MIA
by Lurkz
Summary: Picking up a short time after Straits of Malacca. Harm, Mac, and Vukovic are captives, now they just need to get out and somehow get on with life. Rating for violence, language, etc.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: None of the JAG characters are mine, they belong ot Donald Bellisario and CBS and whatnot._

_First real attempt at writing a pure JAG fan fic. Used a little bit of creative license/author's privelage to massage the timelines to my liking. Basically Harm was diverted from FL to the middle east, and now Mac, Harm, and Vukovic are all together out there. Story starts basically in the middle, I promise I'll be explaining how they got to where they are, just bear with me. Read, review, constructive criticism is welcome, flames will be summarily ignored. Enjoy.

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"Harm… Harm!" He stirred, groaning, his mind fragmenting. The voice whispered again, "Harm!" Was that his name? He wasn't entirely positive, though the voice seemed familiar. Groaning again he tried to move away from the insidious whispering, only to fail miserably as the wall made its presence known. "Commander Rabb! Get your ass up, sailor!"

Harm struggled to raise his head, peering blearily towards the door. Slowly his mind cleared, he recognized the voice, "Sarah?" His voice was scarcely louder than a whisper. Shaking his head slightly to clear the cobwebs he managed to make it to a sitting position. Clearing his throat he tried again, "Sarah?"

"Harm! Can you stand?"

"I… I think so, give me a second." Taking a deep breath Harm climbed to his feet, leaning heavily against the wall for support. Finally his surroundings sank in; the room was barely six by six. Dim and dank the only light came from a single bare bulb in the ceiling, though he was certain the wattage was only about 40. It wasn't even large enough for him to lie down full length. A sturdy door was in one wall, the only access to anything outside the room. It was from the other side of the door that Mac's voice was coming from. "Ok, I'm up."

"I'm going to get you out of there; your lock's really rusty so it's going to take a little time."

"Wait," a thought occurred to him as his thoughts shuffled back into place. "Where's the lieutenant?" There was a pause. On the other side of the door Mac sighed, resting her forehead briefly against the door. She'd nearly forgotten about Lt. Vukovic. Finally she answered, her voice a bit strained, "The next room. I'll get him next."

"Mac… do you have time to save us both? Speaking of which, how'd you get out anyways?"

Mac smiled faintly, though her heart twisted, "Knocked out my guard, he underestimated Marines."

"Heh," Harm laughed shortly. "You still didn't answer the first question, Mac."

"Harm…"

Harm sighed, his gut clenching. Leaning against the door he closed his eyes tightly for a moment, he knew the answer. He heard a muffled sound from outside, his head jerked up, time was running out. Slowly he spoke, the words falling heavily on his own ears, "Save the lieutenant, Mac."

"Harm!" Mac's voice was edging towards panic. She glanced around quickly, hearing the noise but no one was in sight, yet. She knew what Harm was doing and she felt sick over it.

"You and I both know only two of us can get out, Mac. Save the lieutenant."

"No, Harm, I'm not leaving you."

"Do it, Mac. He has more life ahead of him than I do, save him."

"Harm… I am _not _leaving you," her voice broke. Tears lurked just behind her eyes, fiercely she blinked them back. She refused to break down; she couldn't afford to break down. Through misty eyes Mac stared down at the lock which had refused to budge, though she'd been working at it the whole time. A voice in the back of her mind told her it wasn't going to open; she knew it wouldn't budge but something in her wouldn't allow her to stop trying.

"Mac… you can't even get the lock open can you?" Harm asked softly, his voice barely carrying through the door. Mac blinked again, angrily dashing away a tear that managed to escape. Furious with herself she hit the door with the heel of her hand. She didn't answer him, knowing he'd be able to figure out the answer whether she spoke or not. Mac leaned against the door and sighed. "Sarah…" Harm murmured her name, just loud enough to be heard, "save Lt. Vukovic." His voice was steady, hiding his own inner turmoil.

She closed her eyes against the feelings his use of her first name evoked. Slowly she nodded, even though he couldn't see her. Quietly she answered, "I'll come back for you, Harm. Don't you dare die."

"I'll try."

"Promise me," Mac's voice broke, "promise me you won't die, Harm."

Harm fought back his own tears; gently he laid his hand against the door as if he could reach through and touch her on the other side. His heart was breaking inside; his voice thick with unshed tears, "I promise." And he vowed to himself that whatever it took he would do everything in his power to stay alive. He had to.

Mac didn't feel much better, she knew Harm always kept his promises but she couldn't help the feeling that this might be one promise he couldn't keep. Silently she stood there, leaning against the door. Though she knew she needed to leave quickly she couldn't quite drag herself away just yet. Her best friend was on the other side of that door, about to be left behind for an indeterminate time. And if she was honest with herself, he could quite probably be more. "Harm?" she murmured, she wasn't even sure he'd hear her.

"Yeah?"

"I… uh…" she brushed away another tear, the words lodging in her throat.

"Mac… there's no time left, go."

"I…"

"Go. I'll be waiting when you come to save my six," Harm forced a weak smile through his own tears, hoping it would imbue his words with more reassurance then he could actually muster. He was feeling weaker by the second; his entire body ached though he couldn't quite remember why. He waited for an answer, when he received none he insisted again, "Mac, go, get yourself and…" he hesitated, "and the lieutenant out of here."

Mac nodded to herself and finally murmured, "I love you."

Harm froze, he wasn't positive he'd heard what he thought. He'd waited so long to hear those words from her and now he couldn't be sure he wasn't hallucinating. She'd barely spoken loud enough for him to hear, hell he wasn't even sure she _had _spoken. And if she had, he didn't know if she'd actually wanted him to hear, if she'd even said them consciously. "Mac, I…"

"I'll be back for you," she stated clearly, switching fully into Marine-mode as he thought of it. Then he heard her footsteps moving away and she was gone. Turning, he slowly slid down the wall, head dropping slowly into his hands, elbows propped against his knees. He could feel the tears slowly running down his face as he whispered brokenly to the empty air, "I love you, Sarah."

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Mac discovered that the lock on Vukovic's door was newer than the one on Harm's, opening without much effort. She'd cleared the tears; her jaw was set, eyes flinty and cold as she shoved open the door. Mac didn't blink or flinch as she straight armed the lieutenant who'd tried to jump her. Glancing down at him she snapped, "Let's go." 

Vukovic blinked up at her from where he sprawled on the ground, "Nice one."

"Don't mess with a marine, now get up, and let's go." Mac turned and peered into the hallway, tugging the pistol she'd confiscated from her guard from the back of her BDU pants. She looked over her shoulder as Vukovic managed to stand and come up behind her.

"Maybe I should take the gun."

Mac arched an eyebrow, the only indication of a reaction, "I'll shoot you first, lieutenant." Dismissing him from her mind she moved out into the hallway, gun at the ready. Reaching the corner she double checked that the safety was off and that a round was chambered. Vukovic followed closely, studying her intently.

She could feel his gaze boring into her back but she ignored it, her mind raced, planning the best way out for herself and the lieutenant. But her heart was back in the one remaining locked room, Harm's cell. She felt empty; the only thing that mattered was getting out of here alive so that she could return for him.

Without speaking she went right, creeping through the building. Vukovic crept up behind her, whispering quietly, so close she could feel his breath on her neck, "Do you know where we're going?"

Subtly she moved away from him, having no desire to be anywhere near him, in fact if it hadn't been for Harm's insistence she'd been close to just leaving him in his cell. The small voice in her head told her she wouldn't have done that, and she knew it was true, but a large part of her wished she could. If it hadn't been for Lt. Hotshot they wouldn't be in this situation to begin with. And Harm wouldn't be a prisoner, wouldn't be being left behind in an Iraqi prison.

"_Come on!" Vukovic dashed after the fleeing insurgents, service weapon in hand._

"_Vukovic! No!" Mac screamed after him. Harm spun around, looking frantically for the reason for her scream._

_Seeing the lieutenant sprinting off he cursed, "Shit! Mac, we gotta stop him!"_

_Mac nodded and started after Vukovic, Harm hot on her heels. They had just rounded an outcropping when they were confronted with a veritable wall of weapons. Vukovic lay on the ground nearby, trussed up with rope, unconscious. Harm and Mac skidded to a halt. Glancing at each other they dropped their own weapons and raised their hands…_

Shaking off the memory, Mac glanced around the next corner. Vukovic was still right behind her but she couldn't move further away without stepping out into the hall and she didn't particularly want to do that. She could see two guards standing at the end of the intersecting hall, apparently chatting about something or other. They were too far away for her to make out the words, but both were heavily armed. Breathing a curse she pulled back and leaned against the wall to think.

Closing her eyes briefly, she pictured Harm's face, not as it was after the beatings but before, when they'd been on the carrier. Shaking off the sorrow the thought caused she opened her eyes again, arching a curious eyebrow at Lt. Vukovic who had leaned closer to peer at her face. Though she didn't speak verbally her eyes spoke volumes, silent warning him to back off. Vukovic quirked a slight smile and leaned around her to peer down the corridor. Sighing softly Mac edged back away from him as much as possible.

Vukovic didn't look at her but whispered softly, "We can take them, ma'am."

Mac looked at him sharply and whispered back, her voice reflecting her annoyance at his assumption, "In case you haven't noticed they are both armed and at least 50 feet away, they see us, they shoot us and we're both screwed."

Vukovic flinched slightly and shot back, "So what are we supposed to do?"

Mac sighed again and glanced back at the two men, they were still there and apparently oblivious to the two JAG officer's presence. She thought for a moment, mentally reviewing what she had learned about the building. Gunshots would definitely be heard through much of the area. She bit back a curse; she would be able to take them both out but not without alerting everyone else. But they needed to get down that corridor, and soon.

But apparently soon was going to be immediately as an alarm sounded; their disappearance had been discovered. Shoving down her flash of fear for Harm she acted swiftly. Shoving Vukovic out of the way she stepped out slightly from the wall, gun steady in a two handed grip. Smoothly she fired two shots, taking out both guards. "Come on." She headed down the hall, scanning the surroundings intently, pistol at the ready. Reaching the bodies she bent down for a brief second; grabbing extra clips from one, grateful that they were carrying the same model pistol as her guard had been.

Glancing at Vukovic she signaled for him to arm himself then follow her. He nodded slightly, grabbing pistol and clips from the other man. They could hear a commotion not too far away, and some yelling from the way they had come. Mac jogged forward, glancing around the next corner. Finally, though it had been maybe five minutes since their escape it felt like a lifetime, but the door to the outside was just ahead. Of course then they had to get away, she refused to think that far ahead. Shooting another glance at Vukovic she could tell he was watching her almost as intently as he was watching the hallway.

Rolling her eyes she sprinted for the door, Vukovic a couple of steps behind. Two men burst out of a door along the hall, just in front of her. Without thinking she dove, cursing vehemently as she rolled up against the wall. Her ribs hurt like hell, a sharp reminder that she wasn't in nearly as good of shape as she needed to be. Spinning she shot the nearest man in the leg, watching as he crumpled to the ground with a shout. The other spun around, bringing up his weapon to take her out. She jerked out of the way, biting back a scream as the bullet grazed her arm.

Distantly she wondered where the hell Vukovic was. Another shot rang out and she flinched, bracing herself for the impact that never came. Instead she watched as the man was spun around when a bullet clipped his shoulder. Snarling he shot blindly behind him. Mac pulled up her pistol one handed and shot him in the back. Staggering to her feet she shot him again, ensuring he'd stay down.

Slowly she dragged her gaze up, to find Vukovic staring at her, his pistol out. Leaning heavily against the wall she ejected the spent clip. Slamming another into place she flipped the slide release. Noticing Vukovic still staring in stunned silence she snapped out, "Let's go." Without waiting for an answer she turned, pushing away thoughts of the pain in her ribs and arm. She had a feeling there were other injuries to be concerned about but she refused to think of that.

Moving towards the door once more she kept a wary eye out for more people to appear. The yelling in the rear of the building had gotten louder, and some commotion was heading their way. She closed her eyes briefly against the tears that threatened as she realized the screaming was probably directed at Harm, the sole remaining captive. Refusing to think of what they would do to him she moved resolutely forward, gun held in one hand as she wasn't sure her other arm was up to bracing it. Vukovic wasn't far behind as they jogged down the corridor. Reaching the door, she waved Vukovic to get on the other side of it before kicking it open.


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: None of the JAG characters belong to me, they belong to Donald Bellisario and CBS and whatnot._

The pair dodged outside, squinting in the bright Iraqi sunlight. A barely visible road led away from the building towards the southeast. Mac gave the surrounding area a brief scan; fortunately no one had run outside yet. There were a few men milling on the other side of a truck, they seemed to be confused as to what to do about the alarm. Mac jerked her head at Vukovic and started off at a sprint at a 45 degree angle to the road, heading nearly due south.

Glancing behind herself frequently Mac was terrified that the men would see them. Unfortunately it wasn't too long before more men burst out the front door. Cursing to herself Mac skidded around a rock, trying desperately to get out of sight though out of mind would be too much to ask for. Vukovic dove in behind her. Mac panted heavily, peering out at the coming men. Mac muttered a few choice curse words. Vukovic blinked at her, apparently in surprise at her vocabulary.

Mac ignored him; he was no where near the top of her priority list right now. Steadfastly ignoring the pain in her body also she turned and silently directed the Lt. to head for the next closest hiding place. They were going to have to be damned careful. It would take a hell of a lot of luck to keep them from being captured again, and Mac wasn't really counting the odds on luck too high at the moment. Chancing one last look at the building she noted the men piling into trucks. Heavily armed and obviously very put out she knew they wouldn't be taking prisoners this time.

Dodging back behind the rock she turned and ran as fast as she could to where Vukovic was waiting behind another building, this one much smaller than the previous. Giving the building a once over she noted that it seemed abandoned. Glancing around swiftly, she finally registered the presence of a few more buildings. This one was the only one that appeared empty though. Pointing towards next closest building she started heading for it, careful to keep out of sight as much as possible. Mac could hear the trucks roaring to life, heading off down both directions of the road. It was logical to search the road first. Hell, in all honesty it would have probably been smarter for them to head down the road.

But she couldn't shake the feeling that if they just hung around a little longer they'd have a better chance of getting away. Semi-used to the physic hunches by now she'd made a split-second decision to heed this one. Swiftly she ducked behind the building, Vukovic dodging out of sight just as more men came out of the front. It was apparent from their actions that they were the detail in charge of searching the building cluster. Carefully keeping out of sight and not particularly caring what Vukovic thought of her actions, she edged around the building. Reaching a door she eased it open, slipping inside and waving for Vukovic to follow. He did so and she shut the door as quietly as she'd opened it. Sliding to the floor she sighed softly. Hopefully they wouldn't think to search the building they'd just exited, because if they did the two lawyers were worse than screwed.

Vukovic opened his mouth to speak and she shot him a death glare. If he did something now to jeopardize their escape she would kill him herself. He snapped his jaws shut though he glared at her petulantly, clearly annoyed at his lack of input. Arching an eyebrow she silently dared him to take her on, but he didn't quite seem to get the message, smirking slightly in response. Sighing, Mac looked away, studying their location.

They'd entered a small storage room, holding various odds and ends, most of which were in boxes. Two doors opened onto the room, one leading further inside and the other being the one they'd come through. A small window in the door provided the only dim light. Though she wasn't thrilled with small, dim rooms, in this case she was willing to make an exception. Pressed up against the exterior wall, and with the window as dirty as it was, should someone chance a look inside the pair should go unnoticed. _"Should" being the operative word_, Mac thought. Sighing again she listened intently to the men running around outside.

Dimly they could hear shouts as the men checked the various buildings. Initially the sounds were coming from the direction of the abandoned building before moving towards them. Mac held her breath, expecting the door to be flung open at any time and for them to be discovered. She tensed as the window darkened. However, whoever had stopped only paused briefly before continuing on. She slowly released her held breath and closed her eyes. Tipping her head back against the wall she realized in relief that she'd made the right choice. The men had checked the abandoned building first but weren't going to bother searching this one too closely. After all, who would be crazy enough to hide in a building occupied by the very people they were trying to avoid?

_I would_, she thought wryly. Settling against the wall she tensed again as another thought occurred to her. What if they checked this room after they'd returned? Opening her eyes she studied the interior door for a long moment. She hoped the walls and door were thin enough to hear if someone approached from inside. Resigning herself to this small hope she forced herself to relax again, wincing slightly as her ribs protested. She shuddered to think of the diagnosis when they finally got back to US forces.

Looking briefly at the Lt. she murmured, barely loud enough to be heard, "Might as well get comfortable, we can't leave until they come back." He looked at her like she was crazy. Smiling faintly Mac redirected her gaze to the ceiling, letting her thoughts drift.

"_Hey there, sailor," Mac grinned as Harm stepped off the COD._

_Harm flashed a grin at her as he walked up, shooting off a mock two-fingered salute, "Hey there, yourself, marine."_

_The pair turned to head towards the hatch, Mac glanced up at her partner, feeling much more at ease than she had since reaching the carrier a week ago. "How was the flight?"_

"_Boring," Harm replied with a smile._

_Mac laughed, "You almost sound disappointed, Harm."_

_Still smiling he held the door open for her before following her inside. After a moment he replied, "On a COD, boring is definitely something I want."_

_Mac laughed softly at him again. "The Captain wants to see us both on the bridge."_

"_Lead on, Mac. By the way, where's Lieutenant what's-his-name? I thought he'd be with you." Mac frowned, the amusement gone faster than it had appeared. "Mac? There a problem?"_

_She couldn't help but feel touched by his obvious concern. Glancing over her shoulder at him she smiled reassuringly though he noticed it didn't reach her eyes, "Not really. We do need to talk later, though." Harm nodded slowly, a puzzled expression on his face. His eyes were dark with concern, studying her. Stopping in the corridor for a second she turned to him, refraining from touching him though she wanted to. "Harm, everything's fine. I just want to talk to you about some stuff."_

"_The lieutenant," he deduced. "You don't like him?"_

_Mac sighed, brushing a stray lock of hair behind her ear. She looked at the wall, almost as if trying to find support from the cold metal, "It's not that I don't like him…"_

_Harm grinned again and finished her sentence, "It's just that you don't like him."_

_Mac laughed softly and glanced back up at her partner, her eyes smiling at him. Harm continued to grin down at her, the pair sharing a silent communication that was so much a part of their relationship they didn't even notice it._

Mac could feel tears pricking again as she thought of Harm. Closing her eyes until they were gone she forced her mind to think of something other than her best friend. But the memory of their comfortable interaction was still fresh and her heart twisted inside. She couldn't bear the thought of never seeing him again, of not being able to tease him, have such a carefree conversation with him. Angrily she muttered to herself, "Get a grip, marine."

Vukovic looked up from his contemplation of the ground, shooting a curious glance at her. Mac refused to meet his eyes, simply staring at the ceiling some more. Steadfastly she forced herself to think about their current predicament. She had no idea how close US forces might be. They could be a few hours away they could be a few days away. For that matter, she had no idea what direction they would be in since she had no idea where in the country they were. About all she did know was the time and knowing at it was 1257 ZULU wasn't really all that much help. On the upside, that meant it should be getting dark soon, which would provide much better cover for fleeing than the daylight.

The pair continued to sit in silence, listening to the men bang around outside. After a while they heard the trucks pull up; then there was more shouting as their former captors searched the compound again. Fortunately, by this time it was starting to get dark, which meant that the room they were in was edging towards total blackness. The alarm had been shut off long before, leaving the only sounds to be that of people milling about. Finally they heard people inside their building. Tapping Vukovic lightly on the shoulder Mac edged the door open and peered out. There was no one in sight; everyone seemed to be either inside or at least in front of the buildings. Slipping out she waited for the Lt. to join her.

Silently she crept towards the corner of the building in the fading light. Night was falling swiftly and she wanted to be out of the open when it did so. Risking a glance around the corner of the building she stopped short when she saw men loading the trucks. She watched them for a moment, satisfied that they were too distracted to notice the pair scamper across the space between buildings she took off at a sprint, crouching as low as possible. No one appeared to notice as the commotion and disappearing light conspired to make them nigh invisible in their desert BDUs and tan tops.

Without a word, or even a glance at Vukovic, Mac slipped inside the abandoned building. It was nearly pitch black inside. When Vukovic bumped into her she bit back a startled yelp, turning and glaring at him as best she could in the darkness. Mac hissed, "Be careful, lieutenant!"

"Sorry," he whispered back, though he didn't really sound that sorry. Rolling her eyes Mac started working her way towards the front of the building, wanting to keep an eye on their ex-captors. After much bumping into walls and muttered curses she found the front room. Kneeling on the floor she peered over the bottom of the window, watching the chaos outside.

After a long moment she breathed, "Oh no." She could feel the blood drain from her face. Slowly she set the pistol on the ground, her hand shaking too badly to hold it as the meaning of the activity sunk in.

Vukovic asked softly, his voice right in her ear, "What?"

Mac barely registered his proximity, her gaze riveted to the scene in front of her. After a long pause Vukovic poked her side, causing her to hiss in pain. Slapping his hand away she finally answered, her voice dull, "They're leaving."

"Great! After they've gone we can get out of here and find someone on our side."

"They're leaving," Mac repeated, looking at him for the first time since they had entered the other building. He looked bewildered. He opened his mouth to speak again but Mac cut him off, "They're leaving and they're taking the Commander with them."

Vukovic blinked at her, as if this was too complicated for him. "The Commander?" he asked in puzzlement.

Mac resisted the urge to scream and beat him about the head. Instead her redirected her gaze to outside, watching dully as Harm's captors dragged him to a truck and shoved him inside. She could tell he was barely conscious. Slowly she answered Vukovic, her voice biting, "Commander Rabb. You know, my partner."

Vukovic stared at her, his jaw working. After a long moment he spoke, "I uh… I didn't think..."

Mac cut him off, her head snapping around, eyes blazing with suppressed fury, "That's right, lieutenant, you didn't think! You never do!"

Vukovic rocked back from the anger emanating from her. He started to say something but Mac turned away again, effectively stopping the conversation. Vukovic blinked again and then sighed heavily. Slowly he studied the room they were in. He rested against the wall, his back to the outside, knees drawn up. He draped his arms over his knees, pistol dangling from his right hand. Idly he stared off into space, wondering just how long Mac planned for them to sit there waiting. _Heh, not like she'll ever let me call her that to her face_, he thought with a trace of bitterness.

He contemplated Commander Rabb, feeling vaguely annoyed that Mac insisted on calling Rabb her partner even though he had been assigned to be her partner. _Ok, she was assigned to train me, but still…_, he mused. Sighing again he wondered exactly what was going on, he had known both Commander Rabb and Colonel MacKenzie had been prisoners with him but when the Colonel had appeared in his doorway alone he'd assumed that the Commander had either already gotten free or was dead. He supposed he should've asked after the Commander, but he'd be damned if he apologized for not doing so.

Mac continued to stare out the window, watching in pained silence as the men finished loading the trucks then piled in themselves. A single tear rolled down her cheek as the trucks roared off down the road. Distantly she was glad it was dark and that the tear was on the cheek facing away from Vukovic. Slowly she brushed it away, still staring blankly into the night. Eventually Vukovic spoke, "So when do we leave?"

Mac answered calmly, her voice devoid of emotion, the perfect marine, "In a couple hours."

"Right… and we're going to know how long that is… how?"

"It's 1406 ZULU, we'll leave at 1600 ZULU," Mac replied quietly.

Vukovic looked at her in shock, "And you know that… how?" Mac shrugged, still not looking at him. Vukovic waited then asked again, "How do you know that? They took our watches." Mac glanced over at him, arching an eyebrow though she still didn't answer. "Are you going to tell me?"

"No," she stated simply, turning her head and resuming her silent supervision of the yard. Vukovic grimaced, thumping his head back against the wall. The corner of Mac's lips twitched in a slight smile, she was vaguely amused at his reaction. But the amusement fled swiftly and Mac continued to stare out the window, disconsolate.


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: None of the JAG characters are mine, they belong ot Donald Bellisario and CBS and whatnot._

_Thanks for the reviews! Glad to know people are enjoying the story as much as I'm enjoying writing it. o) To answer a couple questions, as of right now Mac isn't quite to the point of hitting him, but that may change. And as to why she didn't save Harm, well then there wouldn't be a much fun angst to write. Not to mention I felt it was a little more in character for Harm to sacrifice himself to save someone else. So keep reading, hope you all like this part also. We'll be heading back to JAG HQ temporarily in the next part also, just in case people were wondering what was going on elsewhere in the world. Enjoy!

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His entire body hurt, his mind was even more fragmented than before. Vaguely he remembered the yelling, the alarm, being hit. He remembered something about being asked where Mac and Vukovic were, he was fairly certain he hadn't answered. In all honestly, he didn't know where they were, could only hope they'd gotten away. Groaning Harm tried to move, the stabbing pain shooting up his arms and legs bringing back his memories full force.

He remembered being dragged from the cell, shoved into the truck, barely able to stand on his own much less walk. He could feel the ropes cutting into his wrists and ankles. The floor of the truck vibrated roughly against his body, causing his entire body to ache. There was a sharp jolt as the truck drove over a pothole and Harm barely managed to bite back the scream, his ribs feeling like someone had taken a bone saw to them. For a moment he panicked, his scattered mind unable to reassure him that his ribs indeed hadn't been sawed up.

Squirming in an automated response brought on by the panic attack he whimpered at the stabbing pains. Slowly he cracked one eye open, trying to take in his surroundings. The interior of the truck was dark, vaguely he could see what appeared to be a bench… or at least he thought that was what it was since there also appeared to be two of them. After a long moment he tried to force open his other eye only to realize he couldn't. A small voice in the back of his mind reminded him that he'd been punched for refusing to speak. _A black eye, fabulous_, he thought to himself. For a brief moment he felt the urge to laugh, a hysterical reaction taking over.

A short chuckle forced its way out, causing him to hiss in pain. _Yeah, definitely some cracked ribs_, Harm tried to catalog his injuries, the moment of amusement fleeing. Methodically he continued his assessment, _Bruises, possible broken leg, lacerations on wrists and ankles… _he sighed softly, this was definitely not what he'd expected when he'd been rerouted from Florida to the middle east. Vaguely he wondered if he had a concussion, not that these guys were really going to try and prevent complications if he did have one. His vision was still doubled so he closed his eye again, deciding that the weird double vision wasn't really going to help him.

Carefully he shifted, trying to jar his body as little as possible. He wasn't entirely successful, gritting his teeth as some stubborn flyboy part of him refused to cry out. Eventually he'd managed to reorient himself so he could see deeper into the truck. Opening his eye again he wondered wryly what exactly he had accomplished by moving. The truck was dark, uniformly brown, and empty except for him. He felt miffed that they hadn't even thought him worthy of a guard; then he had to concede that they were right. He could barely move much less try to escape.

Harm began sifting through his memories, attempting to come up with a timeline for all that had happened. He remembered Mac at his door and telling her to save Vukovic. The next thing he remembered was being screamed at by the guards, a fist flying at his face, stumbling to the ground and a boot catching him in the ribs. The rest was a blur, loud and confusing. Then he was in the truck and he had no clue how long he'd been there. His lips twisted in a sad smile; if Mac was there she'd know how long it had been. But he banished that thought, there was no way he wanted Mac anywhere near this situation if at all possible.

Suddenly a memory flared, perfectly clear. His sharp intake of breath caused his ribs to protest again but he barely noticed it. Clearly in his mind he could hear the conversation between himself and Mac before she left. The tail end of it was now replaying itself in an endless loop, _I love you_. Harm closed his eyes; the words wouldn't leave him, whispering through his thoughts, banishing all others.

Like a drowning man he clung to those words, but almost immediately another thought slammed into his mind on the heel of the first. What if she hadn't meant it? Had she even realized she was saying it? Was she even thinking of him when she'd said it? A single tear streaked down his cheek, his heart was twisting in agony, but the doubts wouldn't leave him alone. He wasn't even sure she'd heard his response.

Slowly his memories were returning, and his doubts continued to grow. He'd hesitated in his answer, what if she hadn't heard him? What if she'd only heard the hesitation and thought he didn't love her back? That thought was somehow even worse than the thought that she didn't love him. He couldn't bear the thought that he could die and she would never know how much he cared.

He tried to force the thoughts from his mind and focus on his situation but was finding it difficult to do so. He replayed the entire conversation over and over; he remembered Mac's hesitation, her attempts to speak which he kept interrupting. Harm cursed himself for stopping her, why could he never figure out how to shut up and let her speak? Pissed at himself he let his head thump back onto the floor of the truck and yelped in pain. Bad idea, very bad idea, his mind told him. _I noticed_, he thought bitterly then laughed shortly, now he was talking to himself. The truck hit another pothole then swerved sharply to the right, causing him to slide across the floor. His head slammed heavily into the side. _Son of a bitch_ was his last thought before he slipped back into unconsciousness.

When he came to again the truck had stopped. Groaning he tried to move his head only to be stopped as he realized he was still flush with the side. Dimly he could hear voices outside. The truck shook; he recognized it as the jolt from a door closing. He'd just started to crack his eye open again when the rear end was open. Blearily he tried to make out the man standing there but his vision was now blurry as well as doubled.

Another man joined the first and with an apparent lack of concern for their captive they roughly grabbed his feet and hauled him out. Harm was unable to suppress a whimper then a fell fledged scream as his body slammed to the ground. Gasping for breath he was so consumed with the pain he no longer cared about being stoic and silent. He whimpered again as the men sliced the ropes tying his feet and hauled him upright. He stumbled along between them, his entire attention focused on staying upright.

He barely registered being half-escorted, half-dragged into a building and down a hall. If anyone were to ask him how he got from the truck to the room they finally threw him into he wouldn't have been able to say. When they finally dropped him to the ground of his cell he felt a dim sense of gratitude that he was no longer being forced to move, as well as a slowly growing sense of helplessness. He had no idea how long he lay there in the dark before finally slipping into a restless sleep, haunted by dreams of Mac being recaptured.

* * *

Time crawled for Mac; it was times like this she really didn't like her internal clock, it made her too aware of just how little time had passed. She couldn't shake the depression that had settled over her since watching Harm be taken away. She wasn't even sure she wanted to shake it off. But finally 1600 rolled around. Carefully she stood, hissing softly in pain. Sitting for so long had definitely not been a good idea.

Glancing over at Vukovic for the first time since their conversation about the time she realized he had fallen asleep at some point. Grimacing she nudged him with her toe. When he didn't wake up she sighed in annoyance and nudged him again, none too gently this time. With a start he woke up, blinking at her in confusion. Mac arched an eyebrow at him, clearly waiting for him. "Huh, what?" he asked, running a hand through his hair.

"Get up, Vukovic, it's time to go," without waiting for a response she turned and moved to the front door, exiting without a backwards glance. Vukovic scrambled to his feet and stumbled after her. He rubbed his eyes as he left the building then eyed Mac for a moment, noticing something peculiar.

Catching up with her he glanced down, trying to catch her gaze. When she refused to look at him he sighed then commented, "You're limping."

"Observant," she muttered, without breaking stride.

Vukovic glanced up, his face a mask of confusion, "Uh… why are we going this way? Don't we want to get away from here?"

Mac sighed; sometimes she really wondered how he'd managed to become a naval officer. After a pause she answered, "In case you hadn't noticed it's getting a bit cold. I want to check and see if they left anything useful behind seeing as they were in a rather large hurry to get out of here."

"Oh," Vukovic thought about that for a moment, "good idea."

Mac just rolled her eyes and tugged open the door they had kicked open just hours before. Carefully she scanned the front hallway, automatically bring the pistol up, holding it vertically just in case. Vukovic entered behind her, also holding his pistol up. _Well, at least he knows that much_, Mac thought sarcastically, though she said nothing. Moving forward she stifled a groan at the pain in her leg. She was fairly certain the ankle was sprained but she really didn't want Vukovic to know so she sucked it up and kept moving. They reached a juncture and Mac glanced at Vukovic, "You go that way." She gestured to the right then promptly headed down the left hallway.

She'd chosen this direction deliberately; it was the hallway that led back to the rooms in which they'd been held. Carefully she made her way through the building, checking each room as she came to it. Though there were obvious signs of the quick exit so far she'd found nothing of use. After a few minutes she reached the hall of cells. Taking a deep breath she moved straight for the room Harm had been in. Hesitantly she pushed the now unlocked door open. Slipping through the doorway she let the door close behind her. Slowly she slid to the floor, back against the door.

Mac dropped her head into her hands, trying hard not to burst into tears. She really didn't want Vukovic asking awkward questions. Sighing softly she tilted her head back, resting it against the door and staring off into space. She knew she couldn't sit here long as Vukovic would eventually come looking for her. She felt closer to Harm in here and for just a moment she wanted to be selfish, before she had to go back to being the kickass marine that would have to save both their asses.

After a couple minutes she stood, dragging her right hand through her hair which had long since come unbraided. With one last glance around the room she slipped back out, carefully closing the door behind her. Briefly she leaned against the wall, doing her best to get her emotions under control. Suddenly visiting Harm's cell didn't seem like such a bright idea, but it was too late now. Shaking her head she straightened and continued down the hallway to the small storage room at the end.

She had just pushed the door open and entered the room when she heard footsteps behind her. Without thinking she whirled around, leveling the gun at the intruder. She froze when she found herself face to face with Vukovic, who looked both surprised and amused. When she didn't lower the gun immediately he frowned, reaching for her. Mac deftly stepped out of the way and lowered the weapon. Turning she commented over her shoulder, "I almost shot you, lieutenant."

"That's the second time, colonel. I'm beginning to think you don't like me," he smiled.

Mac was somewhat less than amused, "Then maybe you should stop sneaking up on me, lieutenant." She didn't give him time to reply, continuing speaking as she moved further into the room, "Did you find anything?"

"Not much, just a flashlight."

Mac nodded absently then came to a sudden halt, half-smiling, "Well here's something."

"What?" he came up behind her to peer over her shoulder.

Mac grabbed an item and handed it to him, "Our BDU jackets."

"Excellent," he slipped it on then turned to continue searching the room. He didn't notice that Mac hadn't joined him.

For her part she was still staring at the two remaining items on the shelf, her jacket and Harm's. She started to reach for her own but her hand seemed to have a mind of its own, grabbing Harm's instead. Temporarily forgetting Vukovic's presence she hugged the jacket to herself; she could still faintly smell his cologne in the material. Closing her eyes tightly she clung to the jacket. Vukovic's voice startled her out of her reverie, "I don't think there's anything else of use here, colonel."

Mac glanced over at him, grateful for the darkness and the fact that he still wasn't looking at her. She nodded slightly in agreement, "No, probably not."

"You got your jacket?" he smiled at her.

"Yeah," Mac set the pistol down and slipped her arms through the sleeves of Harm's jacket. It was too big for her but she refused to leave it behind. Grabbing the pistol again she strode out of the room, "Let's go."

Vukovic followed, getting quite annoyed at her tendency to just give him an order and walk off. Jogging slightly he caught up and fell into step behind her, "You know, that's getting irritating." Mac glanced at him briefly, moving as rapidly as she could through the building towards the exit. She wanted to be out of here as quickly as possible. Vukovic huffed, "And so is that."

"What?" Mac knew exactly what she was doing that was annoying him, but she really didn't care. Her whole life now was getting back to US forces so she could then return and find Harm, nothing else mattered, especially not Vukovic's petulance.

"You keep walking off."

Mac shrugged still striding through the building, "Your point, lieutenant?"

Vukovic scowled, not that it had any impact, especially not in the dark. He continued, "And you won't answer me half the time."

"And?" They exited into the moonlight. Mac glanced around briefly before starting off down the road, hoping that it would lead somewhere useful, like a marine outpost. Vukovic ground his teeth together as he paced next to her.

Finally he bit out, "Were you like this with your last partner?"

"Last partner?" Mac stopped abruptly and turned to face him, eyes flashing warningly.

"Yeah, Commander Rabb. He was your last partner right?"

"No, he wasn't. Commander Rabb is my _current _partner. You're a trainee, my colleague, NOT my partner," Mac snapped. She glared at him for a moment longer then spun again and stalked off, tucking the pistol into the waistband of her BDUs and tugging the jacket closer. Vukovic watched her go in stunned silence. It took him a few moments to shake off the shock; by that point Mac was a good hundred feet away. He sighed; this was going to be a long journey.


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer: None of the JAG characters are mine, they belong ot Donald Bellisario and CBS and whatnot._

_Thanks to everyone who's reading and thanks for the reviews! Glad you guys are liking the story. This chapter deals entirely with what's going on back at JAG Headquarters in the US. And it's all set the day/evening before Mac & Vukovic escape __(about 17 - 18 hours prior to be exact) __ so I hope the jumping back in time doesn't confuse anyone. Again, read, review, and enjoy! I might not get a chance to update this or anything else until Thursday night (crazy parents wanting me to do silly things like chores during spring break oP), but Thursday afternoon I'll be back at my apartment so I'll be able to work on all my stories.

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**Previous Day**

**JAG Headquarters**

**2100 ZULU**

Commander Turner, Lieutenant Commander Roberts and Petty Officer Coates stood at attention in the JAG office, eyeing General Cresswell warily. He'd called them into his office a few minutes before but so far hadn't said a word. Instead he stared out the window at the snow, his thoughts thousands of miles away. The office door had been closed at his orders when they'd first reported and since then he'd seemed to forget about their presence.

Bud and Sturgis exchanged glances before both glanced over at Jen. She shrugged slightly; despite being the General's yeoman she had no more of an idea about the summons than they did. Discretely Sturgis coughed, trying to get the General's attention without being insubordinate. Cresswell smiled faintly though no one could see, he'd wondered how long it would be before they got tired of waiting. But then the reason he'd called them in came back to him and the smile fled. Heaving a heavy sigh he turned around, his expression reflecting his deep concern, "Please be seated."

The trio exchanged glances again, this didn't look good. Slowly they all took seats in front of the General's desk, their eyes reflecting their own mounting concern. Bud asked quietly, "What's the problem, General?"

Cresswell looked down at his desk for a moment then paced around the desk. Leaning against the front of his desk he studied his two officers and yeoman for a long moment, debating exactly how to phrase his news. Finally he started, his voice heavy, "I called you in here because out of the members of this office you are closest to Commander Rabb and Colonel MacKenzie."

Jen gasped softly and Cresswell glanced at her, his gaze sympathetic. Sturgis spoke quickly, his own quarrels with Mac and Harm momentarily forgotten, "What's wrong with Mac and Harm?"

Cresswell hesitated for a brief moment before he continued, his voice soft, "Commander Rabb, Colonel MacKenzie and Lieutenant Vukovic are all missing."

They stared at him in stunned silence, having difficulty processing what he had just said. After a long moment Sturgis spoke again, a quick glance at Jen assuring him she'd be unable to speak for some time and Bud was too stunned to do so, "Missing where, sir?"

"Iraq."

"I thought Mac and Vukovic were on a carrier? And Harm was supposed to be in Florida?"

"Commander Rabb was diverted, sent out to help the Colonel and Lieutenant with a case involving an F-14 pilot."

"So what were they doing on shore?"

Cresswell sighed and shook his head, "I don't know."

Jen finally spoke up, her eyed red from suppressed tears, "How long have they been missing?"

"Two days."

"Two days!" Bud queried, shocked. "And they just now told us?"

"I'm afraid so."

"Well they're still looking for them, right?" Sturgis asked anxiously, he'd had his problems with both Mac and Harm, hell was in the middle of a fight with his academy buddy, but he never wanted anything to actually happen to them.

"Yes, the men on the ground are still looking, but no one knows where they've been taken. For all we know they aren't even in the country any more."

They all sat in silence, digesting this knowledge. Silent tears had started streaming down Jen's face and Bud looked on the verge of tears. Even Sturgis looked shell shocked, stunned that his long time friend was MIA, possibly even dead. Cresswell scanned their faces then straightened, "You're all dismissed. Take an early day, go home, I'll make the formal announcement to the rest of the office but I thought you three should know first."

The three rose and came to attention before turning to leave. Bud hesitated at the door then turned back to the general. Cresswell arched an eyebrow curiously at him, motioning for him to speak. Bud paused to collect himself them ask tentatively, "Has anyone told Admiral Chegwidden yet?"

Cresswell blinked, it hadn't even occurred to him to tell the former JAG. He shook his head, "No, I don't believe so."

"May I tell him, sir? He would want to know."

Cresswell nodded, "Yeah, you can tell him. Dismissed, commander."

"Aye, sir," Bud nodded and left, making his way slowly across the bullpen to his office. Shutting the door he sat at his desk for a long moment, staring blankly at the papers piled up in front of him. Slowly he began to get ready to leave, placing files and laptop in his briefcase. He pondered calling Harriet but decided it would worry her too much if he called to tell her he was leaving early, better to wait until he was at home so he could be there for her. Finishing gathering his things Bud grabbed the phone next, hesitating briefly before rapidly punching in the phone number for the retired admiral, wanting to dial before he changed his mind.

After two rings the line connected, "Chegwidden."

"Admiral! It's Bud."

"Hi Bud," AJ paused, "Shouldn't you be at the office?"

"I am at the office, sir."

"Oh," AJ wandered over to his armchair and sat down, absently scratching Dammit behind the ears. He frowned slightly, something was off with Bud's voice, "What's wrong, Commander?"

Bud took a deep breath, "I have some bad news, Admiral."

AJ tensed, gripping the phone tighter, "Tell me."

"Colonel MacKenzie and Commander Rabb are missing in Iraq, sir."

"Oh god," he breathed, falling back into the chair. He didn't know what to think, various fragments of memories flitting across his mind. He'd had his problems with both of them, mostly with Harm, but he thought of the pair as his own children, and now his heart felt ripped out. Finally he managed to speak, "What happened?"

"They uh..." Bud had to pause to take a breath, struggling not to cry, "they were on a carrier investigating a case and had to go to shore for some reason."

"How long?" AJ demanded.

"Two days, sir."

"Well they're still looking for them right!" AJ was practically shouting, going into full admiral mode without conscious thought.

"Yes, sir."

AJ took a deep breath, trying to calm himself, "Thanks for telling me, Bud. You'll keep me informed of any developments?"

"Of course, sir."

AJ nodded though Bud couldn't see him, "Have you told Harriet?"

"I'm going to head home and tell her, sir, I thought I should be there for her, she'll be devastated."

"Good idea, Bud." AJ sighed, "Go home to your wife, Commander, thanks again for informing me."

"Yes, sir. I'll call you as soon as I have any more news."

"Goodbye, Bud."

"Bye, sir." Bud hung up the phone and stared at it for a long moment before picking up his cover and briefcase. Heading out of the office, he closed the door and made his way to the elevator. Behind him the General had just appeared from his office to make the announcement.

Sturgis sat in his office, watching in silence as the General spoke to the staff. He'd closed his office door and so couldn't hear Cresswell's exact words, but he didn't need to. He sighed, his gaze shifting to settle on Harm's office. Sorrowfully he studied the empty room, blinds drawn and light out. His briefcase was already packed and sitting on his desk, cover resting on top of it, but he didn't make a move to leave just yet.

He was having a hard time coming to grips with the news. The last time he'd spoken to Harm it had been to accuse him of murder then a distant goodbye. Always he had just assumed there would be time later to deal with it, that they would have time to discuss things, work it out. He'd figured they would get through it, that they had time to get through it. True, their personalities clashed, but they'd gotten through fights before. Yeah, this one had been a bit more extreme and long lasting but it had never occurred to Sturgis that they wouldn't have the time to salvage their friendship again.

His mind roved over memories of the past few months, of the time he'd served as temporary JAG and the months following. He'd accused Harm of being jealous and he still believed it, but now he wondered if some of the problem really had been his own attitude. Sighing, Sturgis dropped his head into his hands for a moment, suddenly life was turned upside down and he had no idea how to handle it. After a long moment he rose, methodically gathering his belongings and leaving the office. He barely acknowledged or even noticed the rest of the staff, making a beeline for the elevator, lost in thought.

Escaping into the solitude of the elevator Sturgis stared idly at the numbers, absently watching them change. He stepped off the elevator and strode through the front door, placing his cover on his head and returning the salute of the guards. Slipping behind the wheel of his car he sat there for a moment, staring out at the softly falling snow. Shaking his head slightly he turned on the car and left headquarters, heading for home, still unsure of how to handle this.

* * *

Jen stood in the hallway for a long moment, staring dully at the door in front of her. It seemed like only yesterday she'd watched Harm exit the apartment, heading off to the office. She couldn't seem to grasp the idea that he was gone. He'd been there for her ever since that Christmas years ago, so steady. Then when he'd gotten custody of Mattie he'd acted so much like a father, or older brother.

And Mac, Mac had always been so kind to her, letting her stay with her despite being a criminal, accepting that she had changed, having faith in her as a legal man, getting her the job at JAG. If Harm was her brother then Mac sometimes seemed to be a sister. It had only been a few weeks before that they'd been down on the beach, talking and laughing together after duty. And suddenly they were both gone, missing somewhere in Iraq and no one knew if they were coming back.

The door began to blur, vaguely Jen wondered why, reaching up to rub her eyes. She felt the tears rolling once more down her cheeks. With a muffled sob she turned to her own apartment door. Fumbling with the lock she finally managed to get it open, slipping inside then slumping against the door. How was she going to tell Mattie? The thought had been haunting her the entire way home. She knew she couldn't not tell Mattie but she had no idea how to break the news, she knew Mattie wouldn't take it very well. Harm meant even more to Mattie than he did to Jen.

She stayed like she way for a few minutes more, struggling to regain control of herself. When she'd manage to get her emotions under control she walked to the phone. Her hand trembled slightly as she picked it up from the cradle, carefully punching in each number. She almost hung up when Mattie's voice sounded on the other end but forced herself to see it through, "Hey Matts."

"Jen? What's wrong? What happened?" Mattie picked up immediately on the thickness of Jen's voice and the hesitation. She was starting to panic; she just knew something was wrong. Then it hit her and she started speaking again before Jen could start, "Oh god, it's Harm isn't it? What happened to Harm? Where is he?"

Finally Jen managed to get a word it, "Mattie, Harm's missing in Iraq."

Mattie sank to the floor, clinging to the phone like a lifeline. Her voice was small, thick with tears, "Why was he in Iraq? I thought he was going to Florida!"

"He got diverted, we don't know what happened. He, Mac, and Vukovic had to go to shore for some reason and disappeared."

"Mac! Mac's missing too?" Mattie started shaking, her entire world suddenly felt as if it were falling to pieces around her ears and she couldn't do a thing to stop it. She didn't really know who this Vukovic was, vaguely she remembered Harm mentioning something about him when they'd talked the previous weekend but she didn't really care right now. All she could think about was that Harm and Mac, two people who had been her friends when she needed them most, were missing.

Jen nodded to herself, struggling to speak through the renewed tears, "Yeah, they've been missing for two days."

"Two days? Are they still alive? They're still alive right, Jen?" Mattie was sobbing, starting to freak out even more.

"I don't know, Matts, I wish I did."

"I'm coming to DC."

"I… you… you don't need to do that."

"I'll have my dad drive me, can I… can I stay with you, Jen?" Mattie asked tentatively, suddenly terrified that she'd be turned away.

"Yeah, of course you can."

Mattie sniffled, rubbing away tears as best she could, "I'll pack my bag and have dad drive me in tonight, k?"

"Sure, I'll see you soon."

"They're going to be ok, Jen," Mattie stated with as much confidence as she could muster. She added in a voice barely above a whisper, "They have to be."

Jen nodded again, answering just as quietly, "I hope you're right," then hung up the phone. She stared at the phone for a long time, still crying quietly. A small part of her mind told her that Mattie really shouldn't be coming in town; that it wouldn't do any good, but the larger portion was glad that the other girl would be there. Jen wasn't sure how she'd get through this if she had to do it alone.


	5. Chapter 5

_Disclaimer: None of the JAG characters are mine, they belong to Donald Bellisario and CBS and whatnot._

_And another chapter! I dunno why, this story is a lot easier to write than some of my others, it keeps bouncing around in my head. Go figure. Thanks for all the reviews! I really appreciate them. And I can't really think of anything else to say so here's the chapter. Read, review, enjoy, and all that jazz.

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_

Bud opened the door to the house slowly, he wasn't looking forward to breaking the news to Harriet; she would be devastated. Sighing he entered the foyer and closed the door behind him, calling out softly, "Honey?"

"I'm up here, Bud!" the answer came from the direction of the twins' room. Leaving his briefcase and cover downstairs by the desk Bud slowly made his way up the stairs. He paused in the doorway to the room, just watching as his wife gently tucked in the sleeping babies. She glanced up and smiled brightly at him, "Hi, sweetie!" But her smile faded immediately when she saw the look on Bud's face, "What's wrong?"

"Harriet, I have something I need to tell you. Can we go in our room for a bit?"

"Yeah, sure," she nodded, looking at him in concern. She knew from his face that this was not going to be news she wanted to find out in front of the kids. Following him down the hall she got a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. Was he being sent overseas? God, she hoped not, she didn't think she could handle that, not after what had happened when he was stationed on the Seahawk.

Bud waited for her to enter their room then quietly closed the door behind her. Motioning for her to sit down he joined her on the bed, looking at her carefully. Harriet frowned, her normally happy exterior gone, "Bud, what is it?"

"I don't really know how to say this…"

"Are you being sent overseas? Transferred?"

Bud blinked in surprise; it hadn't occurred to him that she would think that was what he needed to speak to her about. Though, now that he thought about it, it was a fairly logical conclusion for her to reach. Reaching out he took her hand gently in both of his before meeting her eyes as steadily as he could. Quietly he spoke, "Commander Rabb and Colonel MacKenzie are missing in Iraq."

"What! How? When?" she stared at him in shock, unable to fathom what he had just said.

"We don't know how. If the people over there know they aren't telling us. As for when… two days ago."

"What- what about that Lt. Vuko-whatever? Didn't he help? Shouldn't they have been safer with three of them?" She was starting to panic now, growing more distressed by the second.

Bud carefully pulled her into his arms, trying his best to sooth her. He spoke softly, doing his best to answer her questions, "Yeah, Vukovic was with them. He's missing too. I don't know if he helped or not, and yes, they should have been safer with three of them."

Harriet tried to verbalize more questions but she couldn't get them past the lump in her throat. After a moment of struggling to speak she simply broke down into tears, burying her face in her husband's shirt. Quietly Bud held her, letting her cry it out, god knew he wanted to do the same thing.

* * *

**Next Day**

**JAG Headquarters**

**1330 ZULU**

It seemed the entire staff had arrived early, waiting for the General, hoping he would have more news on their two missing lawyers. Bud, Sturgis, and Jen stood in a small group together in front of Mac's office, trying to ignore the closed door and darkened interior. They spoke softly amongst themselves about their friends, trying to find something positive to think of in this time of bleakness. As one everyone's heads swiveled towards General Cresswell when he appeared. He gazed over the crowd of people, carefully meeting Sturgis, Bud, and Jen's gazes one by one. Finally he looked back at the group as a whole and silently shook his head before continuing on to his office, he knew nothing more.

After that silent announcement the mood of the office seemed to become even more somber. Sometime during the night a black MIA/POW flag had been hung on the conference room doors. Outside another one waved on the flag pole, just below the US flag. Though he had only known for a matter of minutes, the previous evening the general had notified the building staff, informing them that the MIA flag was to be flown until all three officers were found and returned stateside.

* * *

**Same Day**

**Unknown Location, Iraq**

**2100 ZULU**

Mac and Vukovic had been walking for hours, always heading down the road. After Mac had snapped had him Vukovic had made a couple of attempts to speak to her. She'd ignored him each time and eventually he'd lapsed into a sullen silence, shooting annoyed looks at her out of the corner of his eye as they walked. Mac ignored those also, more focused on placing one foot in front of another without falling over. Her ribs screamed at her and her ankle wasn't much better. Every time she took a step she was afraid it would give out. So far it hadn't.

Mac estimated that they'd covered approximately twenty miles. Under better conditions it would've been more but they'd been slowed down a bit by their injuries, though Mac was still pushing the pace beyond what would be considered normal anyways. Indeed, Vukovic had asked her a few times if they could stop. _Come to think of it, he should be asking again in about one minute_, Mac thought. His question was starting to become so regular you could set a clock by it.

Sure enough, a minute and a half later Vukovic spoke up again, "Mac, can we take a break? Geez, it's not like there's anyone out here to catch us if we stop for five minutes."

Mac sighed, finally glancing over at him, a feat she had managed to avoid for the past four and a half hours. "Look, lieutenant, we're in a desert country. We need to move during the night, 'cause if we try to do so during the day we'll just pass out from heat exhaustion."

He arched an eyebrow, "So that means what? We can't even stop for a break?"

Exhaling in annoyance Mac looked forward again. Spotting a rock outcropping not too far ahead she pointed at it, "Fine, we'll stop there for five minutes, no more."

"Thank you," Vukovic said with exaggerated gratitude. Mac simply rolled her eyes at him and wrapped Harm's jacket closer. They reached the rocks a couple minutes later and Vukovic sank down with a sigh of relief. Mac ignored him and perched as far from him as she could, staring off into the distance. The road had curved after a while and they were now headed southwest as opposed to southeast. Mac wasn't really sure that was a benefit, she could only hope they would hit a town before sunrise. Fortunately it was only just after midnight local time, at least as far as she could guess without knowing exactly where in Iraq they were.

Perched on the rock in the middle of nowhere at night, memories came rushing back to her. These were older than the others, flashes of the past nine years. One in particular stuck out in her mind, the night Harm's F-14 had crashed into the ocean. He'd been attempting to get back for her wedding, an event she had known, even then, pained him. But he'd tried anyways, despite his own feelings. She'd realized then just how much she felt for him, but she'd never been able to tell him.

Her mind flashed to more recent events.

_Harm stumbled slightly as one of their captors slammed the butt of a rifle into his side. He didn't make a sound, just picked up the pace. He glanced over at the woman pacing next to him. Mac's eyes met his, reflecting a quiet fear as well as sheer determination. He tried to smile encouragingly, though it hurt the side of his face where he'd been punched._

_She smiled tightly back then glanced at his side in concern, her gaze meeting his once more in silent question. He shrugged slightly in answer, yeah, it hurt, but there wasn't a lot he could do about it. Their hands were tied behind their backs and they were being herded into a building. After stumbling across the unconscious Vukovic and the grinning insurgents they'd been tied up and placed into a truck. The ride had been about an hour long, but they had no idea where they had been taken, or even how fast the truck was going._

_Then the ride had stopped, their feet were untied and they were "escorted" out. Now it was Mac's turn to stumble, her ankles still smarting from the tight ropes. For her trouble she too received a rifle butt in the ribs. Wincing she regained her balance and entered the building. Harm looked at her in concern, his mouth opening to speak. He hadn't even been able to make a sound when he'd been punched across the face, one of the men yelling at him to be quiet in Farsi. Though he didn't recognize the language he picked up on the meaning._

_Vukovic was still unconscious and being carried a few feet in front of them. Weaving their way to the back of the building the duo watched as Vukovic was unceremoniously dumped into a small room. At the next one the men shoved Harm through the door. He stumbled, tried to catch himself, but without his hands free he failed and tumbled roughly to the floor, his head thumping solidly into the ground. "Harm!" the name was ripped from her throat in fear for him._

Mac shivered, trying to banish the thoughts from her mind. Now was not the time to think about their time in captivity, his time in captivity. Even she wasn't sure how many days had passed, she knew it wasn't many but her internal clock had been screwed up by the pain. She knew the time but couldn't seem to figure out the date. She shivered again, drawing her knees up to her chest and resting her cheek against them.

Vukovic noticed the second shiver and scooted closer to her, murmuring quietly, "Cold?"

Her head jerked up and she glared at him, promptly hopping off the rock and away from him. She inhaled sharply at the pain in her ankle and nearly crumpled. Vukovic jumped down next to her and grabbed her elbow. She glared at him and jerked from his grasp. Vukovic sighed in exasperation, "I'm just trying to help."

"You've helped enough," her voice was icy.

He shook his head and looked at her, clearly aggravated, "Are you sure you're alright, Mac?"

"I'm a marine, I'm fine," she bit out. Spinning on her heel she stalked off down the road, refusing to show him just how much it hurt to do so. She wasn't entirely sure why she was so pissed at his attempt to help her, but one thought stood out in her mind, _he's not Harm_. She sighed, knowing that was a lot of it. But there were other reasons too, she'd been able to tell from day one half of his mission in life seemed to be to try and seduce her. The other half, she'd decided, was to piss her off beyond all belief. Vukovic cursed silently to himself and jogged after her.


	6. Chapter 6

_Disclaimer: None of the JAG characters are mine, they belong to Donald Bellisario and CBS and whatnot._

_And another chapter! I dunno why, this story is a lot easier to write than some of my others, it keeps bouncing around in my head. Go figure. Thanks for all the reviews! I really appreciate them. And I can't really think of anything else to say so here's the chapter. Read, review, enjoy, and all that jazz.

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Six hours later Mac was ready to keel over with exhaustion. She knew her ankle was going to give out any minute though the pain in the rest of her body was so familiar now she barely noticed it. As before, she'd walked in silence, ignoring all of the lieutenant's attempts to engage her in conversation. This time he'd been more persistent, but finally had shut up after close to three hours. Mac was thankful, she'd was verging on killing him as it was, if he spoke another word she wouldn't be responsible for her actions.

The sun was beginning to rise, along with the temperature. As the landscape lightened Mac paused, peering ahead. She blinked, trying to clear her vision. Finally she spoke to Vukovic, "Please tell me those are actual buildings ahead and not my imagination."

Vukovic looked up; he'd been staring at the ground for the past hour, too tired to keep his head up. He blinked also, cocking his head to the side. Disbelieving he reached up and rubbed his eyes before looking again. Slowly he broke into a delighted grin, "Yes, Colonel, I do believe it is."

"Oh thank god," Mac breathed. She redoubled her walking efforts, ignoring her ankle's protest. Vukovic kept pace next to her, eyes fixed on the welcome buildings. They were nearing the buildings when they heard a shout. Mac pulled up short, her head coming up, eyes alert. She recognized that sound, it was distinctly a Marine command. She almost thought she even recognized the voice that went with it but dismissed that idea as simply wishful thinking brought on by exhaustion.

Vukovic looked at her like she was crazy for stopping. Mac briefly considered trying to move forward but now that she had stopped she was pretty positive she wouldn't be able to take another step without collapsing, and she refused to collapse in front of the lieutenant. So she stood calmly, waiting for the marines to appear. Vukovic obviously didn't agree with the decision and with a huff turned and continued into the village. Mac smirked slightly and continued to wait.

Sure enough she saw marines taking up positions in partial cover behind the nearest buildings. She knew there were weapons trained on her but right now she really didn't care. After a moment it appeared the marines had decided they weren't hostile and one approached slowly. Vukovic stopped and waited for him, now a good thirty feet or more from Mac. The marine paused at the lieutenant then his head shifted and he looked at Mac. Though he'd been about to speak to Vukovic he suddenly turned from the lieutenant and jogged over to her, face breaking into a delighted grin.

With an expression clearly indicating his annoyance at being so summarily dismissed Vukovic followed, glowering at the marine's back. For her part Mac also broke into a grin as the man neared, "Gunny!"

"Ma'am!" Gunny stopped in front of her, "We've been looking all over for you!" Then he frowned, taking in her appearance. Slowly he glanced around, looking at Vukovic then looking around again in puzzlement. Finally he looked back at Mac, "Ma'am, why are you wearing Commander Rabb's jacket? And where is he?"

Mac's breath caught in her throat at the question, tears threatening. Without thought she pulled the jacket closer, ignoring Vukovic's stunned look as he tried to figure out what was going on. Mac spoke quietly, "He's still a prisoner, Gunny."

Gunny stared at her in disbelief, "What? Ma'am?" He couldn't understand it; Colonel MacKenzie and Commander Rabb had been practically joined at the hip for years, why would she leave without him. For that matter, as a marine, why would she leave her partner?

Mac sensed his growing anger at her and sighed, shoving her hair back, "It wasn't by choice, Gunny." Suddenly she wobbled, her ankle abruptly giving way. Gunny grabbed her, slinging her arm around his shoulders. Rapidly he called over the radio for his men. A corporal ran up, slinging his M16 across his chest.

Gunny glanced at him, "Call in a medical helo, and then radio base camp and tell them we found Colonel MacKenzie and Lieutenant Vukovic." He glanced at Mac who was leaning heavily against him though she was currently glaring at Vukovic who had tried to step forward and support her other side. "Ma'am, are you alright?"

Vukovic snorted and muttered, "Yeah, like she'll answer that one."

Mac smiled gratefully at Gunny, "Not really."

Gunny nodded, "Ok, ma'am, let's get you inside so you can sit until the help gets here." Mac nodded wordlessly, allowing him to help him towards the nearest building while Vukovic gaped at their backs, surprised at her willingness all of a sudden to be helped. _And who the hell is this guy?_ he thought petulantly as he followed the slow moving pair.

Once inside Mac sank down gratefully into a chair. Gunny sat next to her, watching her anxiously. Both disregarded Vukovic as he followed them in and took a seat nearby. "What happened, ma'am? Why isn't the Commander with you?" Mac felt a flash of gratitude; at least Gunny cared about Harm even if their supposed coworker didn't. She sighed, leaning back into the chair then wincing as she managed to twist her ribs wrong. Gunny immediately leaned forward, his face awash with concern, "Ma'am? Are you ok?"

Mac sighed against and shook her head slightly, "It's my ribs, I think there's a few cracked." She paused for a moment then smiled reassuringly at Gunny, "I'll be fine, Gunny, I'm not going to break, I promise." Gunny nodded, apparently reassured as he sat back into his chair, waiting for her to answer his questions on her own time. Mac took a deep breath, fingering Harm's name tapes without realizing it as she spoke, "We were on shore doing some investigative work for a case. While we were with the marines the village we were in was attacked by insurgents. One escaped and the lieutenant here decided to run after him," she waved her hand at Vukovic who frowned.

Gunny glanced over at the lieutenant with a scowl, it was clear he'd already concluded that the young lawyer was the cause of all this. He knew neither Mac nor Harm would have ever done anything to get captured like that, at least not when they were with an entire squad of marines. Vukovic cringed slightly at the scowl then cursed himself for doing so. He opted instead to simply glare back at the gunnery sergeant, trying to look intimidating and failing miserably. Shaking his head slightly Gunny turned back to Mac, waiting for her to continue.

She spoke softly, obviously reliving the events as she described them, "I yelled after him. Harm heard me, told me we had to go stop him. I agreed and we ran after him, hoping to catch him before something else happened." She paused to take a deep breath, steadying herself. "We came around some rocks and found the lieutenant already unconscious, there were at least a dozen men, all with rifles pointed at us so we lowered our weapons. They loaded us into a truck and took us… somewhere."

Gunny frowned, he was pissed that this had happened. Mostly he was pissed that it had been this fool lieutenant's fault, Harm and Mac had simply been being the people he always knew them as. He smiled internally as a thought occurred to him, _and even rushing headlong into danger they were still joined at the hip_. But he didn't speak out loud; he knew Mac would kick his ass if he did so. He opted to say something else, trying to get Mac to continue speaking though he wasn't sure she would, "How'd you escape?"

A faint grin appeared on Mac's face, "My guard underestimated me." Gunny chuckled; yeah he could imagine they had. It reminded him of Paraguay in a way, the people there had underestimated her also, even Webb. Mac continued her story, "I tried to get Harm out but the lock was too rusty, I couldn't get it open." She closed her eyes, letting her head drop back against the wall. Her voice was soft, a mere thread of sound. Gunny had to strain to hear her and he knew Vukovic wouldn't stand a chance of doing so, "He told me to save Vukovic, so I did."

Gunny gazed at her compassionately, Vukovic simply looked wary; he hadn't been able to hear anything past her comment about the guard underestimating her. Mac dropped her head back down and opened her eyes, gazing at Gunny. He could see the distress lurking behind the marine façade. He figured he had to be one of the few people besides Harm who could see it, and he knew the only reason he could was because he'd experienced that same feeling himself in Paraguay. Quietly she murmured, lowering her head to her hands, her words intended for Gunny alone, "I tried to save him, Gunny, I tried."

Gunny nodded, awkwardly patting her on the back. He replied, his own voice just as soft, "I know, Colonel." Vukovic frowned at the two of them. He opened his mouth to demand to know just what was going on but was interrupted by the sound of an approaching helicopter. Mac lifted her head, looking questioningly at Gunny. He smiled and rose, "Should be the medical helo, ma'am."

Sure enough his radio crackled to life, informing him that the helo had arrived and was preparing to set down. Gunny held out a hand to help Mac up, which she accepted gratefully. Helping her to his feet he once again slid her arm around his shoulder, supporting her since her ankle couldn't. Gunny waved for Vukovic to exit first, not much caring about proper enlisted/officer proprieties, out here they were a formality that was often ignored if necessary.

Vukovic shot one more wary glance at the colonel before exiting the building, heading for the helicopter that was currently landing. Mac and Gunny followed at a much slower pace. Gunny looked over at her, "Ma'am, are you sure you'll be ok?"

Mac sighed then shook her head, "No, I won't be until we get Harm back."

"We'll keep looking for him, I promise."

Mac smiled sadly, "Thanks, Gunny."

"Anytime, ma'am, the commander's my friend too, after all."

Softly she answered, "I know." They'd reached the helo and Mac looked at Gunny one last time. "I'll be back as soon as I can to help find him, Gunny," her voice was firm with determination.

Gunny nodded and grinned slightly, "Hopefully we'll find him before then. But if we don't, we'll welcome your help, ma'am."

"Thanks for everything, Gunny." Mac leaned over and hugged him, after a brief moment of surprise he returned the hug. She smiled one last time then turned and grabbed the hand of the man waiting to help her inside. Gunny stepped back and watched the helo lift off, silently vowing to do everything he could to find the Commander and bring him back to her safely.

Mac sat on the opposite side of the helo from Vukovic for the duration of the flight. Though, even if she'd wanted to, the corpsmen wouldn't have let her sit any closer anyways. They were trying to keep room around both lawyers so they could check over injuries. One looked up at Mac after inspecting her ankle and frowned sympathetically, "I'm pretty sure it's broken, ma'am. Looks like it was strained but walking on it for so long did a lot of extra damage. But we won't know for sure until we can do some x-rays."

Mac nodded slightly, half awake, now that they were out of immediate danger the events of the past few days were catching up to her and she was exhausted. Quietly she murmured, the corpsman having to leave over to hear her, "Thank you, petty officer. How's the lieutenant?"

The petty officer grinned, "Better off than you, ma'am, no offense. Just a couple of cracked ribs and some bumps and bruises."

Mac nodded again, slowly drifting off to sleep. She'd only been asleep for a few minutes when she woke with a start. Blinking she found the corpsmen and Vukovic watching her in concern. She frowned and sighed, answering the unspoken questions curtly, "Nightmare."

The petty officer who'd been tending her smiled sympathetically, "I can give you some medicine when we arrive that should help you sleep, ma'am."

"I might take you up on that, petty officer," she smiled faintly. He nodded then lapsed back into silence, not wishing to bother the lieutenant colonel. Mac sighed softly and decided to stare out the window instead; it was infinitely preferable to nightmares. Fortunately the flight only lasted a short while longer. Glancing at Vukovic she realized that at some point he had fallen asleep, only he didn't seem bothered by bad dreams. Sighing, slightly envious she rose, grabbing the crutches the corpsman offered.

Stepping out of the helo she glanced around, noting that they had landed at an in country US base. Seeing a few marines walking around, she relaxed slightly, feeling more comfortable by the minute as she noted members of both the Air Force and Army present also. Moving a short distance from the helo she turned to watch Vukovic get out, the corpsmen hopping out after him. A voice spoke nearby and she whipped her head around, taking in the appearance of a young second lieutenant, "Ma'am? If you'll allow me I'll show you the way to medical."

Mac nodded in agreement, following as rapidly as her crutches would let her. Vukovic trailed along behind her, studying the base intently. The ensign stopped at the door to the medical building and opened the door for the two other officers. "They're expecting you both."

Mac glanced over at him with a slight smile, "Thank you lieutenant."

He nodded and saluted, "Colonel, Lieutenant." Mac returned the salute and watched in bemusement as the young man walked off. Shaking off her reverie as Vukovic cleared his throat she turned and entered the building, blinking as her eyes adjusted to the change in lighting.

Almost immediately a marine captain in medical uniform appeared at her elbow, "Lieutenant Colonel MacKenzie?"

Mac nodded, "Yes."

The woman smiled then looked over at Vukovic, "Lieutenant Vukovic?"

He glanced over at her, apparently vaguely surprised, "Yes?"

"Great. Lieutenant, if you'll go over and see the petty officer right over there," she pointed to a young man standing about twenty feet away by one of the beds. Vukovic nodded and headed over, still glancing periodically around the room. The captain looked at Mac again, "And Colonel if you'll come with me."

She turned and headed deeper into the room, Mac close on her heels. The exited the main room and entered a second, smaller, one. The captain turned and indicated that Mac should sit down on a nearby chair. "I'm Doctor Marks. Petty Officer Phillips informs me that your ankle is probably broken?"

"Yes."

"Ok, first we're going to start with an x-ray of the ankle and then one of your chest if that's ok?"

"That's fine."

Doctor Marks nodded then left to get a few things. Mac sighed and let her head fall back against the wall. _Yay, doctor's visit, what fun_, she thought. The doctor returned almost immediately, "Ok, let's get started."


	7. Chapter 7

_Disclaimer: None of the JAG characters are mine, they belong to Donald Bellisario and CBS and whatnot._

_Ok, finally found time to write some more. Well, more precisely, decided to write instead of doing automata homework 'cause for some reason this is much more fun than Turing Machines. :-P I can't possibly imagine why... Anywho, thanks so much for the reviews, I really appreciate it! Again, thanks to sithwitch for letting me ramble on about this even though she's quite possibly ready to kill me for it. ;) I'm thinking of switching the category of this story to Angst instead of Action 'cause well it's taking on a life of it's own and definitely going more down the angst road than anything else. Anywho, read, review and definitely enjoy!

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Harm woke up at the sound of the key in the lock. Not fully conscious he didn't think twice about trying to sit up. With a soft cry of pain he jerked to full awareness, the pain blazing through his body. Dimly he heard the door open and tried to turn his head to see, prying his working eye open slowly. He'd barely managed to shift his head an inch when a steel toed boot connected solidly with his ribs.

A yelp of pain forced its way past his lips and he was certain he'd felt another rib crack at the strike. He tried to move away from the second kick but only partially succeeded. At least this time, instead of hitting his ribs, it caught his shoulder, flipping him onto his back. Harm stared up at the man looming over him, trying to clear his sight. Slowly his vision solidified, the man turning into an actual person instead of an indistinct figure.

His tormenter was tall, Harm estimated him to be probably around his own height. But without standing up he couldn't be sure, and he didn't really want to trust his legs right now. The man was broad across the shoulders; Harm figured the other guy probably out weighed him by twenty pounds easy. Cocking his head slightly Harm squinted up at the guy with his one eye, trying to regain his officer's composure. The other man didn't really seem impressed, sneering at Harm's attempt to look confident.

Harm sighed softly, well this was going well. Briefly he thought of Mac, worried that she'd been recaptured. The other man growled; his voice rumbling up from deep in his chest, "Where are the other two?"

Harm felt relief wash over him, Mac was still free. He could only hope she'd found help. He had no delusions about his own freedom or safety, he had no idea where he was and he doubted any of the American forces did either. He momentarily wondered if Mac would be able to use her psychic abilities to find him, but dismissed the thought. Even if she could actually get it to work he wasn't going to hang his hopes on that chance. For that matter, he doubted it would do any good even if she could tell people where to go. By the time they got there his captors would probably have either killed him or moved on. _Well that's a cheerful thought, Hammer,_ came the dry thought.

Unfortunately he'd been so wrapped up in his thoughts he'd delayed answering too long. Not that he'd really planned to answer anyways. Another swift kick, this one to his stomach jarred him from his thoughts and back to his surroundings. He hissed in pain, clenching his stomach muscles instinctively, trying to curl up and move away from the man's feet. The kick was accompanied by another sharp demand, "Where are they!"

Harm glared up at the man as best he could; summoning every ounce of his varied training and naval discipline. He refused to give in without putting up the best fight he could, though he was under no impression that he'd be able to hold out forever. He could only hope he died before giving away anything that could harm his country. The man looked at him for a moment, a cruel smile curling his lips. Harm glowered, his face set into a mask of utter determination. Despite the black eye he actually managed to look vaguely intimidating. A movement in the shadows caught his eye and he noticed a man he hadn't seen before, edging backwards slightly. A grim smile appeared on his lips as he fixed his gaze on the man in the background.

This man was quite a bit younger than the other and still somewhat susceptible to the sheer strength of a prisoner's gaze. The first man glanced over his shoulder at the other, causing the younger man to suddenly stop moving, more afraid of his compatriot than of the wounded man on the floor. Harm tried to chuckle but it came out as a sharp hiss as his ribs made their pain known again. The first man glanced at him and with a sharp bark of laughter turned and left. The door closed with a heavy thud of finality, plunging the room into blackness. Harm closed his eyes in despair; he knew this was only the beginning.

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Mac sat curled up on the rack, her back pressed against the bulkhead. Sighing she gazed down at her right ankle, now set and in a cast. The doctor agreed that though it appeared the ankle had been sprained before it was definitely broken now after walking on it for close to nine hours. Mac grimaced, hugging her left knee as close to her as she dared. Her ribs were also bound up, three of them were cracked, four more bruised.

She still wore Harm's jacket despite various attempts to get her to relinquish it. She'd almost ripped the head off of the last petty officer who tried to tell her she should turn over the jacket. Her lips curved in a faint smile at the memory. She felt vaguely sorry for her reaction, but at the same time, didn't. She wasn't entirely sure why she continued to cling to the jacket. Oh, who was she kidding, she knew exactly why she was still wearing it even if she wouldn't admit it.

She only half realized that she had pressed herself into the corner, as far from the door as possible though she was still facing it. She felt somewhat better than she had a few hours before. After the doctor's appointment she'd been able to shower then her and Vukovic were both debriefed by the base commander. After that they'd both been flown out to the nearest carrier, which to Mac's amusement had turned out to be the _Seahawk_. She briefly pondered the irony of that particular carrier always seeming to be the one around but decided to just accept the blessing as she certainly felt more comfortable on this carrier than any other.

She blinked in mild confusion as there was a knock at the door. After a brief pause the knock sounded again, this time accompanied by a concerned voice, "Colonel?"

Mac shook herself and called out quietly, subconsciously edging herself further into the corner, "Enter."

The door opened slowly and Captain Ingles poked his head cautiously around the door, looking at her for a moment before opening the door wider and slipping inside. Mac watched him silently, feeling oddly distant from her surroundings. The skipper closed the door behind him then peered at her for a moment, brow furrowed slightly in concern. "Colonel MacKenzie?"

Mac focused on him, forcibly bringing herself back to the current situation. Suddenly she registered just who had entered and promptly attempted to stand up, wincing as she managed to pull her ribs. Ingles' eyes widened slightly and he waved her back down, "As you were, Colonel." He smiled faintly, "I just wanted to stop by and see how you were doing."

Mac returned the smile with a tiny one of her own though she personally didn't see much to smile about at the moment, "I've been better."

The Captain smiled wryly, nodding, "I can imagine." He hesitated for a moment then plunged forward, "Colonel Peterson told me what happened."

Mac closed her eyes for a moment, sighing softly. She wasn't really sure what to say and took a moment to gather her thoughts. Finally she opened them again and replied, still fairly subdued, "Yes, sir."

Captain Ingles cocked his head slightly, looking at her in concern. He'd never seen the Marine Colonel so passive; it just wasn't in her nature. Even when she'd been briefly stationed aboard the _Seahawk_ as JAG she'd always had a definite fire to her. Now she was just… quiet. It took him only a brief second more to realize that her current condition had everything to do with her missing partner. Mac was looking at him in growing concern and he realized he'd drifted for a moment. Smiling as reassuringly as he could he continued, "I agree with his assessment, you did everything you could, Colonel."

Mac replied softly, voice barely above a whisper, "I should've done more."

Ingles sighed; he should've known that was how she'd look at it. "Colonel… Mac," she blinked at him when he used her nickname. Smiling briefly he chose not to address the issue, "You did everything you could, it's not your fault."

Mac nodded slightly, outwardly accepting his words with a murmured, "Yes, sir."

Ingles knew she didn't really believe him but there wasn't much point in arguing with her about it. He paused for another moment, trying to figure out how to bring up the next topic. After a bit he decided to just plow forward, straightforwardness tended to be the best answer, especially when dealing with Colonel MacKenzie. "They're going to continue the search for Commander Rabb." Mac nodded slightly though she didn't speak. Ingles looked at her sympathetically, "I know you've requested to stay out here. Unfortunately, I have to agree with the doctors in this case. You're being sent back to the states and put on medical leave for the next two weeks."

Mac opened her mouth to protest, the first hint of emotion flashing across her face. The Captain held up a hand to forestall her, "I know you want to stay here, and I don't blame you. I promise we'll do our best to find Harm, and I promise I'll keep you posted. You'll know as soon as he's located, Colonel. It's the best I can do."

Mac thought about that for a second then sighed, nodding again, "Thank you, sir."

The skipper nodded slightly, "The COD will be here in a couple hours, you should get some rest. I'll send someone to get you when it's time."

Mac smiled slightly in appreciation then asked softly, "Could you possibly keep people from disturbing me until then, Captain?"

He narrowed his eyes slightly, he had a feeling he knew exactly why she made that request. After what the Colonel on the ground had told him he had every intention of keeping the JAG lieutenant from the colonel, he was quite clear on the fact that it was Vukovic's fault that both Rabb and MacKenzie were in their current states. Ingles didn't take too kindly to others messing with his people, and he considered both lawyers to be his people after everything they'd done for and on the _Seahawk_. He nodded, "Of course."

"Thank you, sir."

He half-smiled, "It's no problem, it's doctors orders after all." His eyes twinkled at her and she knew that he'd figured out exactly who she was avoiding. She smiled back, a silent thank you for his help. With a final nod Ingles left the room. Mac could hear him murmuring quietly to someone outside then it was quiet. She'd been vaguely surprised that he hadn't mentioned the jacket, but then she knew the Captain was a perceptive man and had probably long since figured out how close she was to the Commander. He also wasn't the type to make a big deal out of something that didn't merit the attention. _Thankfully,_ she sighed to herself mentally.

Now if she could just avoid Vukovic her life would be infinitely better, though she doubted that would happen once she left the room. Wrapping the jacket tighter she slid down on the rack, curling up against the wall, determined to get at least a little bit of sleep before she had to leave for the states.


	8. Chapter 8

_Disclaimer: None of the JAG characters are mine, they belong to Donald Bellisario and CBS and whatnot._

_Ok, next chapter. I apologize for the shortness, trying to gather my thoughts for exactly how I want stuff to proceed without making it either too annoying or too implausible so bear with me. Worked on this in class today so I apologize for any weird misspellings, hopefully I managed to avoid inserting random computer terms. :-P Thanks for the reviews! So read, review, and enjoy this chapter (despite it's shortness). :-)

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**USS _Seahawk_**

**1300 ZULU**

Mac was already awake and curled up once more on the bunk when there was a soft tapping at the door. A voice called through tentatively; clearly a young enlisted man who wasn't quite sure was to do. "Colonel? Ma'am?"

Mac smiled to herself as she grabbed her crutches, rising slowly to her feet, calling out as she did so, "Enter."

The young man opened the door fraction and poked his head in, somewhat intimidated by actually having to address such a senior officer, "Ma'am, the COD is about to land."

"Thank you," Mac smiled warmly at him. He blinked, nodded once, then vanished. She chuckled softly to herself. Glancing around out of habit she muttered irritably to herself when she realized none of her belongings were on board for her to worry about leaving behind. Shaking her head slightly she moved to the door, awkwardly tugging it open far enough for her to get through with the crutches.

Cursing the awkward items every step of the way she finally managed to make it to the deck. Vukovic was already waiting, watching as the COD was prepped to take off again. Captain Ingles was also standing on the deck. He flashed a smile at her when he noticed her appearance and strode over. He leaned over and yelled over the sound of the plane, "Your belongings have already been shipped back to the States! You'll take a military transport from in country back home!"

Mac nodded and returned the smile, "Thank you, sir!"

Ingles held out his hand, Mac shook it firmly. As he did so he leaned in closer so only she could hear, "I'll keep you updated about Harm, Mac. Don't worry, we'll find him."

As he straightened Mac met his eyes and nodded resolutely, "Thank you, sir. I really appreciate it." Ingles nodded in return then stepped back to allow her to head for the COD. Vukovic had already boarded and was watching her impatiently from inside the plane. Mac sighed and squared her shoulders as best she could before hobbling quickly to the waiting plane. A young lieutenant offered her a hand up, helping her settle into a seat next to her "partner". She briefly considered requesting to move to a different seat but decided it wasn't worth the trouble. That and she didn't particularly want give the appearance of whining.

Fortunately the plane took off shortly thereafter, preventing Vukovic from trying to speak to her. Unfortunately, once in the air he promptly decided they needed to have a conversation. Sighing Mac shifted the ear protection over so she could hear his question, knowing he wouldn't give up until she did so. "When did you get the Commander's jacket?"

Mac blinked and stared at him for a moment, unable to comprehend that he'd really asked such a stupid question. She'd figured he would eventually ask about the jacket, hell everyone else but Captain Ingles had. She hadn't figured he would be dense enough to not figure out when and where she'd grabbed it. Apparently he figured it out fairly quickly since he glanced away almost immediately, clearing his throat. Mac rolled her eyes and waited for him to continue.

She didn't have to wait long. He only waited a second longer before speaking again, "Stupid question. Better question. Why are you wearing the Commander's jacket?"

Mac refrained from rolling her eyes again as she answered, "Why does it matter?"

Vukovic shrugged uncomfortably, he didn't really have a good answer for that. At least not one he was willing to voice as he was positive Mac would kick his ass for implying a relationship between herself and Rabb. Hell, he wasn't entirely positive there was one, though he suspected. He'd only seen them together during this recent mission and he had to admit they acted professionally even if they were rather more comfortable with each other than he'd realized. Sighing he replied, seeing Mac was still waiting for an answer, "Just curious."

"Well don't be," she looked forward again, reaching to replace the ear protection.

Vukovic spoke again and she sighed resignedly, "Why not?"

Mac glanced over again, pinning him with a practiced glare, "Because it's nothing that needs to concern you, _lieutenant_." Resolutely she replaced the ear piece and settled into her seat, pointedly ignoring him. He huffed in annoyance, replacing his own ear piece. He hadn't missed the stress on his rank. The fact that simply the way she said his rank could irritate him simply annoyed him even more. He muttered to himself then turned to look out the window. Maybe once they were back in the states he could actually get her to speak to him civilly again if not in a friendly manner.

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**JAG Headquarters**

**1400 ZULU**

General Cresswell permitted himself a small smile as he glanced into the bullpen. As before the entire staff had shown up well before it was strictly necessary though he'd managed to beat most of them this morning. He'd been on the phone for over an hour already, talking to first Colonel Peterson in country then Captain Ingles of the _Seahawk_. He'd been alternately happy at the location of his officers and furious at the report that was given. He took it as almost a personal insult that people dared to first capture then torture them. And he hadn't missed the implications of guilt though he opted to wait until they were both back on duty before pressing the issue. Cresswell wanted to talk to Colonel MacKenzie in person first.

Glad that he had some good news Cresswell stepped out of his office and into the bullpen. He half heard someone call out, "Attention on deck!"

"As you were." Cresswell gazed around the room, taking in the anxious faces. Yes, the office was sometimes an asylum, but it was a close knit asylum. After a moment he spoke again, "Colonel MacKenzie and Lieutenant Vukovic have been located. They are on their way back to the States as we speak."

The sense of relief in the room was palpable. Briefly there was an excited babble which subsided just as quickly when Jen spoke up, "What about Commander Rabb, sir?"

Cresswell sighed and glanced down for a moment before he looked up and met the worried gaze of the room. He shook his head slightly, "Commander Rabb is not with them."

There was a collective gasp then dead silence in the bullpen. Bud asked quietly, his voice carrying easily through the room, "Why not, sir?"

Cresswell pondered briefly how to phrase his answer then replied as calmly as he could manage, "According to the brief report I have received, the Commander was unable to be freed." He held up a hand, instantly silencing the angry murmurs that had begun. "We can't jump to any conclusions; however, from what I have been told Colonel MacKenzie tried her best to free him. It was apparently his own choice to be left behind so that the Colonel and Lieutenant could get away."

There was another period of complete silence at his words as everyone pondered this. Apparently they seemed to reach the same conclusion as the murmurs that slowly began weren't as angry. Cresswell let out a quiet breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He'd been afraid they would blame the Colonel for not getting the Commander out and everything he'd heard indicated that the opposite was true. Hell, she'd apparently asked both Colonel Peterson and Captain Ingles for permission to immediately join the marines searching for Rabb. Cresswell was proud of that, she was a true marine even if she'd been overruled on both counts and was being sent home anyways.

After the murmurs subsided once more Sturgis stepped forward, asking the question everyone wanted to know, "When will they get here?"

"They left only Iraq only a few minutes ago, they won't be back in the States until some time tonight."

"Do we have an estimate on that time, sir?"

Cresswell shook his head, "Not really, we should have one by the end of the day. It will all depend on whether they get delayed anywhere along the way. I have been assured, however, that they will be home by tomorrow. Then they are both going straight to Bethesda."

Sturgis noticed Bud's expression grow even more concerned and quickly asked, "Bethesda, sir?"

"Both have various injuries. Though they've been checked out by doctors over there we still want them to report temporarily to Bethesda to be sure. As such, Lieutenant Vukovic will be on medical leave for one week, Colonel MacKenzie for at least two."

Bud sighed a soft sigh of relief, at least it sounded like they were in one piece. Sturgis glanced over and nodded reassuringly. He'd seen Mac and Harm's reactions to Bud's injury; he'd hate to see his buddy's reaction if Mac had been hurt that badly. Fortunately it sounded like she wasn't. _Though I think I'd be willing to put up with his reaction if it meant he was coming home too_, Sturgis thought.

Cresswell glanced around then suddenly barked, "Ok, back to work people!" He smiled in amusement to himself as everyone suddenly jumped to do their jobs. With a final glance he turned back to his office, he had some paperwork to do as a result of this mess.


	9. Chapter 9

_Disclaimer: None of the JAG characters are mine, they belong to Donald Bellisario and CBS and whatnot._

_Yay, more story. Again, thanks so much for the reviews:-D About rescuing Harm, theoretically in a few more chapters, I want to deal with people's reactions and Vukovic a bit first. But rest assured, he will eventually be saved, if a little worse for wear. As for what Cresswell thinks of Vukovic... wait and see. (evil grin then whistles innocently) Anyways, enough of that. Thanks again for reading! Enjoy!

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**Bethesda**

**0330 ZULU**

Mac leaned against the counter, carefully balanced with one crutch as she filled out the various paperwork required for discharge. Absently she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, expression carefully blank as she gazed at the papers. She reached the emergency contact section and hesitated. Normally she'd have filled out Harm's information but suddenly that wasn't an option and she didn't know what to do. Finally she sighed softly and wrote down Admiral Chegwidden's, figuring he was probably the best idea.

Out of the corner of her eye she could see Lieutenant Vukovic also filling out papers though she ignored him. She saw him finish and glance over at her, clearly about to ask if she needed a ride home. Unfortunately, her car was still at her apartment and she did actually need the ride. _On second thought, I'd rather shoot myself that let him take me home, maybe I'll just call a cab,_ she decided. Taking a deep breath she braced herself for the coming question. But just as he opened his mouth to speak she heard a completely different voice ring out, "Colonel!"

Mac looked up curiously, glancing around. Then she spotted the owner of the voice and broke into a grin, "Bud!" She spied the commander's wife exiting the elevator behind him, "Harriet!" Vaguely she registered Vukovic's irritation at being interrupted but he plastered on a fake smile as he turned to look at the approaching officers.

Bud and Harriet paused, nodding briefly to the lieutenant though Mac noticed their greeting was somewhat less than enthusiastic, "Lieutenant."

"Commander," Vukovic smiled, seemingly oblivious to the cold reception. Turning his attention to Harriet he arched an eyebrow in confusion, glancing at Mac as if to ask her to explain.

Mac simply glanced at Bud, a faint smile hovering on her lips. Bud took Harriet's hand and casually introduced her, "Lieutenant Vukovic, this is my wife, Lieutenant Roberts."

Vukovic flashed a grin that Mac supposed was meant to be charming, "Pleasure to meet you, Lieutenant."

Harriet nodded and smiled in return though Mac noticed it was somewhat more restrained than usual. She frowned slightly and cocked her head, arching an eyebrow slightly at Harriet when the younger woman redirected her gaze towards the Colonel. Harriet simply smiled brighter, this time fully ecstatic, "Ma'am, it's so good to see you!"

Mac laughed softly, reaching out with the arm not holding a crutch to hug Harriet. "It's good to see you too, Harriet. What are you two doing here, where are the kids?"

Bud grinned, stepping up to give Mac a gentle hug also as he answered, "The kids are in bed, Mike's watching them so we could come meet you."

Mac smiled as she glanced from one to the other, "Well I appreciate you coming. What's the General have to say about all this?"

Bud glanced down at his wife then back at Mac, grinning, "You can ask him yourself in a moment. He, Commander Turner, and Admiral Chegwidden should be on their way up by now."

Mac blinked in surprise. After a moment she found her voice, "The Admiral is here?"

Vukovic spoke up, looking completely confused, "Admiral Chegwidden?"

Mac glanced over but Bud beat her to the answer, "Admiral Chegwidden was the JAG for over eight years." He looked back at Mac, "And yes, he's here, said he wanted to see for himself that you were still in one piece."

Vukovic's eyes widened in shock. He couldn't fathom why the Colonel's former CO would come out here to meet her at the hospital. He studied the small group in front of him curiously; Mac was talking quietly with Harriet about the kids, while Bud looked on, periodically shooting a glance at the elevator. Vukovic followed his gaze and automatically straightened as the doors opened and a distinguished, older man exited followed closely by General Cresswell and Commander Turner. Though all were in civilian clothes he couldn't help but come to attention, hoping to make a good impression.

"Well, Colonel, I see you managed to get yourself home in one piece again."

Mac glanced up sharply then automatically came to attention as best she could though her face broke into a huge grin, "Yes, sir."

Chegwidden half grinned, "Relax, Mac, we're not in uniform. And I'm retired, call me AJ."

Mac relaxed against the counter, still grinning, "Yes, sir." She looked over at the other two newcomers, "General, Commander."

General Cresswell and Sturgis both smiled, Cresswell nodding an acknowledgement, "Good to see you both alive and well."

Chegwidden merely rolled his eyes at Mac's insistence on calling him sir before stepping over and hugging her lightly. As he held her he murmured softly, "You holding up ok, Mac?"

She shook her head slightly against his shoulder, "I've definitely been better, AJ."

He released her and stepped back, looking down in concern. She smiled slightly at him, though her eyes hinted at the depths of emotional pain buried inside. AJ cocked his head slightly as he took in the crutch and cast, "How badly are you hurt?"

She shrugged slightly, "I've been worse." He pinned her with a glare, clearly expecting a more informative answer. With a sigh she elaborated, "Broken ankle, three cracked ribs, four bruised, gunshot graze and various bumps, bruises, and scrapes." At the look on AJ's face she stated calmly, "I'll be fine, sir."

Cresswell looked over at Vukovic, "And you, lieutenant?"

"Oh, uh… just a cracked rib, few bruised and some scratches." He was eyeing Mac, clearly having had no prior knowledge of how extensive her wounds were. He missed the looks everyone else shot him, all wondering just how come he'd gotten off so lightly in comparison.

Breaking the sudden lull in conversation Sturgis stepped forward, "Mac, good to see you well."

Mac gazed back at him, clearly searching for something. Apparently finding it she smiled slightly and nodded, "Thanks, Sturgis."

He looked at her hesitantly before asking wryly, "Permission to hug the Colonel?"

Everyone chuckled though the Admiral glanced speculatively at Sturgis. When he'd left the pair had been fairly good friends and now it was obvious something had changed. Mac just grinned and held out her arm, "Of course." Softly she whispered in his ear, "I'm sorry I couldn't get Harm out, Sturgis."

He pulled back and looked down at her with a sad smile, "I know you tried your best, Mac. We'll get him back." She nodded slightly, inwardly relieved that he didn't appear to blame her. Of all her friends she'd feared Sturgis' reaction the worst. Though he and Harm, as well as he and her, had been having a rough time recently, she knew he still cared about his old friend. Just as she knew that Harm still cared for him, even if the two of them were having issues with each other at the moment.

Sturgis stepped back then looked over at Vukovic, holding out a hand, "Good to see you in one piece as well, Lieutenant." Vukovic smiled slightly and shook Sturgis' hand firmly.

Chegwidden glanced over, appearing puzzled, "Who are you?"

"Lieutenant Gregory Vukovic, sir."

"Oh," AJ frowned slightly. He glanced at Mac and noticed her expression; he looked at her curiously only to be met with a slight smile.

"Admiral, I had to list someone as my emergency contact," she hesitated slightly.

He didn't let her finish, simply declaring, "Put me down, Mac."

She smiled wryly and nodded, "Already did, sir."

"Good. Well, I imagine you need a ride home then, right?"

"Yes, sir." He arched an eyebrow at her. She chuckled softly, smiling unrepentantly.

With a mock disgusted look he chose to ignore her response, "Well hurry up then, it's getting late."

Bud, Harriet, and Sturgis exchanged looks, grinning in amusement at the conversation. Cresswell also seemed entertained though Vukovic merely looked puzzled. Mac nodded, grabbing her other crutch, "I'm done, sir. Just need to grab my bag."

"I've got it," Chegwidden bent over and swiftly grabbed Mac's sea bag. She opened her mouth to protest and he pinned her with a glare, "What? Think because I'm retired I can't handle it, Colonel?"

Mac suppressed a smile, "No, sir."

"Good." He glared for a moment longer then looked over at Cresswell. "Do you need her for anything else, General?"

Cresswell shook his head, "No, sir." He looked at Mac, "You're on medical leave for two weeks, Colonel. At that time the decision will be made as to whether to return you to duty or give you more leave."

Mac nodded, "Yes, sir. Thank you, sir."

He waved off her thanks, "Just get well, Colonel."

She nodded again. With a final round of hugs she shook Vukovic's hand then turned and limped off after the Admiral. Bud and Harriet watched the pair leave then turned to the General, "We should be leaving also, sir."

"Of course, I'll see you in the office tomorrow." They both shook his hand then headed for the elevator. Sturgis also took his leave, joining the Roberts in heading home. Cresswell looked over at Vukovic, "Looks like it's just you and me, lieutenant."

"Yes, sir."

"You're also on medical leave for one week. After that you'll be assessed for limited duty."

Vukovic nodded slightly, straightening, "Yes, sir."

Cresswell nodded briefly, "Do you have a way home, lieutenant?"

"Yes, sir, I've already called for a cab."

"Very good, have a good night." With that the general turned and left, leaving Vukovic standing by himself at the hospital desk. He sighed, smiled slightly at the nurse on duty and headed towards the elevators, intent on getting home and sleeping.

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"You sure you'll be ok on your own, Mac?"

Mac sighed, leaning against the doorframe with a half smile, "I'll be fine, sir. I promise." AJ eyed her for a moment as if trying to decide whether to believe her. Mac shook her head ruefully, "Honest, I've had worse."

Finally he relented, "I know. I swear, between you and Rabb…" he trailed off as he saw her face go blank. Though there was no outward expression of sorrow he knew he'd blundered by mentioning the commander's name. Mentally kicking himself he started to apologize, "Colonel, I…"

Mac smiled wanly and cut him off, "Don't worry about it, sir. Thanks for the ride, I think I'll go call Jen and Mattie then call it a night." She'd asked casually in the car why Jen hadn't been there also only to be told that Harm's former ward had come in town and that Jen's car wouldn't start. She'd promised AJ that she would call them though she'd been planning to anyways, knowing they both had to be worried sick about Harm.

Thinking about him caused her gut to clench with worry. It was so hard to come to grips with the reality that they were now on opposite sides of the globe. Only unlike other separations she had no idea where he was or even if he was alive. Briefly she wondered if this was how he'd felt when she'd gone missing in Paraguay. With a shudder she stopped that train of thought. She didn't want to think about Paraguay; too much had happened there, most of it bad.

Forcing another smile she thanked the admiral again and waited until he'd gotten on the elevator before closing the door. Throwing the bolt and locking the door she turned and leaned back against it, taking in the apartment. It was somehow surreal to realize that she was actually home again, in her own apartment and alive. After a moment she straightened and made her way to the couch, leaving her bag by the door where the admiral had set it. Snagging the phone she dropped carefully to the couch, wincing slightly as she jarred her ribs.

Dialing, she held the phone up to her ear, waiting patiently for an answer. She didn't have to wait long as the phone was picked up on the second ring, "Hello?"

"Jen? It's Mac."

"Colonel MacKenzie!" Mac winced slightly with a grin, pulling the phone away from her ear at the loud shout.

Almost immediately she heard another extension click on then Mattie's voice, "Mac!"

Still smiling she edged the phone back to her ear, "Hey Mattie."

"How are you?"

"Are you ok?" Both questions came immediately though from two different people.

Mac couldn't help but chuckle softly at their inability to wait until the other was done, "I'm… alive, a little beaten up but I'll be fine. How are you two holding up?"

There was a pause then Jen answered, "We're doing alright, ma'am."

Mattie interjected almost immediately, "Better now that one of you is home safe."

Mac closed her eyes briefly, the amusement fleeing. For an instant a vision of Harm swam before her eyes, cocky flyboy grin in place, aquamarine eyes glinting cheerfully. Taking a slow breath she forced herself to focus on the two girls at the other end of the line. "I'm sorry, guys… about Harm…" Her voice hitched and she couldn't continue for fear of bursting into tears.

After a brief silence Mattie spoke softly, "We know you did your best, Mac."

"That's right, ma'am. Everyone knows you wouldn't leave the Commander behind without doing everything you could to save him first," Jen added.

Mac smiled slightly, still fighting back tears, "Thanks guys. And Jen… call me Mac, please. We're not on duty, heck I'm on medical leave for the next two weeks."

Before Jen could respond Mattie jumped back in, "Two weeks? What happened?"

"Long story, suffice to say I'm not particularly fit for duty what with the crutches and taped ribs." She heard a pair of soft gasps over the phone and couldn't help but feel bad for concerning them. "I'll be fine, guys. I've had worse." She waited a second then continued, "Listen, I'm really tired from all this. How about you two come over for dinner tomorrow, we'll order pizza, ok?"

There was a pause and Mac could hear the two discussing the idea in low voices. She curled into the cushions of the couch and waited patiently, staring off into space. After a bit Mattie came back on, "That sounds good, Mac. 7:30 ok with you?"

Mac grinned, "Yeah, that's fine. I'll see you both then, now get some sleep."

"Aye aye, ma'am." She could hear the grin in both girls' voices as they answered.

With a laugh she hung up, dropping the phone back into the cradle. She sighed softly, gazing blankly at the wall for a long moment. Forcing herself to move she finally got off the couch. Limping over to the door she double checked that it was locked before heading for bed, hoping that somehow the situation would look better in the morning, though she wasn't really counting on it.


	10. Chapter 10

_Disclaimer: None of the JAG characters are mine, they belong to Donald Bellisario and CBS and whatnot._

_And more story, whee. So about rescuing Harm... I'd say soon, but soon is kind of a relative term, it depends on how long it takes me to cover the stuff I want to cover before he gets back since the stuff before hand sets up what happens afterwards. So yeah. Umm.. so I know I mentioned Cresswell's reaction but I'm thinking now that actually won't be seen until the chapter after next, but I promise it will happen! __Anyways, thanks so much for the reviews! I'm glad people are enjoying the story. :-D Read, review, and enjoy! And for the Aggies out there reading this: Thanks and gig'em! And about the puppy introduced in this chapter... yeah, he has no real purpose other than I like puppies and felt like including one. :-P

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**Two Days Later**

**Saturday**

**Mac's Apartment**

**1500 ZULU**

Mac looked around the apartment with a huff, muttering absently, "Ok, I'm bored." Admittedly she'd only been on medical leave for a single day but it gave her way too much time to think. Especially when all her friends were at the office and she was stuck puttering about with crutches and a cast. Well, all of her friends except the Admiral. But she hadn't felt right bothering him. Even if she had, she didn't particularly feel comfortable baring her soul to her former CO, even if he was more like a father most of the time.

Making a decision she grabbed her coat, slipping it on carefully. Pleased with herself for only jarring her ribs a little bit she grabbed her purse and half hobbled, half walked to the door. Taking one last glance around the apartment to ensure she hadn't left anything on that would result in the absence of an apartment building she slipped out, locking the door. Reaching the outside she glanced up and down the street. She couldn't drive but the park was in hobbling distance so she decided to head there.

It was a gorgeous day for a change, the snow having temporarily decided to stop attempting to bury the city. Making her way slowly down the street Mac idly glanced in store windows as she passed. Fortunately the sidewalks had been cleared of snow so she could navigate them safely. She heard a sharp yap from her left and paused, turning to look in the window of a pet store. The sound had come from a tiny husky puppy that had apparently gotten rather annoyed with his brothers and sisters and was making it known.

Mac stood for a moment, grinning as she watched the puppies play. As she watched the first puppy pounced on his brother and promptly head butted him away from one of the others. She laughed softly at the antics. Hearing her laugh the puppy glanced up at her, blue eyes brightly curious. She watched him for a moment and he watched her. Smiling, and shaking her head at herself she headed for the door. She wasn't quite sure why she'd decided to buy the puppy but somehow she just couldn't resist.

A short time later she was headed home, the little gray and white husky pouncing along at the end of his new leash. She'd called Jen and Mattie and they were now walking next to her, various items in tow. They had originally been planning on coming over later in the afternoon to keep Mac company, but while inside she'd decided to call and see if they wanted to do lunch. Hearing the noise in the background they'd asked where she was. Upon hearing the words "pet store" the two girls had immediately volunteered to meet her at the store and help with the purchases in exchange for getting to play with the new puppy.

Mattie chuckled as the puppy stopped briefly to tackle a leaf, "So Mac, what are you going to name him?"

Mac smiled softly, watching the puppy play, "Hammer."

Mattie blinked, gazing at Mac out of the corner of her eye though she didn't say anything. "Hammer?" Jen asked, "Isn't that…?"

"Harm's call sign," Mac nodded slightly. "Yeah, it is. It seems appropriate somehow though."

The trio watched as Hammer promptly batted at Mac's leg with a paw, clearly having decided he needed attention. Mattie grinned though her expression was tinged with sadness, "Yeah, it's a good name for him." She bent down and scooped him up as Mac was unable to do so, then laughed at Mac's irritated mutterings about crutches.

The rest of the walk back was completed in silence, the puppy periodically being carried and pouncing along by himself. He didn't seem entirely certain of what to do about the leash, alternating between ignoring it, tugging on it and trying to eat it. Eventually he seemed to resign himself to the fact that it wasn't coming off and found more interesting things to attract his attention. Reaching the apartment Mac fumbled with the keys a bit, between the puppy trying to eat her shoes and the crutches just plain being in the way it made getting to the door and then getting it open somewhat of a challenge.

Once the group managed to get inside and get everything put away she collapsed on the couch. Mac was seriously beginning to hate being injured; it shot her stamina completely to hell. Mattie and Jen took up places on the floor, watching Hammer as he romped around his new home. Jen glanced up at Mac, "He really is adorable, ma'am."

"Yes, he is. And I though we covered the 'ma'am' issue on the phone the other night," she grinned.

Jen laughed, absently ruffling the puppy's ears as he tried to nibble her finger, "Yes, ma'am… Mac." Mac and Mattie both chuckled at her while Jen just shrugged and grinned. "Hard habit to break."

"Understandable. So girls, it's 1145, what shall we do for lunch?"

Mattie glanced up from her game of tug-of-war with Hammer, "Chinese?"

Mac shrugged, "Sounds good to me, Jen?" Jen nodded in agreement then yelped as Hammer tried again to eat her fingers, this time a bit more in earnest. Mac chuckled, "Well, looks like he agrees too."

Mattie jumped up from the floor, "I'll call."

"Ok, phone book's on the counter." A few minutes later the order was placed and Mattie had resumed her place on the floor. Hammer had decided it was naptime and was curled up peacefully in Mac's lap while she petted him idly. "So Jen, what have I missed at JAG?"

Jen thought for a moment, "Nothing terribly major really. The annual JAG conference is coming up." Mac groaned at that, prompting laughs from both Jen and Mattie. "Other than that, mostly minor cases, though work did begin to pile up a bit this week."

Mac sighed, feeling guilty that she hadn't been there even though her head told her it wasn't her fault, "Yeah, being three people short will do that."

Jen frowned also, "It's not your fault."

Mac glanced at her then had to laugh, "You are way to perceptive, petty officer." Jen just grinned at her. "Unfortunately, things aren't really going to get better. You'll still be three people down for another week, then two down for another week after that." She refrained from mentioning that they would be short at least one senior lawyer for an unknown length of time. Though it wasn't put into words everyone was thinking it, however, the mood taking a definite turn for the somber.

After a short silence Mattie asked quietly, "What happened, Mac?"

She hadn't asked the previous night, and on the phone Mac had simply avoided it. This time she knew she couldn't completely avoid it, nor could she say everything. Mac was silent for a long moment, gazing blankly across the room as she gathered her thoughts. Both Mattie and Jen waited patiently, realizing that the other woman would speak in her own time and pushing her could cause a complete withdraw. Mac wasn't the most open of people under the best of circumstances and they were both afraid that she'd clam up completely given the current situation.

Finally she began to speak, voice low and sorrowful, "Harm was diverted out from Florida to help in an investigation. He was meant to sit second chair to me while the lieutenant served mainly as an assistant. We'd gone to shore to interview some marines stationed in a town. While we were there a group of insurgents attacked, I'm still not sure why. During the chaos the three of us became separated from the marines and came face to face with at least a dozen insurgents. Outnumbered, and with the lieutenant already unconscious by the time Harm and I arrived we didn't have much choice but to surrender."

She paused, taking a few moments to regain her equilibrium. She hadn't realized talking about it, even in the most general terms, would be so difficult. After a moment she continued, speaking even quieter, "They took us prisoner, drove us off to who knows where. Harm was their main focus; they figured he was in charge." She hesitated, fighting off the tears that threatened. "I wasn't really clear on time passage while we were there," she smiled briefly, "crazy, I know, given my sense of timing. But somehow I had no idea how much time passed, maybe it was the pain, I don't know. I was told later that it was only two days, it felt like so much longer."

She frowned, surprised at herself for talking about it so much. Normally she would have given a brief explanation and left it at that, never even hinting at any emotional reactions. Yet somehow she felt comfortable telling Mattie and Jen at least the basics, maybe she felt they deserved to know more than just the essentials. She wasn't sure and after a moment shrugged it off as unimportant, she'd analyze her feelings later.

Mattie and Jen were looking at her in concern, apparently she'd stopped talking for longer than she realized. Smiling slightly to reassure them she started speaking again, "Eventually they got a bit complacent with me, underestimating women seems to be a common theme. I managed to surprise the guard and knock him out. I took his gun and went to Harm's cell to free him." Mac closed her eyes briefly, she could remember the scene so vividly and it broke her heart. She forced the tears down once more, being willing to talk to people and crying in front of them were two completely different things. It hurt even more, though, to realize the one person she could cry in front of was the very person she would be crying over.

_How ironic_, she thought bitterly, sometimes she really despised the cosmic powers that be. Slowly she continued, her eyes directed towards the sleeping animal in her lap but she was a million miles away, "I couldn't get him free, the lock was too rusty. Come to think of it mine was too but my door was already open so I didn't notice. He was awake, he spoke to me… and then he told me to leave him and save the lieutenant. I argued with him, probably almost got us all killed doing so, but I argued with him nonetheless. But I couldn't free him and eventually did as he asked."

She swallowed hard, clamping down on the emotions that threatened to incapacitate her. "The lieutenant's lock was newer, not entirely sure why. But I was able to get it open. We managed to evade our captors and hide out until evening." Her voice dropped even lower. Her gaze was distant as she spoke. No longer even aware that she was speaking, Mac relived the events in her mind, "I watched as they loaded Harm into a truck and abandoned their outpost. We waited a couple hours then headed out, moving down the road in search of civilization. Finally at dawn we found it in the form of Gunnery Sergeant Galindez and a squad of marines. He and his men got us to base camp and the doctor. A few hours later we were on our way home."

There was complete silence after she finished the story. Mattie and Jen stared at her in shock; they knew there was a lot left unsaid but even what she had said scared them. Slowly the two exchanged worried looks, neither could understand how she held up so well considering what had happened. Jen had also noticed that Mac never referred to Lieutenant Vukovic by name, he was simply "the lieutenant" while Commander Rabb was always "Harm." It was an observation she filed away for further discussion with Mattie, sensing that Mac wouldn't be too open to questions about her choice of words.

All three jumped at the knock on the door. Mac's head shot up; momentarily disoriented. She'd been so lost in the memories she'd temporarily forgotten that she was indeed home and not still locked up in the middle of Iraq. The knock came again and all three rose, though Mac stood quite a bit slower than the others. Setting the now awake Hammer on the floor she grabbed her crutches, intending to answer the door. Mattie beat her to it, glancing through the peephole then opening the door to reveal the delivery man. Mac managed to hobble up behind the girl after a moment to pay for the food.

As they sat down at the table to eat Mac noticed both of them shooting her surreptitious glances. It continued for a short while before she finally stated in exasperation, "I'm not going to suddenly break, you two." Sheepishly they returned their attention to their food, prompting a chuckle from Mac. After a moment they joined in the laughter, realizing just how silly their behavior had been.

Finishing the meal Jen looked at the other two, "How about some ice cream?"

Mac grinned and shrugged, "Sounds great but I don't have any."

Jen smiled back, "I was actually figuring Mattie and I could run to the store and get some pints."

Mattie grinned, "That sounds great! Let's go! What kind do you want, Mac?"

Mac laughed, "Ok then, I'll take Hammer out for a bit while you're gone. Bring me something with chocolate." The girls nodded and were out the door almost immediately. Shaking her head and still chuckling in amusement Mac stood up, grabbing the leash and a single crutch. Fortunately Hammer didn't appear to want to play tag and she managed to snatch him rather quickly and snap the leash onto the collar. Smiling at the puppy she headed out the door, making sure to lock it behind her.

Outside she stood, carefully balancing on the single crutch. Watching the puppy bounce around in the grass she smiled sadly, praying that his namesake would make it home safe and sound. Briefly she felt a flash on anger that she was unable to go and actually search for the human Hammer but her brain told her she was in no shape to be of any assistance. "Yeah, tell that to my heart," she muttered irritably. Intellectually knowing something didn't make it any easier to accept.


	11. Chapter 11

_Disclaimer: None of the JAG characters are mine, they belong to Donald Bellisario and CBS and whatnot._

_Huzzah, found more time to write. Well, more specifically I conveniently ignored my homework for a while to write since it's quite a bit less stressful. Thanks for the reviews, guys! I'm glad you like the puppy, I'm rather fond of him too. :-D So anyways, read, review, enjoy and all that jazz!

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After a few more minutes Mac headed inside, Hammer happily bouncing along in front of her. She couldn't seem to shake the feeling of melancholy that had fell on her after her abbreviated story to Jen and Mattie. Though she'd put on a good face for them these minutes outside had let her sink back into her depressing thoughts. Sighing she shook her head slightly; she was going to go insane if she kept thinking like this. Riding up the elevator she stared moodily at the doors, wanting them to open and yet not. A small part of her wished she could just hide in the elevator forever or at least until Harm was home. Every hour she desperately wished it had all been just a horrible dream and she would wake up any minute. And then she'd remember it wasn't and reality would come crashing back in.

She was so lost in her thoughts she didn't even notice the man lurking outside her door until Hammer let out a loud bark at him. Her head jerked up as she focused on her surroundings. Mentally she cursed herself, _what the hell kind of marine am I!_ Her eyes scanned the area, almost immediately coming to rest on the figure. Frowning she relaxed slightly though she still watched him warily as she approached the door. Hammer had apparently taken an instant dislike to him, still growling and barking, doing his best to appear ferocious despite his size. Absently Mac spoke to him, "Hammer, hush." The puppy blinked up at her and subsided though he crowded closer to her legs.

Sighing she looked at the man, unlocking her door, "What are you doing here, Clay?"

Clayton Webb arched an eyebrow at her, glancing briefly down at the puppy. It was clear he didn't know quite what to make of the gray and white ball of fluff that had challenged him so ferociously, "Hammer?" He glanced back up at her, "Isn't that Harm's call sign?"

Mac nodded once, pushing the door open and entering the apartment, not caring whether he followed or the door slammed in his face. She sat down in a chair, bending over to unhook Hammer's leash. Hearing the door close she glanced up, scooping up the puppy and placing him in her lap. Clay had apparently opted for the come in option and was making his way to the couch. Mac watched him silently, slowly petting the puppy who was also watching Clay. When it became clear he wasn't going to speak Mac asked again, "What the hell are you doing here, Clay?"

He frowned slightly, "I came to see if you were ok of course, Sarah."

"I see. Well as you can see I'm fine," she stated blandly. While she showed no outward signs of hostility it was apparent she didn't particularly want him around. Hammer shifted under her hand and she consciously relaxed, not wanting to convey her aggravation to the dog. After his performance in the hall she wasn't quite sure what the puppy would do if she let him down, and honestly she preferred him near her. She felt closer to Harm with the puppy nearby, he was sort of like a security blanket and for once she didn't particularly mind relying on someone or something other than herself.

Clay shifted uncomfortably on the couch, looking everywhere but at Mac. She waited silently and finally he looked back at her, "I've been uh… waiting to talk to you most of the day. But you left before I could."

"And the reason you didn't come up after I got back?"

"Well then you had the girls with you and… him," he gestured vaguely to the puppy.

Mac arched an eyebrow, "So either you're afraid of two girls and a puppy, which I doubt, or you wanted to speak to me alone."

Clay nodded slightly, "Yes. I mean, yes to the second part, I wanted to talk to you alone."

Mac sighed, rubbing her temple with her free hand, wincing slightly as she stretched the healing gunshot graze a little. Lowering her hand she fixed Clay with a level gaze, "Why do you need to speak to me in private, Clay?"

He looked slightly unsure, glancing away again. After a moment he rose and began to pace, ruffling his hair. Mac and Hammer watched him walk, Mac with amusement and frustration, the puppy with curiosity. Clay shot a glance at her then looked away again, studying the floor in front of him as he paced. Finally he spoke hesitantly, "I wanted to talk about us."

Mac blinked, vaguely surprised though she realized she probably shouldn't have been. When they'd broken up she'd known Clay still wanted to be with her. But he hadn't said anything to her since so she'd dared to hope he'd gotten over it or just decided to let things be. Obviously she was wrong. Letting out her breath slowly she stated coolly, "There is no us, Clay, you know that."

He stopped pacing and raised his head to look at her. She almost felt sorry for him, he looked so sad. Yet she couldn't quite bring herself really feel sorry for him. After their last encounter she'd done a bit of thinking about what he'd said and came to the realization that while Clay might actually care about her in his own way, much of it stemmed from his perception that "she was strong and didn't need much." _Definitely not the way to get a girl to forgive you_, she thought wryly. Arching an eyebrow at him she waited for his response.

After a short while longer he sighed, trying again, "There isn't, but there was once. There could be again, Sarah."

Mac immediately shook her head. Though she wasn't sure Harm returned her feelings, _should've hung around two seconds longer, marine_, she was clear on her own. As such she couldn't really concede to dating Webb again. Hell, she wasn't entirely positive why she'd started dating him in the first place. At least some of the reason was to hurt Harm, _yeah, brilliant idea that_. Annoyed she tried to silence the little sarcastic voice though she didn't quite succeed. Either way, she wasn't going to do something idiotic like get another boyfriend, especially not one she knew for a fact would end up lying to her and probably pretend to be dead again.

Webb frowned, trying a different tack, "You said you loved me. Did your feelings really change that quickly?"

Mac sighed, rubbing her temple again; yeah, this conversation was going just great. She answered as calmly as possible, "Look, Clay, the answer is not going to change. There is no us, there never will be."

He eyed her shrewdly, "You didn't answer the question."

Mac gazed at him steadily, "Do you really want me to?"

Clay took a step forward, feeling confident that he'd found a chink in her argument. He felt sure that the answer was no, after all why would she avoid it if she could say she didn't love him? "Answer the question, Sarah."

Mac looked him directly in the eye, "No, my feelings didn't change that quickly. They didn't need to. I don't love you, Clay, I never really did."

A triumphant grin had begun to spread across his face at her words. He knew it; she loved him, now they could move forward. _Wait, what?_ he replayed the rest of her words. The grin slipped, turning into a look of confusion. "What did you just say?"

Mac sighed, still gazing at him directly. Her eyes were calm, reflecting complete confidence and truth in what she was saying, "I don't love you. I never did."

His jaw dropped slightly, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. His mind raced, trying to figure out just where he'd lost control of this conversation. He'd been so sure he would get the answer he wanted, positive she was avoiding it because she was avoiding her feelings for him. Then it hit him, his eyes narrowed, "You're in love with him."

Mac blinked, confused at the sudden change of topic, "What?"

"Harmon Rabb, you're in love with him."

Mac arched an eyebrow. Slowly she set Hammer on the floor then stood carefully, "I think it's time you left, Clay."

"Answer me."

She shook her head, "It's none of your business. Now please, leave."

"Why, Sarah?"

She sighed, getting more frustrated by the second, "Why what, Clay?"

"Why him and not me?"

She shrugged, stating simply, "He's Harm. Now please, get out of my apartment."

Clay stared at her, slightly shocked. He had no idea how to react. Harm was Mr. Oblivious, well admittedly he'd given up his entire career and nearly his life to come after her but that was beside the point. He couldn't quite fathom it. Mac had just opened her mouth to once more insist he leave when there was a knock. Silently giving thanks she grabbed her crutch and hobbled to the door, pulling open quickly. Mattie and Jen were waiting on the other side, bags of ice cream in hand. Mac grinned and moved out of the way.

The two girls entered then froze. Looking from Mac to Clay then back both girls looked confused. Finally Jen spoke, "Are we interrupting something?"

"Yes," Clay said.

"No," Mac overrode him, shooting the CIA agent a glare. "Mr. Webb was just leaving."

Clay stared at her, stunned that she really was insisting he leave. He started, "Sarah…"

"No, Clay. Now leave."

Shooting her a last look he finally left. Just outside the door he turned, planning on pleading one last time only to find the door closing in his face. With a sigh he turned and left the building. He knew Mac was on medical leave for two weeks, he'd come by and try again when they wouldn't be interrupted.

Inside the apartment Mac let out a sigh of relief, leaning her forehead briefly against the door. The cold nose of Hammer against her leg made her straighten and smile down at the puppy, crouching briefly to ruffle his ears. Glancing up at Jen and Mattie she frowned. The two girls were still standing in place, looking vaguely betrayed. Mac asked cautiously, confused, "What's wrong?"

Jen didn't speak, clearly hesitant about voicing what was bothering her to Mac, even if they were off duty. Mattie, however, had no such compunctions, "I thought you and Clay were over?"

Mac rocked back on her heels then hissed at the sudden pain in her ankle. Straightening slowly she took the weight off her ankle as best she could, still wincing in pain. She made her way to the couch as she spoke, her voice a bit strained, "We are." Settling on the couch in relief she glanced back at the girls. Jen looked slightly reassured but Mattie didn't. Mac sighed in frustration, "We are, I swear. Which is of course exactly why he was here."

The look of betrayal was replaced by one of confusion, "Huh?"

Mac smiled faintly, "I think me almost getting killed made Clay decide he wanted me back. That's why he was here, to ask me back." She shrugged, "I told him no. I'd already asked him to leave three times when you two showed up. Apparently the third time wasn't the charm in this case." She grimaced, wishing he hadn't ever shown up. Seeing him and hearing him talk about Harm had just made Harm's absence hurt even more. _And yet again, who do you run to when the one you run to is the reason you need to run to someone?_ she wondered. _Ironic isn't it?_ "Argh, go away," Mac muttered, not realizing she'd spoken out loud. The voice of reason in her head was really starting to annoy her.

Mattie and Jen, who had finally begun to relax at her explanation tensed up again, looking hurt. Mac glanced at them and cocked her head curiously. It took her a second to figure out what had happened. Groaning, she flopped her head back against the couch, "Did I say that out loud?"

They both nodded and Jen said tentatively, "Yes."

Mac pressed the heel of her hand to her forehead, "Sorry, I didn't mean you. I was talking to the little voice in my head that's trying to drive me insane." They relaxed again and made their way to the couch and chairs, flopping down unceremoniously with smiles. Both were comforted by the fact that the one person they'd felt they could count on to relate to about Harm was not doing what, in their minds, constituted complete betrayal of him. It also helped that she wasn't trying to kick them out.

Jen commented with a grin, "I know how that can be. And the voice is somehow always right, just makes it worse."

Mac laughed, lifting her head again and straightening slightly, "Yeah, it does. So anyways, ice cream?" Mattie grinned and handed her a pint. "Excellent."

* * *

**Same time**

**Unknown location, Iraq**

"Commander Rabb!" the deep voice was back, only this time it was bellowing at him. "Commander Rabb!" Was that his name? He couldn't quite be sure, he was fairly positive Commander wasn't an actual name though. Or was it? Maybe he just had an odd name? Maybe his parents had found it somewhere and really liked it. Parents? Wait, who were his parents again? Did he have parents? He couldn't remember, the pain overwhelmed him fragmenting his mind and scattering his thoughts.

He felt an impact to his ribs and grunted, trying vainly to move away. The impact came again, this time hitting on an already bruised rib. The pain shot through him and his eyes flew open. He could feel the rib crack under the impact; soon it would join the legion of already broken ones. He struggled to focus, dimly making out the shape of someone looming above him. _Who the hell…?_ he tried to figure out who it was but it eyes wouldn't cooperate.

At least now he could open them both, he dimly registered that it wasn't too long ago when he could only get one open. Or was that a year ago? Ten years? His sense of time was completely skewed. He had no idea how long he'd been here, sometimes it seemed like minutes, other times it felt like decades. Slowly the man above him came into focus. _Ah yes, Darth Vader_, he thought. He'd given the few people that came to "see" him nicknames in his head, sometimes it was the only thing that kept him mostly sane. This was the first one, the guy who was tall and huge with a voice that sounded like it was coming from somewhere beneath his feet.

Behind him he could barely make out the form of another guy. Blinking he focused, eventually able to make out enough features to recognize him, _Oh, its Oliver_. The first day he'd seen the guy it was obvious he wanted to be tough like the others but pretty much failed miserably. It'd reminded him of this cat in some movie Mattie had made him watch once though for the life of him he couldn't remember the name. The man he'd dubbed Vader spoke again, "Now that you're paying attention… let's try this again."

Harm closed his eyes, knowing what was coming and steeling himself. He wouldn't answer any questions, it was against his training. Though, he couldn't quite remember exactly which training that was. Maybe it had something to do with the name "Commander"? Another swift kick came, this time to his stomach. _Fuck!_ he screamed mentally, automatically trying to curl into a ball. He would've cried out verbally but he couldn't get the breath. Instead he lay on his side, panting, struggling to get through the pain. But the new kick had been too much, the pain roiled through him and he screwed his eyes closed tightly. He struggled to stay conscious, knowing it would be worse for him later if he didn't but knowing he was going to lose the fight. _Mac's gonna kill me,_ was his last coherent thought, the face of his partner briefly swimming before his eyes as he slipped into unconsciousness.


	12. Chapter 12

_Disclaimer: None of the JAG characters are mine, they belong to Donald Bellisario and CBS and whatnot._

_ So I apologize for the lack of updates this weekend and the end of last week, real life kinda stepped in. Well real life and Star Wars (yay Revenge of the Sith!). As a result here's an update and I'm hoping to get another written and posted later tonight before I sleep (after all what else am I supposed to do at meetings? pay attention:-P) Also, I was thinking about some stuff while I cleaned my room (you find all sorts of weird things when you finally get stuff off the floor I discovered) and decided I should start doing a bit more than just spout out a generic "thanks for reviewing" so here goes:_

_ Thanks to Stevie, Laurie2, chantelmac, MichelleLee, Beach chickJASSNL, BelleDayNight, Radiorox, Apion, snugglebug, Sunset, cbw, TomcatGM, freazeover, froggy0139, s-schmidig, SailorGirl97, hardluckmarine, starryeyes10, jaggurl, jaka, marineJAG, Tina Frank, mjag, zielfanaat, LiseGirardi, KMSOrligirl, martini1988, mara-rabb, Fic-Chic, princessmai, and anyone else I missed (hopefully I didn't miss any)! Also, based on the more recent reviews I seem to need to clear a few things up. First of all, trust me, I'm not going to kill him (my roomie's the nutcase who kills off characters :-P). Second, he doesn't have amnesia, more like he's blocked out most of his memories to protect himself as well as the pain from his broken ribs kinda messing up his thought processes (which is not to say he won't have issues with some of it later). Sorry if that was unclear, I'll explain it better in the next chapter of the story, I promise! So, on with the story! Read, review, and above all enjoy!

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_

**Monday**

**Mac's Apartment**

**1100 ZULU**

Mac woke with a start, eyes flying open. Her heart was pounding and she could feel the goose bumps across her body. Rapidly she scanned the room, struggling to control her breathing and slow her heart. When she'd woken up her hand had automatically begun searching for the handgun kept hidden nearby. She forced herself to stop searching and instead wrapped her arms around her legs, carefully pulling her knees up to her chest.

She knew what had woken her though her mind was trying its best to shy from the nightmare. Taking a deep breath Mac closed her eyes, consciously slowing her breathing. Feeling calmer she opened her eyes, glancing briefly at the clock on the nightstand. _0600, lovely_, she sighed to herself, resting her chin on her knees. Silently she studied the dark room, her eyes eventually coming to rest on the dark form of the animal sprawled at the end of her bed.

With a start she realized the puppy was awake and looking at her. His blue eyes reflected the dim light coming through the blinds as he peered at her curiously. Forcing a smile Mac murmured, "Go back to sleep, Hammer." He blinked then stood, padding quietly towards her. Flopping back down next to her he closed his eyes, content to resume sleep. Gently Mac petted the dog, seeking comfort in his presence. Bits of her nightmare still ran through her mind, _no, not a nightmare, memories_.

Mac ran her hand through her hair, shoving it back from her face. She dropped her chin back down, staring blankly at the closed door, left hand resting lightly on Hammer's side. She had managed to avoid most of Mattie and Jen's questions over the weekend, after her first narrative about the captivity they had only asked a couple more times for details. She couldn't bring herself to be weak in front of them. So she'd avoided the questions, refusing to speak about anything beyond what she had already said.

Unfortunately, refusing to speak out loud didn't prevent the memories from coming back. She been tempted, very tempted to get a drink. But every time the thought crossed her mind she would see something of Hammer's, a toy, his food dish, his leash, or even the puppy himself. The sight served to forcibly remind her of Harm and her next thought would inevitably be, _He would be so disappointed_. It scared her how much that simple thought could affect her. She'd spent so many years denying her feelings and yet he still held the most influence over her actions and thoughts. _Ironic, isn't it?_ She laughed mentally. It scared her how easily a thought of him could simply erase any desire to do something he wouldn't approve of. Halfway around the world from him and she still tried her best to keep from disappointing him. And yet, she could no longer quite comprehend a life where that fact didn't hold true.

Mac turned her head, pillowing her check on her knee as she stared at the window. She couldn't stop her eyes from drifting closed though she tried desperately to stay awake. She knew what lurked behind the curtain of sleep and didn't want to face it again. Yet try as she might she slowly slipped back into sleep, the nightmare crashing over her once more.

"_Maybe now you will speak, Commander?"_

_Harm glared at his captor, blue eyes flashing, "Never." He seemed oblivious to the bruises they were inflicting; punches to the ribs didn't outwardly faze him. Carefully he kept his gaze from drifting to Mac. She watched him, straining against the ropes binding her wrists and trying to subtly move away from the man gripping her arm. But it didn't work._

_The man who'd been interrogating Harm turned away. She met his gaze defiantly, standing as straight as possible. Now it was her turn to avoid looking at her partner. The man grinned coldly, at her and she tried not to flinch, "Or perhaps you will, Colonel?"_

_Mac glared back, stubbornly refusing to answer. The man glanced from her to Harm, his smile becoming colder. Mac shivered and suddenly she knew what he was going to do. She tried to speak but found herself unable to move. Her eyes flew to Harm who was gazing steadily back at her. She couldn't tear her eyes away from his, trying to convey more than she could say and being terrified that he couldn't understand. She struggled harder to get free but it was in vain._

_Out of the corner of her eye she saw the man's fist cock back. "Harm!" she screamed just his fist flew forward, connecting sharply with Harm's temple. Her mind fought against what she was seeing. She couldn't think, just watch as his body slowly toppled forward. She half registered the turning back towards her, but she couldn't see anything except Harm's still form, unmoving, even to breathe…_

"Harm!" Mac jerked awake, nearly falling off the bed as her body tried to bolt upright. For a long moment she didn't know where she was, struggling with the sheets in a desperate attempt to get free. In the corner of her eyes she saw a dark form move and with a half-suppressed yell she tumbled off the bed. The impact with the floor jolted her fully awake.

She sat on the floor, gripping the blanket that had followed her down and struggled to breath. She couldn't get the images out of her head despite her mind telling her it wasn't happening, that it was over. Intellectually she knew all that Harm hadn't died that day; he'd simply been knocked out in an attempt to get her to speak. But her fear for Harm was conjuring up all sorts of increasingly terrifying scenarios, this being only the most recent and somewhat tame all things considered. Sighing Mac pressed the heel of her hand to her forehead, half wishing she could just push the nightmares out of her mind.

She heard a soft yip and jumped, her already racing heart speeding up even more. She dropped her hand, reaching for her gun for the second time in one night. She'd just wrapped her hand around the grip when the meaning of the sound registered. Letting out a slow breath she scanned the room for the puppy, locating him after a moment peeking over the tangle of blankets on the bed. Releasing the gun again she scooted forward and picked him up. Turning, Mac rested her back against the bed, cradling Hammer in her arms and trying desperately to get her emotions and heart beat under control.

Hammer curled up against her chest, resting his chin on her forearm. He certainly had no idea what was going on but was content to be in his mistress' arms. Slowly she won the struggle with her emotions, eventually managing to rein them back to a manageable level. As she fought down the fear her heart rate and breathing gradually slowed to a more normal rate. After a few moments Mac had herself mostly under control though she felt far from calm. Glancing at the clock she realized she'd been asleep longer than she thought as it now read 0713.

Scrubbing a hand across her face she rose, setting Hammer on the floor. The puppy looked at her reproachfully, clearly not appreciating being moved from his place. With a tired chuckle she patted him on the head once more, murmuring, "Sorry buddy but I gotta get a shower or I'll pass out on my feet." Straightening Mac headed for the dresser, snagging sweatpants and a tank top on her way to the bathroom. Twenty minutes later she'd showered and dressed. Feeling more awake and collected than before, she hobbled to the kitchen barefoot turning on the coffee maker before heading back to the bedroom.

Wandering back to the bedroom she sat down to pull on socks and shoes, laughing softly as Hammer promptly plopped into her lap. The look he gave her spoke volumes, _you're on the floor, pet me_. Grinning she scratched his ears before picking him up and setting him next to her. He looked rather disgruntled at once more being moved. Chuckling again Mac scooped him up in one arm as she stood, using the other to brace her weight on the crutch. Another ten minutes and she was on her way out the door, puppy in tow on his leash. Though she couldn't go for a run she certainly had no intention of sitting around the apartment all morning.

* * *

Mac stepped off the elevator, sighing tiredly. She hadn't really walked a whole lot at the park, mostly sat on a bench but somehow she was exhausted. _Maybe because you didn't sleep much last night_, the voice of reason pointed out. Muttering to herself she mentally batted away the voice even if it was right. She glanced at her door and exhaled in annoyance. "Déjà vu," she grumbled, spotting Clayton Webb lurking outside her apartment once more. She'd barely spoken when Hammer spotted the man, promptly barking at him.

Mac smiled faintly, amused by his antics. _Well he certainly doesn't like Clay, can't say as I blame him_, she thought, half tempted to speak the words out loud but she refrained. Unlike Saturday she didn't even bother trying to silence the dog, simply hobbling to her door. She saw him look at her expectantly though he eyed the puppy thoughtfully. Mac didn't bother speaking to him, simply opening her apartment door and stepping inside, Hammer at her heels, still letting out yips at the man.

She unhooked the leash and made her way to the kitchen to grab more coffee and feed Hammer. Clay followed her inside, somewhat unnerved by her silence. Mac glanced at him as she set Hammer's food down, absently petting the puppy on the head as he bounded over. Not bothering to hide her irritation she asked pointedly as she moved to grab her coffee, "What do you want, Clay?"

He tried a smile though it faded quickly when she didn't return it, "I just want to talk, Sarah."

"About?" She arched an eyebrow at him, daring him to come up with a better topic than he had on Saturday. He didn't answer immediately and Mac simply gazed at him blandly over the rim of her coffee mug, leaning on the counter to take some weight off her foot. When he still didn't answer she asked again, her voice a little sharper, "About what?"

Finally he answered, speaking as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, "I want to talk about us, Sarah."

Mac barely managed to prevent herself from groaning, or tearing his head off, she wasn't quite sure which was more preferable at this point. After regaining control of herself she stated firmly, "We discussed this Saturday, the answer hasn't changed."

"No, you…" he was cut off by a knock on the door.

This time Mac did groan, "Who the hell could be at the door at 0915?" With an irritated frown she set down her mug and grabbed her crutches, using both this time as her ankle was seriously starting to bother her. Clay moved as if to offer aid but stopped at her glare. He sighed, annoyed at her insistence on doing things her way but he didn't particularly feel like a fight at the moment. Mac glanced through the peephole and froze briefly before biting out in clear annoyance, "What is it, asshole day?"

Clay's head jerked up a bit at that comment, frowning deeply. He bit back his comment however, curiosity about who was at the door overriding his need to protect his pride. Mac fumbled with the door a bit, muttering to herself about the annoyance of crutches. After a brief moment she managed to jerk it open, schooling her expression to gaze emotionlessly at the man on the other side, "Lieutenant, this is a surprise."


	13. Chapter 13

_Disclaimer: None of the JAG characters are mine, they belong to Donald Bellisario and CBS and whatnot._

_Ok, so I didn't actually get the chapter done last night like I thought I would. I did try but my roommate and I kinda ended up with a spontaneous cat so I ended up with less time than I thought. But I did manage to get it finished in class today! So here's chapter 13 (the question is... is it a lucky 13 or not?). Thanks to SailorGirl97, froggy0139, LiseGirardi, mjag, starryeyes10, and rainydays9 for the reviews! And thanks to everyone who's reading! Hope you enjoy this chapter also.

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_

Vukovic grinned at her, trying out his most charming smile, "Hi Colonel, I was in the neighborhood, thought I'd drop by." Mac simply gazed at him, pondering her options for a brief moment. A stray thought flitted across her mind; _his smile isn't half as gorgeous as Harm's_. Because she had to admit, Harm definitely had a great smile and it affected her no matter how much she wished it didn't. She quickly banished the thoughts, torn between grinning at the thought of how inferior Vukovic was and sobbing at the thought of Harm. Vukovic watched her for a moment then asked, his smile slipping a bit, "May I come in?"

Mac sighed, moving backwards a step, "Yeah sure." She closed the door behind him, briefly considering the merits of shooting both men. _Nah, don't want to deal with the cops_, she concluded. Vukovic stepped into the apartment, hiding a triumphant grin. He glanced around briefly, intending to compliment her on the room but his scan came to a screeching halt as he noticed the other man. His eyes narrowed slightly, who the hell was this guy?

Clay watched the lieutenant enter; he had a pretty good guess as to who it was. Though not dating Mac any more he had kept his eye on the JAG offices. A small smile played about his lips at the lieutenant's reaction to his presence. Casually he stepped forward, moving closer to Mac who promptly moved out of the way. Clay shot her a mildly annoyed look but she merely smiled blandly at him. Vukovic watched the interaction closely, trying to figure out what was going on. After a moment he decided he'd figure it out eventually. Smiling again he looked at Mac then jumped as he felt something tug on his pants. Glancing down he spied a small dog doing it's best to chew a hole in the hem of his pants, "What the hell?"

Now Mac did grin, eyes dancing with amusement, "Lieutenant, meet Hammer."

He glanced up at her, still trying to move his leg away from the puppy that was following tenaciously, "Hammer?" Mac nodded slightly, still smiling in amusement. Vukovic looked down at the dog, trying to decide whether to be annoyed or not. After a moment he asked, "Does he do this to everyone?"

Clay looked vaguely disgruntled; the dog had barked its fool head off at him. Mac shrugged slightly, "So far you and Clay are the only ones he's reacted to like this." At the sound of her voice Hammer let go of Vukovic and settled for barking a few times instead before scampering over to bat at her leg. Smiling fondly she bent down, using the nearby wall as support so she could pick up the insistent animal. She nuzzled the top of his head and was rewarded with a quick lick. Grinning she glanced at the two men who were both looking at her a bit oddly. Mac sighed, damn, they weren't just a pain or drug induced dream.

Mac grabbed her crutch and hobbled to the same chair she'd sat in on Saturday. She let out a soft sigh of relief as she took the weight off her broken foot. Glancing up expectantly she scratched Hammer's ears absently, "So… what can I do for you, lieutenant?" Vukovic blinked, jerking himself back to the present.

He glanced over at Clay then back at Mac, "Who's this guy?"

Mac sighed, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. He was avoiding the subject, great, that would just make this all take longer. Mac looked over at Clay, clearly expecting him to answer the question as she certainly wasn't going to. Clay arched an eyebrow at her but she just smiled. After a brief moment he conceded and looked over at Vukovic, "I'm Clayton Webb." He paused for a moment then opted for politeness, "And you are?"

"Lieutenant Gregory Vukovic," he glanced at Mac who was watching the exchange expressionlessly. He frowned slightly then looked at Clay, this wasn't going as he had planned, "You're a friend of the Colonel's?"

Clay flashed a grin, leaning casually against the back of the couch, "Yeah, Sarah and I have been friends for years. Close friends actually." Vukovic blinked, that definitely wasn't the answer he'd been hoping for. So focused were the two men on their verbal pissing contest that they missed Mac rolling her eyes. "And you? Been friend's with Sarah long?"

"Oh uh… just a few months. We work together at JAG," Vukovic flashed a grin of his own, not-so-subtly implying that he and Mac were on their way to being close friends as well. Mac sighed, starting to rise then sinking back into the chair with a soft groan. _Oh yeah, bad idea, damned ankle_, she muttered mentally. Both men glanced at her then at each other, holding a silent contest as to who would go to her. Mac ignored them both, wishing they were competing for who would leave first. Unfortunately that wasn't the case and Vukovic managed to make it to the chair first, "You alright, Colonel?"

She glanced up at him and grimaced mentally though outwardly she smiled as blandly as possible, "I'm fine, thank you, lieutenant." She felt at a distinct disadvantage sitting in the chair while they both towered over her. Sighing, and figuring she wasn't going to get rid of either one any time soon she waved a hand towards the couch, "Why don't you two sit down."

Webb and Vukovic eyed each other over her head for a moment before quietly making their way to the couch. Mac praised herself for having the good sense to pick a seat where neither could sit next to her; it was a small blessing at least. Silence reined for a brief time and Mac rolled her eyes, _oh good grief_. Finally she spoke up, breaking the silent war between the two men, "So lieutenant, what brings you here?"

He looked over at her and shifted slightly, trying to force himself to relax. He flashed another smile, putting on his most charming act, "I just wanted to see how you were doing, what with the ribs and all."

_Ha, sure he did,_ she thought cynically though she plastered on a smile, pretending to appreciate his thoughtfulness. "Thanks for your concern, lieutenant," she commented, sounding as sincere as possible.

"Please, call me Vic," he smiled broadly, starting to feel more comfortable as he began to feel like he was making progress. Mac was saved from answering by the sound of yet another knock on the door. She managed to prevent herself from sighing in relief; at this point anything was better than being alone with Lt. Idiot and Agent Moron.

She rose as quickly as possible, pointedly ignoring the guys subtly jockeying for position behind her. Hobbling to the door she absently toed Hammer out of the way when he tried to walk directly in front of her. The puppy plopped on the floor, eyeing Webb and Vukovic as they edged closer. Mac glanced down at him then over at the other two. Smothering a laugh she glanced through the peephole then broke into a huge grin, opening the door as quickly as possible, "Admiral! Sorry, AJ."

AJ Chegwidden stepped inside, swiftly wrapping Mac up in a hug. He pulled back and gazed directly into her eyes, making it obvious he expected an answer to his question, "How're you holding up, Mac?"

She smiled, a combination of sorrow and amusement, "I bought a puppy." AJ blinked, that was no where near the answer he'd been expecting. Frowning he fixed her with a glare, silently conveying that he expected a straight answer not a joke. Mac laughed softly at his look and shrugged slightly, "I bought a puppy, and his name is Hammer."

AJ's eyes widened slightly at the name then he glanced down, feeling something pat lightly at his leg. With a chuckle he bent down and picked up the puppy that was looking up at him earnestly. Straightening he smiled at Mac, "I see you weren't kidding." Mac grinned briefly and shook her head. He smiled down at the puppy, scratching his back lightly. Softly he commented, "The name is perfect." Mac nodded, feeling tears choke her. Swallowing past them she hobbled a bit farther into the apartment, letting AJ enter.

Still petting Hammer he froze when he saw there were already two other occupants. Frowning thoughtfully he glanced back at Mac who was shutting the door. When she turned around he looked at her expectantly, waiting for an explanation. Mac sighed, glancing at Clay and Vukovic; she'd forgotten they were there. Briefly she introduced them, "Sir, you already know Clay, and this is Lieutenant Vukovic. Lieutenant this is Admiral Chegwidden."

"Sir," Vukovic instinctively straightened.

AJ studied him for a long moment before nodding slightly, "Lieutenant." He glanced at the other man, "Clayton."

Webb nodded with a slight smile, "AJ."

Chegwidden glanced over at Mac, his eyes reflecting his puzzlement though he spoke lightly, "Having a party, Colonel?" He still cradled the puppy, petting him lightly as the dog slowly fell asleep in his arms.

Mac grimaced, "An unplanned one, sir… AJ."

"Ah," he glanced back at Clay and Vukovic who were both beginning to look decidedly uncomfortable. Vukovic watched the admiral with interest, mentally cursing himself for not taking more interest in the dog. It was clear that Mac appreciated AJ's involvement with the puppy, _why didn't I think of that? Being enthusiastic about a puppy isn't that hard if it gets on her good side!_ Clay was having similar thoughts; though not a big animal person himself he'd known how much Mac liked dogs. After all she'd had Jingo for years, hell he'd dated her for a few months, he should've known better.

AJ glanced from Mac to Vukovic and Clay, silently taking in the situation. It didn't take him long to realize that when she said "unplanned" she'd really meant "unplanned and unwanted." Making a decision he smiled over at Mac, asking casually, "So, Mac, you ready for brunch?"

"Sir?" she looked vaguely startled.

AJ smiled calmly, "Don't tell me you forgot, we agreed on Friday, remember?"

Mac looked at him for a moment in mild confusion then her face relaxed into a smile, "Oh right, sorry it slipped my mind. I just need my purse." She glanced back at Clay and "Vic" who were both eyeing the admiral. "Sorry, guys…"

Clay cut her off, "Can we please talk, Sarah?"

Mac stiffened, "No, Clay, I told you earlier, we talked on Saturday, the answer has not, and will not, change."

Clay took a step forward only to be confronted by the solid mass of AJ Chegwidden who was suddenly looking every inch the ex-SEAL. Hammer had somehow moved from the admiral to Mac and AJ now stood with his arms crossed over his chest, glowering at the CIA agent, "I think it's time you leave, Mr. Webb." Clay swiftly took a step backwards, distinctly remembering his broken nose and having no desire to relive the experience.

He craned his neck slightly to look at Mac who was now behind AJ, pleading, "Sarah?"

Mac gazed at him stoically, unmoved, "No, Clay. Now please, leave." The agent looked once more at AJ who was still glaring, his body language speaking volumes. If Clay didn't leave now a broken nose was going to be the least of his worries. Clay sighed and nodded, shooting one last pleading look at Mac. Seeing it have no effect he nodded briefly to Vukovic then strode out, doing his best to appear unbeaten. Vukovic watched the exchange from a safe distance. He couldn't help but eye the admiral warily, not wanting to get on this man's bad side. Though he felt he was tougher than the pansy CIA guy he felt discretion was definitely the better part of valor in this case.

He smiled weakly, edging himself towards the door as AJ's glare fell on him, daring him to comment. _Quit while you're ahead, Vic_. Forcing his smile to become a little stronger he excused himself, "I should be leaving as well. I'll, uh, see you around, Colonel." Without waiting for an answer he slipped out the door and fled. Mac waited until the door had completely closed before laughing appreciatively.

She looked up at AJ with a grateful smile, "Thanks, AJ."

He grinned down at her, suddenly becoming the father-like figure again, "Anytime. Now how about that brunch?"

Mac blinked, surprised, "You were serious?"

"About us making plans, no. But brunch, why not?"

Mac thought about that for a moment then smiled and nodded slightly, "Sure, just let me take Hammer out first."

"Of course," AJ grabbed the door knob and held the door open for her. He had no intention of letting her out of his sight for at least a little while, not wanting to risk Clay or that lieutenant coming back. Though he didn't know Vukovic something about the guy rubbed him wrong. He also had a feeling there was a lot more to this story about Iraq than anyone would let on. His gut told him the lieutenant was a key figure and not in a good way.

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**Unknown Location**

**Same Day**

**1400 ZULU**

Harm surfaced slowly from sleep. He could barely remember a recent time when he hadn't been kicked awake. Carefully he cracked one eye open, hoping that somehow maybe it had all been a dream. His vision was met with unrelieved darkness, so complete he couldn't see anything. Opening his other eye he strained to see, blinking a few times to make sure he really had his eyes open. It was of no use however, he couldn't see a thing. Slowly he moved his hand from under his head, waving it gently in front of his face. He couldn't see it, even when he accidentally smacked himself in the nose he still couldn't see his own hand. _So much for that idea_, he thought ruefully.

Lowering his hand back to the ground he started to push up from the floor then gasped in pain as his broken ribs made themselves known. He'd been breathing shallowly without realizing it, instinctively trying to keep his ribs as pain free as possible. But for that brief moment he'd forgotten and tried to use his chest muscles. Collapsing back to the floor he bit back a yelp as he landed solidly on his side. He clenched his teeth, slowly breathing through the pain until it subsided enough for him to relax again.

_Ok, so moving is out of the question_. He closed his eyes again, deciding he might as well since they weren't doing him any good when they were open. Cautiously Harm let his mind drift over recent events, his memory coming to an abrupt halt at his capture. Sighing softly he refused to let himself remember, forcibly blocking out his own memories, _what I don't remember can't hurt them_. There were some memories he couldn't bring himself to block out, some that he couldn't block. He comforted himself with these memories, letting his mind drift over the years and his partner.

She was all he would allow himself to remember. _Sarah_, his mind breathed, picturing her. Happy, sad, pissed, he remembered clearly every moment with her. It was odd he supposed, he couldn't remember Diane so clearly, nor any of his girlfriends. Yet somehow, despite the fact that he had never dated Mac, he could recall everything perfectly. But he tamped down on the oddity; it was irrelevant, for now he was just grateful the pain was dull enough to allow him to think clearly. It wasn't gone completely, far from it, but as long as he didn't move and breathed shallowly enough it was bearable. Briefly he wondered how long it had been since they'd come to see him, he had no clue how much time had passed.

Vaguely he recalled being given food a few times though he'd not bothered to keep count after the first few since it was obvious they weren't feeding him at regular intervals. Even that method of timekeeping was lost to him. He wondered whether anyone was looking for him, whether _she_ was looking for him. Part of him desperately hoped so; he didn't think he could bear to die without seeing her at least once more. But part of him hoped not, he could bear it even less if she was captured once more. Especially not if it was in an attempt to save him, he would never be able to forgive himself. With a last smile at the memory of his partner and the woman he loved Harm allowed himself to drift back to sleep, comforted by the only memories he allowed himself to have.


	14. Chapter 14

_Disclaimer: None of the JAG characters are mine, they belong to Donald Bellisario and CBS and whatnot._

_I hate automata! Ok, over that now. So yeah, writing > homework. Anywho, here's another chapter. I'm thrilled at the responses, wasn't quite expecting the puppy to go over so well. :-P Who knew? He's actually based on a dog I owned in high school, acted pretty much exactly like Hammer does. Been thinking about the cancellation thing. On one hand it's depressing, JAG's one of the few shows I truly enjoy and now it'll be gone. On the other hand, I'm glad there won't be a Harm-less season, I'm not sure I could've beared (born?) to watch that. And a big plus, No More Vukovic! (happy dance) _

_Thanks to zeilfanaat, jaggurl, LiseGirardi (hope I addressed your concerns in this chapter:-) ), hardluckmarine, jaka, mjag, carbygurl05, jlhtbs, cbw, harmfan, snugglebug, Radiorox, martini1988 (I'd say soon but that's somewhat of a relative term so the best I can do is promise that he -will- be rescued eventually), starryeyes10, TomcatGM, and anyone I missed! And thanks to everyone who's reading! Also, thanks again to sithwitch for listening to me ramble on about my story and for answering all the crazy medical questions I can come up with! So read, review, and enjoy!

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**USMC Base Camp**

**Iraq**

**1600 ZULU**

Gunnery Sergeant Victor Galindez sighed heavily as he rode the humvee into the camp. They'd continued the search ever since finding Colonel MacKenzie and Lieutenant Vukovic but there was no sign of Commander Rabb. The squad had located the buildings Mac and Vukovic had escaped from. Unfortunately a sand storm had demolished any clues as to where the trucks had gone, taking Harm with them.

Angrily he rubbed his hand across his hair, roughly brushing out the sand in it before replacing his BDU hat. His entire team was covered in sand and sweat. They'd been searching all day but had found less than nothing. Gunny knew if they didn't find anything soon the search would be drastically cut back. He could only be grateful this was the US military and not the CIA, at least Harm had a chance. But he couldn't help but feel a shiver run up his spine at the thought that of his friend being a captive somewhere. He hadn't liked it in Paraguay; he liked it even less now.

Muttering to himself he shook off the thoughts, jumping lightly down from the vehicle. Absently he saluted his second-in-command, a marine sergeant before heading off for the showers. He'd only gotten about halfway there when a corporal ran up to him, screeching to a halt and saluting. Gunny blinked, well this was new. Bemused he returned the salute and waited for the corporal to speak. "Sir, there's a phone call for you."

He was slightly taken aback, who would be calling him? Much less, who had enough pull to actually get put through out here? He frowned, "From whom?"

"Ah, he says his name is Webb." Now Gunny was truly confused, what the hell was Mr. Webb doing calling him.

He'd begun to get lost in his thoughts when the shifting of the corporal caught his eye. Rapidly collecting himself he nodded, "Thank you, corporal." The corporal saluted once more, waited for Gunny to return it then turned and trotted away. Gunny redirected himself to the headquarters building, pondering this development. He sincerely hoped Clay didn't want him for another CIA job, there was no way he was going to abandon this search. Not after doing everything he could to make sure his squad was one that was permanently assigned to the search.

Shaking his head slightly to himself he entered the building, tugging off his hat. He glanced at the petty officer sitting behind the desk, "I'm Gunnery Sergeant Galindez; I was told there was a call for me?"

The younger man bounced to his feet, "Yes, sir. Right through here, sir." He showed Gunny to a small side office with a simple desk and phone. Nodding briefly to the petty officer Gunny approached the desk, only half noticing the other man leave.

Remaining standing he picked up the phone, punching the line that was blinking, "Galindez."

"Gunny, this is Clay."

Gunny rolled his eyes; did the man really think they hadn't told him who was calling? "Yes, Mr. Webb?"

"How's the search for Harm going?"

Gunny frowned slightly, he considered lying but didn't see a point, after all Clay would be able to find out the truth if he really wanted to, "Not well." Clay nodded to himself on the other end of the line. When he didn't respond after a few moments Gunny asked, "Is there something I can do for you, Mr. Webb?"

Clay smiled faintly, "Actually, something I can do for you. I managed to convince the agency to allow our agents in Iraq to help with the search."

Gunny was shocked, that wasn't what he'd been expecting. He knew Clay and Harm were friends, or at least had been but he also knew the CIA was not big on rescuing people. He spoke slowly, still somewhat incredulous and wondering if this was a big joke, "Excuse me?"

Clay shrugged, idly glancing around his office at CIA Headquarters, "Not actively, nor even solely. But they have agreed to let them help if they want, basically they're aware that Harm is missing and will keep their eyes open for information about him or his location and pass it on to the military. It's not an active search by any means but it's the best I could do."

"Well, thanks, Mr. Webb. We appreciate any help we can get in finding the Commander." Gunny hung up the phone and stared at it thoughtfully for a moment. That had been an odd conversation, but he wasn't about to turn down any offers of help. Shrugging slightly he headed back out, resuming his original plan to head for the showers. With luck this would all make the searching go that much faster, unfortunately he had a feeling the CIA knew no more than the military did about Harm's location.

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**Mac's Apartment**

**Same Day**

**1700 ZULU**

AJ watched Mac carefully as they made their way back to her apartment. He pondered the topic he'd wanted to bring up since he'd first shown up a few hours ago. Well, actually the two topics he wanted to talk to her about, one was the original reason he'd come over. The other was a topic brought on by his arrival. Every time he'd tried to broach either she'd deftly avoided him, _which is exactly what makes her such a great lawyer_, he thought ruefully. Finally he tried again, deciding to start with the easier topic and lead into the other, "Mac, tell me why Webb and Vukovic were here this morning?"

She sighed, pausing briefly in the act of unlocking the door, "I told you, they both kinda showed up." She opened the door and hobbled in, looking forward to sitting on the couch. AJ followed, quietly closing the door behind him. He smiled and patted Hammer on the head when he bounded over to meet them then grinned fully as the puppy turned and bounced over to Mac, trying vainly to hop on the couch next to her. Smiling herself Mac reached down and picked him up, cuddling the dog close as if he could protect her from things she didn't want to discuss.

But AJ was persistent. He moved over to the chair and sat down, resting his elbows on his knees as he watched his former Chief of Staff. He was silent for a moment before speaking again, "Mac, give me a straight answer."

She glanced at him, carefully preventing any reaction to the question from showing on her face, "I did; they showed up."

AJ arched an eyebrow, his expression clearly showing that he didn't believe her, "I know there's more to it than that. Last I heard you and Webb weren't really that close anymore." Mac's head shot up, her surprise clearly showing despite her best efforts. AJ chuckled in dry amusement, "I heard the scuttlebutt; I wasn't completely oblivious you know."

Mac sighed, leaning back on the couch though she still held Hammer close. For a moment she considered her answer, though she trusted AJ implicitly there was still plenty she didn't particularly want him to know. Finally she explained, "Clay showed up to try and talk about our relationship. I'd been about to have him leave when the lieutenant showed up."

"Right, why didn't you ask Clay to leave then?"

She smiled wryly, "I didn't quite get there; he decided to get into some verbal sparring with the lieutenant."

"I see," he studied her for a moment before trying a different tack; this line of conversation definitely wasn't going to allow him to broach the subject he really wanted to. "So this lieutenant, tell me about him."

Mac grimaced slightly, "He's new at JAG, had no court experience before he got there."

AJ looked mildly surprised, "He what?" Mac shrugged slightly, not particularly wanting to discuss Vukovic, even to point out his shortcomings. She knew if she started on that trend she'd reveal a lot more than she wanted to. "Huh, so you were training him I take it? That's why he was in Iraq with you and Harm?"

Mac nodded slightly, "Yeah."

"I see." He frowned, watching her. She was still avoiding the topic, answering his questions as minimally as possible. He took a breath and decided to tackle things head on, hoping she wouldn't kick him out, "What happened in Iraq, Mac?"

He almost missed the slightly flinch at the question and berated himself, he hadn't meant to hurt her with the question. He simply wanted to know what had happened, especially as it involved two officers he felt so protective of. But he waited silently, sensing that were he to push the issue, despite being her former CO, she'd push him away completely and quite probably avoid speaking to him for days. Finally Mac took a breath, steeling herself to recount the situation once more. Briefly she outlined the events of what had happened, skimming over her actual time in captivity, trying to be as vague as possibly about her own feelings. She should've known better, AJ picked up on a lot of what she didn't say, and like Gunny quickly drew his own conclusions.

Though she didn't explicitly state that Vukovic was at fault, indeed she actually listed the events so blandly as to blame no one at all, he could tell. The admiral frowned, leaning back in the chair as he watched her. She'd stopped talking and seemed to be in her own world, an action he noticed frequently over the course of the morning. Finally he asked quietly, knowing she'd follow his thinking, "Why did you let the lieutenant in this morning, Mac, after everything that happened?"

She looked up at him, her eyes distant and filled with such sadness it made his heart ache. She answered softly, her words fitting with her normal dry humor though the tone said otherwise, "What was I supposed to do, sir? I didn't want to cause a scene." He could read the subtext as clear as if she'd continued speaking; she didn't want to act as anything other than the consummate officer. For a moment he reflected on the insight into people's characters and personalities that being their CO for eight years had given him. He also knew that everything she'd told him, as well as many things she hadn't, would be outline in a clear and concise report for the new JAG. And unless he missed his guess, General Cresswell would have that report in hand a lot sooner than expected.

AJ had a feeling things weren't going to go so well for the lieutenant. He knew how much Mac believed in the law, she'd see to it justice was served, especially in light of Harm's continued absence. He could only hope she wouldn't completely burn out and withdraw. The admiral had seen how close the pair had gotten over the years and he didn't want to think of how Mac would react to Harm's absence if it continued much longer. Though not nearly as emotion driven as the Commander he had a feeling things wouldn't be pretty.

He sighed heavily, rubbing a hand over his head. Mac didn't appear to notice him; in fact she seemed to have completely forgotten his presence. After a few more minutes AJ asked softly, wondering if she'd answer him, "You're in love with him, aren't you?" He waited for her to deny it, to ask who he was talking about, to do a hundred different things in order to avoid the subject. But she did none of those, he wasn't entirely sure she was aware of what was going on anymore. When she continued to sit in silence he spoke again, voice still soft so as not to startle her, "Mac?"

His voice attracted the attention of Hammer, who blinked at him sleepily. It struck him at that moment just how close in color the back of the dog was to a Tomcat. He smiled sadly, at the puppy, hoping someday he'd get to see the blue eyes of his missing son again. _Son? Where the hell did that come from?_ AJ was startled at his own thoughts. He contemplated it for a moment before conceding that his subconscious was right, over the years he had come to think of the sometimes reckless Commander as his own son. He looked back at Mac, accepting that somewhere along the line he begun to think of her as a second daughter also. _Funny how our perceptions change over the years_.

He was pulled out of his thoughts by the realization that Mac still hadn't answered. AJ frowned; he expected some response by now. Slowly he stood and moved over to the couch, watching her carefully. Gently he touched her shoulder, "Sarah?"

Slowly she looked up at him. He resisted the urge to gather her up in his arms at the sight of such complete loss in her eyes. After a moment she smiled faintly, though it was a smile filled with such sadness and devastation he felt more like crying at the sight. Her voice was barely above a whisper as she finally answered his question, "Yes, I am." She saw no point in denying it, the admiral had probably already known anyways. And if he hadn't she was sure her reaction had answered the question long before she'd spoken. She had heard him, but somehow couldn't make herself speak, instead drowning in memories of Harm. It was as if the simple question had opened the floodgates of her mind and she'd been unable to close them, didn't want to close them.

The admiral smiled sympathetically and nodded, commenting with a hint of humor, "I had a feeling that was the case."

Mac returned the smile, this time with a little more cheer instead of sorrow. She asked, with a hint of dryness, "How long have you known?"

He laughed softly, resuming his seat in the chair, "I had a feeling there was something between you since you two met. But actually knowing for a fact you two were in love? Not quite four years ago, at your rehearsal dinner."

Mac laughed, a hint of bitterness lacing the sound, "Guess everyone knew but me then."

The admiral cocked his head, eyes narrowing slightly, "You knew."

She glanced at him, unfazed by his answer. Mac shrugged slightly, a slight smile on her lips, "Yeah, I suppose so." She let out a self-deprecating laugh, "For someone who's supposed to be such a great lawyer, my observation skills leave something to be desired."

AJ shrugged slightly and stood, commenting, "Love is blind, Colonel. Now I'll get out of your hair, you look like you could use some time alone."

Mac looked up and smiled gratefully at him, "Thanks, sir, for everything."

He grinned, patting Hammer on the head one last time, "Anytime, Mac." With that he let himself out. Mac sat for a long time on the couch, staring into space and thinking about everything and nothing.


	15. Chapter 15

_Disclaimer: None of the JAG characters are mine, they belong to Donald Bellisario and CBS and whatnot._

_Wow, didn't realize that last chapter would end up so controversial. So first I'll address the concerns. (1) Harm - well, he's in this chapter more and I promise he's going to be a lot more central to the chapters after the next one (yes, the rescue is coming up). To be honest, when I started writing I didn't realize the story would end up quite so Mac-centric but that's the way it ended up coming out. I guess all I can really say is sorry the story didn't deal as much with Harm (heck, it didn't really go the way I had planned either). (2) I wasn't trying to make out that Mac isn't emotion driven, it was meant to be AJ's opinion, sorry if it came out wrong. (3) Erm, well I like to think of AJ this way and I'll be honest, I haven't seen all of the episodes (stupid USA skipping eps) so maybe my perception is a bit off. But for the sake of the story we'll pretend this is how he feels/acts._

_Okay then. Sorry I didn't update sooner, I couldn't seem to find a good breaking point. So instead I just kept writing until I reached one and split it into two chapters so you guys get two for the price of one today. I apologize in advance for the horrendous break between the chapters, like I said, couldn't find a good stopping point. Thanks so much to snugglebug, mjag, LiseGirardi, zeilfanaat, harmfan, MacHarmever, martini1988, jaka, Disaster Child, TomcatHM, JAGfan, Tina Frank, Beach chickJASSNL, Radiorox, Jagfan44, shiri, and anyone I missed! I hope you all enjoy the chapter! Read and review!

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**Thursday**

**Unknown Location**

**0200 ZULU**

_I am an American, fighting in the forces which guard my country and our way of life. I am prepared to give my life in their defense._ Harm lay on his back, staring up into the darkness. He couldn't see anything but for some reason he felt more comfortable with his eyes open. They'd left him alone for what he could only guess had been a few days. His ribs were bearable and most of the scratches and lacerations from when he was captured were healed. At least he could breathe somewhat properly now, he hoped his ribs were in a semblance of proper alignment. On the other hand, he wasn't really expecting them to stay unbroken for any great length of time once his friendly neighborhood insurgents decided to pay him another visit.

He'd briefly considered counting ceiling tiles when he'd first gotten bored. Then he remembered he couldn't actually _see _the ceiling. So he'd settled for reciting every song he could remember. Eventually he'd run out of songs. He'd tried quoting movies but found he was unable to remember many quotes. So now he found himself reciting the Code of Conduct for prisoners to himself. _I will never surrender of my own free will. If in command, I will never surrender the members of my command while they still have the means to resist._

He hadn't done that. Rather he'd locked away his free will for the most part. He allowed himself to remember innocuous things like songs and movies now, and some of his legal training. But he still refused to let himself remember anything else. His family, friends, naval knowledge, all were still a deliberate blur. Harm sighed softly, all but one that is. He still couldn't bring himself to block out memories of Mac, those were the only thing keeping him going. Between her and his innate sense of duty he'd persisted in staying alive, he had a promise to keep.

_If I am captured I will continue to resist by all means available. I will make every effort to escape and to aid others to escape. I will accept neither parole nor special favors from the enemy._ A slight smile crossed his lips, Mac had certainly done that. He remembered trying to open his door after she'd left, frantically trying to join her and the lieutenant in escape. But he'd failed, and it had only been a few minutes before men had burst into his cell. The smile turned to a grimace as his hand automatically went to his ribs, touching them lightly through his grimy shirt. Since that first time he'd been in too much pain to move much less try to escape. And now that he could move he couldn't see.

Oh he'd tried, feeling his way along the walls. He'd eventually located the door, discovering that there was no way to open it from the inside. But he'd worked at it until exhaustion won out. Unfortunately he was too weak to make a break for it when they opened the door. Harm knew that was deliberate on their part, they weren't going to risk giving him enough to actually remain strong. Rather they gave him just enough bread and water to stay alive. But still he tried, growing weaker by the hour whenever he did so, but it was better than doing nothing. He tried to raise his right arm, testing his strength. He'd barely moved it six inches into the air when his muscles gave out and his hand smacked back down on his ribs, prompting a sharp intake of breath at the sudden pain.

Nope, not time to try again. Harm had a sinking feeling he wasn't going to be strong enough to try more than once more, provided they didn't kill him first. Sighing again he resumed reciting the code mentally, distracting himself from despair. _If I become a prisoner of war, I will keep faith with my fellow prisoners. I will give no information or take part in any action which might be harmful to my comrades. If I am senior, I will take command. If not, I will obey the lawful orders of those appointed over me and will back them up in every way._ Well, he had no fellow prisoners that he knew of, not after Mac and Vukovic had escaped. That was definitely a plus; he didn't wish this on anyone.

_When questioned, should I become a prisoner of war, I am required to give name, rank, service number, and date of birth. I will evade answering further questions to the…_ He only made it halfway through the next article when he heard a key turn in the door lock. Instinctively he closed his eyes against the inevitable flood of light. Sitting in pitch blackness all day was definitely not doing anything for his vision. He hoped they were just here to feed him, he had no idea how long it'd been since he'd last eaten. His stomach had long since given up on making its hunger known, but still, he needed his strength, what little there was left of it.

Harm felt two men grab him roughly under the arms and haul him to his feet. No such luck then, beatings were the order of the day. Sardonically he asked himself, _the beatings will continue until morale improves?_ Carefully he cracked one eye, trying to see what was going on then promptly screwed it shut again as he was dragged out of the room. _Well, this is new,_ he thought wryly. Unfortunately new in this place never meant anything good. He could feel the light stabbing at his eyelids as he was hauled down the hallway. Harm tried to keep his feet under him, moving with as much of his own power as he could. But they moved too quickly and he couldn't keep up in his present state. He ended up being literally dragged more often than not.

They didn't go far before hanging a quick right and dropping him to the floor in the corner of another room. Cautiously he rolled to his back, trying to open his eyes as tiny of an amount as possible. This room was well lit, unlike his own. Light poured through both a window as well as being radiated from the lamp hanging on the ceiling. Very slowly his eyes adjusted to the sudden light. He could vaguely make out the outlines of four men, one of whom he was sure was the man he'd dubbed Vader. The others he didn't recognize but one was holding something. Blinking a couple times Harm tried to focus, his eyes still slits against the light. It was something he knew he should recognize, a… camera? Why the hell did he have a camera?

For a brief moment he wondered if he was about to lose his head, literally. _No… they use video cameras for that… what the hell is going on?_ He was getting more confused by the moment but then he heard the big man speak, "You can begin. Remember, we want him still alive." Harm's vision had begun to clear and he could see the cold smile on the other man's face. "But he doesn't need to be conscious." Harm allowed his eyes to close again feeling a wave of despair wash over him. Mentally he began reciting, repeating the words over and over like a mantra, _I will never forget that I am an American, fighting for freedom, responsible for my actions, and dedicated to the principles which made my country free. I will trust in my God and in the United States of America.

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Harm lay in the crumpled heap where they'd dropped him. Broken bones screamed out in pain but he couldn't muster the energy or strength to try and move. He was back in the complete darkness of his cell. It might have been ten minutes since they'd dragged him out. It might have been ten hours; his sense of time was completely destroyed. He was glad that he was still alive, though at the moment he felt like he'd be better off dead. Dimly he remembered the camera going off periodically but he couldn't quite bring himself to wonder what they were planning to do.

He heard the door open again, internally he cringed but he couldn't force his body to follow suit. He let out a soft sigh of relief when the person didn't touch him. Instead, whoever it was simply set a bowl of water and some bread next to him before vanishing back into the light. The door closed solidly behind them and Harm could feel the thud resound through him. It had such a final sound; he couldn't help but shiver. Slowly he pried his eyes open though it did no good; the room was as dark as ever. Tiredly he closed his eyes again; he had no energy to eat at the moment. He'd barely shut his eyes before he dropped back into unconsciousness, the code of conduct echoing through his mind, _I will never forget that I am an American…

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**JAG Headquarters**

**Friday**

**1500 ZULU**

General Gordon Cresswell gazed impassively at the photographs scattered on his desk. The small stack of images had arrived a few minutes ago, hand delivered by a Marine corporal. They'd been sealed in a manila envelope, the words "For General Cresswell only" scribbled across the front. He'd questioned the corporal closely but the young man had had no idea what was in the envelope. Finally the JAG had let him leave, settling behind his desk and staring warily at the nondescript item. He had a bad feeling about this. That feeling had turned out to be warranted as he opened the envelope and dumped out at least a dozen photographs of his missing officer.

The message was clear; the problem was he knew the United States would not succumb. Cresswell sighed heavily, rubbing his forehead wearily. This was turning into more of a nightmare by the minute. The only thing he knew for certain was that no one was going to see these pictures except him. Frowning, the General reached for his phone, rapidly dialing the number for the SecNav. After a brief, irritating conversation he had his answer, the United States Navy did not negotiate with terrorists. Commander Rabb knew the risks when he joined.

Slamming the phone down Cresswell glared at the inanimate object, as if he could somehow incinerate the SecNav by way of telephone wire. Petty Officer Coates' voice sounded over the intercom, "Excuse me, sir?"

"What!" he barked back, thoroughly irritated and not in the mood for interruptions.

He immediately regretted his reaction but felt a small surge of pride when Coates didn't hesitate, simply stating calmly, "Colonel MacKenzie is here and would like to see you?"

He blinked, his anger forgotten. What on earth was the Colonel doing here; she wasn't off medical leave for another week. Frowning he replied, his voice quieter now, "Just a moment." Swiftly he gathered up the pictures, stuffing them back into their envelope. Finishing he scanned the desk quickly then pushed the intercom button again, "Send her in, Coates." Almost immediately the door opened and Colonel MacKenzie hobbled in. Cresswell's frown deepened. Mac came to attention in front of his desk despite being in civilian clothing. Absently he waved her to a chair, "Have a seat, Colonel." Cocking his head he smiled slightly, "I must say it's odd seeing you in this office in civvies."

Mac smiled back, commenting wryly, "It's odd being here in civvies, sir."

The General leaned back in his chair, studying Mac thoughtfully, "So, Colonel, what is it that brings you in when you're supposed to be on medical leave?"

The smile fled from Mac's face as she set a file on the desk in front of him. Settling back in her own chair she replied steadily, everything about her conveying just how deadly serious she was, "My report on the Iraq incident, sir."

His eyebrows shot up in surprise. Leaning forward he snagged the file and pulled it towards him, commenting, "You didn't need to file this until your return."

Mac gazed back at him calmly, nodding slightly, "I know, sir. I felt it best if I brought it in as soon as possible."

Cresswell eyed her momentarily; there was something in her voice that made him tense. He knew then that he wasn't going to like the report; _well this day just gets better and better_. Slowly he opened the folder, skimming the top page. Then he reread it slower, letting the words sink in. Meticulously he read through the entire report, momentarily forgetting he wasn't alone in his office. Mac sat and watched him patiently, her expression grim. This was it and truthfully she wasn't sure how the General would react. She could have at least guessed as to the Admiral's reaction but she was still wary of the General. Sure, she knew now he wasn't going to arbitrarily reassign her to Iceland, but that didn't mean he was going to take well to what she had to say, especially about another officer.

Finally he raised his head slowly to meet Mac's gaze. He gazed at her steadily for a long moment, noting with approval that she didn't flinch or drop her own gaze. After a few more moment of silence he heaved a sigh and spoke, careful to keep his voice completely neutral, "You're certain this is how you want the report to stand?"

Mac answered calmly, "Yes, sir."

He glanced down again, flipping idly through the pages. He frowned thoughtfully; this hadn't quite been what he was expecting. Yet, he wasn't about to discount Mac's take on the situation. In fact, from what he'd heard, her report was dead on. Though he didn't move his head he looked up at her, peering over the top of the file, "Your recommendation?"

Mac heaved a mental sigh of relief; he wasn't going to dress her down for anything. She pondered the question a moment then answered confidently, "An Article 32 hearing, sir. Let the judge decide if it's worth a court martial."

Cresswell raised his head, arching an eyebrow slightly with faint amusement. His voice was wry, "Considering the list of charges that will come out of this, I doubt a court martial is avoidable."

She shrugged slightly, "Probably not, sir. But legally it would be better to do the hearing first."

He nodded, closing the file and setting it back on his desk. He hit the intercom button on the phone, "Coates, have Commanders Turner and Roberts report to my office immediately." He leaned back and folded his hands in his lap, "I'll assign someone from outside the office to defend since I doubt anyone here will want the job." Mac's lips quirked in a faint smile as she nodded in agreement.

Coates' voice sounded over the intercom, "Sir, the Commanders are here."

"Send them in." He looked at Mac once more with a grim smile then glanced at the door as it opened. Sturgis and Bud entered and quickly moved to stand at attention in front of the General's desk. Sighing he nodded, "At ease, have a seat gentlemen."

Relaxing both men glanced curiously at Mac but didn't say anything, figuring her presence would be explained soon enough. Cresswell looked over the small group for a moment then began, "Based on reports I've received about the events in Iraq I've made a decision concerning charges." Mac glanced at him sharply; she hadn't realized he'd already had reports. Though, now that she thought about it, she really shouldn't be surprised as both the Colonel at the base and Captain Ingles would have contacted the General.


	16. Chapter 16

_Disclaimer: None of the JAG characters are mine, they belong to Donald Bellisario and CBS and whatnot._

_And here's chapter two of the two-part update! See previous chapter for notes regarding that. Read, review, and above all enjoy! Rescue should be in a chapter or two! Heh, so I reread the beginning of this chapter and realized I listed the wrong charges that carry a penalty of death, fixed that now. (be kinda odd if disrepecting an officer could get you killed)

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Sturgis frowned slightly, shooting a surreptitious glance at Mac. Was she being charged with something? If so he sincerely hoped the General was not asking them to prosecute her. Hearing the General clear his throat Sturgis looked back at his CO apologetically. Cresswell didn't seem to care; rather he was considering the best way to phrase his next words. After a pause he continued, opting for bluntness, "Lieutenant Vukovic is to stand before an Article 32 hearing on the charges of disobeying a direct order, misbehavior before the enemy, conduct unbecoming, and reckless endangerment."

Both men's eyes widened in shock and they swiftly exchanged glances before looking at Mac. Mac gazed straight ahead, her face expressionless. Tentatively Bud commented, "Sir, charges of disobeying a direct order in a time of war and misbehavior before the enemy can carry a penalty of death."

Cresswell looked at the Lt. Commander blandly, "Yes, I know."

Sturgis spoke up, his dark eyes reflecting puzzlement, "Sir, what do you want the Commander and I to do?"

General Cresswell glanced at his other senior attorney, "I want you to sit first chair for the government, Commander Roberts will sit second chair."

"What about the defense, sir?" Bud asked curiously, clearly puzzled though he didn't seem to disapprove of the assignments.

Cresswell sighed slightly, "I'll be assigning someone from out of office to defend the lieutenant." He looked over at Sturgis, a faintly amused and knowing smile on his face, "Since I doubt anyone in the office would be willing to do so." Sturgis nodded slightly in agreement, exchanging another look with Bud. Cresswell watched the exchange with narrowed eyes, "This going to be a problem, Commanders?"

Both looked back, automatically straightening in their chairs as they answered simultaneously, "No, sir!"

Mac hid a smile at the reaction. Cresswell nodded firmly, "Good. I'll have the actual case files for you in a couple of hours. Dismissed."

Both men rose to their feet and came to attention, "Aye, aye, sir." With a final look at Mac the pair turned and left. Mac could hear them begin to speak animatedly as soon as they were through the door. She looked back at the general and realized he was watching her curiously.

She subconsciously straightened as best she could with her ribs. After a moment the General stood and paced to the window, staring outside. He spoke quietly, "I imagine the Commanders will want to talk to you and call you as a witness."

She frowned slightly at his back, unsure of where he was going with this. She replied cautiously, "Yes, sir."

He nodded, mostly to himself then continued speaking conversationally, "Your report corroborates what Captain Ingles and Colonel Peterson said about the situation. Admittedly yours was quite a bit more detailed since you experienced it all first hand."

Mac nodded, though he couldn't see her, "Yes, sir."

General Cresswell grinned at the window, amused at her answer, _"yes, sir" the ubiquitous answer to whatever your CO says when you have no idea how to answer_. He turned back to face her, his grin vanishing. "Have you heard anything about Commander Rabb, Colonel?" He smiled slightly at the surprise on her face, "Captain Ingles mentioned that he was planning to keep you informed."

"Oh. No, sir. Captain Ingles called Wednesday and said they didn't have anything yet. He did mention the CIA was looking as well," Mac frowned slightly as she said that. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate the help but she had a distinct feeling that Webb wasn't offering the help solely out of the goodness of his heart. Nor was she sure he'd do it out of friendship after everything that had happened, there was an ulterior motive there, she knew it. Dismissing the thought from her mind for now she added, "He's supposed to call again later today."

Cresswell nodded, somewhat relieved. That meant that she didn't know about the pictures, at least not yet. In fact, he wasn't sure Captain Ingles would know about them as they'd come through the in country base and been forwarded directly to the states. But then again, if Captain Ingles was keeping tabs on the investigation for her, chances were Colonel Peterson would tell him. And by extension, he'd probably tell her. That wasn't a terribly cheerful thought. Well, there wasn't much he could do about it short of calling Captain Ingles himself and asking the other man not to tell her.

He promptly dismissed that idea, he wouldn't ask the Captain to break his word and lie to the Colonel. He supposed he'd have to settle for the Captain not knowing the specifics of the photos. Of course that meant Mac would be back in his office asking for details. Hopefully he'd have answers by then. Realizing the Colonel was looking at him in concern he nodded again, "Thank you for coming, Colonel, though you didn't need to. I appreciate you bringing all this to my attention."

Mac nodded, "You're welcome, sir. If I may?"

"Of course, you're dismissed. Oh, and Colonel?" She paused in the act of getting up, shooting him a curious glance. He smiled, "How've you been doing?"

Mac sighed and stood, balancing carefully on the crutches, "I've definitely been better, sir."

He chuckled softly at that, "I can imagine. I'll see you in a week then."

She smiled and shook her head, "Sooner than that, sir. I'm sure I'll be back in next week to talk to Commander Turner and Commander Roberts."

"Right, of course."

Mac came to attention and turned to leave. As she did so something caught her eyes. Pausing she glanced at the floor, noticing what appeared to be a photograph lying picture side down just under the edge of the General's desk. It appeared to have drifted off the desk and too the floor. Setting one crutch aside she bent over and snagged the corner. As she straightened she asked, "General, is this yours?" She held out the photograph, unthinkingly turning it face up as she did so.

General Cresswell looked up, he'd just settled back into his chair. His eyes fell on the photo and he stiffened. Slowly he dragged his gaze back up to look at Mac, hoping against hope that she hadn't actually looked at the image. It was definitely a futile hope as the Colonel was standing stock still, staring at the picture of an unconscious Harm in stunned silence. The General sighed and covered his face with his hand for a brief moment. When he lowered his hand he noticed Mac hadn't moved a muscle, still staring uncomprehending at the photograph in her hand.

He watched her carefully, waiting for a reaction. Not receiving one he asked cautiously, "Colonel MacKenzie?" He reached for the picture, hoping to take it back before she dropped it, or threw it at him.

Finally she raised her eyes to meet his, subconsciously pulling the picture closer to her, out of the General's reach. He sighed and lowered his hand, waiting for Mac to speak. She stared at him in silence for a long moment before speaking, her voice quiet and deceptively calm, "What is this?"

The General sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose, _oh yeah, bad day_. "Have a seat, Colonel." He waited until she'd reseated herself then pulled the manila envelope towards him. He gazed at her a long moment, warring with himself about how much to tell her. The look in her eyes made him decide, she wasn't going to leave until he explained, and if she did leave she'd raise hell until she found out what was going on. He answered quietly, "They were delivered this morning, about twenty minutes before you arrived."

"I see," her voice was carefully neutral. She still clutched the picture and her gaze dropped back to it. In it Harm was sprawled on the floor, clearly unconscious. His face was bruised and she could see multiple rips in his shirt, the same beige shirt he'd been wearing when they were captured. His BDU pants were mostly in one piece though quite a bit worse for wear. He sported a week's worth of beard, his hair laying flat with dirt and oil. He looked like he'd been rolled in the dirt, the exposed portions of his skin covered in sweat and sand. Carefully she perused the image, taking in every detail. She wasn't a doctor, couldn't tell the extent of his injuries just by looking at the photo. But she could see some, it was obvious his right arm was broken, his left looked odd but she wasn't sure what was wrong with it. There were spots of blood on both his shirt and pants and his left foot was at a slightly unnatural angle inside his boot. Gently she rested her fingertips on his face, closing her eyes briefly against the tears that threatened. Looking back up she queried, doing her best to speak past the lump in her throat, "You said 'they'?"

General Cresswell nodded slightly, still studying her reaction. She forced a wavering smile, putting as brave of a face on as she could muster, "May I see the others?" He sighed, debating whether to agree or not. Mac's smile faded immediately, her gaze slightly watery with the unshed tears that she couldn't quite force back. Her eyes dropped back to the picture in her lap.

Quietly he pointed out, trying to protect her as best he could, "You won't like them."

She shook her head slightly another slight smile appearing briefly, "No, I'm sure I won't, sir." She met his eyes once more, mustering all the resolve she could. When she spoke again her voice was firm, "But I need to see them, please, sir." He could see the effort it took for her to say it, but he could also see the clear determination in her eyes. He grunted to himself, the people who thought Rabb was the one reacting on emotion obviously hadn't tangled with MacKenzie on anything approaching personal. _Maybe I should revise their files, add a note saying they're both prone to emotional decisions_.

Mac gazed at him steadily, waiting patiently for his answer. After a tense moment the General exhaled resignedly, picking up the envelope. He knew she was going to find out one way or another, at least this way the situation was somewhat controllable. He hoped. Slowly he extended his arm, holding the envelope within her reach. Taking a deep breath she took it, staring blankly it for a long moment.

After another deep breath she flipped the envelope over, sliding the stack of pictures out. There was complete silence as she thumbed through them, stopping every once in a while to study one closer. Cresswell watched her steadily, hands folded on his desk as he waited for her to look at them. She stopped for a long moment at one photo, staring at it dully. It was a close up of Harm's face, before he was unconscious. She could almost feel his blue eyes boring into her own. In his eyes she could see his despair and pain. Her hand trembled as she touched the image, as if touching it would make it vanish. She didn't stop the tear that made its way down her cheek.

Cresswell had no idea how to respond. One part of him wanted to be gruff, remind her that she was a marine. But he could see the pain in her eyes, and he'd have to be blind, deaf, and dumb not to see there was something between the pair. So he sat silently, unsure of what to do and not wanting to exacerbate the situation more. Finally she dragged her gaze back up to meet his eyes. He noticed she kept the picture of Harm's face on top, resting her fingers lightly on it. When she spoke he could hear the emotions that were barely held in check, but her words were clear and firm, "I need to be there, sir."

He narrowed his eyes slightly, "Be where, Colonel?"

"In Iraq, sir. I need to be there when they find him."

He promptly shook his head, "No, you're on medical leave."

"Sir, I have to be there."

"No, Colonel. I'm sorry, but you can't be. You're injured; you aren't cleared for even limited duty. The answer is no," he spoke as firmly as possible, not giving in inch. He was sympathetic but not insane.

He could see the storm brewing in her eyes, this conversation was about to take a downward spiral. She spoke firmly, dead set on getting her way, "Sir, with all due respect, I need to be in Iraq."

"Why? Why do you _need_ to be there so badly, Colonel?"

She half smiled, "He would do the same for me."

"Not good enough, Colonel. There is no way I'm letting you go back to Iraq. You're not cleared for duty."

She sighed, glancing down at the picture again. She seemed to draw strength from it and when she looked back up Cresswell could see the fire simmering in her gaze, "In that case, sir, you'll have my resignation within the hour."

He was shocked, most definitely not the answer he'd been expecting. After a moment he found his voice again, "Excuse me?"

"I need to be there, sir. I _will _be there, and I will resign if necessary. I'll draw up the paperwork right now." She wasn't going to back down. He knew he'd lost this battle, if he didn't let her go she'd quit, if he did, he quite probably endangered her as well as any number of other people. _Damned if I do, damned if I don't_.

Muttering irritably to himself Cresswell scrubbed his face with his hands, this day wasn't just bad, it was turning into a nightmare and it was barely 1100. His voice was testy, he knew this could quite possibly escalate into a full blown argument if he wasn't careful, "I won't let you do that, Colonel."

"You can't stop me, sir."

He leaned back in his chair, gazing at her in blatant irritation. She looked back calmly, face set with determination. Again he asked, "Why?"

He saw the shadow that passed over her expression as she answered quietly, "He did it for me."

Cresswell thought for a moment, mentally reviewing Rabb and MacKenzie's files. He remembered a time in Rabb's where the lawyer had resigned temporarily before his commission was reinstated. Come to think of it, though he hadn't really noticed before, that resignation coincided almost perfectly with a classified mission in MacKenzie's file. Wonderful, now he had two super hero wannabes. He frowned, irritated, "So what do you propose we do here, Colonel?"

Mac smiled slightly, "Permission to speak freely, sir?"

He couldn't resist rolling his eyes, "Of course, I doubt I could stop you, Colonel."

"Thank you. Honestly, I propose you find a way to get me to Iraq, 'cause one way or another, I'm going."

He sighed heavily, "I knew you were going to say that. Fine, any bright ideas?"

She shrugged slightly, "Going over ROEs with the personnel, sir?"

"And where exactly am I to station you? Being on a carrier would be a tad difficult with the leg, and being in country is dangerous, again because of the leg."

She cocked her head at him, "Sir, there's injured personnel over there already, many worse off than me."

"Ugh, fine, I'll talk to Colonel Peterson and Captain Ingles and figure something out. Provided you take it easy, no running off to interview anyone. If you have to speak to someone not on the base or ship you will find some way to make them come to you. You will not do _anything_ remotely strenuous until the doctor approves it and you _will _check in with the doctor regularly. All of this will be in your orders, mind you."

Mac nodded briefly, "Yes, sir."

"Colonel, this is all contingent on whether the doctor at Bethesda will clear you for limited duty. If they won't, you'll stay put, am I clear?"

Mac smiled slightly, "With all due respect, sir, if they don't clear me I'll be resigning."

Cresswell frowned, not at all happy with her answer. "You're dismissed, Colonel, report to Andrews at 1000 tomorrow," he growled.

Mac rose to her feet as quickly as possible, coming to attention, her gaze focusing on the wall, "Aye, aye, sir." Dropping the photos and envelope back on his desk she turned and headed for the door.

Cresswell's voice stopped her in the action of turning the knob, "Mac?" She glanced back at him curiously. He smiled wryly at her, "Bring him home safely, Colonel."

She nodded sharply, "I will, sir." Turning she exited the office, the door shutting quietly behind her. General Cresswell leaned back in his chair, smiling after her in amusement. He hadn't realized just how stubborn she could be, but he approved even if it was an exasperating trait. Shaking off his reverie he reached for the phone, he needed to start placing some overseas calls.


	17. Chapter 17

_Disclaimer: Yeah, don't belong to me, wish they did._

_Ugh, I apologize for the long delay in updating yet again. The hectic level in my life kinda increased exponentially. Unfortunately it's not going to slack off. Updates will continue to be rather sporatic until at least April 25 as I have yet more tests and projects and Aggiecon starts on the 21st. I'll try to update once more before the Con starts. But if I can't get something up by then don't expect one until the 25th 'cause I'll be virutally living on campus to help run the convention. So I apologize in advance if I don't update again for yet another week._

_Thanks to LiseGirardi, SailorGirl97, mjag, froggy, Radiorox, snugglebug, jaka, minorcadence, shirik, Tina Frank, cbw, Disaster Child, zeilfanaat, starryeyes10, eridani, moonlight, martini, MichelleLee, rainydays, Beach chickJASSNL, and anyone else I missed. I really appreciate them, it's nice to read reviews after the insanity that is school. So again, sorry for the delay but unfortunately the bad update schedule will continue for at least a bit longer. Hopefully things will get back on a more normal schedule once the Con is over and all the projects and whatnot have been turned in. On the upside, I found out I leave in August for Air Force Officer Training School, whoop! So anyways, read, review, and enjoy! BTW, rescue is the next chapter.

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**USMC Base Camp, Iraq**

**0100 ZULU**

Mac stepped off the C-130 and glanced around the flight line. It was rather unnerving to be back here so soon after leaving. Moving away from the plane she reflected on the past couple days events. She'd been rather surprised that the General had actually agreed to let her go; she'd been fully prepared to write up and submit her resignation then and there. Shuddering slightly she recalled the look on Harm's face in the picture. Shoving away the thoughts she looked up as someone approached.

She grinned as she recognized Gunny. Making her way towards him she commented, "Reduced to welcoming duty now, Gunny?'

He flashed a smile at her, "I volunteered, Colonel. The doctor wants to see you immediately."

Mac sighed and resisted the urge to roll her eyes, "Of course she does." Gunny laughed, taking her sea bag from the Air Force staff sergeant holding it behind her. Turning he headed for the medical building, glancing over at Mac to make sure she was following. Realizing she wasn't moving as quickly as normal he adjusted his stride, mentally cursing himself for forgetting about her injuries. Mac smiled slightly then asked, "How's the search going, Gunny?"

Gunny frowned, looking forward. His voice was grim, matching his expression, "Nothing yet, ma'am. We thought we had a lead a couple times but they didn't pan out. Mr. Webb called, says he's got the CIA looking also in their spare time."

Mac grimaced, "Yeah, I heard about that."

Gunny glanced over, "Every little bit helps, ma'am." She forced a smile, resolving to ignore her own personal feelings on the subject at least until Harm was found. Gunny hesitated for a moment then asked cautiously, "What are you doing here, Colonel?"

Mac smiled innocently, "Going over Rules of Engagement with the troops, Gunny." The look on his face clearly indicated he didn't believe her. Sighing she lost the smile, glancing down for a brief moment before looking forward again, "I need to be here for Harm, Gunny."

He frowned but didn't reply, instead holding the door to the doctor's open. It took all of five seconds for Doctor Marks to appear, her face set in an expression of clear disapproval. Her voice was firm, "Thank you, Gunnery Sergeant. If you'll wait here I need to speak with Colonel MacKenzie." Gunny nodded, shooting a sympathetic smile at Mac, he definitely didn't want to be on the receiving end of the Captain's ire. Mac smiled faintly back, she wasn't terribly thrilled with the idea of an encounter either. Doctor Marks glanced at her, speaking in exactly polite tones, "If you'll come with me, Colonel."

Mac nodded and followed the doctor. Once in the same room as before Doctor Marks turned with a frown, "I don't agree with this at all."

Mac arched an eyebrow slightly, unsure whether to be amused or insulted as she sat down. After a moment of thought she spoke, trying her best to take everything in stride, "You don't need to agree, Doctor. I'm here now and I'm going to stay here."

Marks huffed, looking at the Colonel irritably. She seemed to decide it wasn't worth arguing about. She glanced down at the chart in her hand, asking calmly, "The doctor at Bethesda cleared you for limited duty?"

Mac smiled tightly, the doctor didn't see the glint in her eyes, "Yes."

"_Colonel, I'm really not sure clearing you is such a good idea. You've been under a lot of stress recently and your ankle has only been in the cast for just over a week," the doctor protested, trying in vain to convince her to stay in the States. He'd been trying for the past hour, phrasing his protests differently each time. He'd listed every reason he could think of for her to stay off duty for at least another week. Nothing had worked, Colonel MacKenzie had simply stared him down, calmly disagreeing with everything he said._

_With fraying patience Mac disagreed again, trying to remain as polite as possible, "Doctor, I'm fine. I will be cleared or I'll quite simply no longer be under your jurisdiction."_

_The doctor blinked, confused, "Excuse me, ma'am?"_

_Mac permitted herself a slight smile, "If you don't clear me, I'll be resigning. One way or another I'm getting over there, through you or around you, either works for me."_

_With a frustrated sigh the doctor threw up his hands, "Fine, I'll clear you for limited duty. But there will be a list of restrictions! And you will report to the doctor every day you're there, if there is a problem the doctor will immediately have you sent back to the US."_

_Mac smirked, "Whatever you say, Commander."_

_Muttering in frustration the doctor wrote out the clearance, he wasn't appreciative of being bullied. It didn't help that a two star general had called earlier to "discuss" the Colonel's medical clearance. Thrusting the paperwork at Mac the doctor stalked out. Mac watched him go with an amused smile. She glanced down at the papers, skimming them quickly to make sure there wasn't anything there that wasn't supposed to be._

Doctor Marks glanced back up with a sigh, "Very well, Colonel. I'll want to do a check up on you every day though. I assume you brought your crutches with you as well?"

Mac nodded, "Of course, doctor." At Marks' nod Mac stood and headed back out to where Gunny was waiting, leaving a rather annoyed doctor behind her. She found Gunny conversing quietly near the exit with a corporal. Mac was about halfway across the room when the corporal nodded then left. Gunny glanced up and smiled when he saw her. She could see a slight difference in his attitude now. He seemed somewhat more cheerful and confident than he had when she'd left to speak with the doctor. She frowned slightly, wondering what the corporal had told him.

When she was within a comfortable speaking distance Gunny spoke quietly, his voice tense with restrained excitement, "Ma'am, we think we have a lead on the Commander."

Mac felt as if her heart had stopped beating for a moment before it began to race. Taking a deep breath she stopped in front of him, asking as calmly as she could, "Where?"

"We don't know the specifics yet, but there's been a report from a CIA agent. I'm going to go and get the full report now, care to join me?"

Mac grinned, "You couldn't stop me, Gunny."

He chuckled and opened the door, automatically standing out of the way for her to exit first before following. Outside he motioned towards a nearby building, "This way, ma'am." She nodded and fell in beside him, consciously controlling her breathing in an attempt to slow her heart rate. The sun was beginning to peek over the horizon, gradually lighting the compound. She looked around, watching the various military personnel stride past, intent on whatever their goals were. Mac hadn't really paid much attention to it all the first time she'd been here, more intent on getting to the doctor and then reporting to the Colonel.

Seeing Gunny suddenly stop out of the corner of her eye she glanced over at him then up, registering that they'd reached the building. She'd managed to calm down a bit during the brief walk, having momentarily distracted herself from the knowledge of a possible lead on Harm. However, now faced with the sudden prospect of actually hearing the report she felt nervous. Realizing Gunny was watching her in concern she smiled slightly and walked through the door he was holding open.

Inside a sergeant and the corporal from the medical center waited, along with another man dressed in local garb. The two marines promptly came to attention. Mac nodded an acknowledgement, "As you were." She studied the civilian for a moment, there was something slightly off about him but she couldn't quite place it. Gunny entered the building behind her and closed the door. Glancing over her shoulder Mac moved further into the room, allowing Gunny to step past her.

Gunny glanced around, nodding briefly to the civilian, "Mr. Smith." Mac abruptly realized that the other man was the CIA agent that had been previously mentioned. She shook her head slightly to herself annoyed that she hadn't figured it out sooner. Moving to the table in the center of the room gunny, leaned a hip against it and crossed his arms casually. "So, what has the CIA heard this time?"

Mac shot him a glance but stayed silent, waiting to hear what the man had to say. She didn't miss the distinct difference in tone from when he'd spoken earlier. At the doctor's he'd seemed excited, optimistic about the news. Now he was cool and distant, Mac could sense a sudden reserve in him. She suspected previous leads from the CIA had been amongst those to fail rather spectacularly. Focusing her attention on the man she waited for his answer to Victor's question.

The agent smiled slightly, speaking coolly, a clear north eastern accent coming through, "I was in a village, looking for someone when I heard mention of a secretive group holed up a short distance away. Apparently this group only appeared, by truck, about a week and a half ago. They don't leave their building and drive away anyone who gets near. The direction these trucks came from coincides with the general direction the buildings the Colonel and Lieutenant escaped from."

Gunny frowned; it had the potential to be the correct location. But so had every other lead they'd received and so far none had worked out. He was still pondering his response when Mac spoke up, an odd look on her face, "Where is this village located?"

The man glanced at her then did a double take, clearly shocked. He was silent for a moment before responding, "Colonel MacKenzie? I thought you were in the US on medical leave."

She frowned irritably, "Yes, now answer the question."

He blinked, surprised at her animosity. He had assumed she would be somewhat amenable to CIA involvement given her past association with the agency in general and Webb in particular. Seeing the sudden flash of anger in her eyes at his hesitation he shook off his preoccupation and answered, "About eighty miles east of here, give or take."

Mac looked at the corporal, slipping instantly into the comfortable skin of superior officer, "I need a map, ASAP." The young man nodded and immediately left the room, heading deeper into the building. He reappeared within minutes, a detailed map of the surrounding area in hand. Spreading it out over the table he looked up at her questioningly.

Mac moved to the table, studying the map for a moment. Gunny watched her curiously but didn't interfere. The sergeant and corporal looked puzzled but were silent, not wishing to question such a high ranking officer. Especially not a fellow marine who'd managed to escape captivity, they respected her too much to speak. The agent however, had no such compunction. Stepping to her side he frowned, "What's going on?"

She ignored him, pointing to a spot on the map, "There."

The agent glanced down at the map in surprise, nodding, "Yes, that's the location of the village." He looked up at her, eyes narrowed in consideration, "How did you know?"

Still ignoring him Mac looked over at Gunny who was watching thoughtfully. She spoke quietly, voice taught with command, "We need to go there, Gunny. That's where Harm is."

Gunny frowned slightly; he'd heard rumors of the Colonel's sudden flashes in relation to cases and clearly remembered her reaction to Harm's disappearance a few years back. It was rather an odd way to do business but he trusted her too much to disagree. Nodding slightly he glanced at the sergeant, "Sergeant, get the squad ready to move out immediately." He glanced back at Mac, cocking his head slightly. He was about to ask how certain she was but stopped himself when he remembered the CIA agent was still there. Though he was certain this would get back to the agency headquarters Gunny wasn't about to add to that report. Instead he said, "If he is there, ma'am, we'll bring him back."

She shook her head slightly, "I'm going with you."

He shook his head immediately, "I can't allow you to do that, ma'am. You're still wounded."

Mac frowned and he saw the stubborn set of her jaw. Gunny sighed inwardly; this wasn't going to go well. "I'm going, Gunny."

"Ma'am…" he tried to protest but was cut off.

"Gunny, I'm going with you. That's an order."

He sighed and came to attention. His voice was stiff when he answered, "Yes, ma'am." Turning sharply on his heel he strode out of the building, perfectly precise, the corporal on his heels.

Mac sighed and turned back to the map, staring at it quietly. She knew he was there, the instant the agent had mentioned the village she'd felt an instant recognition. As soon as he described the location she'd known for certain that Harm was there. And she knew he was alive. But she had a bad feeling that if they didn't get there soon, he wouldn't be alive for much longer.

She could feel the agent's eyes on her. Glancing over at him she arched an eyebrow curiously, silently waiting for him to speak. After a moment he did, "How do you know that's where the Commander is? We're not even certain he's there."

Smiling slightly she stated simply, "I just know." With that she nodded briefly to the man then left. Once outside she breathed a sigh of relief. Mac felt much more comfortable once she was no longer in the presence of the CIA agent. Though she figured this particular agent probably didn't have any secret agenda concerning her or Harm, she couldn't help but link him to Webb. Glancing around, she spotted Gunny and his men gearing up nearby.

Gunny spotted her come out and trotted up clearly upset. He came to attention in front of her, "Colonel, we're just about ready to move out."

Mac looked at him for a moment, "Gunny, I'm not going to do anything foolish. Give me a vest and a pistol; I'll stay in the humvee until everything is clear." She paused and studied his reaction, he still wasn't happy. She glanced away for a moment, staring off across the base. Finally she spoke softly, "Gunny, I need to be there for him." She looked back at him, "I have to be."

He looked at her for a moment then nodded, his expression softening slightly, "Yes, ma'am. I'll have Corporal Miller get gear for you. It will be waiting at the first humvee."

She nodded slightly, "Thank you, Gunny." He nodded back, then turned and headed back to his squad, leaving Mac to follow at her own pace. Taking one last look around the base Mac headed after him, steadfastly ignoring the dull ache in her foot. She knew she should probably be using her crutches and not just the walking cast. However, she couldn't bring herself to do so, knowing that if she were to use them she most definitely would not be allowed to go on the retrieval. She couldn't bear the thought of not being there when they found Harm.


	18. Chapter 18

_Disclaimer: Yeah... still don't belong to me, be nice if they did, wouldn't have to take Automata now would I?_

_Ok! So because I love you all so much... well actually... to keep you all from ganging up on me and drawing and quartering me... :-P j/k Anyways, here's the chapter, yay rescue as promised! I managed to get it written at the cost of my homework, which would've probably lost out to Aggiecon anyways. Poor homework, it always gets the shaft. :-P But seriously, trust me when I say you didn't want me to continue writing on that last chapter. If I had I would've ended up writing incoherent gibberish which I don't think y'all really wanted to read, unless you like ramblings about computer science and Aggiecon... yeah, didn't think so._

_But anyways, enough of that. Thanks to Beach chickJASSNL, EternalSleep, snugglebug, mjag, eridani, shirik, Disaster Child, minorcadence, Strawberrywine, jaggurl, zeilfanaat, froggy, Spookyjagfan, Brittany, Baileysmom, and anyone else I missed! And thanks for the well wishes about the Air Force, I know I'm excited. :-D Just gotta get through grad, only three more weeks! I'm thrilled that people are reading this and enjoying it so much, it really makes my day. Now, next update will be next week some time since Con starts in the morning and well, Aggiecon will be my life for a while. Oh yes, and chapter 17 has been revised to reflect a fact that Strawberrywine pointed out. I couldn't remember whether Gunny had been there so I decided to err on the side of caution. But that's been fixed now! Anyways, enough of my ramblings. Thanks again to everyone reading! So read, review, and enjoy!

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**80 Miles East of Base Camp**

**0300 ZULU**

Mac had felt the knot in her stomach grow with every mile closer to their destination they drew. She knew that Harm was there, and she knew he was still alive. She didn't know what they'd have to do to get him back, however, and that worried her. She thought she might feel more comfortable if she could actually get images of him like she had before. But either her psychic senses didn't feel like working in that way at the moment or there was nothing to see. She was half hoping for the former, unsure of what the latter would mean.

The village was coming into view, gradually growing ahead of the humvees. Mac could feel herself tense. The building that held Harm and an unknown number of insurgents was on the other side of the village. Barely close enough to the village to be included in the outskirts. It meant the humvees would be rather exposed but there was no hope for it. Marines were already prepping their M16s, double checking that rounds were chambered and gun barrels clear. A few were balanced carefully on the backs of the humvees, rifles at the ready to provide cover fire.

It was a sketchy solution at best but it was the only one they had. Following suit Mac checked her pistol before replacing it in the holster. She felt a lot more comfortable armed and wearing a vest. The presence of the marines helped too though she couldn't help but feel a tingle of nervousness at going deliberately back to the people she'd escaped from in the first place. Sighing she tried to ignore the nerves, shooting a small smile at Gunny when she noticed him watching her.

All too soon they were in the village. Despite the still early hour even here there were people coming out to watch curiously. Mac looked at the children and other citizens as they passed, feeling her heart go out to them. She knew the agent, Mr. Smith, was somewhere in another humvee and hoped that whatever he'd been doing in this village benefited the people somehow. Mac heard the marines bracing themselves, slides racking back and the general low clatter of gear.

Then they were exiting the village proper. Mac could clearly see the building now. A single story it stood a decent distance away from the rest of the buildings. Three trucks were parked in front. All looked decidedly worse for wear but she suspected they were perfectly capable of running. There were a few men outside, all of whom spun to face the approaching humvees. She watched as their rifles snapped up to their shoulders. _Something tells me they aren't the welcoming committee_. Sure enough, they opened fired on the marines as soon as they were in range.

Mac pulled out her pistol, adding to the chaos and racket of gunfire as the two sides exchanged bullets. She could see more men appearing from inside the building. Most didn't make it to the trucks, mowed down as they came through the door. The humvees had split up and marines were hopping out, jogging towards the building. She could see a few injured marines but none looked terribly hurt. Apparently the insurgents' aim went all to hell when they were surprised. Not that she was complaining, it certainly made things easier for the Americans.

As promised she stayed in the vehicle, though she stood and leaned against the windshield frame, using it both as a brace for her body as well as her arms. The humvee was still at least a hundred feet away when the last insurgent dropped. The trucks all came to a stop. By this point they'd spread out into a perfect cordon, spaced exactly right to keep anyone from leaving. The drivers of the four humvees remained in place. One humvee also had an injured marine who had taken a shot to the leg and was unable to walk. The remaining eight marines were swiftly checking the trucks and the bodies.

Mac remained standing in the front of the humvee, leaning heavily against the windshield. She yearned to join the marines on the ground in entering but wouldn't break her word to Gunny. She watched in tense silence as the marines moved towards the entrance after securing the area. Without thought she ejected the spent clip from her pistol and slammed another in place, automatically racking back the slide to chamber a round.

Silently Gunny signaled his men forward, framing the door. The marines braced themselves and he nodded, giving the sign for them to enter. Immediately the door was slammed inward, the marines pouring through, rifles held steady to their shoulders. There was no one in immediate sight. Slowly they moved forward, stopping at each door to check rooms. Two doors in they encountered more resistance inside of a small room that appeared to be their command room. The first marine through the door collapsed heavily to the ground. The next two barreled in, rifles already firing as they took out the three men inside.

Swiftly a sergeant knelt next to the fallen man. Glancing up at Gunny he nodded slightly, the corporal was alive but just. Quietly Gunny ordered two other marines to get the wounded man out. Softly he ordered them to take the wounded marine still outside and head back to base in a humvee, getting the men to medical attention as quickly as possible. The remaining marines waited in silence until the one of the corporals returned. The medical helo had been contacted and was on it's way from where it'd been waiting.

With a nod the group continued forward. Briefly Gunny wondered how the Colonel was handling being stuck outside in the humvee. He was fully expecting an earful at a future date but if they managed to get the Commander out and in one piece, he was willing to listen to it. Sighing and dismissing the distracting thoughts from his mind he edged forward, carefully working his way through the building, his men close behind.

There were a few more skirmishes as the marines moved. Gunny estimated they'd taken out at least dozen men. The Colonel's report had indicated there were at least another half dozen involved. So far there was nothing to definitively indicate that the place was being used as a prison for a naval officer. Of course, there was nothing to indicate it wasn't either. Fortunately the building wasn't terribly large and it didn't take too long for the marines to secure most of it. The problem was, now there were only two rooms left and quite possibly as many insurgents as marines.

Gunny held up a hand, stopping the marines. He sighed softly, running through various scenarios in his mind. Too many of them resulted in a large number of marine deaths. Briefly he considered tossing grenades through the doors then swiftly banished it upon the realization that he could easily take out the Commander as well as the bad guys. He leaned his head back against the wall, overall things were going well but this endgame was not something he wanted to face. There was too great of a risk of losing everything. He studied the remaining two doors. Both were closed and looked virtually identical. Sighing again he concluded they had no real choice; they had to forge on as best they could.

Pointing at two of his men he motioned them to take up positions on the other side of the closest door. Two others crouched on the near side. Gunny took up position to kick in the door, motioning the remaining to marines to take up cover positions facing the second door. He didn't want them caught completely off guard should the men pop out of the further door instead of this one. When everyone was in position he glanced around, receiving nods and all set hand signals from his men.

Giving his men a sharp nod he waited for five seconds, allowing the marines to brace their rifles. Once ready he slammed his booted foot into the door. The first attempt was unsuccessful, the door shaking heavily on its hinges. Adjusting his aim slightly he slammed his foot into the door again, this time striking right near the lock. The door creaked and shook slightly in the frame. As the second kick resounded down the hallway the other door burst open. Two men leapt out, firing randomly down the hallway.

Smoothly the marines pressed themselves to the walls, crouching and forming as small of targets as possible. They returned fire, taking out one of the men immediately and wounding the other. More men appeared, these more cautious, using the doorway as cover. The marines on the far side were both at an advantage and disadvantage. They had a clearer line of fire towards the insurgents, but by the same token they were more exposed. One marine cried out, falling back as he was hit in the shoulder. One of the marines hanging back by the door leapt forward to cover him as the other grabbed the injured man and hauled him back.

The fire fight continued, the remaining insurgent in the hallway falling after a few more seconds. They saw one man fall from the doorway only to be replaced by another. Gunny snarled mentally, he couldn't even throw a grenade for fear that the Commander was in the other room with them. Setting himself he joined the fight, aiming as carefully as possible. Slowly the marines moved forward, two remaining behind to cover their rear and to watch the first door. Gunny sincerely hoped this was the right choice, because if anyone came out of that second room, their chances of survival decreased dramatically. His gut was telling him it was safe to bypass the first room for now but still he worried.

As the marines moved another was hit, slumping against the wall. Gunny spared him a glance but they couldn't afford to stop now. Moving as quickly as possible they continued, firing continuously. Another insurgent fell. _Two left… I hope_, Gunny thought. If there were more than just the half dozen left that they Colonel remembered things were going to get hairier. Another marine was hit, leaving three to continue forward versus two insurgents in the room.

Fortunately as they continued their line of fire got better. Suddenly the remaining insurgents came boiling out of the room. Instantly the marines froze, concentrating their fire, the marines still behind joining in. Within seconds it was over, leaving the Americans standing in a daze. As the smoke cleared it became obvious that the only people left standing were marines. Letting out a relieved sigh Gunny motioned his men forward; they had to check that room.

It was empty except for a couple bodies of insurgents that the marines had killed. Swiftly checking the bodies the marines moved back out. A private stopped to check the marine that had been hit during the drive forward. Glancing up at Gunny he shook his head, dead. Gunny dropped his head, feeling the weight of his mission falling heavily on his shoulders. "Take him outside." The private nodded and glanced at a fellow marine. Immediately they picked up their comrade and headed towards the front. Gunny pinched the bridge of his nose and moved back to the marines still stationed at the first door. The other that had been shot was merely wounded, unable to use his right arm but alive.

Reaching the first door again Gunny took a deep breath. The Commander had to be on the other side, Gunny only hoped he was still alive. Bracing himself he slammed the heel of his boot into the door again, smiling in satisfaction when the wood around the lock splintered. One more kick caused the door to spring inward. Light poured into the small room on the other side. The rectangle of light fell across a single still body curled up on the floor.

Allowing his M16 to drop to his side, Gunny hurried into the room. He crouched next to the figure, gently rolling him to his back. Despite the gaunt appearance and beard Gunny recognized Commander Rabb immediately. Carefully he felt for a pulse, holding his own breath until he saw the Commander's chest rise slightly. Beneath his fingers he could feel a weak pulse. Turning he ordered, "Help me get him up! Corporal, take Scotts outside and call the medical helo! And someone tell the Colonel we found him!"

The marines scattered to do their job, one jumping forward to help support Harm. The Commander's eyelashes fluttered briefly and Gunny felt him try weakly to struggle. As if the small effort had worn him out Harm slipped almost immediately into unconsciousness. Gunny frowned slightly, despite the fact that the Commander was dead weight it took hardly any effort for the two marines to support him. Glancing over Harm's bowed head Gunny nodded slightly and they began to move forward. He'd thought about carrying him across his shoulders like bodies usually were, but with the Commander's injuries he wasn't willing to risk it.

Outside Mac paced next to the humvee. Her ankle was beginning to throb but she barely noticed; all her thoughts focused on the man being rescued from the building. When she'd heard the gunfire earlier her heart had leapt into her throat. Despite the fact that the firing had stopped her heart hadn't dropped. Her gut was a huge knot that wouldn't relax and her mind raced. She still held her M9 in her right hand, reluctant to put it away until the marines inside had declared it all clear. The fact that previously a wounded marine had been sent out didn't help settle her nerves at all.

Her head jerked up as she heard a commotion from the doorway. The pistol was halfway up when she realized it was the marines. One was carrying another across his shoulders while another was speaking rapidly on the radio. She searched for Gunny or Harm but didn't see them. Her heart dropped and started racing. Worse case scenarios began vying for her attention. As rapidly as possible she moved towards the door, stopping a marine, "The Gunny?"

"On his way out, ma'am. He said to tell you that they found the Commander."

Mac let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. Nodding she forced herself to respond with an even voice, "Thank you, private." The young man saluted, upon receiving a return salute he hurried off to the humvees. Mac continued to hover around the door, waiting anxiously. A few agonizing minutes later Gunny and the other marine appeared, Harm hanging limply between them. Mac fairly leapt forward, reaching towards Harm. "Is he…?"

Gunny nodded slightly, still moving forward, "Yes, ma'am. But barely, he needs medical attention immediately."

Mac felt the knot in her stomach ease slightly, he was alive and safe. She paced alongside Gunny, wishing she could help with Harm and knowing her ankle would probably collapse under her if she tried. She kept her gaze focused on her partner, fearing to look away. Though she'd known he was here, somehow she couldn't quite believe that they really had found him. It was his crash all over again, only this time so much worse. The week since her escape and his subsequent continuing capture had tortured her. Almost as much as the words she'd last said to him had run through her mind. She'd told him she loved him, but she hadn't let herself remain long enough to hear his answer. At the time she'd taken his hesitation as his answer, and left, protecting herself from the actual words.

Many times over the week she'd cursed herself for doing so. It had tormented her not knowing his answer. But at the moment she realized it didn't matter. All that mattered was that he was safe and here in front of her once more. She waited impatiently as the two men set Harm on the ground gently, in the shade of a truck. Immediately she sat next to him. Slowly she reached out and brushed the hair back from his forehead, her hand trembling. She didn't notice Gunny leave her side, murmuring intently into his radio. Briefly Harm stirred, seemingly warring with himself, part of him wanting to move into her hand and part of him trying to pull away. It broke her heart.

"Ma'am, the medical helo is about to land. They'll take the Commander back to base," Gunny spoke quietly nearby, causing her to jump. She blinked up at him, just then registering the increasing thump of a helicopter. Nodding she stood slowly, smiling gratefully at Gunny when he grabbed her elbow to help her up. She looked up as the helo landed, navy men jumping off and sprinting over, carrying a stretcher. They barely acknowledged hers or Gunny's presence, intent on reaching the Commander.

She listened, nonplussed, to the rapid fire exchange of medical orders and terminology. A few short minutes later they had Harm on the stretcher, an oxygen mask over his face. As soon as he was situated they hurried back to the helo, handing him aboard before leaping in also. Mac had started forward, meaning to go with Harm when the helo lifted off, heading back to base. She watched it go, her heart twisting. She couldn't lose him, not now after she'd finally gotten him back. Looking over at Gunny she snapped out, not really caring how she sounded at the moment, "Let's go, Gunny."

He nodded briskly, choosing not to take offense at her tone, understanding in a small part how she must be feeling. Turning he shouted out orders and the marines piled into the humvees. Mac pulled herself into the front seat of the nearest, barely settling into place before they started off. Her thoughts were with Harm, praying for all she was worth that he would live.


	19. Chapter 19

_Disclaimer: erm, don't belong to me and all that jazz_

_The Con is dead, long live the Con. Sorry it took so long again for the update. You know... I keep saying that... depressing isn't it? Anyways, life's been rather hectic what with Aggiecon, graduation stuff, Air Force stuff, homework, etc. so I haven't had a lot of time to write. I tried to write during Con, I really did but the downside of being an officer is that you have to do all sorts of crap. Anyways, thanks to froggy, jaka, mjag, snugglebug, LiseGirardi, zeilfanaat, minorcadence, martini, eridani, Disaster Child, MichelleLee, TomcatGM, rainydays, Brittany, Radiorox, SailorGirl, starryeyes, jaggurl, Beach chick, harmfan, Dutchgirl, and anyone else I missed for the reviews, they're awesome!_

_So here's the new chapter, longer than previous ones. Partly 'cause I feel bad for not updating and partly 'cause I'm too lazy to break it into two. Anywho, read, review, and enjoy! I'm off to do... homework and sleep... maybe... stupid last week of school. Edited for some typos.

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**USMC Base Camp**

**0430 ZULU**

Mac sat tensely in the front seat of the humvee, gripping the side. The vehicle had barely stopped moving before she was out of it, ignoring the pain in her ankle as she headed for medical. Everything in her was urging her to get to Harm's side as quickly as possible. She pulled up short when she heard her name, "Colonel MacKenzie!"

Mac winced slightly, she recognized that voice. Slowly she turned around, coming to attention as she faced Colonel Peterson, base CO. The Colonel eyed her for a moment, "Colonel… you were on base less than an hour before promptly leaving again with a squad of my marines. If I'm correct, that is somewhat against your orders."

She nodded slightly, refusing to apologize for doing what she'd had to, "Yes, sir."

Colonel Peterson's lips twitched slightly. He didn't really blame her for her actions; after all she was a marine. But then again, she had disobeyed orders, somewhat obliquely but disobeyed them nonetheless. However, it was out of his hands for which he was grateful, he didn't want to have to punish the Lt. Colonel for going after her partner. He fixed her with a firm look before nodding briefly, "I see. Well, General Cresswell will have to deal with it. You have new orders to Naples."

Mac blinked, "Excuse me, sir? I…"

He cut her off calmly, "You want to stay near the Commander. Yes, I'm aware of that, Colonel. Commander Rabb has been transferred to the hospital at Naples. He's already left."

She froze for a moment, feeling goose bumps run up her spine at the thought. Finally she nodded slightly, "Yes, sir."

Peterson handed her a piece of paper, "Your orders. You're in charge of the Commander's safety and welfare. Your plane leaves in forty five minutes."

"Yes, sir. Sir… do you know Commander Rabb's condition?"

He shook his head regretfully, a look of sorrow passing over his face. He answered softly, "I'm not sure, Colonel. Doctor Marks would have the specifics."

Mac grimaced, just the person she didn't want to talk to. Sighing she nodded slightly, "Thank you, sir."

He nodded, "Good luck, Colonel, and congratulations." Peterson flashed a brief smile then left after returning her salute. Mac watched him leave then glanced down at the paper in her hand, letting out a slow breath of relief. Well, she was out of trouble for the moment. Of course that would only last until she actually talked to the General.

She glanced up as Gunny approached, forcing a slight smile, "Gunny. How are your men?"

He sighed heavily, "One dead, one currently in surgery. The other two injured will be fine, one got hit in the leg and the other in the shoulder but they'll recover fully."

Mac dipped her head briefly, she hated that this had been the result. She wanted Harm free and well with all her heart but she hadn't ever wished any more Americans would die to do it. When she raised her head again Gunny could read the sadness in her eyes, "I'm sorry."

He shook his head slightly, "Don't be. We knew what we were getting into, when we volunteered for the mission to save the Commander we knew we could die. We felt it worth the risk."

Mac sighed softly. She glanced away briefly before meeting Gunny's eyes again, "I know, still, I'm sorry. I hoped it would not result in this. Your men didn't deserve to die any more than Harm did."

Gunny nodded, smiling gratefully, "I know, and we appreciate the sentiment, ma'am." He glanced down, noticing the paper in her hand for the first time, "What's that?"

She followed his gaze then raised the page slightly, glancing at it, "Orders to Naples, to "take command" of Commander Rabb. I leave in 38 minutes."

Gunny smiled, "Well then I'll let you catch your plane. Take care of him, ma'am. And give him our greetings and well wishes, please?"

"Of course, Gunny. Thank you for all your help, I appreciate it and I'm sure Harm will also. Keep me posted on the status of your men?"

"Yes, ma'am." Gunny saluted then turned crisply on his heel and left to be with his men once more. Mac watched him go before turning to head towards the flight line. Along with way she met a young airman carrying her bag and crutches. Gratefully she took the crutches, happy to take the weight off her ankle. In silence she followed the airman to the waiting plane. She climbed aboard and waited tensely, she wanted to be with Harm now, not in a few hours.

**NSA Naples**

**US Naval Hospital**

**0830 ZULU**

Mac stepped out of the car in front of the hospital. She glanced around and took a deep breath. She felt vaguely giddy; soon she would be with Harm again. Entering the hospital she made a beeline for the front desk. Stopping she asked as calmly as she could manage, "Can you tell me where Commander Harmon Rabb is?"

The nurse glanced up and smiled briefly before turning her attention to the computer screen in front of her. She tapped a few keys and looked back up at Mac, "He's in surgery, ma'am. Third floor, the elevators are just over there." She pointed to a bank of elevators to Mac's right.

Mac nodded, "Thank you." Turning, she moved as swiftly as she could to the elevators, punching the up button and waiting impatiently. Returning the nod of the Naval Captain who entered the elevator with her she sighed softly and watched the numbers light up. She couldn't help but be vaguely angered by the large number of people wearing naval uniforms. Though it was an irrational thought, she felt somewhat bitter towards them for being free and able to wear those uniforms, oblivious to how much her own partner had gone through.

Shaking her head slightly she got off at the appropriate floor and looked around. Immediately she headed down the corridor to her left, following the signs that pointed to surgery. Turning the corner she stopped short at the sight in front of her. Frowning she continued forward, trying her best to ignore the man standing in the small waiting area. Unfortunately he wasn't going to oblige. Turning he grinned, moving towards her, "Sarah."

Mac sighed and stopped again, looking over. Her voice was cool and collected, "Clay. What are you doing here?" She watched him steadily, expression carefully neutral.

He shrugged slightly, glancing around casually as he answered, "Seeing as it was one of us who found him, and he is a friend, I felt it only logical to be here myself."

She didn't believe him for a moment. Silently she studied Clay for a moment. After a moment she commented neutrally, "I see."

"Come on, Sarah. A guy can't stop by to make sure his friend is going to stay alive?"

Mac didn't answer, instead turning to face the doorway as it opened. A doctor stepped out, glancing around quickly. Mac stepped over, asking anxiously, "Commander Rabb?"

The doctor frowned slightly, "He's been moved to ICU. He's taken quite a beating, ma'am. Do you know what happened to him?"

Mac closed her eyes briefly, forcing down the tears that threatened. Opening them again she stated quietly, "He was a prisoner for over a week."

The doctor sighed, "I see, thank you." He turned to reenter the surgery room.

Mac frowned and asked, "When can I see him?"

Turning back slightly the doctor replied, "Maybe later."

"How much later?"

"I don't know, ma'am. If you would like you may wait in the waiting area outside of ICU." With that the doctor turned and vanished through the door, leaving Mac glaring after him. Muttering under her breath Mac turned also and stalked towards ICU as best she could. Despite the crutches the look on her face was more than enough to cause people to give her a wide berth. Clay sighed and rolled his eyes, following her down the hallway.

Reaching the new waiting room Mac turned back to Clay, eyes glinting with anger, "So why are you really here, Clay?"

"I told you, Sarah, I'm here to see how Harm is."

"Why don't I believe you?"

"I don't know," he ground out, getting annoyed. Admittedly he had other reasons but damnit why couldn't she accept what he was saying? It wasn't like he didn't want to see that Harm was alright. He sighed, "Look, Sarah, I asked the others to look for him because Harm is a friend of mine, and I'm here because I want to see that he's alright, ok?"

She arched an eyebrow, "Ok." It was clear she didn't believe him but chose not to push the topic for now. Mac turned her head as someone approached. Seeing it was a doctor she turned completely around, "Doctor? Do you know anything about Commander Rabb?"

The doctor stopped and looked at her for a moment before glancing down at the clipboard in his hand. After a moment he glanced back up and asked, "Yes, he's in ICU. Who are you?"

Mac frowned slightly, "Lieutenant Colonel MacKenzie, Commander Rabb is my partner."

"I see; then perhaps you could tell us who we should contact about his condition?"

"You can tell me."

"Are you a relative?"

"No…" Mac was beginning to get irritated; she wanted to know his condition.

"Then I'm sorry, ma'am. All I can tell you is that he's in critical condition but stable for now."

Clay stepped forward, "Doctor, I'm Clayton Webb, CIA, could you please tell us exactly what's wrong with him?"

The doctor redirected his gaze from Mac to Clay, clearly even less impressed with the CIA agent then he had been with the Colonel. He could at least respect the fellow officer, but he had little use for civilians who thought they were important. But still his voice was calm as he asked, "Are you a relative?"

Clay blinked, "What? No."

"Then I can't tell you any more than I can tell the Colonel. If you'll excuse me I need to return to the Commander." Mac watched the doctor leave irritably. Clay seemed vaguely shocked; as if he couldn't quite comprehend that his status as part of the CIA had not gained him more information. And he disliked intensely the fact that he'd been so casually dismissed in front of Mac.

The doctor entered the hospital room with a sad sigh; it always pained him to be unable to tell people anything. He could tell that Colonel was very concerned, but he wasn't permitted to say anything. Not that there was much to tell. The doctor gazed at the patient stretched out in the bed in front of him, nearly every part of him covered in either bandages or casts. Frowning, the doctor swiftly moved to the Commander's side as Harm's heart rate abruptly began to increase.

Harm wasn't sure where he was. He drifted in and out of consciousness and was vaguely aware of the fact that he was warm and more pain free than he'd been in weeks. But his mind couldn't seem to process the change. He was terrified that it was simply a dream, that the feeling of safety was an illusion bound to disappear as soon as he awoke. Desperately he clung to the one memory that had kept him going. Softly he groaned, trying to move and finding himself unable to. His fuzzy mind began to panic.

His heart rate and breathing increased more, his eyes moving rapidly behind the lids. Harm moaned softly, desperately, "Sarah!" Softly the doctor tried speaking to him, stopping abruptly as he realized the sound of his voice was making it worse. Rapidly he called the nurse, trying his best to calm the Commander in the meanwhile. When the nurse came in he spouted rapid fire orders, calling for help in keeping the Commander immobile. After a few moments Harm began to calm as the memories faded for the moment.

Letting out a slow breath the doctor leaned back, relaxing slightly. This was the third time that had happened. A thought struck him and he glanced towards the door with a thoughtful frown. Coming to a decision he told the nurse to watch Harm before turning and heading back out to the waiting area. As the door opened Mac's head shot up and she took an immediate step forward. Stopping in front of her the doctor paused for a moment, ordering his thoughts. After a moment he spoke, sensing the swiftly growing impatience in the marine officer, "I'm Doctor Williams, ma'am." He paused again before plunging forward, "Do you know anyone named 'Sarah'? The Commander has been asking for someone by that name."

A sharp intake of breath was heard from Clay. Williams glanced at him curiously, puzzled by the reaction. Dismissing it he returned his attention to Mac, waiting for her answer. He could tell from her expression she knew who he meant. Softly she replied, "There's a couple, myself and his grandmother."

The doctor cocked his head, "Yourself?"

Mac's lips quirked in a slight smile, "Lt. Colonel Sarah MacKenzie."

"Ah. Well it's worth a try," the doctor murmured absently.

"Doctor?"

"Oh sorry," smiling slightly he jerked himself back to the present. "The Commander is becoming agitated, calling for Sarah. I hope your presence might calm him."

"Of course," without hesitation Mac began limping to the door to Harm's room.

The doctor frowned after her, "Ma'am, are you alright?"

She stopped, glancing over her shoulder at him with an irritated frown, "Fine."

He sighed, realizing she wouldn't let him do anything for her whether she needed it or not. Or at least she wouldn't allow him to help her until after she had seen the Commander. Shaking his head to himself he moved forward, opening the door to the room for her. Clay took that opportunity to speak up, clearly annoyed, "What about me?"

Both stopped dead. Mac blinked and glanced over at him, obviously having momentarily forgotten he was there. She was saved from answering by the doctor who spoke firmly, "You will stay out here."

"Yet you're letting her in."

"Only because I feel it would be in the best interests of my patient. _Your _presence however is not required." He looked back at Mac, dismissing the CIA agent once more, "Ma'am." Nodding slightly she entered the room, only barely noticing as the doctor closed the door behind her.

She stood frozen in place for a long moment, gazing at the man in the bed before her. His chest was almost completely wrapped in bandages. She could just make out the edges of the tape beneath the wrapping, where nearly all his ribs were taped. His right arm was lifted above the bed, resting in a sling, covered from mid-bicep to hand in a cast. His other hand rested on his stomach, bicep wrapped also. Harm's left wrist was also in a cast, though a much smaller one than adorned his right arm.

His right leg also hung in a sling, foot and calf covered in yet another cast. She could make out more bandages swathing his left leg nearly completely. A blanket was draped across his stomach and upper legs. They'd cut his hair into a standard military hair style and shaved off the beard. He looked so much more like the Harm she knew, and yet he looked so different. She could see the purple bruise spreading across his left cheek and there was a cut over his left eye.

"Colonel?" The doctor's voice jolted her out of her contemplation. Shaking herself slightly she moved forward. Reaching the side of the bed she set the crutches aside and lowered herself into the chair sitting there. Sitting on the forward edge of the chair she reached out tentatively to brush her fingertips across Harm's face, much as she had brushed the picture of his face in the General's office.

Distantly Harm registered the touch. For the first time since being rescued he didn't try to fight against it, instinctively sensing that there was no need. Slowly his mind dragged itself back to the surface. He was deathly afraid this was a dream, like so many dreams he'd had during his captivity. Finally, after an agonizing minute his eyes cracked open. Painfully he moved his head, murmuring in a voice barely loud enough to be heard, "Mac?"

She felt the tears roll down her face at his voice. Gently she brushed his cheek again, whispering softly, "Hey flyboy."

His eyes still slits he finally managed to focus on her, the light stabbing painfully into his eyes. He tried to smile but couldn't. He was so exhausted, in so much pain despite the painkillers. The darkness called softly to him, whispering seductively of a forever without pain. But he couldn't go to that forever just yet. He no longer cared if it was a dream, needing simply to tell her how he felt. Slowly he whispered, struggling to speak clearly enough to be understood, "I… love… you."

Mac closed her eyes briefly, feeling a tidal wave of emotions crash over her. She couldn't comprehend it. She was furious, elated, sad, ecstatic, and everything in between. She cursed herself mentally for not waiting for his answer, was furious for not telling him sooner. And she was pissed that he'd waited until now to tell her. Yet she was thrilled to realize that finally they were on the same page. Opening her eyes and smiling gently she murmured back, "I love you too."

She saw the smile the barely curved his lips then his eyes dropped closed again. Almost immediately his heart rate and blood pressure began to drop. Alarms began going off everywhere. Doctor Williams and the nurse leapt forward, one hitting the call button for help. Mac sat back in the chair, stunned. She couldn't believe it, he'd seemed alright and now suddenly they were losing him. She was losing him. Again.

Dimly she could hear the medical personnel talking quickly. But the sound that filled her ears was the progressively slower beeping of the heart monitor. Hearing her name called she blinked, trying to come back to the present. Slowly focusing through the tears she found the doctor crouched in front of her. Seeing that she had finally registered his presence Doctor Williams spoke slowly, hoping that she was listening to him, "Colonel, I want you to speak to him."

"What?" She couldn't understand. He was dying, what good was speaking to him going to do? He was dying and leaving her behind again, only this time it was so much worse.

"Colonel!" Williams snapped, deciding the only way to get through to her was to give her orders. He would deal with any repercussions later, right now he needed her to focus or he was going to lose Commander Rabb. Seeing her instinctively snap to attention he barked, "Talk to him! If you don't we _will_ lose him!"

Automatically moving to do as told it was only after she'd leaned forward that she realized what had just happened. A part of her was amused at the doctor another disgusted with herself. Shoving the thoughts of self recrimination aside she began speaking quietly to Harm, "Harm. Harm you can't go, you're needed here." There was no response except for the slow beeping.

"We're losing him!" she heard a nurse shout.

Something inside her snapped. Slipping into her command mode she started talking in a low, intense voice, "Damnit Navy you are not allowed to die. You will live or so help me I'll bring you back to life and kill you myself." The beeping decreased further. "God damnit, Harm! Snap out of it and get your ass back here where it belongs! You promised me you'd live! Are you going to break that promise now? After everything we've been through you're just giving up? Live, damn you, that's an order!"

She knew she was crying, even as she yelled at him. But she couldn't stop the tears. Almost as abruptly as the anger had erupted she felt it subside. Reaching out she grabbed his left hand clinging to it desperately. Squeezing her eyes shut she gripped his fingers in hers and whispered brokenly, feeling drained, "Damnit, Harm, you promised… you promised."

Distantly Harm felt something pulling at him. But it was pulling back towards the pain. He didn't want to go back that way. That way only was pain and suffering. He'd confessed his feelings to a closed door, knowing she had already left. He'd confessed them again, this time to a dream. In his dream she'd heard him, had spoken the words back. But outside the dream there were only beatings, broken bones and broken dreams. Annoyed he tried to ignore the tug, tried to block out the pesky voice that insisted he had to return.

He was almost there, almost to the blessed darkness that would mark the end of the pain forever. Emotional and physical pain would no longer matter. But there was that voice again, this time it sounded absolutely pissed. Vaguely he understood the words, and the voice niggled at him. He knew he should recognize it but it just didn't seem to matter, not when the painlessness was so close. And then the words hit him… "you promised."

He felt like he'd been sucker punched. The darkness continued to call him, but now he was listening, trying to focus on that voice. He only wanted to know what it meant, who it was. Once he knew that he could go. He heard the voice fade, heard the tears in it. He could feel his heart breaking but he didn't know why. The voice was keeping him from being free. Wasn't it? "You promised…" the words echoed in his mind, punching at his heart over and over.

What was it about promises? Why did it matter so much to him? He edged a little closer to the pain, trying desperately to remember. It was important that he could remember, once he remembered it would stop bothering him and he could go in peace. The voice, that voice that kept whispering the same words over and over, "you promised." His heart was shattering into a million pieces at those words, at that voice. The darkness became quieter, cautiously he moved back towards life. That voice was his lifeline, the only thing that was keeping him from giving up completely, the only thing that had kept him alive for days.

A name floated across his consciousness… Sarah… it clicked, the voice suddenly had a name. And the name had a face. He had solved the mystery. Contentedly he let himself drift back down, slipping closer to the edge. There was a dim roar somewhere in the distance but he dismissed it, it didn't matter, nothing did any more. "You promised you'd live…" He promised what? Why would he promise that? Then he heard different words, words he knew were only from his mind, _I love you_. And suddenly he knew why he'd made that promise, why he would keep that promise.

"We're going to lose him! Give me those paddles!" Doctor Williams barked, snatching the defibrillator paddles from the nurse, preparing to use them. Part of him recognized that the Colonel was still there, murmuring something over and over again. He knew that if he didn't succeed, he was going to have another patient on his hands. He was about to place the paddles on the Commander's chest; began to speak, "Cle…!" when the monitor sped up.

Steadily the heart rate increased until it had reached a normal level. Blinking in shock he lowered the paddles. Setting them back down he rubbed his eyes and looked from the now steadily beeping monitor to the man stretched in the bed. Though nothing outwardly appeared different suddenly everything was. Mac slowly lifted her head from where it had fallen on the side of the bed, also staring in shock at the monitor. Slowly a smile crept across her face and Doctor Williams thought he heard a whisper, "And I always keep my promises."

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_Additional a/n:_

_eridani: thanks for the advice! I'll keep it in mind!_

_Radiorox: __kicking Vic's ass... it's on my list ;-)_

_SailorGirl: ok, I'll tell you he lives... now the question is, am I telling the truth:-P_

_harmfan: WHOOP!_

_ And now it needs to be Friday, must... see... new... episode!_ _ Though I might end up annoyed with it... ah well._


	20. Chapter 20

_Disclaimer: Nope, don't belong to me, wish they did._

_ Ugh, so despite my best efforts I still couldn't get this updated sooner. Though I have finally finished all my schoolwork. Just have one final next Wednesday then I'm DONE! So theoretically this will mean I will have more time to write and therefore will get -all- my stories updated more frequently. Exciting thought isn't it? So again, I apologize for the delay. Hopefully it won't happen again unless I hit writer's block again, which incidentally is part of what delayed this chapter._

_About reviews. All I can say is wow... you guys really make my day... week... month... with those. I really really appreciate them. Honestly I have a hard time believing so many people like my stuff, it's a weird thought. So thanks to minorcadence, SailorGirl, jaka, Dutchgirl, froggy, jag lover, dansingwolf, zeilfanaat, snugglebug, To lazy to log in, martini, CabbyMcCab, mjag, starryeyes, Laurie, TomcatGM, Radiorox, eridani, shirik, JJScottishGirl, Brittany, Beach chick, and anyone else I missed! And thanks to everyone that's reading and isn't on that list. Hope you enjoy the chapter! Now for sleep before getting up at 4 am for MEPS (the military owns my soul now... and they are taking advantage of it to make me get up at ungodly hours)

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_

Mac sighed softly, gazing down at her partner who hadn't moved since that terrifying episode right after he'd woken up. He'd been sleeping peacefully for over half an hour but she hadn't left his side. The doctor hadn't believed it, he'd been certain the Commander was a goner. But after that Harm's heartbeat and blood pressure had remained steady if a tad lower than normal. Mac knew he wouldn't die now, not without a fight at least.

That had been what scared her most, his simple acceptance. One moment he'd been coherent and conscious the next he'd just drifted away. He hadn't fought it, just let it happen. It ripped at her soul to realize just how bad off he was that even Harmon Rabb wouldn't fight death. And she'd been weak with relief and gratitude that he hadn't succumbed after all. But it had been close, so close. She could still hear the words of Doctor Williams echoing in her mind _"We're going to lose him!"_ She shuddered, Mac never wanted to hear those words again. And then the defibrillator, the doctor just a hairs breadth away from using it before his heart had suddenly kicked back in.

Williams couldn't fathom it. So he'd simply shaken his head and left the Colonel with the Commander after giving clear directions on how to contact them if anything were to happen. He'd paused at the door, where Mac couldn't see him. He noticed that the Colonel was still gripping the Commander's hand, her head having fallen forward slightly with a tearful smile on her face. And he saw the faintest of smiles that curved the Commander's lips though most observers would swear there was nothing there. That tiny slice of time, the perfect picture, would be forever etched in his mind. Deep inside he knew the Commander would now make it, simply because she was at his side. And so he'd smiled tenderly at the couple before slipping out of the room, shutting the door silently behind him.

Mac checked her internal clock, noting that it was now 1000 ZULU. Which meant it was still too early to call the General. She was grateful for that, not particularly wanting to face his certain ire just yet. Her gaze drifted to where her hand still remained entwined with Harm's. For a long moment she studied the sight, slowly coming to realize just how right it was. She looked back up at his face, a slight smile quirking her lips. He loved her; it made her heart light just to think of it. Yes, they needed to talk; boy did they need to talk. But now everything seemed so much less insurmountable.

Carefully she disentangled her hand from his. Brushing her fingertips lightly over the cut on his forehead then down his cheek she stood. Though she couldn't call the States just yet, she could inform Gunny and Captain Ingles of Harm's status. Picking up the crutches she slipped out the door, waving to the nearby nurse. When the nurse approached she asked quietly, automatically lowering her voice despite the fact that Harm more than likely couldn't hear her, "Can you get someone to watch the Commander for a little bit? I have to make some phone calls and I don't want him left alone."

The nurse nodded with a smile. The story of how the Naval Commander had suddenly bounced back from certain death due primarily to the presence of a Marine Colonel had traveled quickly. She thought it was terribly romantic. Waving over another nurse they quickly set up a system for someone to watch Harm at all times until Mac could return. Smiling gratefully at the two nurses Mac turned, heading for the elevator. She'd only taken a few steps when Webb appeared seemingly from nowhere. Sighing she kept walking. She'd forgotten he was there.

Falling in beside her he put on his best smile, "Sarah how's Harm?"

She glanced briefly at him as she pushed the down button. Her answer was brief and clipped, "He's fine at the moment."

"Great! What's the diagnosis?" He was still smiling, trying his best to sound sincere though after hearing that Harm was ok he didn't much care. But he knew Mac cared and so he made sure he asked what he thought were the right questions. After all, who cared exactly what was wrong with someone if the person was going to live? He just figured said person should be grateful enough to be rescued. And the person's friends should be grateful too, especially if they were going to be fine. Right?

She arched an eyebrow slightly but answered anyways, "They don't know, he's going to be in ICU for a while."

"Ah," Clay pondered that for a moment. Well ok, maybe that wasn't so great and people should be concerned. But didn't a person's chances increase with every moment or something like that? "What do you think?"

She averted her gaze, opting instead to stare at the elevator doors, willing them to open. Coming to the conclusion that they weren't going to conveniently open at the moment she replied, "I don't know."

"You must have some opinion on it, Sarah."

Mac looked back at him with a frown. Her tone when she spoke clearly indicated she didn't wish to discuss the topic further, "I am not a doctor, Clay. I don't know."

He sighed, _figures_. "Sarah…" he began, fortunately the elevator chose that moment to open. Well, it was unfortunate from his point of view but Mac was rather grateful. Stepping inside she grimaced slightly when Webb followed her. Luckily there were a few other people already inside, keeping Webb from continuing. What he wanted to talk about didn't really lend itself well to an audience.

Once they reached the floor Mac made a beeline for the hospital doors, flashing a brief smile at the young seaman who held the door for her. Outside she flipped open her cell, thinking for a moment before dialing the number that would connect her to the Marine base. Clay frowned irritably but waited silently, not wanting to interrupt her while she was on the phone, knowing that would only piss her off more.

He glanced around the parking lot in feigned interest, half listening to her murmured conversations with first Gunny then Captain Ingles. When she was done he flashed a smile, "So, how is everyone?"

"Fine."

"Good good, I take it they were pleased to hear about Harm?"

She eyed him warily, nodding slowly, "Yes."

"And Gunny's men?"

"How'd you know about that?" He arched an eyebrow, looking vaguely offended. She sighed and looked away, "Of course you know, why should I think differently?"

"Exactly. Have you talked to the General yet?"

"Clay, it's not even 0530 in Falls Church."

"Oh, right," he sighed, "Sarah, can we please talk?"

"Talk? Haven't we done that enough recently?"

"No because you won't actually participate!" Clay ignored the strange looks they were getting from passersby.

Mac's eyes glinted dangerously; she didn't appreciate being yelled at. Her voice was cold, "I participated; you just won't accept my answer." She turned to reenter the hospital, intending to return to Harm's side. Clay reached out and grabbed her arm. Without thinking she turned back around, striking out instinctively. Her right hand connected solidly with the side of his face.

His eyes widened and he instantly released her arm, reaching up to touch the side of his face. He stared at her in utter shock. "What..?"

Mac glowered at him, absolutely furious. Quietly she growled, "Don't touch me again."

"Sarah… Mac…" he stepped forward, reaching towards her again.

She stepped back, her expression indicating that she wouldn't hesitate to hit him again if he didn't do as she asked. Neither of them had noticed the MP that was driving by with the window down when Clay had initially yelled at her. But he'd seen and heard enough to recognize the situation. Calmly he stepped up, speaking smoothly, "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to come with me."

Clay blinked, "Excuse me?" His jaw and pride were still smarting from the strike and he was fairly certain he would have a bruise.

"Sir, you need to come with me." The MP looked at Mac, "I'm sorry I didn't arrive sooner, ma'am."

She sighed in relief and shook her head slightly, "It's not your fault, petty officer; just take him away, please."

"Of course, ma'am." He turned back to Clay, "This way, please." He gestured towards his right, indicating his car which was waiting where he'd stopped immediately upon seeing the situation.

"Why? What are you going to charge me with?"

"Attempted assault and, if you don't come with me in the next five seconds, resisting arrest."

"Assault! She hit me!"

"Self-defense, sir. Now, please, come with me peacefully."

Clay looked from the MP to Mac, incredulous, "Sarah?" She gazed back stoically. Growling in anger Clay took a step forward, momentarily forgetting the presence of the not-so-small Marine. He'd barely moved five inches when he found his arms clamped firmly to his sides. Looking around in surprise he found a very angry Naval MP not two inches from his face. Slowly he peered around the area suddenly realizing he was surrounded by a small crown of spectators, all in uniform and all looking extremely displeased. Clayton Webb finally realized that he was in big trouble now. He found himself being forcibly escorted to the waiting car, another seaman and a marine falling in beside him, intent on helping the MP keep him in line.

Once the CIA agent was in the car the MP thanked the two other men then returned to Mac, "I'm very sorry about that, ma'am. I got here as quickly as I could. No excuse, I know but…"

"Don't worry about it; it's not your fault." Mac smiled, "Thank you for the help, sergeant."

"Anytime, ma'am. Would you be able to come down to headquarters later to give a statement?"

She shook her head, "Not today, I need to be here with a patient who's been charged to my care."

"Of course, ma'am. I'll send another MP back to interview you here then. Would you be willing to fill out the paperwork later today also, ma'am?"

"Certainly, just send them up; I'll be in the waiting area outside ICU."

"Aye, aye, ma'am." He snapped to attention and saluted. Mac returned it then watched as he got in his car and drove off.

A Navy Commander approached, "We're sorry that happened, Colonel. We saw it but none of us realized what was going on until it was too late."

"Thanks for the sentiment, Commander."

"Are you alright? Can I or any of us get you anything?"

"I'm fine, but thank you," she smiled gratefully. "Besides, I had it under control."

The Commander chuckled, "That you did, Colonel. But still, if there's anything any of us can do, let us know."

She nodded slightly, "Thank you."

"Anytime," with a nod and another smile the man left. The rest of the small group did the same. Mac stood staring off across the parking lot, trying to digest what had just happened. She was more surprised by the support than by Clay's actions. _Odd, isn't it?_ she mused. _And how appropriate somehow that a Commander is the one to offer the help_. With a smile her mind drifted to another Commander, currently resting upstairs in an ICU room, hopefully on the road to recovery.

She'd turned again to enter the hospital when her cell rang. Frowning she flipped it open, "MacKenzie."

"Colonel."

Mac swallowed, "General."

"I hear you found Commander Rabb."

"Yes, sir."

"And how is the Commander?"

"He got out of surgery about an hour ago, sir. He's in ICU now."

"I see, what are the doctor's saying?"

"Too soon to tell, sir, but they're cautiously optimistic. He's stable though still listed as critical. They're hoping to upgrade his condition by tomorrow provided everything goes well."

"Excellent." Cresswell paused. "I hear also that you were part of the team that found him."

Mac sighed inaudibly, here it came. Calmly she replied, steeling herself for the certain charges to come, "Yes, sir."

"I see. I'm fairly certain your orders were to not leave the base unless absolutely necessary and to not do anything strenuous due to your injuries. Unless I am mistaken."

"No, sir, you're not."

"So you disobeyed orders."

Mac smiled tightly, "Not technically."

"Oh? Do tell, Colonel?"

She could hear the tightness in his voice; he was definitely pissed with her. Yet there was something else there that hinted that he might not crush her then reassign her to Iceland. After a brief moment to organize her thoughts she explained carefully, "Well sir, I felt, as I had previously explained to you, that finding Harm was absolutely necessary to me. As such I left the base; I needed to be part of the team."

"I see… and the strenuous activity?"

"I didn't do anything strenuous. I stayed in the humvee the entire time until the marines had cleared the area and given the all clear. Only then did I leave the vehicle and then only to walk the twenty feet from the humvee to the building then back."

"So your argument is that it was absolutely necessary to leave the base and in doing so you did nothing more strenuous than ride in a humvee?"

"And shoot a pistol, yes, sir."

"Shoot a pistol?"

"I was armed, sir. And they were attacking us."

"And how is that not strenuous?"

"I was standing in one place and leaning against the top of the windshield for support, sir. The activity didn't involve my ribs or my leg."

He heaved a sigh, "Remind me never to let the prosecution have you in a case against me."

Mac smiled faintly, "Yes, sir."

"Very well, seeing as this doesn't "technically" violate orders as you have so eloquently explained, I am not going to request an Article 32 or court-martial. However, you will be receiving a letter of reprimand which will go in your file and half pay for two weeks."

"Yes, sir," Mac let out a slow breath of relief.

"And Colonel… if you _ever _do anything like that again I will personally feed you to the lions."

"Yes, sir!"

"Keep me updated on the Commander's condition." Without waiting for an answer the General hung up. Mac stared at the phone for a moment before hitting the end button. Well that had gone better than expected. At least she still had her job. Sighing she turned the phone off once more before entering the hospital. On the upside, she would no longer have to worry about Clay lurking around outside Harm's hospital room.

* * *

**NSA Naples**

**US Naval Hospital**

**Tuesday**

**0600 ZULU**

Mac was curled up in the chair by Harm's bed as well as she was able to with her injuries. The doctor had left about twenty minutes prior and she was now dozing, keeping her constant vigil on her partner. It amused her that they'd brought in a more comfortable chair for her. So far they'd only asked once for her to leave the room. She'd agreed that one time and had wandered off to eat and make some calls. It had been barely an hour later when a doctor had come looking for her, slightly frantic, requesting her presence back in Harm's room.

Mac had learned later that when she'd been gone for over 45 minutes Harm had become agitated and wouldn't calm down. Since then they had discovered that any absence beyond 30-45 minutes would result in Harm becoming restless. And so they'd grudgingly conceded to let her remain despite normal rules otherwise. The doctor had come to the conclusion that her presence was the only thing keeping him somewhat calm and enforcing visiting restrictions would only be detrimental to his patient. Mac wasn't quite sure what to make of the situation but she wasn't going to argue. While her presence calmed Harm, being in his room with him kept her calm.

He'd been unconscious for the most part, only waking up a few times. Even then he'd been mostly asleep, dropping immediately back into unconsciousness when she spoke to him. She left out a soft sigh, studying him. The bruise across his jaw was slowly fading and the cut over his eye was healing. They'd discovered that he had a few loose teeth and one missing entirely; fortunately it was nothing some dental work couldn't fix. The rest of him was another matter completely, however.

_Doctor Williams eyed Mac for a moment before asking softly, "Are you sure you want to know?"_

_She nodded firmly, fixing him with a glare, "Tell me, I want to know what's wrong with him."_

_Williams sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose; she had to be one of the most stubborn women he'd ever met. Finally he began to recite, keeping an eye on Mac to see whether he should stop, "His right forearm is broken in two places, right elbow also broken. Right shoulder was dislocated. Left shoulder was wrenched though never dislocated, left wrist is fractured. His right knee is broken as is his lower right leg. Left ankle is also broken in two places. Fourteen broken ribs, six cracked ribs, the remaining six are bruised. As you can see his jaw is bruised. He also has several bruised internal organs though fortunately no internal bleeding or lacerations. Externally is another matter. Various cuts, bruises, lacerations, scrapes, you name it. He also has a concussion."_

_Mac closed her eyes during the recitation, paling as the catalog of injuries went on and on. When he'd finally stopped she reopened her eyes, gazing sorrowfully at Harm as she asked softly, "Anything else?"_

"_Not that we can tell though more than likely there will be psychological side effects as well. But we won't know to what extent until he wakes up for longer than a couple seconds." He paused before adding, in a voice even quieter than before, "By all rights he should have been dead long ago, and he should have died that time right after you arrived."_

_Mac raised her head to look at the Doctor, tears forming in her eyes though they didn't fall. She replied in a voice just barely loud enough to be heard, "I know."_

Dropping her head slightly she closed her eyes tightly at the memory. The list of injuries played in her mind, and the longer he stayed asleep the more scared she became. Intellectually she knew that the sleep was good for him, that the stress and drugs would keep him out of it for a long while. That didn't stop her from wishing he'd wake up, just for a little bit. At least he was now out of ICU and in a private room. His condition was currently listed as serious but stable, though those words weren't very comforting to her.

Softly she murmured, eyes still closed, "We really got ourselves in deep this time, didn't we, sailor?"

"yeah… we did…" came the barely audible response.

Mac's head jerked up, her eyes flying wide open. Shocked she met the sleepy gaze of her partner. He looked vaguely confused yet pleased to see her. As she processed the fact that he was awake a delighted grin spread across her face. Softly she said, "Hey."

"Hi," his lips curved ever so slightly in an attempted smile. She could tell it pained him to try yet she felt ecstatic that he would even try.

"How do you feel?" without thinking she reached out to gently squeeze his hand.

Seeing the slightly startled look in his eyes she immediately began to withdraw her hand but stopped when he spoke again. "No, don't." She hesitated for a moment before letting her hand settle back on his. He smiled again, this time just a tiny bit wider than before. His eyes were slowly losing the dazed look as he woke up. After a moment he answered her question though his voice was still barely above a whisper, "Like hell."

She frowned slightly, her eyes reflecting her sorrow for him. Edging slightly closer she murmured, "I'm so sorry."

"Not your fault."

"Yes, it is. I should have gotten you out, should have found you sooner, should have…"

"Sarah."

She froze in mid-sentence at the sound of her name. Slowly she dragged her gaze back to his. His vision had cleared, his gaze latching firmly on hers. Once he was certain he had her full attention he murmured as firmly as he was able, "It's not your fault."

Mac had opened her mouth to reply when she saw the glint in his eyes. Sighing mentally she chose not to contest him for the moment, not wanting to agitate him. Instead she asked, "What do you remember?"

He frowned slightly then winced at the pain in his jaw. Slowly he answered, averting his gaze, "I…" _Pain. A fist coming towards his face. Falling. Stabbing pain in his side. The feel of ribs cracking under the toe of a boot. Loss. Yelling, screaming. Despair. _"I…"

Mac watched the emotions flicker across his face and instinctively laid her free hand against his cheek. She whispered, trying not to startle him, "Forget it, Harm. We can worry about it later." He finally looked back at her and she could read the gratitude in his eyes. Mentally she cursed herself for asking him so soon. Slowly he glanced around the room, wincing each time he moved his head. Frowning, Mac dropped her hand to his shoulder, "Hey, don't strain yourself."

"Where are we?"

"Naples, at the Naval Hospital."

He looked back at her, brow furrowed slightly in puzzlement, "Why?"

She looked at him in confusion, "Because you were injured and it was the closest Naval Hospital that wasn't in the war zone."

"But why a naval hospital?"

"What do you…" she began; then it hit her. "You don't remember," she breathed.

He tried to shrug and groaned as he moved his previously dislocated shoulder. Gently she pressed down on his shoulder, silently telling him to stay still. Harm subsided immediately. His voice was tinged with frustration, "Some. Not enough."

"How much?" she forgot her earlier decision not to push him about his memories. Of course, that had been before she'd realized he had forgotten more than just what happened during his captivity.

He half smiled, "You."

For the second time in barely five minutes Mac froze. She simply stared at him, unable to tear her eyes away and unable to speak. Her brain seemed to have shut down, she couldn't think. Her right hand was still wrapped around his and distantly she felt his fingers tighten on hers. The action brought her back to the present. Slowly she asked, her voice even softer than before, "What?"

Harm looked away for a moment before meeting her gaze again, the slight smile still in place, "I remembered you. Most of the rest is a blur, but you I remember clearly." She felt tears threaten for what felt like the billionth time in the past few days. The smile on his face faded; his expression suddenly dead serious. He didn't get a chance to speak, however, as the nurse chose that moment to enter. Mac jumped slightly when she heard the door close, her head snapping to the side. She forced herself to relax when she felt Harm tense up also. Looking back down at him she smiled reassuringly, squeezing his fingers gently.

Beneath her left hand she felt his muscles slowly relax. The nurse didn't notice any of this, instead smiling cheerfully as she moved to the other side of Harm's bed. Her voice was chipper and overwhelmingly happy. Inwardly Mac cringed at hearing it, she couldn't imagine Harm was terribly thrilled with the tone either. "Ah Commander! You're awake, how lovely! How do you feel? Not too well I'd guess. And your friend is here to see you, isn't that nice? Doctor Williams will be so happy to know you're awake! I'm sure your friend here is happy also. You gave us all quite a scare there, trying to die like that. Well you have a nice visit and I'll send the doctor in."

With that she was gone, not having stopped her chatter the entire time she was in the room. Mac blinked after the cheerful woman, her head still spinning from the incessant happiness and constant talk. After a moment she looked back down at Harm who was also staring at the door with an expression somewhere between horror and confusion on his face. Chuckling softly at the look on his face Mac leaned back in her chair slightly. He shifted his gaze to hers. Her laughter faded at the look of panic in his eyes. Leaning forward again she asked softly, "What?" feeling a vague sense of panic herself.

"Trying to die?" he was hardly able to form the words, his voice shaking slightly. Mentally Mac cursed the nurse for mentioning that. She didn't answer for a long moment, causing the panic in Harm's eyes to escalate slightly. His voice was no louder than before but she could sense the urgency in it, "Mac?"

"Sorry," she flashed a slight smile but he could see it didn't reach her eyes.

He spoke as firmly as he was able; needing to hear what she had to say. He knew that the event was important and something inside him knew that it was vital to helping him. "Tell me."

She sighed and began to recount softly, trying to distant herself as much as possible from the memory, "Just after they brought you in to ICU you uh… almost died. The doctor still isn't sure why you didn't." She didn't bother to try and sugar coat the situation, or hide something from him. She knew there would be no point.

Harm let his eyes drift closed, feeling the memories wash over him. He remembered the darkness, and the voice that called him until he came back. And he remembered his promise. Suddenly his eyes flew open and he stared at her in what almost seemed to be embarrassment. She frowned slightly, cocking her head curiously. But she didn't speak, waiting for him to find the words. She'd seen the expressions flit across his face, could sense that he remembered the incident now. Finally he whispered, staring down at her hand on his, "What did I say to you?"

"What? When?"

"When I woke up. Right before I almost died."

Her breath caught in her throat, she hadn't realized he was conscious enough at the time to remember anything about it later. Apparently she had been wrong. She followed his gaze with her own, studying her own hand resting on his intently. Barely whispering she answered, "You said you loved me." She couldn't bring herself to look at him again, focusing all her energy on studying their hands.

Harm was silent also, that's what he'd thought. He was even more embarrassed now. Sighing softly he closed his eyes again, letting his mind drift as he tried to come up with a response. That hadn't exactly been how he'd planned on telling her about his feelings. The silence stretched on though Harm noted ironically that it never really became uncomfortable. Finally he stated softly, opening his eyes again to study her profile, "I meant it." When her startled gaze met his, he met it with a heartfelt one of his own. Silently he tried to convey his feelings with his eyes, waiting tensely for her response.

After a tense moment smiled, dipping her head briefly in acknowledgement. Speaking no louder than before, gaze locked with his she responded, "I know. I love you, Harm."

He stared for a long moment before grinning as broadly as he could. The action pulled the bruise across his jaw and he winced, the smile diminishing somewhat. Tenderly Mac reached out to touch the bruise, trailing her fingers lightly across his jaw. She murmured, "You know, we still have a lot to talk about."

Harm nodded slightly, taking comfort in the feel of her hand against his cheek. His own response was a drowsy murmur as the drugs the nurse had added to his IV started to finally take effect, "I know. We will, I promise." Smiling at her one last time he drifted back to sleep. She watched him sleep for a few moments, glancing up briefly when the door opened. Seeing Doctor Williams enter she nodded slightly.

The doctor stepped up beside her, studying Harm intently before whispering to Mac, "How is he?"

"In pain, he doesn't remember a whole lot."

"Not surprising. We'll make a more complete assessment when he wakes up again." Williams made some notes on his clipboard then smiled slightly at Mac, "Don't worry, Colonel, his waking up is a good sign. Did he appear to remember more as you spoke to him?"

She nodded slightly, "Yes."

"Good, that's a good sign also." Studying Harm once more and making a few more notes Doctor Williams nodded slightly to Mac, "Call me if you need anything or his condition changes."

"Of course, thank you, doctor." Smiling slightly Williams left Mac and Harm alone once more. Mac curled back into the chair, wrapping her arms around herself. Smiling to herself she settled in to watch over her partner once more.

* * *

_Personal thoughts on the finale: Loved it! Thought it was handled rather appropriately. One of my fav parts was definitely Mac kicking Vukovic out of her office. And the end was sooooo sweet. I found it rather appropriate that Mac was the one who took the initiative to go to Harm's place and Harm was the one who actually said "I love you". Seemed to be an apt reflection of their relationship. And they're engaged! WHOOP! Overall, loved it. Kinda sad it's over but glad at the same time 'cause it wouldn't have been the same without Harm._


	21. Chapter 21

_Disclaimer: yeah, not mine_

_Blarg. Ok, tried to upload this earlier this weekend and failed miserably due to problems. Also, I'm really sorry about that crazy long delay. I've been insanely busy recently between finals, graduation (I have a college degree, whee!), moving, Air Force stuff, etc. that my computer has been either off or packed much of the time. Unfortunately the few times it was on I didn't have time to sit and write so nothing was able to be written until about Wed of this past week. And then other stuff came up. Isn't life grand? So I'm really sorry, hopefully it won't happen again. Though it definitely won't be updated until at least Tues or Wed 'cause I have to go out of town again._

_Another note: I took down "Someone You Used to Know" after posted their little notice about closing people's accounts who had fics up with full lyrics in them. Since it was a songfic I really didn't want to risk it. If anyone wants to read it it's still posted on my own website in the writing section or you can email/IM me and I'll be glad to send it to you. Thanks so much for the reviews, you guys are awesome. Glad you liked the chapter and I'm thrilled you guys like the story. Thanks to LiseGirardi, zeilfanaat, froggy, snugglebug, starryeyes, mjag, cbw, carbygurl05, harmfan, Radiorox, AB, shirik, eridani, CabbyMcCab, Brittany, BeachChick, EY, macandharmlover, jagnut, and anyone else I missed, I really appreciate them! A few more specific notes are at the bottom. So read and enjoy!

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**JAG Headquarters**

**Wednesday**

**1500 ZULU**

Lieutenant Gregory Vukovic was not a happy camper. In fact, he was quite pissed off. He'd been called into the General's office just after lunch on Friday and given some rather irritating news.

"_Ah, Lieutenant, have a seat," General Cresswell waved a hand towards the remaining empty seat in front of his desk. Already seated were Lieutenant Commander Roberts, Commander Turner, and another Lieutenant Commander he didn't recognize. Trying to meet Roberts or Turner's gaze he was somewhat nonplussed by the stony way they gazed back at him. Frowning slightly Vukovic made his way to the empty chair which was on one end of the row, right next to the strange Commander. Sitting he eyed the General curiously, confused as to just what was going on._

_Cresswell exchanged glances with Sturgis and Bud before directing his gaze to Vukovic. The Lieutenant slowly clued in to the fact that something was very wrong. General Cresswell watched as the typical overconfident mask slipped slightly and the Lieutenant's eyes grew wary. Finally he spoke, "Lieutenant, allow me to introduce you to Lieutenant Commander Elizabeth Matthews, your defense attorney."_

_Vukovic blinked, stuttering, "Excuse me, sir? My what? Why do I need defense counsel?"_

_Cresswell fixed him with a stare, waiting silently for the lieutenant to subside. After a moment he did, settling back into his chair though the general could read the irritation and confusion in his eyes. At least he'd stopped babbling. Calmly Cresswell explained, giving no indication of his personal feelings on the matter, "Lieutenant Vukovic you are being charged with disobeying a direct order, reckless endangerment, misbehavior before the enemy, and conduct unbecoming. A week from today there will be an Article 32 hearing on the charges."_

_Vukovic stared in shock, he couldn't believe it. His mind refused to process the information. How could this happen? Then it clicked and he burst out without thinking, "Colonel MacKenzie!"_

_General Cresswell arched an eyebrow while the three Commanders simply looked at Vukovic curiously. Cresswell asked calmly though there was a slight edge to his voice now, "What about the Colonel?"_

"_I uh…" Vukovic swallowed, trying to calm himself. Finally succeeding he asked tightly, "Who brought the charges?"_

"_The United States Navy," came the bland answer._

_But Vukovic was positive he knew the actual origin of the allegations. Mentally he cursed himself and Mac. He'd been so positive she wouldn't do anything to him. It appeared he was wrong. His voice was still tense as he asked, "I see. And what are the specifics of these charges?"_

"_Commander Matthews will fill you in on the details. You are all dismissed." With that the General rose and turned his back on the small group, gazing pointedly out the window. The message was clear, he was not entertaining questions on the matter at this time._

Irritably tapping his pen on the conference room table Vukovic continued to muse on the recent events. He'd tried to find Colonel MacKenzie in the office, having heard someone mention earlier in the day that they'd seen her around. But the search proved fruitless. He'd also tried her apartment but received no answer, though he did hear barking from that damnable dog of hers. Vukovic heaved an angry sigh. He knew she was behind this but he couldn't get in touch with her to try and talk about it.

He'd tried all weekend only to be told on Monday that she was in Italy with the newly rescued Commander Rabb. He supposed he should be grateful that his lawyer had managed to keep him out of confinement prior to the hearing. Vukovic couldn't even tell if she believed in his innocence. He slammed the end of the pen against the table and watched in annoyance as it flipped out of his hand and skittered across the tabletop. And to top it off, no one would speak to him. Sturgis and Bud only said as much as was absolutely necessary while Jennifer seemed to go out of her way to avoid him now unless she was working.

He was on suspension; the couple of cases he had been assigned Friday morning were promptly reassigned by Friday afternoon. That didn't stop him from visiting the office in hopes of finding out more information, both about his trial and Colonel MacKenzie. Last he'd been told the Commander was still unconscious and the Colonel was assigned to supervise him. He couldn't fathom how she'd managed to pull that off; Vukovic would've sworn that the General would never grant such a personal request. Yet somehow she had and was therefore completely out of reach. _A fact which annoys Turner and Roberts also,_ he thought smugly. Her being in Italy deprived them of one of their key witnesses.

Unfortunately for him, he had a bad feeling that whether she was present or not, the case would be recommended to court martial. And he was willing to bet money that the Colonel would be back in the States in time for that. At least then he might get to speak to her and try to convince her to get the charges dropped. He was a good lawyer damnit, and supposed to be her colleague if not partner. She was a marine; didn't that mean she shouldn't turn on her fellow JAGs or some such nonsense?

His sulky musings were interrupted by the conference room door opening. Turning his head he watched Commander Matthews precede Turner and Roberts into the room. The latter two looked rather grim, but then they'd looked grim ever since Friday. Vukovic didn't anticipate them lightening up any time soon. He wished he knew what Colonel MacKenzie had said to them about the situation so that he could try to counteract the damage. But they wouldn't elaborate on the subject. Every time he asked they simply replied that the charges were based on the events of Iraq. Matthews settled into the chair next to Vukovic while the other two officers took up position across the table. Vukovic straightened, trying his best to convey a good image. Plastering a smile on his lips he waited for the interview to begin, determined to use all of his own skills to try to turn this in his favor.

* * *

**JAG Headquarters**

**1630 ZULU**

Sturgis dropped into his chair and waited for Bud to close the office door before letting out the groan that had been hovering on his lips for the last hour. Bud half smiled in sympathy and lowered himself into another chair. Sturgis frowned slightly, looking down at the case file in his hand. Slapping the folder down on the desk he looked back up at Bud, "I cannot wait to get into the court room."

Commander Roberts nodded emphatically in agreement, glancing briefly at his own copy of the case file. He scanned his notes, mentally reviewing the interview in his mind. Vukovic had definitely been using his own lawyer skills when answering the questions and Bud had to admit, the lieutenant was good at evading what he didn't want to say. But he was still positive they had a solid case against Vukovic, and though it wasn't terribly professional of him, Bud really wanted the lieutenant to face court martial and be convicted. Looking back up at Sturgis, Bud commented, "We have a pretty solid case. The interview went ok for us."

Sturgis nodded in agreement, "Yeah it did. Could have been better but it also could have been much worse." He paused, "I just hope Mac and Harm are doing alright."

Bud didn't miss the flicker of guilt in the Commander's eyes. He opted against asking about it though, figuring if the other man wanted to speak about it he would. Instead he stated with as much confidence as he could muster, "I'm sure they're doing great, sir. They've gotten through tough situations before, they'll be fine."

Sturgis smiled sadly and asked, "Will they?" Shaking of the sudden melancholy he straightened, "You're right, Bud, they'll be fine." Holding up a finger to forestall Bud's reply Sturgis picked up the phone as it rang. He flipped the case file open absently, glancing at it as he spoke into the receiver, "Commander Turner."

Bud watched curiously as Sturgis suddenly looked up from the file, a look somewhere between glee and worry crossing his face. Sturgis listened intently to the person on the other end of the line, nodding every once in a while in a silent agreement that the caller couldn't see. After a few moments he spoke again, "That's great news, we'll be there." He paused again, "Ok, thanks, see you two there then." Dropping the phone back into the cradle he gazed at it for a moment before looking up at the puzzled Lieutenant Commander sitting across from him. Slowly he smiled, an honestly happy smile for the first time in days as he explained, "That was Mac. Harm and her and coming back to Stateside tomorrow."

Bud grinned, "That's great news!" The grin slipped slightly at the look on Sturgis' face. Carefully he asked, "Is there something wrong, sir?"

Sturgis took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Slowly he replied, "Mac implied that there might be some complications."

"Complications? Like what?"

"With Harm, I got the distinct impression everything is not as well as it should be."

"Did she say what was wrong?"

"No. Actually, she didn't _say_ there was anything wrong though she did say we should be ready for anything."

Bud nodded thoughtfully, pondering this information. They'd all been so happy when the news had come in that Harm had been found. Now it looked as though that news was not all it was cracked up to be. He sighed and looked back at the file, "Well, I suppose we should get moving on this. So we at least have some hopefully good news for the Colonel and Commander when they get here?"

"Good idea, Bud." Sturgis looked back down at the file, snagging a pen as the two lawyers got to work on their case.

* * *

**Thursday**

**0100 ZULU**

**Naples, US Naval Hospital**

Harm cracked open one eye cautiously, though the bruises were healing it still hurt to move most of his face. His current position had him staring at the ceiling. Slowly he opened his other eye, wincing slightly as the bruise on his cheek sent of twinge of pain through him. They'd told him the cheek bone wasn't broken but he wasn't entirely positive he believed them. After nearly a full minute he registered that Mac hadn't spoken to him. He began to panic before the more logical portion of his mind told him that she could be sleeping.

Calming down, Harm softly called, trying to peer out of the corner of his eye at her, "Mac?" The position of his head, unfortunately, didn't lend itself well to being able to see the chair she was usually in. Resigning himself, he slowly twisted his head sideways so he could look at her, calling again, "Mac?"

When Harm's gaze fell on the empty chair positioned next to the bed his breath caught in his throat. Almost immediately his mind moved into full-scale panic despite the rational voice I his head trying desperately to reason the situation out. Raising his voice as best he could he called again, a distinct edge of panic to his voice, "Mac!" _What if it was all a lie? Just a delusion brought on by the torture?_ He could feel his heart rate increase in response to the increasingly terrified thoughts. But despite knowing he was overreacting and needed to calm down he couldn't seem to do so.

He didn't know what he'd do if it hadn't been real. He noticed the doctor and a nurse rush through the door in response to the machines and immediately flinched backwards. Harm pressed himself back into the pillows as best he could, straining to get as far from the newcomers as possible. To his paranoid gaze the two people were taking on the form of a new form of torture. He tried to move his arm to defend himself and felt his control slip even more as he realized he was virtually immobile.

Doctor Williams sighed mentally as he noticed the fear in the Commander's eyes. He hated this part of his job. Though he knew that he wasn't the cause of his patient's suffering, seeing that reaction always made him feel like the bad guy. Glancing around the room he noted the absence of Colonel MacKenzie. Frowning slightly he glanced over at the nurse, "Have you seen Colonel MacKenzie?"

"Yes, sir. She said something about needing to make a few phone calls."

Williams nodded slightly, resting one hand lightly on Harm's shoulder in a vain attempt to calm the Commander. Looking back at the nurse he ordered swiftly, "Go find her, and send someone in with some sedatives. We need him to be calm." Nodding sharply the nurse hurried out of the room. Williams redirected his gaze to the other man, dropping his voice, trying to sound as soothing as possible, "Commander, I need you to calm down. Colonel MacKenzie will be back in a moment, you just need to breathe. Relax."

Harm's eyes finally met his but Williams could see that he wasn't getting through to the younger man. Keeping steady pressure on Harm's shoulder the doctor kept up a low murmur of words, trying to break through the man's fear. It wasn't working very well and Williams found he was oddly grateful that the Commander was in such bad shape. He had a distinct feeling that if Commander Rabb was in any better condition he wouldn't have been able to hold the other man down.

Williams' head jerked up at the sound of the door opening. He felt relief flood him when he saw the marine Colonel limp into the room, followed closely by the nurse he had sent to find her. The nurse was carrying a syringe and hurried quickly to the other side of Harm's bed. She was preparing to add the sedative to the IV when Doctor Williams stopped her, "Wait." She frowned at the doctor in confusion but he wasn't paying attention to her. Instead his gaze was riveted on Mac as she approached the bed. Glancing at Harm, Williams noticed that the Commander too was focused on the marine. Sighing in relief he lifted his hand from Harm's shoulder, sensing that the Commander wasn't going to try to escape any more.

"Mac?" Harm's voice was hesitant, filled with fear. Mac moved to the bed as quickly as she could, taking Doctor Williams' place at Harm's side. Carefully she settled her hand on his chest. Harm felt the tension and fear leave him in a rush. But he couldn't shake the paranoid feeling that this was all a dream and soon he would wake up back in his cell of eternal darkness. Quietly he asked again, his voice still shaking slightly, "Sarah?"

"Hey, sailor, what's going on? You gave that poor nurse quite a scare," she smiled slightly at him, letting her hand slide off his chest so she could use both to pull her chair closer. Settling into her chair, Mac cocked her head at Harm, waiting for his answer.

He studied her for a moment before glancing away, answering quietly, "Sorry, I overreacted to you being gone." She couldn't help but notice he sounded very much like a little boy caught doing something wrong. She also caught the slight hesitation in his voice, accurately reading it as fear that she would hate him for it. Tucking her hair behind her ear Mac reached out and gently grasped his hand, waiting for him to meet her gaze once more.

Mac half-smiled, "Don't apologize; it's a sign of weakness."

Harm blinked, staring at her for a moment before smiling slightly in return. He murmured, "You've said that to me before."

She nodded slightly, "Yeah." Gently she reached up and brushed a lock of hair from his forehead, absently noting that his hair was quite a bit longer than he usually kept it despite the haircut. After a moment she stated calmly, "Harm, don't worry about it. You have nothing to be sorry for." He sighed softly and finally nodded though she could tell he didn't believe her. Frowning she held his gaze with her own, "It's not your fault, Harm."

His lips quirked in a small smile, "Now you're repeating me, you going to start finishing my sentences again?"

Mac grinned at him, remembering the conversation he was referring to and thrilled that he also seemed to remember it. She nodded and replied in amusement, "Only if you begin starting mine again."

His smiled broadened for a moment then dimmed. Quietly he asked the question that had been bugging him since he'd first realized she was gone, "Where'd you go?"

She cocked her head slightly, "Just to make a few phone calls. I'm sorry, I didn't realize you would wake up or I would've waited to make them."

"No, it's fine." He evaded the subject deftly. He wasn't entirely sure himself why he had reacted the way he did. All he knew was that his lack of memories was playing havoc with his self control and Mac was the only lifeline he had. At least, she was the only lifeline he could remember. Cursing his memory loss for what seemed to be the billionth time since he'd first woken up he asked instead, "Who'd you call?"

"General Cresswell," Mac grimaced. Though he hadn't said anything since that first conversation she still felt uneasy talking to the General. Part of her was just waiting for him to spring some surprise on her in retaliation for her disobedience. Shrugging slightly she continued, "Also Colonel Peterson, CO of one of the marine base camps."

"Oh. Why Colonel Peterson?" He couldn't actually remember General Cresswell but Mac had explained at least a little bit of their office environment to Harm during the short periods he was awake. She'd also briefly mentioned the Colonel when trying to explain to him what had happened. But Harm couldn't figure out why she'd be calling the Colonel now since they were done with everything overseas and supposed to be heading home.

"To double check a few last minute details about the plane we're hitching a ride on."

"Right." He glanced away, gazing at the far wall. After a short moment he asked casually, "When do we leave?"

Mac studied his profile thoughtfully. He was doing a fairly good job of hiding it but she could catch the faintest hints of nervousness in his eyes and the motions of his face. Slowly she answered, watching his reaction, "In a couple hours."

Harm nodded slightly, still looking at the wall and avoiding her gaze. He wasn't sure what to think. Part of him was glad to be leaving, he wasn't thrilled with being in a hospital and even less thrilled to be this close to the place that had caused his problems. Though he realized they weren't really all that close to Iraq it was still far closer than he wanted to be at the moment. But another part of him was terrified. He could still only vaguely remember his home. Most of his memories were still of Mac. And though pieces were beginning to come back much of his life was still a blur.

Though he felt vaguely childish for thinking it, he was also afraid that once back in the States Mac would leave him. Sure she'd said she loved him, and he knew beyond a doubt that he loved her. Yet he couldn't help the fear that once they were in a place where more friends were around she wouldn't remain at his side. He knew the fears stemmed from his lack of memory, but despite the small voice in his head that told him she would never leave him he couldn't quite shake the fear. That voice seemed to know more about him than he did, but being unable to conjure up memories to go with the information that kept popping into his head made him doubt the validity of the knowledge.

"Harm?" He realized with a start that she'd called his name at least three times. Finally dragging his gaze from the wall he reluctantly looked at her, meeting her concerned gaze with his own half-terrified one. She frowned slightly and reached out to touch his shoulder lightly, "Are you ok?" Despite the confessions that had been made she wasn't entirely certain how to act, especially not with most of Harm's body in either casts or bandages.

He sighed softly and shook his head, seeing no point in lying, "Not really." He wished he could move his arms and hands enough to reach out and touch her. Unable to do so, he settled for a slight smile, putting as much confidence as he could muster into the expression. "I will be, though."

She smiled back though he could read the lingering concern in her eyes, "Of course you will, I'll make sure of it."

"I just wish," he hesitated, frowning slightly as he glanced away for a moment. "I just wish I could remember more."

"You will. The doctor said to give it time, you suffered great trauma and your memory is coming back." Mac tried to reassure him, though she wasn't entirely certain parroting the doctor's words would do any good. After all, they didn't sound terribly comforting to her ears and she couldn't see why they would sound any better to him.

Harm shot her a disgusted look and she knew that she had been right, the words didn't sound very reassuring to him either. He took a deep breath and after a moment he spoke again, "I know that. But I also know…" he trailed off and paused, rephrasing, "It's like I haven't really forgotten anything. Everything is right there I just can't access any of it, like it's all shut away from me but I don't know why or how to get at it." As he spoke his voice got progressively louder with annoyance. His hand attempted to curl reflexively into a fist and he flinched as pain shot up his broken arm.

Mac saw the flinch and grabbed his hand, frowning reprovingly at him, "Don't hurt yourself, it won't solve anything."

He squeezed her hand lightly with his fingers and let out his breath slowly, trying to calm himself. "I know; I'm sorry. I just…" his voice trailed off and Mac felt her heart break a little more at how lost he sounded.

"Hey… it'll be ok, I promise." She smiled and squeezed his hand gently in return. "I have to go talk to the doctor about signing you out, ok?" Harm nodded, holding her hand as tightly as he could for a long moment before slowly releasing it. Mac smiled at him again and lightly brushed his cheek with her hand before standing and leaving the room in search of Doctor Williams. Harm watched her go then closed his eyes, deciding he might as well get yet more sleep before they left.

**1200 ZULU**

**Bethesda**

Mac curled up in the chair next to Harm's hospital bed and studied her partner in concern. He'd been oddly quiet during the flight and subsequent trip to the hospital. Though, she had noticed he'd gradually relaxed the closer to the States they had gotten. At the moment he was surveying the room with mild interest, apparently oblivious to her study of him. Suddenly he spoke and Mac started slightly, having expected him to continue his silence, "I crashed, didn't I?"

She blinked at him in surprise and for a long moment couldn't find the words to reply. Harm turned his head to look at her, raising an eyebrow, curious. Finally she managed to choke out, trying to tamp down on the influx of painful memories, "A couple times, yeah."

He studied her intently; she could read in his gaze the need to know and the unspoken apology for upsetting her. Softly he asked, "The second time… into the ocean?" Mac nodded slightly, unwilling to risk speaking. His gaze grew somber, eyes begging for forgiveness even as he pressed, "Tell me? Please?"

She took a shuddering breath, staying silent for a long moment to give her time to steady herself. She hadn't expected the flight to bring back those particular memories though she realized in retrospect that she should have. Her voice was quiet when she began speaking, "You were flying back from doing your quals. There was a storm and your plane was struck by lightning. You and your RIO, Skates, went down in the Atlantic. We almost didn't find you."

He watched her silently, processing what she was saying even as the memories trickled back. He remembered the flight, the crash, the complete darkness and cold of the ocean. And he remembered the reason he was flying back to begin with. Harm looked away, feeling guilty for making her relive that night. He stared out the window, finishing the story quietly, "It was the night before your wedding. I missed the rehearsal dinner to do my quals and ran the risk of missing the wedding also." He paused and took a breath, vaguely surprised at the pain the memories caused. Looking back on it with the benefit of time he realized how stupid he'd been though there was no way of fixing it now.

When Mac didn't say anything he continued, speaking slowly as he vocalized the memories that had been triggered by the flight, "The first time was a ramp strike. Let me… injured? I'm not sure but I didn't fly for a long time after that." He looked back at her and saw her nod.

"Yeah, the doctors diagnosed you with night blindness, you weren't allowed to fly." She gave him a tiny smile, "But you found out they were wrong and got your eyes fixed. Then you got to fly again."

Slowly he nodded, his gaze searching hers. He vaguely remembered her dislike of him flying but he couldn't remember her actively discouraging it. Though he was willing to concede that could just be due to his lack of memory. Still, something inside him was telling him that she'd never tried to hold him back despite her own feelings. Harm frowned slightly, other vague memories tickling at his mind. Tentatively he stated, "There were other crashes."

Mac sighed and nodded. She supposed she should be happy that he was remembering things but the topic left something to be desired. _Why couldn't he remember happy plane memories?_ She glanced away for a moment, not wanting him to detect her feelings about the memories. Though she personally didn't care to discuss Harm's various crashes she also didn't want to discourage him from remembering anything. She didn't look away quickly enough, however. Realizing she was trying not to dissuade him, though, he was grateful for her willingness to discuss the topics she didn't care for.

He tried to remember more but couldn't bring any more images forward. Sighing in frustration he looked back out the window, wishing the memories would stop lurking just out of reach. Deciding to change the subject he asked, unable to keep the edge of frustration he felt towards the new topic also out of his voice, "When do I get to leave the hospital?"

Mac couldn't help but smile; she couldn't blame him for not wanting to be in the hospital any longer than necessary. And she could tell his memories were irritating him despite his best efforts to hide it. She shrugged slightly, "Honestly I don't know. They're still concerned about your injuries."

He turned his head to look at her, clearly annoyed, "They set all the bones and tied them up, why do I have to stay here? The injuries heal at home just as well as in this stupid bed."

She laughed softly and nodded, "Try telling them that." He grumbled irritably, glaring at her in mock anger for laughing. Mac merely smiled and after a moment Harm returned it.

Huffing in annoyance he looked up at the ceiling stating, "It's still annoying." But the anger had gone out of his voice and she recognized that he was saying it more out of a need to be independent than any real conviction that they should let him out of the hospital. After a moment he asked, "What time is it?"

"0715," she replied absently. She was rather glad that only the General knew when they'd gotten in. It meant no one should be showing up until at least 0900 or so, since they would have to actually go into the JAG office to find out that both her and Harm were back. She felt vaguely guilty for not wanting anyone to visit just yet but she couldn't help it. She looked back at Harm, smiling slightly when she realized he'd drifted back to sleep. Mac settled more comfortably into the chair, content to watch him sleep and wait for the inevitable flood of visitors. She only hoped it wouldn't bother Harm.

* * *

_macandharmlover some of that is answered in this chapter, a lot more will be in the next chapter_

_ EY thanks for the note, I'll try to work on that!_

_Brittany yeah it'll continue, at least for a little bit :-)_

_harmfan well I'm certainly going to try to find time to keep writing:-) Hopefully I'll be able to. _


	22. Chapter 22

_Disclaimer: not mine_

_Gah! So I really did mean to have this out a LOT sooner. Unfortunately a) fanfic. net wasn't working half the time and b) I ended up rewriting at least 90 percent of this chapter, in some parts I rewrote four and five times. For whatever reason I had some real issues getting things out the way I wanted. Also had company in town (stupid having to actually be social when you have family visiting, I mean what's up with that:-P ) So anyways, here it is and I promise the next chapter won't take two weeks to get up! I'm still shooting for having all four of my fics done before I leave though don't hold your breath on that, I'll do my best._

_Thanks to zeilfanaat, froggy, jaka, harmfan, snugglebug, martini, eagleandrose, carbygurl, starryeyes, jaggurl, EY, Laurie, LiseGirardi, AB, Tina Frank, CabbyMcCab, eridani, Kalystia, Sunset, cbw, JJKRUE, MichelleLee and anyone else I've missed/that's read it. And a HUGE thanks to sithwitch for reading my story (though she's heard so much about it already) and for all her help in getting this "opus" written (and also for putting up with me all year). Really appreciate you all, so thanks so much! Read and enjoy!

* * *

_

**1415 ZULU**

**Bethesda, US Naval Hospital**

Harm was awake, his head turned to the right so he could watch her sleep. Mac was curled up next to his bed in the chair, having fallen asleep at some point after him. He'd been awake for what he guessed was about fifteen minutes, but after seeing how tired she appeared he didn't have the heart to wake her. And he relished this opportunity to just watch her without feeling guilty about it. _Ironic isn't it that I can't remember –why- I would feel guilty, and yet I remember feeling that way_. At the moment, though, he didn't particularly care, happy to be able to watch her and to think.

His mind kept drifting, attempting to gather the scattered fragments of his memories and stick them together into something resembling a whole. So far he was failing rather miserably despite the gradual surfacing of memories. Unfortunately he'd discovered quite quickly that his mind seemed to have no rhyme or reason behind the order in which it remembered things, thereby making him almost more confused than before.

Hearing a sound, Harm turned his head slightly to peer curiously at the door. He watched with a slight frown as the door opened. Outwardly he managed to appear calm but he couldn't stop the slight shiver of fear that ran up his spine. He knew he was theoretically safe, but he also knew he wouldn't be able to recognize friend from foe in his current state. And the fact that someone intent on harming himself or Mac could waltz in without him realizing it terrified him.

A woman's head poked around the door and looked at him for a moment. Harm gazed back, subconsciously edging away from the door as much as he could. The stranger broke into a grin then promptly vanished. Harm heard someone say "They're in here, guys! Commander Rabb is awake!" and then the door opened fully. Immediately the woman reappeared followed by two men and another woman, this one somewhat younger than the first. Harm eyed them warily, shooting a sidelong glance at Mac. The four people were grinning foolishly at him and the first woman had already started heading for his bed, clearly intent on hugging him or something similar. He vaguely recognized the people but he had no clue what their names were or how they knew him.

Noticing the look on his face Harriet stopped short, frowning in concern. She glanced back over her shoulder at Bud who shrugged slightly. Shooting quick glances at Jen and Sturgis, Harriet realized that everyone was as confused as she was at Harm's reaction. Looking back at the Commander she asked softly, "Commander?"

Harm jumped slightly at her voice but didn't respond. Instead he turned his head slightly and called quietly, still keeping an eye on the strangers, "Sarah?" He noticed them all twitch slightly when he called Mac's name and filed the information away to examine later. The two names had become interchangeable in his mind during his captivity and he couldn't understand their reaction.

Mac opened one eye and looked at him sleepily, "Yes, Harm?" He risked a glance at her before his eyes darted back to the four visitors, as if daring them to come closer while he wasn't looking and scared that they would do so and he couldn't stop them. Mac frowned and opened her other eye, straightening up as she followed his gaze. Seeing their four friends standing in the room looking more confused by the second Mac scooted forward in the chair, reaching out to touch his shoulder. When Harm looked at her she smiled reassuringly, "It's ok; they're friends."

He hesitated for a moment before nodding though she noticed he still eyed them cautiously. Despite his unease she felt him relax slightly beneath her hand. She watched him for a moment more before looking back at the group. Sturgis frowned at them both as he asked, "Mac, what's going on?" Harm felt himself tense at the sound of the other man's voice and consciously forced himself to relax, giving Mac a small smile when she looked at him curiously.

Looking back at Sturgis, Mac hesitated before answering but she didn't get a chance to say anything as the door opened yet again and the doctor walked in. She paused just inside the door and blinked in mild surprise at the number of naval personnel that had appeared in her patient's room. After a brief moment she continued forward, deftly skirting around the small group still standing awkwardly and heading for the unoccupied side of Harm's bed. Smiling warmly at Harm she commented, "I'm just checking your vitals. How do you feel?"

Harm shrugged as best he could, grimacing slightly, "I've been better."

"Yes, I imagine you have been." She glanced at the monitors then at her clipboard, "Well, everything looks good. Provided nothing goes wrong we should be able to release you sometime early next week." He smiled gratefully; pleased to have some semblance of a deadline of when he would be able to leave though he wished it was sooner. Smiling back the doctor nodded at Mac before heading back out of the room, informing the visitors as she went, "Please don't stay too long, he's been through a lot and needs his rest." With that she was gone.

After the doctor had left there was a moment of awkward silence before Sturgis spoke again, once more causing Harm to tense slightly, "So, what's going on?"

Harm beat Mac to the answer, his voice slightly belligerent, "First off, who are you?" The foursome stared at him in stunned silence; they'd been expecting some horrible description of his injuries not amnesia.

Hesitantly Harriet asked, "Commander? Don't you recognize us?" While they'd been standing there she'd taken in the presence of the various casts that could be seen though she suspected only Colonel MacKenzie and the doctor knew the true extent of his injuries. But she had figured he would still know them.

Harm shook his head in response, immediately looking to Mac for support. It pained him to admit that he had next to no memory but he knew he needed to face it. Automatically she took his hand, squeezing it gently with a smile, trying to convey her support and her understanding. It was an action that didn't go unnoticed by any in the group. Looking back at the group that was still waiting for a verbal answer Harm sighed and replied, "Yes and no. You all look familiar but I don't know who you are."

"Oh," Harriet paused, digesting that. She looked at Bud, unsure of how to continue. Sturgis' eyes narrowed slightly as he watched Harm and Mac, noting with suppressed amusement that she was still holding his hand. Bud had noticed also but wisely kept his mouth shut, knowing the second Harriet figured anything out she'd promptly react whether Harm wanted her to or not. For her part Jen just looked uncomfortable, feeling vaguely out of place among the senior officers, especially with the one she'd been closest to being the one that had no idea who she was.

Harm waited a moment longer then with no answer forthcoming he decided to press the issue. Noticing that Jen seemed the most awkward he looked at her and smiled slightly. With a hint of his usual manner he commented, "Don't worry; I don't know what's going on either. Which one are you?"

She looked slightly startled for a moment, having figured he would address one of the others first. After a moment she relaxed slightly, returning the small smile. She answered confidently, grateful that she at least still had control of herself, "Petty Officer Jennifer Coates, sir."

"Ah, well welcome to my hospital room, Jennifer."

"Umm… you can call me Jen, sir."

"Oh," Harm blinked. Glancing at Mac he dropped his voice to a whisper, "Why does she keep calling me sir?"

Mac couldn't suppress the small chuckle at his consternation and slight awe. He reminded her of someone that had just gotten their commission and still couldn't quite believe that people called them "sir" or "ma'am." She murmured back, "It's because you outrank her." She grinned at his surprised look, "We already went over Navy ranks, Harm, remember?"

"Oh… right," he smiled back then turned his head back towards the others. Bud and Harriet were watching their exchange with great interest while Sturgis and Jen both seemed knowingly amused. His brow furrowing curiously at Bud and Harriet's reactions he asked, "And you two are…?"

"Lieutenant Commander Roberts, sir, and Lieutenant Sims," Bud answered immediately, subconsciously straightening slightly.

Mac smothered a grin and clarified for Harm's benefit, "Bud and Harriet." Bud looked vaguely embarrassed at forgetting to include their first names. Harriet seemed much more interested in searching for every nuance of Harm and Mac's relationship to notice though.

Harm glanced over at Sturgis, feeling a vague sense of unease trickle through him. He had no idea why he felt that way about only this specific person, the others had seemed merely familiar but he felt some bigger connection to the black man. His smile fading Harm cocked his head and stated, absently tightening his grip on Mac's hand, "So that leaves you."

Sturgis nodded, replying in a calm baritone, "Yes, it does. Commander Sturgis Turner."

Harm nodded slightly in return, still unsure of what to make of all this. He was beginning to feel slightly overwhelmed. He knew that he should know these people but he had no clue why or how or really who they were. After a moment he asked, "So… where do I know you guys from?"

Mac answered for the group, keeping an eye on Harm as she tried to figure out when she needed to ask people to leave, "They all work with us, Harm."

"Ah," was the only response she received as he continued to study the four others. Images flickered through his mind, brief flashes of parties, court cases, arguments, and more but nothing was very concrete. He didn't even have a real sense of when any of the events happened; it was just a jumbled mess of fragments.

There was another awkward silence as everyone in the room tried to come to grips with the situation. Harriet and Bud were the most confused, having experienced Harm's previous amnesia after his crash into the Atlantic. They kept reminding themselves that then he could remember most things up to a year prior whereas this time he couldn't remember anything. Harriet was quietly thrilled that the situation seemed to have had a positive impact on Harm and Mac's relationship though. But she opted not to say anything at the moment, wanting to speak to Mac alone about it first.

The silence was becoming deafening when Sturgis cleared his throat, "Well, we'd better get back to work then. Mac, you'll keep us updated?"

She nodded, "Of course. Actually, I'll walk you guys out." Mac stood, gently disentangling her hand from Harm's as she looked down at him, "I won't be long, ok?"

Harm nodded and half-smiled, commenting wryly, "I'm not going anywhere." Chuckling briefly at him she spontaneously dropped a light kiss on the top of his head before straightening fully. He cocked his head at her, the half-smile still in place. Her gaze locked with his for a brief moment.

Grinning at the bemused look in his eyes she murmured teasingly, "You object?"

He grinned back, eyes twinkling in honest happiness for the first time in weeks as he replied, "Never." Neither of them noticed the shocked looks on their friends' faces.

Nodding slightly Mac restated, "I'll be back in a moment." Receiving a nod from the still bemused Harm, Mac turned to face the group who quickly schooled their expressions. They didn't do so quickly enough, however, and Mac's eyes narrowed slightly in contemplation. "There a problem?"

"Uh… no, ma'am," Bud smiled brightly, "Not at all."

"Uh-huh…" Mac nodded slightly, not really believing him but opting to drop the subject for now. She would harass them about it later. Scooping up her crutches from where they were propped against the wall, she asked instead, "Shall we?"

Nodding, the group filed out, bidding goodbye to Harm as they went. After they'd left Harm let out a slow breath and relaxed slowly. The meeting had tensed him up more than he'd realized though he wasn't really sure why. But everything seemed to tense him up these days, a paranoid reaction to not remembering anything was what he'd been told. _Well whatever it is, it's damned annoying_, he thought irritably. Sighing he looked out the window, waiting for Mac to return.

Mac closed the door quietly behind her then turned and eyed the four friends standing in the hallway. After a moment she headed for the waiting area. Exchanging glances the foursome sighed and followed, knowing they weren't going to leave the hospital without being grilled. And none of them could think of a plausible reason to leave before that, knowing Mac would see through any excuse to try to get back to work.

Once they'd entered the room she turned back to them and asked calmly, "So what the hell was that all about?"

"All what, ma'am?" asked Harriet, sounding perfectly innocent.

Mac arched an eyebrow at the other woman, "You know what I'm talking about, Harriet. What was with the reactions, guys?"

"Well, Mac, we weren't exactly expecting to walk in and have him not recognize us," Sturgis answered, clearly annoyed at the lack of information.

Mac sighed and turned to sit in one of the ubiquitous hard, plastic chairs that populated waiting rooms. Looking up at them she frowned, "What was I supposed to say?"

"Well, a warning would have been nice," Sturgis shot back.

"Right, so you could all come in and tiptoe around him? Honestly, I thought you would react better than that, especially you, Sturgis, though god only knows why," she snapped. The rest of the group looked rather taken aback by the sudden vehemence of Mac's reply. Sturgis narrowed his eyes, ignoring their presence. Mac glared back, pissed at his lack of concern over his supposed long-time friend's condition. Standing abruptly Mac stated, "I need to get back."

"Uh, ma'am?" Bud spoke up tentatively.

Slowly Mac breathed in and out, calming herself slightly before answering in a much less acidic voice, "Yes, Bud?"

"Well, the Article 32 for Lieutenant Vukovic is tomorrow," he explained. Mac nodded wordlessly. "We were hoping you would agree to be a witness for the prosecution since you're back in town."

Mac glanced upwards for a moment, then back at Bud, "Yeah, sure. Let me know what time." Bud nodded, relieved.

Sturgis interjected, "Harm's presence would be greatly beneficial also."

"No!" Mac cut him off sharply. She glared at Sturgis, her previous anger flooding back, "You will **not **call him."

"But Mac—"

"No, Commander. Harm is not medically, emotionally, or mentally fit to be a witness. Damnit, Sturgis, he can't even remember what happened! Leave him alone, he needs time to recover not to be pestered with questions he can't answer!" Sturgis took an involuntary step back, surprised at the anger in her voice. He knew her feelings for Harm but he'd never expected such an aggressive defense of his Naval Academy buddy.

"Mac, just his presence in the room would be beneficial. The judge needs to see the results of these charges!"

"Don't you dare. He's not allowed out of the hospital; he can't sit up, can't walk, he can barely move. What are you going to do, haul him to the court room in a hospital bed with half a dozen monitors and an IV attached so he can watch proceedings about events he doesn't remember happening?"

Sturgis frowned, "Fine. Can we call him for the court martial then? It won't be for a few weeks, he should be out of the hospital then, won't he?"

"If he can remember what happened, if he's out of the hospital and _if _he agrees." The others had surreptitiously edged away from the confrontation, watching with varying degrees of surprise and anger. They couldn't understand why this issue had exploded so much. They'd seen the tension between Harm and Mac and Sturgis but none of them knew the whole story.

Carefully Bud interrupted, "Ma'am, we won't call him if he's not able, I promise." Mac nodded sharply though her eyes never left Sturgis until he nodded in agreement also.

Turning away, she forced a smile, "I'm going back to Harm's room. Stop by and visit again, guys."

Harriet spoke up, "I'll stay a bit longer if you don't mind, ma'am."

"What about the kids, Harriet?"

"They're with Mike; he only has one class later today so I'm free for another couple hours."

Mac smiled slightly, "Sure, Harriet, stay a little longer." Harriet hugged Bud and Jen goodbye quickly, favored Sturgis with a slightly subdued version of her usual bubbly smile before walking alongside Mac back to Harm's room. Glancing into the room, Mac told Harm quietly, "Hey, I'm going to be just a bit longer, ok? I want to talk to Harriet for a bit."

He looked over at her and smiled, slightly disappointed, "Ok."

Mac frowned at him slightly, "You sure it's ok?"

Mentally castigating himself for being so selfish, Harm flashed a full smile, "Yeah, its fine. Go talk, I'll take a nap or something, count some clouds." Smiling back at him she ducked back out of the room.

* * *

"So, Harriet, what did you want to talk about?" Mac asked as she lowered herself into a chair. She smiled at her long time friend, settling the crutches against the wall next to her. Watching as the other woman sat in the chair next to her she arched an eyebrow curiously, patiently waiting for Harriet to explain.

Harriet tried to look vaguely surprised, "I just wanted to see how you were doing, ma'am. I haven't spoken to you in weeks."

Mac didn't buy it for a second. Her lips curved in slight amusement, "I'm doing fine, much better with Harm back in the States. But that's not what you wanted to talk to me about."

Harriet studied her friend for a long moment before grinning, "It was worth a try." She edged forward in her seat and looked at Mac expectantly, her voice clearly indicating she wouldn't stand for any evasions, "So what's with you and the Commander?"

"What makes you think there's anything 'with us'? We're best friends, Harriet," Mac pointed out with a smile. She knew Harriet wouldn't believe her but she couldn't help but put up a token attempt at innocence.

Harriet sat back, looking slightly offended that her friend would try such a transparent protest. Almost immediately, however, the look was gone and replaced by another grin. Mac couldn't help but note that Harriet acted more like a teenager sitting up late at a sleepover gossiping about boys than a grown woman. Harriet asked again, thoroughly excited at the thought that her two good friends might actually be hooking up. "Yes, you're best friends. But there's more there or you wouldn't have kissed him!" she stated triumphantly.

Mac blinked in shock, rapidly sifting through her recent memories. At the time it had seemed like a perfectly logical action but now, confronted with it, she suddenly felt the implications of the action hit her. Slowly a silly grin spread across her face as she murmured, "I did, didn't I?"

Harriet looked at her knowingly, "Ma'am, there's always been something between you, but today it was a bit more noticeable."

Mac laughed, "Ok, fine, I'll tell you. But if we're going to be discussing my personal life the least you could do is call me Mac." Harriet laughed with her and nodded in agreement. Mac mused for a moment, pondering the best approach to the subject. Shooting a sidelong glance at her longtime friend she opted for the direct approach, knowing no matter how she phrased it Harriet was going to practically explode with excitement. "We're in love," she stated simply.

Harriet squealed and threw her arms around Mac. Grinning in amusement Mac hugged her back, wincing slightly when her ribs got crushed just a bit too much. But she shrugged off the pain, smiling as Harriet pulled back. Harriet grinned broadly, eyes dancing with excitement as she bubbled, "Details! What's happening next? Are you getting married? Are you both staying at JAG?"

Mac held up a hand to stem the flow of rapid fire questions. Laughing she answered them in order, "I don't know, I don't know, and I don't know." Harriet looked at her askance, clearly unnerved by the lack of information, prompting another laugh from Mac. Settling as comfortably as she could into the chair Mac explained, "Look, Harriet, we've only just gotten Harm back into the States and safe. He still doesn't remember most of his life and he has a ways to go on recovery. We haven't discussed future plans yet, right now we're comfortable with how things stand."

Harriet cocked her head to the side and asked curiously, "Did he remember anything at all when you found him?"

Mac nodded slowly, eyeing her friend and waiting for the inevitable repeat of the squealing when she explained, "A little bit, not much." She paused and took a slow breath, continuing quickly before Harriet could barrage her with more questions asking how much he remembered, "He remembered me."

Stunned, Harriet looked at Mac in surprise before slowly repeating, "He remembered you?" At Mac's answering nod Harriet sighed happily, "Oh that's so romantic."

Mac chuckled briefly and rolled her eyes in amusement, "If you say so."

Indignant, Harriet insisted, "It is! That's so sweet!" She paused and looked at her friend shrewdly, jumping back to her first questions, "Do you want to marry him?"

Glancing at Harriet, Mac nodded, smiling slightly. Then she shrugged, "Yes, but there are other things we need to worry about first, like this court martial." Mac grimaced, remembering the last time she'd seen Vukovic and grateful that, after getting him out of her apartment, she had managed to avoid him. She knew it was only a matter of time before he showed up at the hospital, however. Harriet studied Mac's profile thoughtfully, noting the grimace. She'd pestered Bud for as many details as he was allowed to share but she knew no one had the entire story except Mac, Harm, and Vukovic. Out of the three there was only one she stood a chance of getting said story from and she had a feeling that person wouldn't be in a very sharing mood anyways. She didn't get a chance to ask, however, before Mac changed the subject, "So how are the twins doing?"

Harriet chuckled, deciding to go with the subject change knowing that Mac wouldn't react well to pressure about Iraq, "They're a handful, but so adorable. I don't think Jimmy quite knows how to react to them and AJ, well I don't think AJ knows what to think. He tends to go from being thrilled to wishing they were gone, typical five year old."

Mac laughed softly, she could just picture AJ's reaction to his two new siblings. "After Harm gets out of the hospital and this court martial is over, we could baby-sit some night if you and Bud want to go out," she offered.

Harriet frowned in concern, "Are you sure? Harm will be in a wheelchair for a while; I wouldn't want to burden you two."

Mac smiled wryly, "Ok, well maybe not right away. But after Harm is better."

There was a brief silence before Harriet nodded with a smile, "Ok, if that's what you want, are you sure though? I'm sure the two of you have plenty of other things to worry about than our kids."

"Harriet, I'm sure. We'd love to watch them." Mac pushed herself out of the chair, grabbing her crutches, "Speaking of Harm, I should get back. Thanks for coming by, Harriet." She flashed a smile, "After things have died down we'll have to get together." Exchanging a final hug with her friend Mac hobbled back towards Harm's room. Harriet stood and watched her speculatively, eventually turning to make her way to the elevator; she had so much she needed to tell Bud. She couldn't wait for him to get home.

* * *

Mac peeked into Harm's room and noticed he had his eyes closed. Assuming he was asleep she slipped into the room as quietly as possible, carefully shutting the door behind her. When she turned around she jumped slightly, startled to find his eyes open and his gaze fixed on her. Smiling at him she spoke softly, "Hey."

"Hey. Have fun?" She returned the smile though she noticed a slight reservation in his eyes.

Her smile faded slightly as she moved to his bedside. Nodding she replied, "Yeah, I did. She's bubbly as ever and ecstatic."

"Ecstatic? About what?" His expression lightened slightly as she reached his side but she could tell he was still more distant then before.

Settling into her chair she chuckled at the memory of Harriet and nodded. Still laughing she elaborated, "She suspected something was "up with us," as she put it and became fairly giddy when I confirmed."

Harm cocked his head slightly, puzzled, "Why?"

Mac shrugged slightly, reminding herself that Harm wouldn't remember Harriet's normal attitude. Nor would he remember her tendency to want everyone to be as happy as she was. She explained, "Harriet's… the type of person who wants everyone else to be happy and she also has some…" Mac trailed off pondering how to continue. After a moment she finished, "Matchmaker tendencies."

Harm pondered this for a moment, an amused smile lurking around his mouth. She could hear the amusement in his voice when he spoke, "So basically you told her we'd talked about our feelings and now she's bouncing off the walls?"

Mac nodded, smiling wryly, "Basically."

Harm let out a brief chuckle then frowned, "What was up with that Sturgis fellow?" Mac felt the amusement leave her in a rush. She frowned, mulling over the events that had led to Harm and Sturgis' estrangement, or at least those events she knew of. "Mac?" the sound of Harm's voice jerked her out of her reverie.

Smiling wanly at him she briefly explained, "Sturgis was acting JAG for a while. We had our… issues with him and more recently you and he had a, um, falling out."

"Falling out? Mac, the guy thought I was a murderer!" Harm burst out.

Mac looked at him, startled, "What?"

He frowned, eyeing her curiously, "What?"

"You just said… he thought you were a murderer. You remember?"

Harm blinked at her, almost as surprised as she was. He pondered this for a moment, reviewing the conversation in his mind and struggling to dredge up the memories that had prompted the outburst. Finally he managed, "I… I don't know. I mean, I know that statement is true, I can feel it. But I can't quite remember the events that make it true."

Gently she asked, trying not to push him too hard but knowing he needed to continue talking, "What do you remember?"

His gaze grew distant as he wrestled with his uncooperative memories, "I was flying. There was something wrong, then an explosion. He came… investigating… me? Something about the explosion… then I was being accused of murdering someone. But it wasn't true… they were… not dead? I don't know; it's all little fragments that don't want to order themselves." He heaved an angry sigh, thoroughly frustrated. Scowling at nothing he looked back to the window, gazing determinedly outside as if the view would bring him his answers.

Mac watched him for a long moment, concerned. Tentatively she asked, "Harm? What's bothering you?"

"I just… don't like not remembering everything."

"No, there's something else." She could see him tense slightly at the question and her frown deepened. "Harm?" Sighing softly he finally looked at her again. She could see the fear dancing in his eyes though he tried to hide it. "Tell me?"

He gazed at her silently for a long moment before replying quietly, "I'm scared. I feel like I'm losing you and I don't know how to stop it."

Mac's eyes widen slightly in shock. Slowly she answered, "You're not losing me, Harm, I promise."

"Then why won't you tell me what's bothering you?" His gaze locked firmly on hers. She saw fear as he looked at her and yet more than that she could see his love for her, allowing herself for the first time to really see his feelings. And she could see his need for her to talk to him, his own need to help her with whatever was bothering her.

She hadn't even acknowledged it to herself but he'd picked up on her own hesitation and fear. Mac studied him for a long moment, allowing herself the luxury of looking at him without fear of discovery or worry that he wouldn't return her feelings. Finally she replied, not insulting his intelligence by denying that something was bothering her. But she didn't answer with a statement, instead she asked simply, mind flashing back to the last time she had asked the same question, "Will you always be there?"

Harm watched the emotions flicker through her gaze, his breath hitching slightly. Slowly he nodded; his own voice just as quiet as he assured her, "Always." His lips quirked slightly and he reached across his chest to grab at her hand which was resting on the bed. Gently he laced his fingers with hers, careful not to jar his fractured wrist. His gaze was still locked with hers as he added softly, "And when you don't want me anymore, I'll still be here."

Mac's gaze dropped to their entwined hands and a slow smile spread across her face. She looked back up at Harm, meeting his eyes once more. His gaze searched hers for a moment then he smiled back, tightening his grip slightly. They still had much to talk about, though he couldn't remember the specifics yet, but he knew they'd taken a step in the right direction.

Lightly he tugged on her hand, silently asking her to move closer. Her smile turned flirtatious as she complied, leaning closer. Her other hand was resting lightly on the bed. Raising it, Mac gently brushed the side of Harm's face, tracing the line of his jaw. He smiled tenderly up at her; he couldn't wait for the day he could actually move his right arm and return the gesture. They were only a few inches apart when they heard the door open and an overly cheerful voice call out, "Colonel MacKenzie! Commander Rabb!"

The pair jerked apart immediately, causing Harm to yelp in pain when Mac inadvertently tugged on his hand. Completely forgetting about the intruder Mac's attention focused fully on Harm. Mentally cursing herself for forgetting his injuries she cradled his left wrist and frowned worriedly at him, "Oh God, Harm, I'm sorry. Are you alright? Do I need to get the doctor?"

Harm gritted his teeth and shook his head, breathing slowly as he waited for the flash of pain to subside. He glanced at Mac and flashed a subdued smile, murmuring in response to her near panicked look, "I'll be fine, just give me a second."

"Are you sure?"

His smile brightened slightly and he felt himself relax slowly as the pain subsided, "Positive, I'm fine, Sarah."

Mac quirked a smile at him, her voice dry as she commented, "You'd tell me that even if you were on the verge of death." He chuckled in a wordless acknowledgment of her statement.

Cocking an eyebrow at her he grinned and rejoined, "Ah, but so would you. So we're even, wouldn't you say?" Whatever response she had planned was interrupted by the newcomer clearing his throat. Slowly Harm looked past Mac to find a young naval officer standing just inside the door. He frowned, taking an instant dislike to the young man. There was something about him that jarred his mind. The way the guy was looking at Mac didn't help any. Careful to keep his voice controlled he inquired, "And just who the hell are you?"

Mac closed her eyes briefly, still facing Harm so the other man couldn't see. She'd recognized the voice the instant she'd heard it. Opening her eyes again she studied Harm's reaction closely, not wanting to turn around just yet. Harm glanced at her briefly and she smiled faintly. Sighing softly she turned to face the lieutenant, still keeping one hand resting lightly on Harm's.

* * *

_harmfan- thanks! it's a weird feeling having a degree, I miss being a student. :-)_

_martini- Vukapuc (heh, love the name) is stupid, oh yes, and going to prison. Eventually... once I get it written. _

_eagleandrose- nono, never forget about y'all, I promise. It's just life keeps doing it's best to keep me from writing._

_carbygurl- thanks:-D  
_

_AB- thanks:-D  
_

_Tina- we'll see. ;-)_

_Sunset- thanks a bunch!_

_Michelle- hehe, don't worry I love them too!_

_Sithwitch- :HUGE huggles: thanks so much for everything! Including listening to me yammer on about a show you barely watch! though, ha! I got you watching it too!_


	23. Chapter 23

_Disclaimer: As usual, don't own them, wish I did._

_Ha! Told you it wouldn't be as long! Not as soon as I would have liked but I had to go out of town yet again. Fortunately, this should be the last time for a while as my apartment situation and whatnot is all finally cleared up. Thanks to MichelleLee, harmfan, mjag, zeilfanaat, froggy, EY, Delilah Wigglesworth, Radiorox, cbw, MartinaCruz, BrittanyLS, snugglebug, minorcadence, starryeyes, Beach chick, and anyone else I missed! I really appreciate you all reading my story and taking the time to review. Thanks to everyone who's reading this (who'd've thought people actually like my writing? go figure). So here's chapter 23, enjoy!

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_

The smile that Vukovic had plastered on his face slipped slightly as he glanced between the two other officers in confusion. His eyes narrowed slightly as he took in the sight of Mac and Harm holding hands. He was fairly certain of what he'd interrupted but since he hadn't actually seen anything he couldn't press the issue. Of course this seriously put a crimp in his plans.

Vukovic was jerked from his musings by the sound of a throat clearing. He frowned slightly when he realized Commander Rabb was glaring at him while Colonel MacKenzie was gazing at him impassively, one eyebrow arched slightly. Forcing another smile he started, "Sir, Ma'am, how are you --"

He didn't get a chance to finish the sentence as Harm cut him off, asking again, this time more forcefully, "Who are you?"

Vukovic blinked in surprise, answering automatically, "Lieutenant Gregory Vukovic." He didn't notice the way Harm tensed at the name, nor did he see the slight pressure Mac exerted on her partner's shoulder as she shot him a warning look. Silently acquiescing, Harm subsided, still glaring at the lieutenant. He'd gotten the same sense of familiarity from the young man as from the previous officers. But this time the recognition was tinged with a distinct dislike for the man and hearing the name jolted memories free.

Mac glanced at him again and subtly tightened her hand. She could tell from the look in his eyes that he was remembering events but she didn't want him causing a scene. Harm glanced at her, his eyes clearly saying "who me?" Mac looked hard at him, silently reinforcing the desire for him to stay quiet. He quirked a smile back, conceding for the moment before he looked back at Vukovic who was looking more confused by the moment.

The lieutenant hadn't had much chance to observe the pair on the carrier or in country and what he saw now left him floundering. He'd heard they were close but this silent communication was unnerving. His gaze snapped back to Mac as she spoke, her voice cool, "So, lieutenant, what brings you here?"

"I wanted to see how you two were doing, ma'am," he flashed a smile, doing his best to seem sincere. Harm snorted softly, unimpressed. Vukovic's smile faded as he asked tentatively, "And I um, was wondering if I could speak to you, ma'am? About a few things?"

Mac gazed at him steadily, "So talk."

"In private?"

She immediately shook her head, stating adamantly, "No, you can either talk here or not at all. For that matter, shouldn't you be escorted?"

Vukovic stiffened, _how dare she?_ The thought flitted across his mind but he squashed it, not wanting thoughts like that to affect how he spoke. Though he agreed he needed to seem as charming and friendly as possible to have any hope of getting through to her. _Of course it'd help if her blasted friend wasn't sitting next to her_. He still refused to think of Harm as her partner. He managed to reply calmly, forcing the smile to stay on his face, "My lawyer and the court agreed that I needed to be neither confined nor escorted prior to the hearing."

"Ah," Mac nodded noncommittally. She'd been expecting that to be the case as the hearing wasn't really an admission that he was guilty of anything and seeing as he wasn't being accused of violent crimes it made sense. In his lawyer's place she'd have done the same, but then again, as someone on the other side she really wished he had been locked up, if only for her own sanity. When he didn't continue she cocked her head slightly, "Well?"

"Ma'am, I'd really prefer to speak to you in private."

This time it was Harm who spoke up. His voice didn't give away any of the anger he was feeling, but for the first time since he'd been found he sounded very much like a Navy Commander, "That's not going to happen, lieutenant."

Vukovic looked startled; he hadn't been expecting the commander to interfere, especially not after the apparent memory loss. He studied the man lying in the bed intently for a moment and felt vaguely uncomfortable when he realized he could detect no sign that Harm was anything but the man he usually was. Vukovic began to wonder if the initial question had simply been a ruse on the part of the two older officers. Suddenly he wasn't sure of anything. Clearing his throat he answered, "With all due respect, sir, that's not up to you."

Harm gazed back, his face impassive as he watched the lieutenant. Internally he smiled smugly when Vukovic squirmed slightly, uncomfortable under the scrutiny. However, Harm didn't reply, allowing Mac to take charge of the conversation again. Mac couldn't keep the irritation out of her voice when she answered and Harm could feel the tenseness in her hand, "Commander Rabb is correct, lieutenant, and I am getting tired of repeating myself. Now, you can either discuss whatever it is you wished to discuss or you can leave."

Vukovic sighed in frustration, shooting Mac an annoyed glance. _Why does she have to make everything so difficult?_, he wondered irritably. Finally he asked, trying to phrase his question as carefully as possible, "I was wondering about your report. On the Iraq situation."

"That's none of your business, lieutenant." Mac was gradually getting more annoyed, she wished he would just leave, _or better yet, drop off the face of the earth_. Unfortunately neither seemed to be too likely at the moment.

Without thinking he shot back, "My career is certainly my business, colonel."

Mac stiffened, narrowing her eyes at Vukovic. Quietly she replied, "Watch your tone, lieutenant, before I add disrespecting a superior officer to your charges."

Silently Vukovic ground his teeth together. He spoke carefully, trying to keep the irritation out of his voice, "My apologies, Colonel. The report seems to be directly affecting my career; I was interested in what you said."

She cocked her head to the side slightly, "That's none of your business, lieutenant. My report is mine; I wrote the facts and submitted it to the general."

"I see, and that had nothing to do with the charges that have suddenly been brought against me?" This time he couldn't keep the edge of anger from his voice.

Mac's own voice grew harder, Harm could tell she was pissed and was rather amazed that the lieutenant couldn't see it. "Whatever charges have been brought against you are being brought by the United States Navy, not me. You have a problem with them bring it up with General Cresswell."

"So you're telling me you had nothing to do with it?"

"I think it's time you left, lieutenant," Harm interjected, his voice steely. He didn't bother to hide his anger, fixing Vukovic with a cold stare.

Vukovic shot him a glance, becoming more furious by the moment, "Not until I have my answer, _sir_."

"Lieutenant Vukovic!" Mac snapped out, causing the lieutenant to jump slightly. His head snapped up and he automatically straightened. Glowering at him Mac slowly stood, her voice quiet, "You need to leave, now."

"I --"

"You are dismissed, _lieutenant_. Rest assured I will be bringing this up with the General." He gaped at her, unable to comprehend that she was threatening him. His mind flashed back to her previous threat to report him, but he had a sinking feeling that this time she meant it. "_Now_, lieutenant." Vukovic snapped his mouth shut and came stiffly to attention. With a sharp nod he turned on his heel and stalked out, practically shaking with anger.

Mac waited until the door had shut behind him before sinking back into the chair, dropping her head into her hands. Harm looked over at her, feeling his ire increase more. He'd disliked the lieutenant from the second he'd seen him, both in this meeting and his first meeting. He knew he was biased because of Mac's own dislike for the lieutenant but he couldn't really see any reason to change his own opinion. The conversation had brought back memories, both of his initial meetings with the lieutenant in JAG headquarters and again on the carrier.

"_It's not that I don't like him…"_

_Harm grinned again and finished her sentence, "It's just that you don't like him."_

He sighed softly, remembering Mac's assessment of the lieutenant when he first arrived on the carrier. Harm had found it a bit odd at the time but after hearing her description of his actions during the investigation he couldn't fault her for it. And once he'd seen for himself how the lieutenant looked at her Harm had decided he would gladly maim the younger man.

Now, after actually witnessing a confrontation between them Harm wanted to maim him just on general principle. Realizing Mac still hadn't spoken he looked back over at her in concern. Cursing the fact that he was practically immobile for what had to be the millionth time he asked softly, "Mac?"

She didn't look at him, muttering into her hands, "I swear, I'm going to kill him."

Harm grinned impishly, "Can I help?"

She peered at him over her fingers. Seeing the grin she chuckled, shaking her head slightly in resignation. After a moment she replied, moving her hands slightly so as to be heard more clearly, "Unfortunately I think the General would frown on that."

He winked back at her, asking jokingly, "Who said he has to know?" She looked at him askance for a moment before laughing. Smiling contentedly, Harm settled back into his pillows, his mission accomplished. After a moment he frowned slightly, commenting, "Still, you definitely should talk to Cresswell about this."

Mac muttered darkly, "Oh trust me, I will." They sat in companionable silence for a few minutes before Mac sighed softly, "Will you be ok for an hour or so?"

Harm looked up at her, startled, "I suppose so, why? Where are you going?"

She smiled reassuringly at his concern, "Just home to change and repack my bag. And to feed the dog."

He frowned, "Dog? I don't remember much but I'm fairly certain you didn't have a dog before."

She laughed softly, "No, you're right, I didn't." Her mirth was gone swiftly, replaced by a sad frown as she recalled the circumstances surrounding Hammer's purchase. Harm watched her carefully but didn't speak, sensing that she would elaborate in a moment. After a short time she added, "I bought him while you were missing."

"Ah," he thought about that for a moment before asking, "What's his name?"

Mac smiled slightly, her eyes reflecting her amusement, "Hammer."

Harm blinked, "You named your dog after me?" Slowly a silly grin spread across his face as he repeated, softer this time and with a hint of astonishment, "You named your dog after me…"

Mac grinned and nodded, ruffling his hair affectionately, "Yes, I did, don't let it go to your head, flyboy."

Harm flashed her an endearingly innocent, little boy look as he asked, "Who me?"

Laughing out loud she nodded, "Yes, you." She shot the door an irritated glance as if silently warning it to stay closed this time before leaning over and kissing him softly. Pulling away after a long moment, Mac rested her forehead against his, murmuring, "You're sure you'll be fine?"

He smiled up at her and stole a kiss before answering, "I'll be fine. Though, I do fully expect to meet this dog with my name at some point."

Chuckling she dropped another kiss on the top of his head as she stood, "Don't worry, you will. I'll be back as soon as I can."

"OK," Harm watched her hobble across the room. She had just reached the door when he called out, "Mac?" When she turned her head to look at him quizzically he smiled and added softly, "I love you."

Flashing him a brilliant smile, she answered, "I love you, too." She held his gaze for a moment more before turning and slipping through the doorway, anxious to get home and back as quickly as she could. In his room Harm let out a slow breath, relaxing back against the pillow with a foolish grin on his face. He shifted his gaze to the window, idly watching the passerby.

* * *

**Same Day**

**Mac's Apartment**

**1630 ZULU**

Clayton Webb paced in front of Mac's apartment irritably. He was still miffed over that incident with the MPs in Naples. Sure, the Agency had gotten him out within the hour but the idea that he'd actually been arrested, however temporary, irritated him. The fact that Sarah hadn't even seemed concerned about it, hadn't attempted to correct the story just added insult to injury. Huffing in annoyance he glanced at his watch for what had to be the hundredth time in the past ten minutes. He knew she was back in the States but so far hadn't shown up at her apartment. He also knew she was most likely at the hospital with Harm, but at the moment Clay had no great inclination to be around large concentrations of military personnel.

He heard the elevator door open and froze in mid-step, head swiveling around to see who would exit. Silently he watched as she exited the elevator then stopped when she noticed him. Clay frowned slightly at the look of irritation that flickered across her face before he forced a smile, "Hello, Sarah."

Mac sighed and began moving forward again, pulling out her keys, "What do you want, Clay?"

"I wanted to apologize. For Italy."

She glanced at him sidelong, "Fine, you apologized."

Clay sighed in frustration, "Will you at least talk to me?"

"No," Mac juggled her bag around so she could open the door, intending to close it in his face once inside.

Unfortunately he set his hand against it, preventing her from doing so. Taking a deep breath he spoke as calmly as he could, "Look, Sarah, I'm sorry, I just want you to be happy."

Mac stopped dead and turned slowly, an incredulous look on her face, "Excuse me?"

"I want you to be happy."

"I am happy. With Harm."

He gave her a pleading look, "Just give me one more chance?"

"One more chance for you to vanish? So you can pretend to be dead and god knows what else? No, I don't think so."

"Sarah --"

"No, Clay. We're done, I'm with Harm, and it's going to stay that way."

He gazed at her silently for a long moment before finally nodding slightly. "I see. Tell him to get well soon." With a final nod and sad smile, Clay dropped his hand, allowing the door to close. He stared at the door for a long moment before shaking his head slightly and turning for the stairs. He didn't like the result but he finally realized all he was doing was pushing her further into Harm's arms. Clay finally had to concede he'd lost to the Commander in the end. Despite all that had happened in and after Paraguay she still loved him.

* * *

**Bethesda, US Naval Hospital**

**1730 ZULU**

"Hey," Harm smiled as Mac entered the room. He was beyond bored and grateful he had company again. Of course it didn't hurt that the company was in the form of his partner.

Mac smiled back, "Hey yourself." Dropping her repacked bag against the wall she made her way to Harm's bed. Settling herself into her chair she grinned at the disappointed look on his face, "What?"

"Don't I get a kiss hello?" He gave her his best puppy dog look though she could see the humor glinting in his eyes.

Chuckling she leaned over, "I suppose so." She kissed him softly, lingering for a moment before pulling away slightly. She smiled and murmured against his lips, "Hello."

He grinned back, murmuring in reply, "Hello." Mac moved back in her chair, absently holding his right hand with hers. Harm studied her for a moment, still grinning. His brow furrowed slightly as he commented, "You changed." He took in the sight of her in jeans and a long sleeved shirt; she'd been in uniform since the first time he'd woken up.

She nodded, eyes twinkling in amusement at his observation, "General Cresswell called while I was home. He put me back on medical leave until Wednesday so I figured I might as well be comfortable."

Harm grinned smugly at her; "I could help with that…" he trailed off suggestively.

Laughing, Mac batted him lightly on the shoulder, "Maybe some other day, flyboy."

Still grinning, he nodded, "I'll hold you to that." They sat in silence for a moment before Harm asked, "Did the General have anything else to say?"

Mac gave a one armed shrug, "Just a reminder that Vukovic's Article 32 is tomorrow."

"You'll be going?"

Mac smiled grimly, "I'll be testifying."

Harm snorted softly, "He won't know what hit him." She nodded in wordless agreement. He cocked his head slightly, "Did you talk to him about earlier?"

"I mentioned it. He wants me to talk to him about it in person during a recess."

He gave her a sympathetic look, "Sounds fun." Mac grimaced, she still wasn't certain about the General's attitude towards her since the Iraq situation. Cresswell hadn't mentioned it since their initial conversation but that didn't calm Mac's nerves any. Shaking her head slightly she pushed the thoughts away, deciding to worry about things tomorrow.

* * *

**JAG Headquarters**

**1730 ZULU**

Sturgis stared at the file in front of him unseeingly. Irritated, he slapped it closed, leaning back in his chair with a huff. He and Bud had been working on their case ever since returning from the hospital and everything seemed to be falling into place. Sturgis had sent Bud off to lunch ten minutes earlier and had intended on going to eat also. _So why am I still sitting in my office?_ he wondered.

He knew why, though Bud hadn't mentioned it he could sense the younger man's confusion and disapproval at his reaction to Harm. Sturgis couldn't fault him for it; he didn't even know himself why he'd acted that way. Admittedly, Harm's presence would be beneficial to the prosecution but he'd clearly seen the IV and monitors his longtime friend was hooked up to. Sturgis couldn't actually fathom how Harm had survived, judging by the number of casts and bandages it appeared that his fellow officer should have been long dead.

Sighing, Sturgis dropped his head back, resting it on the back of his chair. After the realization of Harm's predicament he should've left well enough alone. He didn't know why he'd tried to push the issue at all. Correction, he did know, he just wasn't terribly happy with himself about it. Maybe Harm and Mac were right about his attitude. Letting out another sigh Sturgis concluded he probably needed to apologize to both of them, and then sit down and have a long talk with them about everything.

Glancing at the clock, he stood. He'd apologize later; first he had a hearing to win for his friends. Smiling slightly as he recalled the interaction between the pair, he grabbed his cover and headed to lunch.

* * *

Bud chuckled to himself as he ended the call on his cell. Harriet had left him a message to call her during his lunch. He'd done so only to have his ear talked off by his excited wife about Harm and Mac. Bud was certain he now knew much more about his two friends than he ever wanted to, most of it speculation on Harriet's part. 

He couldn't deny that there had always been something between the two lawyers. For that matter, he knew very well there was something there, as his previously broken jaw could attest. But he'd opted to ignore it and not pry, having no desire to get tangled up in whatever complicated mess their relationship tended to be. His wife on the other hand had completely opposite ideas. With a grin he recalled her ecstatic squeal as she'd informed him proudly that Commander Rabb and Colonel MacKenzie were in love and that Colonel MacKenzie had said so herself.

He felt somewhat sorry for the two of them, knowing Harriet would now try everything to get every last bit of information from them. Bud had at least managed to persuade her to leave them alone until after the hearing was finished. Which meant she'd be calling Colonel MacKenzie the second Bud told her the hearing results but he couldn't help that. Taking a quick look at his watch he realized he still had time to eat before meeting with Commander Turner again.

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Vukovic came to attention in front of General Cresswell's desk, stating, "Lieutenant Vukovic reporting as ordered, sir." He wondered if the General could hear his pounding heart. He had no idea why he was here. Vukovic had received a call an hour ago from Jen telling him the General wanted to see him at 1230 sharp. So he stood, wondering desperately why he'd been called and having a sinking feeling that it had something to do with the conversation in Commander Rabb's hospital room. 

The General had yet to acknowledge him and Vukovic was tempted to repeat himself. Deciding that would be a bad idea he continued to stand at attention, waiting tensely for Cresswell to speak. The General appeared to be more engrossed in the papers on his desk than in the officer standing in his office. After a few minutes Vukovic shifted restlessly. He was about to speak up when Cresswell ordered absently, "At ease, lieutenant"

Cautiously Vukovic shifted to rest position, watching the General warily. Cresswell hadn't even glanced at him, still intently perusing his paperwork. Finally, after what seemed to be an interminable wait, General Cresswell set aside his papers and looked up at the lieutenant, folding his hands on his desk. He still didn't speak, however, studying the young man in silence. Vukovic shifted uncomfortably and finally asked, "You wanted to see me, sir?"

Cresswell leaned back in his chair with an almost casual air, "Yes, I did, lieutenant. You went to visit Commander Rabb this morning?"

Vukovic frowned slightly and answered slowly, "Yes, sir."

"And how is the Commander?"

"He seemed… well enough, sir."

"And the Colonel?"

"Sir?"

"Colonel MacKenzie, she was there was she not?"

"I uh… yes, sir."

"So then, how was the Colonel doing, lieutenant?" Cresswell watched Vukovic intently, his expression giving nothing away.

Vukovic swallowed and replied carefully, "Tense, sir."

"Well, I suppose that's to be expected isn't it?"

"Yes, sir…" Vukovic was starting to panic slightly. He wasn't sure where the General was going with this but he knew it wasn't good. The questions were perfectly innocuous, nothing hinting that he had any knowledge of what had happened at the hospital but Vukovic felt his stomach slowly tying itself in knots.

Abruptly Cresswell leaned forward, pinning Vukovic with a glare, "Lieutenant, it has come to my attention that you have perhaps been a bit… over-zealous in your desire for more information about your case." Vukovic barely had time to consider replying before the General continued, "I will only say this once more. The charges are being brought against you by the United States Navy. I will not tolerate any implications otherwise, nor will I tolerate harassment of my senior officers. Is that clear?" His tone brooked no argument.

Swallowing hard, Vukovic nodded, "Yes, sir."

"Good." General Cresswell stared at him for a long moment, "That is why I am amending your list of charges to include several counts of disrespecting a superior officer. Your attorney and the prosecution will be notified. You are dismissed." Not even bothering to watch the lieutenant come to attention, Cresswell turned his focus back to the papers spread across his desk. Stiffly, Vukovic came to attention then turned and stalked out, shaking internally with anger and fear. This trial had just gone from horrible to absolutely terrifying in a matter of minutes.

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_harmfan - hope I answered your question!_

_mjag - yeah, I plan on having some of that. But unfortunately dogs aren't really allowed in the hospital. Soon though!_

_zeilfanaat - who else would have such horrible timing:-P_

_EY - they are, I just opted to move most of that discussion to the chapter after this one. It gets addressed, I promise! _

_snugglebug - heh, of course it is. And wow, thanks for the praise. :-D It means a lot to me, thanks a bunch! _


	24. Chapter 24

_Disclaimer: still not mine_

_Erm... sorry about that massively huge delay in chapters. I ended up getting sick and not doing much beyond sleeping and going to work ('cause I need the money). As a result, yeah, this took a LOT longer than it should have to write. Summer colds suck. On the upside, the end is somewhat in sight and the story will be done by the end of summer I promise. So anyways, thanks to minorcadence, zeilfanaat, macandharmlover, harmfan, eagleandrose, MartinaCruz, cool cat, jaggurl, Radiorox, AB, froggy, snugglebug, kittyX, starryeyes, smithknk, mommie, csi saragrissom, Bratling, and anyone else I missed for the reviews! Again, sorry about the huge delay, shouldn't happen again.  
_

_Chapter 24, now with massive revisions! Thanks to the people who pointed out my insistence on ignoring logic in this chapter.

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**Friday**

**JAG Headquarters**

**1330 ZULU**

Mac pushed open the door to General Cresswell's office tentatively, forcing herself to relax. Calmly she asked, looking inside to where the General sat at his desk, "General? Petty Officer Coates said you wanted to see me?"

Cresswell glanced up from the scatter of papers on his desk and nodded, smiling faintly, "Ah yes, Colonel. I did. I know I said on the phone I'd talk to you during a recess but I decided it might be better if we talked before the hearing instead of during. Close the door behind you and have a seat." He waited patiently while she did as he asked idly noting that as usual, it was strange seeing a military officer in uniform using crutches. When she looked up at him expectantly Cresswell half-smiled and rose, pacing the length of the room to stand in front of some picture. "I imagine you're wondering why I wanted to speak to you."

Mac nodded slightly, though he couldn't see her, "Yes, sir."

Cresswell grinned to himself briefly then schooled his expression as he turned around. Striding back to his desk he glanced down at a couple of papers and a small box before looking up at her, "Lieutenant Vukovic seemed rather shocked to hear of his new charges."

"Sir?" Mac looked at him in puzzlement.

He nodded slightly, resting one hand lightly on the edge of his desk, "Several counts of disrespecting a superior officer have been added to the list of charges."

Mac blinked in surprise before asking quietly, "How many, sir?"

"Six. Two from the hospital incident and four from Iraq." Mac considered this for a moment before nodding slightly, unable to keep the faint smile from her face. The General noticed but opted not to comment, he couldn't really blame her for her sentiments based on everything he'd heard. "You'll be testifying this morning, correct?"

"Yes, sir. I believe Commanders Turner and Roberts plan to call me first."

He nodded noncommittally. Abruptly he asked, "How is Commander Rabb doing?"

Mac cocked her head slightly, mildly startled at the sudden subject change. After a brief pause she replied, "He's doing better." She smiled slightly, "Already anxious to get out of the hospital."

Cresswell nodded and paced back to the pictures. Mac could hear the faint amusement in his voice, "I can understand that. How's his memory?"

"It's returning, a little more every day," she answered cautiously. Mac watched General Cresswell in puzzlement, she could tell there was more to this meeting than the superficial topics he kept bringing up but she stayed quiet, waiting for him to say what he wanted to say in his own time.

Cresswell nodded to himself thoughtfully, "And what do the doctors say?"

Mac sighed softly, glancing down at her folded hands, "They expect him to make a full recovery but they think some of his memories may always remain a blur, especially those relating to his captivity."

The General nodded again but still didn't turn. Finally he commented, "He'll have to go before a medical review board of course." Mac nodded but didn't say anything. Cresswell was silent again. Mac frowned slightly, watching him. Mentally she checked the time, relieved to note she still had almost 45 minutes to get to the court room. After a long silence Cresswell paced back to his desk, lightly resting his fingertips. Eventually he glanced up with a smile, "Well, I have some news that should cheer him up."

"Sir?" Now Mac was really confused, she'd come in here half expecting to be berated and suddenly the General was informing her that he had good news.

He picked up the two pieces of paper he'd been studying earlier. Glancing down at the top one briefly he met Mac's gaze again, "I trust you're aware that the Navy promotion board met recently?" Mac nodded slowly, deducing where he was going with this. Cresswell handed her both pages with a grin, "Captain Rabb should be pleased to hear about his recent promotion. I figured you would like to be the one to tell him."

She skimmed the page briefly before smiling up at Cresswell, "Yes, I would." He smiled in return and handed her the box. Automatically she opened it, glancing down at the quadruple striped shoulder boards nestled inside.

She smiled briefly, thinking of how thrilled Harm would be to hear of his promotion. Then another thought struck her and she looked sharply at the General in concern, "Sir, what about--" she stopped in mid-sentence pondering how best to broach the subject. Technically she had no right to say anything about Harm's promotion and probable reassignment but she couldn't help the horrible feeling that swept over her at the thought of him being sent elsewhere.

Cresswell seemed to read her thoughts as he watched her shrewdly. He didn't wait for her to continue the question, instead answering calmly, "Nothing about Captain Rabb's future status has been determined. As of right now everything is pending the results of his medical hearing. Of course, should anything change in his ah… personal status I would want to be informed immediately." He held her gaze for a long moment, ensuring that he was understood. Finally Mac nodded slightly, relieved. After another pause he commented casually, as though nothing had been said about the future, "We'll have a formal announcement when you return to JAG and a celebration after Captain Rabb is back on his feet. But I thought you would want to know as soon as possible." Mac nodded again in understanding.

General Cresswell glanced at his watch, "Well, you should be getting down to the court room."

Mac nodded, "Yes, sir." Coming to attention once more, Mac turned and left the office, resigning herself to sitting through the torture that she felt this hearing would become. Though she desperately wanted justice done, at the moment she would much rather be back in Harm's hospital room. Instead she was going to get to spend the next several hours in the same room as Vukovic. The Colonel had no desire whatsoever to see the irritating Lieutenant ever again.

* * *

**Same Day**

**Court Room**

**1500 ZULU**

Lieutenant Colonel MacKenzie sat quietly outside the court room, half-listening for the call to enter. She was still mulling over the events of the morning so far. After leaving the General's office she'd received some startled looks from people unaware that she was in the States much less in the office. Bud and Sturgis had stared for a brief moment, apparently having detected something different about her attitude. When she had explained briefly the result of her meeting with Cresswell, leaving out her concerns about Harm's possible reassignment, both men had broken out into broad smiles and offered heartfelt congratulations. They were the only two besides Jen that Mac had told about Harm's promotion. She didn't particularly want the promotion to become fodder for the office scuttlebutt just yet, though she knew it was probably too late to stop that.

Sighing to herself she moved on to pondering how to thank Jen for taking care of Hammer while she was out of country. Mac knew the younger woman wouldn't accept money. She'd just decided to take Jen out to dinner in thanks when a young naval petty officer stepped up to her, "Ma'am, they're ready for you." Mac rose and hobbled forward slowly, ignoring the startled look on Vukovic's face which rapidly faded into confusion and worry when she entered the courtroom. His lawyer had prevented him from trying to seek her out before the trail and apparently they hadn't realized she would be the first witness, facts which Mac was extremely grateful for.

Smiling gratefully at the bailiff when he took her crutches and offered a hand to help her behind the stand Mac settled into the waiting chair and folded her hands, looking calmly out at Sturgis. She noticed Bud shoot her a tiny smile but didn't return it, knowing he would understand. Sturgis cleared his throat and stood, stepping around his table to stand closer to her. Steadily he requested, "Please state your name, rank, and current billet."

"Lieutenant Colonel Sarah MacKenzie, JAG Headquarters, Falls Church, Virginia." She noticed Vukovic's eyes narrow slightly though he didn't say anything. Mac had a feeling that if this hadn't been a hearing which could result in the ending of his career, it would be a different story.

Dismissing Vukovic from her mind she focused on Commander Turner, waiting patiently for the questions she knew were to come. She wasn't keen on speaking about what had happened but she shoved down her personal feelings on the matter. "Colonel, according to this report you were sent to the USS Condon with the Lieutenant on a case, correct?"

"Yes."

"And after this case you were due to come home, correct?"

"Yes."

"But you didn't."

"No, we were instead sent to the USS Reprisal in the Persian Gulf and were met by Commander Rabb."

"Why?"

Sturgis had barely finished the short word when Commander Matthews finally protested, apparently having become increasingly irritated with the line of questioning, "Objection, your honor, relevance?"

Sturgis answered calmly, "I'm getting there, your honor. This is a hearing to hear the facts relating to the case."

The judge, Captain McCord, nodded slightly, pondering the objection. After a moment he stated, "Overruled. Continue, Commander, but I do want to hear something more relevant soon."

"Of course, your honor." Sturgis turned back to Mac, "Why were you sent to the Reprisal?"

"To investigate an incident with an F-14 pilot and a Harrier pilot."

"Can you elaborate on that?"

"The Harrier pilot and a group of marines stationed inland claimed the F-14 first dive-bombed their encampment then targeted first their tanks then the Harrier when it took off to try and talk to the F-14 pilot. The F-14 pilot claimed his IFF was feeding him data that both the people on the ground and the Harrier were enemies."

"So you were there to investigate this. Why was Commander Rabb called in?"

Mac smiled wryly, "Because Commander Rabb has forgotten more about F-14s than the rest of us will ever know. He was to serve as the other primary investigator and sit first chair should we end up needing to have a trial."

Sturgis nodded, glancing briefly at Bud who was making notes periodically. Shooting a glance at the judge he realized he was starting to run out of time to make this relevant. Looking back at Mac Sturgis smiled faintly then asked, "Colonel, can you tell us what happened to lead you to be in country?"

"Of course. We were there to talk to the marines that had been targeted."

Sturgis paused for a moment and took a breath, now they were getting into the part of the questioning he really didn't want to go to. He had a feeling Mac didn't particularly want to talk about any of it either. Steeling himself he asked, his voice still calm, "And that's when you were captured?"

Mac felt herself tense. She reminded herself that she had known from the start she would have to talk about what had happened but it didn't make her feel much better. Sighing a little she answered, "Yes." Out of the corner of her eye she could see Vukovic visibly tense, his mouth settling into a firm line.

Redirecting her attention to Sturgis she waited for the question she knew was coming. Almost immediately he asked, "What happened?"

The marine took a deep breath a let it out slowly, trying to forcibly relax her muscles. Succeeding only marginally, she began talking after a short pause, "As I said, we'd gone in country to talk to the marines who claimed to have been the targets. We caught up with them in a small village where they were doing some patrols and working with the locals. We'd been there about twenty five minutes when the shooting started." She paused again, checking her mental timeline. Though her sense of time had gotten screwed up she had a good guesstimate about when things had happened up until the first time she'd been unconscious.

She began speaking again, subconsciously lowering her voice as she got caught up in the memories. "Grabbing our own sidearms we ran to aid the marines, who'd been ambushed by a small group of insurgents. Fortunately for us there were more marines than terrorists and within a few minutes it was pretty much over. Commander Rabb and I had just begun to relax; relieved it was over, when--"

"Objection, witness cannot claim to know what Commander Rabb was feeling," interjected Commander Matthews.

Both Mac and Sturgis blinked at her in surprise, it hadn't occurred to either of them that she would object to such an innocuous comment. Mac paused for only a moment before addressing the objection evenly, "Commander Rabb and I have been partners for nearly nine years. I think I can safely say how he felt at the time."

Matthews looked surprised that Mac had answered and looked to the judge for support. Captain McCord arched an eyebrow and merely commented, "The Colonel has a point. Overruled."

Mac waited for a brief moment to be certain there would be no more objections before continuing her story, "We'd just begun to relax when I heard Lieutenant Vukovic shout something about getting them. I turned to see him chasing after a few fleeing men. I screamed at him to stop but he didn't. Commander Rabb heard me and turned. When he saw the Lieutenant running he yelled at me that we had to stop him so we followed. We saw the men and the Lieutenant disappear behind a building on the edge of the village. When we turned the corner ourselves we found not just the few men the Lieutenant had been chasing but at least half a dozen more, all heavily armed."

She stopped, frowning slightly to herself as she remembered the scene. Sturgis asked quietly, "And the Lieutenant?"

"He uh… was already unconscious and tied up."

"What did you do?"

"Lowered our weapons, there was no way we could hope to take them all out and we weren't going to abandon the lieutenant."

Sturgis nodded, smiling encouragingly though Mac didn't appear to notice. Softly he asked, "So it was the lieutenant's fault you were all taken prisoner?"

"Objection, leading the witness!" Matthews called out. Mac saw the tiny smile that flitted across Vukovic's face and she knew Matthews had a valid objection. She also knew that Sturgis knew it too.

Indeed he merely smiled and stated, "I'll rephrase." After a brief pause he asked instead, "In your opinion, did the lieutenant's actions contribute to your capture?"

Mac cocked her head slightly, gazing steadily at Sturgis, "Definitely."

"In what way, exactly?"

She sighed a little, before calmly stating, sounding vaguely like she was discussing the weather instead of events leading to her own capture and over two days of abuse, "By running off like that. We were supposed to stay with the marines at all times while in country. There was no reason to chase the already fleeing men. We--"

"Objection!"

This time even Captain McCord looked surprised. Looking at Commander Matthews in slight puzzlement he asked, "To what?"

"The Colonel cannot claim to know whether Lieutenant Vukovic had reasons for his actions or not."

There was silence for a moment before Sturgis stated, he voice showing his confusion, "But she didn't say anything about the Lieutenant, merely that there was no reason to chase the men."

"Perhaps the Lieutenant had a reason," countered Matthews.

Sighing, Sturgis turned back to Mac, "As far as you know, was there any reason to chase the insurgents?"

"No," she answered promptly.

"Why not?"

"We were there to interview the marines, not get involved in the fighting. The marines were not chasing the men therefore there was no apparent reason that we should do so. Our orders were to stay with the marines, by attempting to chase down the fleeing men that order was violated."

Sturgis nodded, "I see. Now, how else, in your opinion, did the Lieutenant's actions contribute to the future events?"

"Like I said, running off like that led all three of us away from the marines. It also, as it turned out, led us straight into a trap that could have been avoided had we stayed with the others."

Sturgis nodded again, "Very well. Moving on to the charges of disrespecting a superior officer, can you tell me what happened yesterday at Bethesda?"

Mac took a deep breath, tamping down on her immediate irritation at the thought of the previous days events. When she trusted herself to speak without anger, she replied, "I was in Commander Rabb's hospital room when Lieutenant Vukovic came in, apparently to see how we were feeling. He said he wanted to speak to me, I told him he could talk to me there. When he asked to speak to me in private I declined, not wanting to leave Commander Rabb alone. When he asked again, more insistently Commander Rabb intervened, repeating what I had previously said.

I told him, again, that he could either talk to me there or not at all. Then he asked about my report on Iraq which I told him was not his business. At this point he became irritated, insisting that it was his business and insinuating that I had manipulated the facts to bring him up on charges. Commander Rabb then asked that he leave. When he refused I dismissed him, since a request didn't seem to work. When he still refused to leave I ordered him out of the room."

"Thank you, Colonel." Commander Turner turned back the judge, "No further questions at this time, your honor."

"Very well. Commander Matthews?"

Matthews briefly conferred with her client before standing and stepping in front of the table. She fixed Mac with a steady gaze which Mac returned expressionlessly, far from intimidated by the younger woman. After a moment Matthews looked away and Mac allowed herself a tiny smile of triumph, it was petty, she knew but she couldn't help it. Finally Matthews began, "Colonel MacKenzie, you said Commander Rabb was brought in to be another primary investigator and first chair in the trial should it proceed, correct?"

"Yes."

"What was Lieutenant Vukovic's role to be, then?"

"He was to continue to assist in the investigation and trial."

"So you arbitrarily demoted him?"

Mac blinked and shot a stern glance at Sturgis who had opened his mouth to object. The Commander subsided, eyes narrowing slightly as he watched her, waiting for Mac's answer. Calmly she answered the question, "No, the General is the one who gave the orders. Lieutenant Vukovic was the junior lawyer in the case and as such was assigned the duty of assisting with the trial. I believe you have a copy of those orders in your files."

Matthews frowned slightly and tried a different tack, sensing she wasn't going to get anywhere that way. "So you all went in country to interview these marines for your investigation and were ambushed by insurgents? Any idea why they ambushed you?"

Mac shrugged slightly, "The same reason they ambush any group of United States troops, I would guess."

"I see, so you have no reason to suspect this was different?"

Matthews voice had become progressively more aggressive and this time Sturgis did object, "Objection, your honor, the witness is not the one this hearing is about."

"Sustained." McCord pinned Matthews with a look, "Watch it, Commander."

"Yes, your honor." She paused for a moment to collect her thoughts before asking, "You said you followed the lieutenant around a corner. You could not see or hear any indication of what was happening on the other side?"

"No."

"Then why did you follow him? Surely you knew it could be another ambush."

Mac nodded slightly in acknowledgement of the point, "True, but nor did we have an indication that there was a problem. We couldn't leave the lieutenant alone and we didn't know what consequences any hesitation would have, so we followed."

"And why, when you did discover the truth, did you not try to escape or get help in some manner?"

"Had we tried to run they would've mowed us down before we'd gotten two steps and the Lieutenant would likely still be a prisoner if not also dead. Had we called for help, yes the marines may have heard us but we would all be dead before they could aid us and the insurgents probably gone. We were outnumbered at least three to one, we didn't have a whole lot of choice. The Commander and I were not about to abandon the Lieutenant to some unknown fate, with three of us the chances of a future escape increased."

"I see. You say you called out to the Lieutenant when you noticed him running?"

"Yes, I called for him to stop."

"But he didn't. Is it possible he had a reason to continue or that he didn't hear you?"

"It's possible, which is why we followed."

"So you also violated direct orders."

Mac's eyes narrowed slightly, "Yes, in order to aid a fellow officer."

The other woman tried for a moment to return Mac's glare but eventually glanced down at her notes and switched topics, "Moving on to the hospital incident. You claim that you asked the Lieutenant to leave multiple times?"

"Yes, at least three times."

"You said that Commander Rabb was the first to ask him to leave. That would mean you yourself only asked him twice."

Mac arched an eyebrow, "Actually, I myself requested and then ordered him to leave three times. Commander Rabb's request would make four."

"I see, and Commander Rabb was the first one to supposedly ask him to leave the room?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"It's his room and he no longer wanted the Lieutenant present."

"I see, however, you stepped in after that."

"Yes."

"Why would you do such a thing if it is, as you say, his room?"

"Because the lieutenant had asked to speak to me, thereby defining the conversation to the two of us. As such while Commander Rabb was requesting he leave the room because he wanted him out of his hospital room, I was requesting him to leave as an end to the conversation in addition to aiding the Commander."

"And who can verify that he refused?"

"Commander Rabb."

"Right, and where is Commander Rabb today?"

Mac's voice went cold, "Still in the hospital where he will remain until at least Monday."

"Why is he in the hospital?"

"Because he is unable to walk. Would you like a full catalogue of his injuries?"

"Yes, I wou--"

"Objection, your honor! How is this relevant?" Sturgis shot to his feet, closely followed by Bud.

Captain McCord glanced from the pair of men to Commander Matthews, "Commander?"

"I…" she trailed off.

McCord nodded sharply, "I see. You will cease this line of questioning unless you can come up with relevance."

Abruptly Mac spoke, "Your honor, I would like to answer her inquiry as to the Commander's injuries, if I may?"

The Captain looked at her in surprise then nodded after a moment, "As you wish, Colonel."

Colonel MacKenzie fixed Commander Matthews with a hard stare, speaking lowly and firmly as she recited Harm's injuries. This time she wasn't merely reciting facts as if they had happened to a third party, it was clear to everyone in the room that she took the injury done to her partner rather personally. "His right arm is broken in two places along with the elbow. His right shoulder was dislocated. The left shoulder was wrenched and the left wrist is fractured. His right knee is broken as is his lower right leg. His left ankle is broken in two places. He has fourteen broken ribs, six cracked ribs, and the remaining six are bruised. He also had various bruised internal organs not to mention the scrapes, cuts, and bruises from beatings and bindings. To top it all off, he has almost complete amnesia as the result of the torture and combined minor concussions."

Sturgis and Bud both sank slowly back into their chairs in shock. This was the first time they'd heard the list of exactly what was wrong with their friend and it clearly stunned them. For her part Commander Matthews merely stared at Mac as the list of injuries grew. When the Colonel finished speaking there was a long pause. The entire room seemed to be holding its breath before Matthews finally spoke, her voice faint, "No more questions, your honor."

Captain McCord watched Mac silently for a long moment, his expression unreadable. Finally he looked over at Sturgis, "Commander Turner?"

"Nothing further, your honor."

McCord nodded, redirecting his gaze to Mac, "You may step down, Colonel."

Mac nodded and took a slow breath, trying to relax the muscles that had gradually tensed more as the interview went on. She didn't like recalling everything that was wrong with her partner; it twisted her stomach into knots to remember what those men had done to him. Slowly she stood, stepping down and taking her crutches back from the bailiff. Carefully she made her way out of the room, intent on reaching a place where she could call Harm. After reliving the skeleton of events in Iraq she wanted to talk to her best friend and partner if only to reassure herself that he was still alright.

* * *

**Same Day**

**Bethesda Naval Hospital**

**Same Time**

Harm leaned back in the chair as best he was able and stared blankly out the window. The doctor had finally conceded after a long argument that he could sit up and be in a chair instead of flat on his back all the time. Harm had felt rather proud about the tiny victory even if he was only sitting in a stationary chair and still had no real way of moving about on his own. He was at least out of the bed and that was enough for the moment.

After getting him into the chair the nurses had left him alone. He'd made sure the phone was close enough for him to grab, since Mac had promised to call him after the hearing. Once he'd checked that, though, he'd let his thoughts drift, ignoring the various twinges of pain throughout his body every time he shifted his weight. He was trying to remember anything but all the pieces seemed to elude him. When he thought he'd finally managed to form a connection some little extra fact would float to the surface momentarily and prove him wrong. But the second he tried to grasp the new piece it would float away.

He sighed heavily. The holes in his memory grated on him. It was driving him crazy not to remember huge chunks of his life. He felt guilty every time he couldn't remember a detail he knew he should. Mac had gone on at length the night before about how the hearing would work and as she'd talked it all had seemed familiar yet he couldn't seem to expand on any of it. Every piece of information she imparted to him would click into his memory like it belonged there, but he couldn't seem to dredge up the pieces on his own. Harm knew that it would take time and was sick unto death of the doctor insisting his memory would return, that familiar things would jog it, etc. Unfortunately that wasn't helping him at the moment and he desperately wanted to be of some help to Mac and the people she told him were his friends.

Harm knew that he had knowledge and experiences that would help their case but frustratingly they wouldn't stay put long enough for him to pin them down. Every time he tried to remember Iraq the flashes of pain and darkness threatened to overwhelm him. So he shied away from those memories, afraid that without his partner with him he wouldn't be able to conquer them. Instead he tried to remember his legal training, his military training, anything else that could help. He knew instinctively that the Navy was an integral part of who he was but for the life of him he couldn't remember more than snatches of fact.

Finally he gave up, allowing his mind to drift. A small portion of his mind still mulled over the information Mac had given him the previous night about the hearing. He turned the arguments over and over in his mind, examining them from every angle he could think of. So far he hadn't found a flaw, but he would be the first to admit that in his present state he wasn't sure he could find a flaw even if it was the size of the Grand Canyon. But it kept his mind busy and prevented him from dwelling on darker subjects. Slowly memories trickled back to him, gradually expanding on the brief description he'd been given the night before. Snippets of court cases wandered through his mind but this time he didn't try to grab any of the memories. Instead he let them drift, waiting for them to settle. It wasn't very fast but it seemed to be more effective than trying to force himself to remember.

Glancing at the clock he realized Mac would probably be on the stand at that very moment. With a faint smile he pictured her, other instances of her on the witness stand flashing through his mind. He had a distinct feeling that whoever was defending Vukovic wouldn't know what hit them. At the thought of the annoying Lieutenant, Harm's expression darkened. The incident the day before had rubbed him wrong and ever since then his mind had been dredging up other memories of the brash young Lieutenant. Harm couldn't help the feeling of anger that swept through him every time he thought of the young man. He knew it was slightly irrational yet he didn't much care. From what he could remember he was still unwilling to forgive Vukovic for the events of Iraq.

Harm didn't care about what had happened to himself, though he had to admit the injuries were annoying. But the thought that the idiot had been responsible for getting Mac captured as well was unforgivable in Harm's mind. A small part of his mind told him it was quite possible that his opinion would change when all his memories came back but the larger part of him was certain that it wouldn't. Sighing softly he shoved the thoughts away and focused on the scene through the window, allowing his mind to drift once more as he waited for Mac to call.

* * *

_Forgive me if the hearing stuff is bad. I'm not a lawyer, I'm a computer geek. But I did my best. _

_And random neat fact for the chapter: The USS Reprisal is an actual Aircraft Carrier that was never completed. However, it did make an appearance on JAG in 97 as a completed carrier. It was played by the USS Forrestal. So I thought it'd be amusing to include the Reprisal in my story._


	25. Chapter 25

_Disclaimer: yeah, not mine_

_So um... I said it shouldn't happen again and I apparently lied. Sorry about that. :hangs head: On the other hand, definitely won't happen again because well, I fully intend on finishing this story before I leave for OTS and since that's rather soon, I kind of have to update quicker now don't I? Thanks to Bratling, froggy, Vid Z, zeilfanaat, harmfan, cbw, jaggurl, starryeyes, minorcadence, Harmfan, MichelleLee, Mxfan, snugglebug, LiseGirardi, moonlight, Brittany, G, eagleandrose, EY, KUFan, and anyone else I missed (or couldn't thank because ff. net doesn't like the formatting)! And an especially huge thanks to those of you who pointed out my rather obvious insistence on not using Earth logic in my last chapter. After thinking about it I decided to go ahead and revise the last chapter accordingly since well... yeah, you guys brought up points I had either not thought about or apparently ignored. I really do appreciate the constructive criticism (especially since none of you insulted me in the process, yay:-D ). Also thanks to sithwitch for yet again listening to my agonizing over this story. So anywho, enough of my ramblings, more story! Enjoy!

* * *

_

**Same Day**

**Bethesda Naval Hospital**

**0000 ZULU**

Harm glanced impatiently at the clock. Mac had said she would head over from the office which meant she should have been here over an hour ago. He'd accepted, albeit grudgingly, that she was going to have to remain at headquarters all day in case she was needed but he couldn't fathom why she hadn't appeared yet. Ever since her phone call before lunch he'd been anxious to speak to her. The conversation had caused a startling influx of memories, none of which were terribly pleasant and he knew they had to talk about them.

_Harm glanced at the time, startled to realize they'd been on the phone for over an hour discussing the case and various other topics. It'd been extremely pleasant and he regretted that he would be unable to talk to her again until the evening. Sighing softly he heard Mac say, "Harm? I gotta go."_

_He nodded to himself, "Yeah, ok. I'll talk to you later."_

_He could hear the smile in her voice when she replied, "Of course."_

_Suddenly he spoke up, "Mac?"_

_She sounded surprised at the urgency in his voice, "Yes?"_

"_Thanks for coming after me."_

_There was a long pause. Harm was beginning to get worried when she answered, sounding both happy and vaguely sorrowful, but somehow he could tell she was still smiling, "You did the same for me." He didn't get a chance to ask what she meant when she spoke again, "I really need to go, Harm. Sturgis is waiting for me. I'll see you tonight."_

"_Right. Bye, Mac."_

"_Bye, Harm."_

He sighed at the memory. He understood why she'd had to get off the phone and couldn't be even mildly annoyed at the fact. But it was her other comment that had gotten him thinking, _"You did the same for me."_ For the rest of the day a part of his mind had been mulling over the phrase. Slowly memories had trickled back and as they'd done so his mood had gotten bleaker and bleaker. Intellectually he knew he no longer had anything to worry about, but part of him worried that everything they had currently was merely out of guilt on her part. Harm didn't think he could bear it if that was the case.

The sound of the door opening startled him out of his thoughts. His head jerked up to spy Mac stepping into the room, grinning at him. He immediately grinned back but it faded almost immediately as his depressing thoughts made themselves known again. She frowned slightly at the look on his face, closing the door quietly behind her. "Harm? You ok?"

He forced a smile, "Yeah, I'm fine. What kept you?" He couldn't keep the slight note of concern and panic out of his voice.

Still watching him in concern she made her way over to the bed, dropping a kiss on his lips before settling into her usual spot beside the bed, "I stopped at home to change and take the dog back to Jen's."

"Back to Jen's?"

"She watched him while I went back to Iraq and agreed to watch him again for the weekend." Mac smiled faintly, "I definitely owe her one… or five."

Harm chuckled briefly before asking, "Why is she watching him for the weekend?"

Mac cocked her head at him, "Because dogs aren't allowed in the hospital, Harm. And I couldn't very well leave him all by himself until Monday."

"So you… so you plan on staying this weekend then?"

She frowned again, studying his face, "Of course, why wouldn't I?"

"I… no reason." Harm looked away, becoming very interested in the curtains drawn across his window. For a moment he wished he was still in the chair but concluded that either way he couldn't escape.

After a moment she spoke again and Harm could hear the concern in her voice, "Harm, what's wrong?"

He sighed but didn't respond. After a long pause he turned his head back towards her, "We need to talk." Slowly she nodded and waited for him to go on. He thought he detected a hint of fear in her eyes but it was gone so quickly he couldn't be sure. Taking a deep breath he stated, "In Paraguay you said something to me." He heard the sharp intake of breath when he mentioned the fiasco but plowed forward, "You said it would never work between us." He glanced down briefly then back at her, fixing her with an intent gaze, "Did you mean it?"

Mac sighed softly, glancing down at her hands. She didn't answer immediately, instead shifting to a more comfortable position. Eventually she glanced at the door and Harm had the distinct impression she was willing it to stay closed. Finally she looked back at him, gazing at him calmly as she replied, "Yes." Harm's eyes closed, feeling his heart sinking until she continued, "At the time."

His eyes flew open again, "At the time?"

"Yes, at the time." She sighed, "Harm, I said a lot of things in Paraguay that I didn't mean."

He asked softly, his voice intense, "Why?"

"I was angry." She smiled wryly, shrugging.

"Yeah, I kinda got that at the time." He smiled faintly, "But why? You never did tell me why."

Sighing again, Mac ran a hand through her hair, "I don't really know. Correction, I do know but it doesn't really make much sense. I was mad at you, mostly. Mad at you for coming after me."

He blinked in confusion, "Huh?"

"Told you it didn't make much sense. I was angry at you for not stopping me from going, for coming after me and nearly getting yourself killed, for not telling me the truth of why you were there, for giving up your career… it was all a big mess. And I was angry at myself for getting dragged into the mess, for not listening to you when you asked me not to go. And mad at Clay for his op going so blasted wrong. It just… I don't know."

He watched her quietly, waiting for her to finish. When she had he spoke quietly, "I guess we were both mad."

"Yeah, I guess so. Why were you mad?"

A self-deprecating smile flickered across his face, "Mad at myself for most of the same reasons as you, mad at you for not appreciating me, mad at Clay for nearly getting you killed, mad at the Admiral for not supporting my decision to find you. You're right; it was all a big mess." There was a long silence as they both contemplated the situation. Then Harm spoke again, hesitant, "But why Clay?"

Mac frowned slightly in thought then answered simply, "He told me what he wanted, you never would."

"And giving up my career to come after you wasn't enough to let you know how I felt?" Harm couldn't prevent the anger in his voice and he wasn't sure he really wanted to.

He saw the slight flinch at his tone and felt immediately repentant. But she answered anyways, gazing at him sadly, "I never said what happened in Paraguay was the right thing, Harm. I just wanted to be told, not have to try and decipher it. Is that so bad?"

He sighed and shook his head, the anger draining out of him, "No, it's not." He paused then added, "Mac, I'm sorry."

Startled, she asked, "For what?"

"Everything. All the stupid times over the past years that I never said or did what I should have. Forgive me?"

"Only if you'll forgive me."

It was his turn to be startled, "For what?"

Mac laughed softly, "Same reason. Maybe we should just agree to forgive each other for the past what? 9 years?"

Harm blinked then laughed too, seeing the humor in the situation, "Sounds good to me." There was another pause before he added, "There's still a lot to talk about. Provided I ever remember what it is we need to talk about." The last was said with more than a hint of frustration and Mac smiled faintly, nodding in agreement. Shaking those thoughts away he gazed thoughtfully at the ceiling, "So, how'd the hearing go?"

Mac heaved a disgusted sigh and he heard her settling back in the chair. Rolling his head to the side he arched an eyebrow curiously. She was glaring at the floor as she answered, "It went well."

Dryly, Harm asked, "If it went so well why are you trying to kill the floor with a look?"

She glanced up at him, blinking in confusion. After a moment a smile tugged at her lips, "Sorry."

"Vukovic?"

"Ugh, who else?"

"What happened?"

"He tried to corner me during the recess for lunch. Fortunately Sturgis showed up pretty quickly. Of course, being on the phone helped." She flashed him a smile before continuing, "Then he tried again after the hearing was put in recess for the day."

Harm tried to keep his irritation off his face. He took a breath before asking calmly, "And?"

Mac's voice took on a definite edge, "Well I did come close to hitting him with my crutches but I figured that might be a bad idea. Instead I reminded him that trying to talk to the witnesses could quite possibly be construed as obstruction of justice." She smirked, "He didn't seem too keen on the addition of more charges and left."

Harm chuckled, "No, I'm sure he didn't. You think it will be recommended to court martial?"

She nodded, "Yes. Unfortunately we won't know for sure until the weekend is over. The hearing reconvenes at 1000 hours Monday morning."

"Ah. Well I'm sure Sturgis and… Bud? can handle it."

"Yeah… I'm sure they can."

"But?"

She smiled slightly, "You know me too well, sailor." He smiled in response. "I just wish it was going faster, that's all."

"It will go fast enough."

"When did you become so philosophical?" she retorted, smiling to show she didn't really mean it.

Harm laughed and offered a one shoulder shrug, "One of the side effects of not remembering anything I guess. Soon I'll start expounding on the meaning of life and the deep reasoning behind why hummingbirds hover."

Mac laughed and shook her head in amusement, "Heaven help us."

Grinning, he asked, "And how'd the meeting with the General go?" At the sudden mischievous glint in her eyes Harm studied her warily, "What?"

"Nothing." The smile tugging at her lips told him otherwise, however. "It went fine. He just wanted to give me a heads up about the charges against Vukovic."

"Oh?"

She nodded absently, "Yeah seems six more were added after our little… conversation yesterday."

Harm stared at her in surprise, "Six? One or two makes sense but how did he get six?"

"Two. Apparently the other four were a result of Iraq."

"Oh." He pondered this for a moment, tamping down on the smug feeling that swept through him at the news. Glancing back at Mac he arched an eyebrow, "What's the rest?"

"Rest?"

"There's more you have to say, I can tell."

She gazed at him for a moment as if debating whether to continue speaking. Harm was on the verge of glaring at her and attempting to force it out of her when she half-smiled, "You know how I mentioned a surprise earlier?" He nodded slightly. "Surprise, Captain Rabb."

He stared at her in shock for a long moment before asking quietly, "What?" Mac wordlessly handed him the papers detailing the promotion. Harm read through them silently, finally asking softly, "How?"

"The board met before Iraq, Harm."

"Oh." He skimmed the words in front of him again, processing this bit of news on top of everything else that had happened recently. Slowly a broad grin broke out on his face as he looked back up at Mac.

She forced a smile in return, "Congratulations."

"Thanks." His expression clouded as he gazed at her, "This changes everything."

She didn't bother to ask what he meant. The smile faded as she commented tentatively, "It doesn't have to."

He cocked his head curiously, "I don't see how it can't. Mac--"

"Harm," she cut him off. "You still have to face a medical review board before anything is decided."

Her partner watched her for a moment before asking, "And what do you want the decision to be?"

This time the smile was more genuine, "Well, if it involves sending us to opposite ends of the Earth I might have to protest." Harm smiled slightly and nodded in agreement. "However, like I said, nothing is going to be decided until that review board and the General ah… hinted that he would take any situational changes into account."

"Good." Looking back at the papers in his hand the new Captain felt a silly grin spreading across his face again, "You know… after all that's happened, I never really thought this day would come."

"You deserve it."

* * *

**Monday**

**Court Room**

**1500 ZULU**

Colonel MacKenzie sat in the back of the court room, waiting for the judge to make his final decision. Mentally she reviewed the list of things she needed to do after the hearing was over. Harm and her had spent a fairly decent weekend at the hospital, punctuated only occasionally by the navy pilot's insistence that he be allowed to go home sooner than Monday. Visits from their friends and even the General had broken up the monotony nicely though Mac still had no desire to see a hospital room ever again if it was possible.

Fortunately the doctor had agreed that Harm could be released into someone's care Monday afternoon. Mac had already volunteered for the job and no one dared contradict her though the doctor didn't seem too thrilled with the idea of releasing one invalid into the care of another. However, he had eventually relented after she had agreed to nearly a dozen different restrictions on both hers and Harm's activities. Mac smiled slightly at the memory, Harm had merely watched in amusement as the doctor ran through what appeared to be a hundred page long checklist. At least, it had appeared that long to the annoyed colonel though she had to concede it was probably closer to twenty.

Shaken out of her reverie by the arrival of Captain McCord, Mac automatically rose and then retook her seat. Pushing her thoughts away for now she focused her complete attention on the proceedings, trying to ignore the tension in her shoulders. She refused to admit just how much this hearing was affecting her. Mac suspected that Harm knew but he hadn't mentioned it and neither had she. Ignoring things seemed to be a trademark of their relationship though she hoped this particular "thing" wasn't going to result in a huge fight that left them worse off than before. Smiling slightly to herself Mac waited impatiently for the Captain to ask the lawyers if they had anything further to add to their cases. Receiving a denial from both the defense and prosecution Captain McCord leaned back in his chair, silently contemplating the officers in front of him.

Out of the corner of her eye Mac noticed Vukovic shifting in his seat as the silence dragged on. She was mildly surprised when the judge's eyes flickered to her for a moment and met his gaze cautiously. Abruptly he seemed to make up his mind and leaned forward again, pinning Vukovic and his lawyer with a steady gaze that hinted at nothing. His voice was perfectly even as he stated, "In light of the testimonies and evidence presented in this hearing it is my decision that this case continue on to court martial for all charges."

Mac let out a soft sigh of relief, shooting a small smile at Bud when he turned towards her. He returned the smile then turned back around as everyone rose to their feet once more while McCord left. Noting the look of anger on Vukovic's face the Colonel decided she'd much rather be elsewhere. Glancing back at Sturgis and Bud once more, Mac slipped out of the court room, glad she'd sat in the back. Hoping that Commander Matthews kept Vukovic occupied for a few minutes, she made her way to her office. Closing the door behind her she mentally cursed the cast on her leg that prevented her from being able to drive. She knew it'd be a few minutes before Sturgis would be able to take her to the hospital to pick up Harm.

She'd been pleasantly surprised when the Commander had volunteered to do the driving for the day. Mac had a feeling he was trying to rectify at least a small portion of the friendship Harm and her had once had with the other man. However, given the current state of affairs she wasn't really in any position to look a gift horse in the mouth. So she'd accepted though Harm had seemed a bit uncomfortable with the idea. He'd given in after a short argument though, finally conceding that they did need someone else to drive.

Absently she glanced around the office, vaguely surprised at how alien it appeared. It'd been only a few weeks since she'd last been inside yet somehow it felt like longer. _Yeah well, being a prisoner will do that to you_, she thought cynically. Settling into her chair she scooped up the phone, automatically punching in the number for Harm's hospital room. Somewhat surprised to be met with a busy signal she dropped the phone back into the cradle and studied it intently for a moment, trying to puzzle out who he could be talking to. After a moment she let out an irritated sigh and shifted her gaze to the door, willing it to open.

Almost as soon as she looked at it there was a knock. Shocked that her wish had apparently worked, Mac stared at the door in stunned silence for a moment. A second knock brought her back to her senses and she called out, "Enter." Her hopes that it was Sturgis were dashed as the door opened to reveal Vukovic standing in the doorway. Surprise swiftly gave way to anger. Glaring at him she bit out, "Lieutenant, I thought we covered the additional charges you're trying to bring upon yourself yesterday."

"Ma'am, I wanted to discuss some things--"

"If you want a plea bargain, to discuss the charges, or for that matter to discuss the case in any way, talk to your lawyer. I won't remind you again that attempting to talk to me could be construed as obstruction of justice."

"I don't want a plea bargain! I want you to drop the charges!" he burst out, glaring back at her.

Colonel MacKenzie was silent for a long moment before she stated quietly, "As previously stated, these charges are not being brought by me. Now get the hell out of my office." When he didn't move Mac slowly stood, forgoing the crutches. Fixing him with the well-practiced glare of a superior officer to a subordinate she repeated slowly, "Get out of my office, Lieutenant. That is an order." After another defiant moment the lieutenant turned on his heel and stalked away. Releasing the breath she hadn't realized she was holding, Mac dropped back into her chair. Every meeting with him just seemed to get worse and worse. She couldn't wait for this whole mess to be over with.

Looking up again she found Sturgis hovering in the still open door. When he saw that she had noticed him he smiled, asking, "Ready to go, Colonel?"

"Definitely," Mac smiled tiredly back at him. Pulling herself to her feet again she exited the office ahead of him, ready to get out of the building and get Harm home.


	26. Chapter 26

_Disclaimer: Still not mine, wish they were, it'd be very cool_

_And so, next chapter. Only a couple more left. So yay, almost done. :) Thanks to harmfan, froggy, snugglebug, marineJAG, zeilfanaat, jaggurl, Radiorox, starryeyes, Mxfan, strawberrywine, HopeGrace, Nix, and anyone else I missed for the reviews! I really appreciate them! So here's the next chapter. Read, review, enjoy, all that jazz.

* * *

_**Mac's Apartment**

**1745 ZULU**

"Explain to me again why I can't stay at my own apartment?" Harm asked irritably as Sturgis pushed him through the door. He thoroughly disliked being unable to do anything for himself, even move his own wheelchair, and his annoyance was bleeding over to every other topic.

Mac sighed and rolled her eyes as she followed the two men inside. She'd already answered the question at least three times and was getting quite tired of it. Unable to keep the annoyance out of her voice she replied, "For the last time, Harm, you can't stay alone and your apartment has stairs which you can't navigate and I can't carry you up. Therefore, we stay here." Mac noted Sturgis trying to subtly move away from the pair, apparently worried about what appeared to be an imminent argument.

"But--"

"No buts, Harm. You can't stay at your apartment, doctor's orders. Now please, give it a rest," she said tiredly, not in the mood for an argument.

He glanced at her sharply, hearing the weariness in her voice. Frowning slightly, he made a note to talk to her about it later. Out loud he simply said, "Sorry, Mac. It's just this… enforced immobility is wearing on me."

Mac nodded, smiling slightly back at him, "That I understand." She noticed with amusement that Sturgis was already halfway back to the door. For a brief second their eyes met and they were back to being the friends they had once been, before everything went to hell in a hand basket. He grinned ruefully, silently sharing his sympathy before the moment was lost and awkwardness settled in.

Sturgis cleared his throat, "I should be going. Need to go over the case with Bud."

"Of course. Thanks for the help," Mac smiled gratefully.

Sturgis returned the slight smile and commented, "Either Bud or I will be contacting you about the trial. Get well, guys." With that he was out the door before Harm or Mac could respond.

The pair watched the closed door for a moment before exchanging rueful grins. Harm commented sardonically, "You'd think he didn't like us."

With a chuckle, Mac teased, "Nah, he just doesn't like you." Harm gave her a mock wounded look and pretended to clutch his heart with his left hand.

They grinned at each other for a few more moments before Harm finally asked, glancing around curiously, "So, where's this dog that has my name?"

"With Jen. She's going to bring him over after she leaves the office." She hobbled around for a minute or so, absently fiddling with things. After a short silence she asked, her back to Harm, "You don't mind that I named the dog after you?"

Harm looked at her back in shock, after a second he said quietly, "Mac, look at me." He waited until she'd turned to face him once more before asking, "Why would I mind?" Mac shrugged slightly. Letting out a soft sigh Harm asked again, "Come on, Mac, you know me. Why would I mind?"

After another brief pause she shrugged again, "I don't know. It's just… most guys I've um… known," she stumbled over the word, suddenly realizing she didn't actually know how to describe Harm and hers new relationship, "probably would have found it at the least weird, at the worst an insult."

He watched her for a moment, mentally struggling to pull forward memories of other men besides Clay. Finally he answered slowly, "Yeah, I guess I see what you mean." He gave her a small smile, trying to convey as much reassurance as he could, "Sarah… I'm not them."

This time she smiled back, stepping over to brush one hand across his shoulder, "I know. It's just hard to believe."

He smiled up at her, automatically tilting his head slightly to press his cheek against her hand. They stood like that for a moment before Harm broke the moment with a grin, "So… what's for lunch?"

* * *

**2300 ZULU**

**Mac's Apartment**

Mac leaned back on the couch, staring off into space. The day had seemed to pass in weird bursts of speed ever since Sturgis had left. In the hospital Harm and she had been comfortable, able to handle that scenario. But now, everything was different. Now they were actually at her apartment where they'd both have to live at least until Harm could walk again. Now they were completely alone and she realized that she had no clue how to handle it. The thought had never crossed her mind in her initial desperation to get her partner back and then the chaos surrounding the task of ensuring he'd live.

It had never occurred to her to think through what would happen when they got home because truth be told, she hadn't been certain they would get him home. Once they had rescued him and the doctors had told her he would make it she just hadn't given the future much thought. Suddenly the future was here, staring her straight in the face, and she didn't know what to do. Sure, they'd talked a bit, doing their best to pretend they were perfectly fine and comfortable but Mac couldn't deny the relief she'd felt when he'd said he was tired. So now he was stretched out on the bed, sleeping, while she struggled to figure out what the hell she was going to do.

The Colonel sighed, absently rubbing the bridge of her nose. She was thrilled that Harm was going to be ok, even more ecstatic that they seemed to be working towards something more than mere friendship. Yet, there were things she refused to face. Getting him home and out of the hospital seemed surreal. It was a confirmation that he was truly alive and it brought forward the feelings she'd been struggling with ever since her initial escape from captivity. Checking the time she shook off the depressing thoughts and rose, moving slowly towards the bedroom to check on Harm.

Mac stood in the doorway silently for several minutes, just watching him sleep. She took the opportunity to study him like she had when he was first rescued. Slowly she took in each of the casts and bandages, wincing mentally. Most of the visible cuts and bruises were pretty much healed for which she was grateful, seeing him so visibly battered was hard enough without wounds in plain sight to drive the point home. But even the sight of him healing couldn't shake the image of how he'd been when they found him, dirty, broken, and barely alive. Shaking her head, Mac tried to banish the image, tried to force her mind to replace it with one of him as he'd been on the carrier, alive, gorgeous, and full of the energy that had made her fall for him in the first place.

She couldn't do it though. No matter how hard she tried, the image of Harm's limp body dangling from the shoulders of the marines kept swimming to the surface, taunting her with the horror that almost became reality. Choking back a sob she focused once more on Harm's face only to find him watching her silently. She forced herself to smile and speak in a normal tone, "Hey sailor, I thought you were going to sleep all day."

He ignored her greeting and frowned slightly. Quietly he asked, wishing fiercely that he could stand up and go to her, "Mac, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, just came to see if you were awake," she answered, speaking too quickly. As soon as the words left her mouth she mentally cursed at herself. She knew Harm would be able to tell that something wasn't right.

Sure enough he gave her a look that clearly said he knew she was lying. Instead of repeating the question like she thought he would he said softly, holding out his left hand, "Come here." She hesitated for a moment, silently warring with herself as to how much of her emotions she was willing to let him see. After a moment the logical voice in her head, the one that told her if they were to have any chance of making things work she had to talk to him, won out. Mac made her way to the bed, automatically lacing her fingers with his. Gently he tugged on her hand until she finally acquiesced and sat next to him on the bed. Harm studied her face for a moment before asking, "Mac, please talk to me."

She stared at their hands for a long moment, idly tracing his fingers with her own. Finally she said, not meeting his eyes, "It's nothing, just something stupid."

"I doubt that."

"No, really, it's nothing you need to worry about." She still refused to meet his eyes. Suddenly she stood back up, "I should go wait for Jen; she should be here soon."

"Mac." His voice stopped her before she could step away from the bed. Tightening his hand on hers as best he could he stated, this time more firmly, "Talk to me."

"Harm…"

"Are you going to make me give you a direct order?"

Her gaze flew to his in shock, "You wouldn't."

He looked at her for a moment then sighed, "No, I wouldn't. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't talk to me." She stared at him briefly then sighed in defeat, sitting back down beside him. He watched her carefully, softening his voice now that she didn't appear to be on the verge of flight, "Please, Mac, you looked so sad. Tell me why?"

She took a deep breath and dragged her gaze back up to meet his. Slowly she began talking, "I was looking at you and I just… I can't get the pictures of what they did to you out of my head. It doesn't matter that you're here, that the doctors have said you should make a full recovery." He tried to interject something reassuring but was cut off instantly. "Every time I stop moving, stop thinking my mind starts going over everything."

"Mac… everything's going to be--"

"Damnit Harm, I almost lost you!" He blinked once in surprise, startled at her sudden anger. He stared at her, gaze locked with hers and was shaken when he realized just how much fear she'd been hiding away since she had come after him. He barely had time to process the fact before she continued, voice still edged with anger and gradually the fear crept in also. "I almost lost you," she repeated. "And if we'd been even thirty minutes later you'd be dead! I kept telling myself you were alive but I couldn't tell whether it was because I knew you were or if I just was deluding myself. God…"

Letting out a shuddering breath Mac abruptly tore her gaze away from his, trying to look anywhere but at him. She didn't even realize she was crying until he lightly brushed away a tear with the fingertips of his right hand. She looked back at him, startled, freezing in place. He just watched her, gently brushing away the tears despite the awkwardness of moving his right hand. Softly she murmured, "And the worst part was… there was no one I could tell. After all, who do you talk to when the person you want to talk to is the reason you need to talk to someone?"

"I'm here now."

"For how long?"

"As long as you want me, Mac. I'm not leaving you." They both ignored the fact that he couldn't leave even if he wanted to at the moment.

"Promise me? Can you promise this won't happen again?" She was grasping at straws and knew it but she couldn't stop the question from coming out.

"You know I can't." He was silent for a moment, "I can, however, promise that I will do everything in my power to come back if it does." Mac nodded slightly, knowing that was the best she could hope for. She'd known the second she asked the question that he couldn't promise her that nothing would ever happen to him. He smiled slightly at her, letting his hand drop back across his chest and Mac suddenly realized his other was still entangled with hers. Quietly he spoke again, "You know, you're the only thing that kept me alive. If not for you I would have been long dead by the time you and Gunny and the marines showed up."

"You almost were anyways."

He could hear the pain in her voice, realizing after a moment that she was angry at herself and not him. Forcing her to meet his gaze again he spoke firmly, "But I'm not. It's not your fault, Mac; you did the best you could."

"I could have done more. Could have come after you sooner, forced them to look harder…" her voice trailed away.

"No, don't you dare think like that. Answer me honestly, would the General have let you come back any sooner? For that matter how much did he really "let" you come back? Would they, could they, have searched any harder for me?" She stared at him then reluctantly shook her head, forcing herself to acknowledge the truth of his words. "Exactly. Mac, if you believe nothing else believe me when I say it's not your fault. None of this. It's those bastards who did this to us. All the blame rests squarely at their feet and no one else's." Reluctantly she nodded in agreement. Suddenly he shot her a puzzled look, "How did you get General Cresswell to let you come after me anyway?"

For the first time since she'd entered the room Mac gave him a small smile, "I threatened to resign."

"You what?" Harm stared at her in shock. That had been the last answer he'd been expecting. Yeah, he knew she had made the comment about him doing the same for her but he had assumed she simply meant the part about coming after him. It had never crossed his mind to consider that she would actually resign her commission to do so.

"Threatened to resign. Unlike you, however, I didn't actually have to do it," he voice was lighter now, gently teasing him about his decision to come after her in Paraguay. He stared at her for a moment before gradually realizing that she really had forgiven him for his idiocy. It lightened his heart to realize that she could actually tease him about it, that maybe they really could get past their history and work towards a future.

Smiling in return he drawled, "Nice to know the General is less stubborn than the Admiral."

Laughing softly, Mac shook her head, "That I doubt. I think it had to do with the personal insult these guys offered." Processing what she had just said, her mirth fled and her eyes widened in shock. "I mean…"

Harm frowned, "Personal insult?"

"Nothing, just… I meant he took it as a personal insult that you'd been captured."

"No, Colonel, that's not what you meant. Tell me the truth."

She gazed at him sadly for a moment before answering quietly, "They took pictures. Sent them to the General."

He was silent for a long time before asking carefully, "Did you see them?"

"Yes."

"Oh God…" his head dropped slightly and he closed his eyes. Images flashed through his mind, fragmented memories of being hauled from his cell, of a man holding a camera, flashes of light, pain…

"Harm?" He heard her voice calling as if from far away. Harm struggled against the memories, clinging desperately to that voice, his lifeline. He was drowning in the memories, unaware that his eyes had snapped open and he was looking around the room wildly. He didn't see the apartment, all he could see was the prison, the fists flying at him and that infernal light flashing from the corner, blinding his too sensitive eyes. Unconsciously he let out a whimper, cringing backwards from the perceived threat. "Harm! Captain Rabb!" He heard her voice again and his mind took refuge in it, wrapping the voice around itself, slipping backwards into the blissful darkness. He drifted towards the blackness of unconsciousness, grateful for the one place that he was safe from his tormenters, the one place she still remained to him.

Dimly Harm felt something shaking him. Mac still called to him, staring in growing panic at his cringing form. His eyes were wide and wild, darting around without seeing anything. When she called to him the second time, she saw him suddenly give in, going limp and trying to curl up even more. Mac was growing desperate, nearly sobbing as she called him again, "Harm!" She wasn't entirely positive what was happening but she had a bad feeling that he was remembering. And she found she didn't want him to remember, not if this was the kind of pain he would go through in order to do so. "Harm… come on, Commander, snap out of it." She didn't notice when she reverted to his former rank, slipping automatically into a more familiar form of address.

Weakly he asked, his eyes still wild, "Mac? Sarah?"

"Harm, I'm here. It's ok. I'm here. You're safe. I'm here; you're going to be ok; everything's going to be ok. Come on, please don't leave me alone, you're safe, I need you to snap out of it." She was only vaguely aware of what she was saying, still gripping his hand with one of hers and stroking his hair softly with the other.

Gradually he calmed down, slowly becoming more alert. His gaze focused on her and he asked, his voice tinged with desperation, "Mac?"

"Yes, it's me. I'm here; you're safe." His grip tightened on her hand but she didn't say anything, just continued to pet his hair gently, waiting for him to relax. Watching him struggle to overcome the memories Mac wished furiously that she could go back and kill the bastards again for doing this to him. She wished they could be killed again, several times, as far as she was concerned a hundred deaths weren't enough. Outwardly she remained calm, continuing to murmur soothingly to Harm despite the anger raging through her. Tamping down on the anger she carefully moved closer to him, grateful that she was on his left side and the large cast on his right arm wasn't in the way. She moved slowly, unsure of how much of the real world was also part of the one in his mind and she didn't want to scare him even more. Managing to get next to him, Mac carefully wrapped her arms around him, hugging him loosely to her, whispering softly in his ear.

She was vaguely startled when his left arm wrapped around her waist, crushing her tightly against him as he gasped for breath, burying his face in her shoulder. She held him until the shuddering stopped and he breathed easily. Finally he raised his head and she was stunned at the look of utter desolation in his eyes. He stared at her for a tense moment before whispering, "Sarah?"

"Yes."

He took a shuddering breath, "You're real?" She nodded, reaching up to trace his cheekbone lightly. Taking another breath he dropped his head back to her shoulder, sitting in silence and breathing deeply. Eventually he murmured, not looking at her, "Sorry about that, I--"

"No!" She cut him off sharply then softened her voice, "No, Harm. It's not your fault, don't be sorry. Don't apologize, not for what they did to you, never for that." He nodded slightly and she could feel him relaxing against her. After a short time she murmured, still absently stroking his hair, "Are you ok?"

He nodded again, his voice muffled, "Yeah, I will be."

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you…"

"I thought we covered this already," he finally raised his head and looked at her, "it's not your fault either."

Mac gazed at him then finally nodded, seeing that he wasn't going to let her blame herself. "I know, but I still wish I'd been there for you."

"I don't."

"What?" She was shocked and a little hurt at the callousness of his reply.

"I don't, because if you'd been there they'd have done the same, or worse, to you. Mac, the only thing that kept me going was you, knowing that you had escaped and were safe. All that mattered was that you were safe, that they didn't have you. I don't know how I would have lived knowing you were still in their hands. I nearly died when you were captured in Paraguay; I never want that to happen to you again."

Staring into his eyes she could see the fear that haunted him. Softly she said, "Ok." He looked at her for a moment more before sighing in relief. Offering him a tentative smile Mac asked, "Are you uncomfortable?" At his puzzled look she indicated the slightly odd angle he was laying at, pressed against her side.

He smiled slightly and shrugged, "At little bit but it's worth it."

Mac stared at him for a moment then laughed softly, "You are such a guy." He flashed a grin, not as brilliant as his smiles usually were but a grin nonetheless and she finally felt herself relax. This particular crisis was over but she knew it wouldn't be the last, not for either of them. Harm shifted slightly to get more comfortable, wincing briefly at the dull pain in his ribs. Before Mac could insist he lie back down he leaned against her again, absently playing with her free hand. She looked down at him in exasperation, prepared to insist he straighten out properly but the words didn't come out. Instead she simply stared at him, taking in the peaceful look on his face as he studied her hand, his head resting comfortably against her side while her other arm was draped around his shoulders. Sighing softly she leaned back instead, moving her hand to play with his hair while she watched him.

The peaceful moment was broken by a sudden knock at the door, causing them both to jump. They exchanged confused looks before Mac's brain kicked back into gear, "Jen."

Harm nodded in understanding. Smiling down at him, Mac helped shift him back to his previous position on the bed before slipping off the bed herself. Tugging lightly on her shirt to straighten it, Mac made her way to the door. Glancing through the peephole she was relieved to see that it really was Jen. Despite knowledge that the Petty Officer was the only person with any real reason to come by tonight she had been half-afraid Clay was going to show back up.

Smiling, Mac pulled open the door, "Hi, Jen, come on in." The younger woman smiled back at her and stepped inside. Mac grinned at the wriggling puppy Jen held in her arms and reached out to take him, laughing as he simply wriggled more, clearly excited to see her. Jen smiled at the sight and moved towards the table to set down the bag containing the puppy's stuff. Mac closed the door and followed her, still cuddling Hammer, "How was he?"

"He was great, ma'am. Typical puppy, of course, but that's no problem."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, ma'am. It was no trouble, I enjoyed having him around; he's a sweetie."

Mac arched an eyebrow slightly, "Jen, please, I'm on medical leave and you've been taking care of my dog for me, can't you call me Mac for at least a little while?"

Jen smiled sheepishly, "Sorry, Mac." Mac smiled in approval and wandered over to the couch, waving for Jen to have a seat. Glancing down at the puppy in her lap Mac couldn't resist the urge to cuddle him close for just a moment, irrationally glad to have him back. Jen glanced around curiously as she sat down, "Where's Comm- Captain Rabb?"

"In the bedroom, the doctor doesn't want him sitting up too much just yet." Jen nodded in understanding. "Listen, Jen, why don't you stay for dinner?"

"Oh no, I couldn't impose, ma'am." At Mac's look she hastily corrected herself, "Mac."

"It wouldn't be an imposition, honest. Besides, I have to repay you somehow for looking after Hammer."

"Oh no, you don't owe me anything for that, really."

Mac sighed; sometimes Jen's independence really annoyed her. "Jen, I'm not going to just foist my pet off on you without some repayment."

Jen opened her mouth to protest but a glare from Mac made her realize that would be a bad idea. Instead she smiled weakly, "If you insist." There was a brief silence before Jen asked hesitantly, "How is the Captain?"

Mac smiled slightly, "Better. His injuries are healing well though he'll still be in casts for weeks. But the doctor expects a full recovery."

"And his memory?"

Mac was silent for a short time before answering, "It's coming back. He remembers more every day though there's still gaps."

Jen nodded, then lowered her voice, asking quietly, "Does he remember Mattie? She wants to come see him this weekend but I don't know how well she could handle it if he didn't remember her."

Mac studied the other woman for a moment, noting the concern. She had to admit, getting Jen to room with Mattie had definitely been one of Harm's better ideas. Mac nodded slightly, "He does though not everything. Sadly the first thing to come back was her moving back to live with her dad." Jen winced slightly and Mac hastened to add, "But he remembers more now, just not everything."

"Good, that's good. You wouldn't mind… if she came to see him?"

"Of course not. She deserves to visit him as much as anyone." Mac could see Jen relax slightly and mentally heaved a sigh, wondering if the Petty Officer would ever feel fully comfortable around her.

Jen glanced at her and asked, "And how are you doing, ma'am?"

Mac didn't bother to correct her this time just smiled and gave a one shouldered shrug, "I've definitely been better. I'll be glad when this court martial is over and Harm is back on his feet."

Jen nodded, "I understand. How's your leg?"

"Better, still hurts if I'm on it too long or do something stupid but definitely better."

"That's great." They sat in silence for a bit longer before Jen stood, "I should get going."

"Are you sure? We wouldn't mind having you stay for dinner." Mac stood also, smiling at Jen.

Jen smiled and shook her head, "I'm sure. I have some things to do tonight."

"If you insist." Mac walked her to the door then leaned against it briefly after she'd left. She hadn't taken Jen's stubbornness into account when she'd decided to take the other woman to dinner. Ah well, she'd figure it out. Still snuggling Hammer to her, Mac double checked that the door was locked before wandering back to the bedroom. She paused in the doorway and smiled at the sight of Harm twiddling his thumbs while staring at the ceiling, "Hey."

He looked down the bed at her, "Hey." Smiling he gestured to the dog, "I take it this is Hammer?"

Mac nodded and moved forward, settling next to Harm on the bed and setting the dog down. For his part Hammer glanced curiously from her to Harm before carefully making his way towards Harm's head, snuffling curiously at the new man. Mac watched in amusement as the dog gave a yip and promptly tried to bathe Harm's face with his tongue. Harm spluttered and tried futilely to push the dog away. He knew he could get the dog off him in a second but he didn't want to risk hurting the animal and so was left to flail uselessly while Mac laughed. Eventually he managed to splutter, "When you're done laughing at me could you mind getting him away from my face?"

Still chuckling Mac scooped up the puppy, who promptly began trying to squirm out of her arms, "He likes you."

Harm eyed the dog for a moment before reaching out to ruffle his ears, "I like him too, just not in my face."

Mac looked at him and he could see hesitation and worry reflected in her eyes, "Really?"

He smiled reassuringly, "Yes." Still petting the puppy he took the opportunity to inspect Hammer more closely, able to get a better look at him now that the dog wasn't trying to lick him to death. After a minute he commented softly, "He's the same color as a Tomcat on his back."

Mac nodded, answering quietly, "Yeah, he is. That's part of why I got him."

"And the other part?"

"He was way too arrogant for his own good with the other puppies," she grinned, eyes dancing with amusement.

Harm eyed her for a moment then commented with his own grin, "Well, it's a good thing I'm not like that."

Mac laughed and nodded slightly, "Of course not." She looked down at the dog in her arms. Hammer had finally calmed down and was laying quietly, his chin on her arm. Quietly she added, "He reminded me of you, I'm not completely sure why. But I saw him in the window and next thing I knew I'd bought him."

Harm was watching the play of emotions across her face carefully. Gently he reached out and petted Hammer's head before moving his hand to tilt Mac's face up. Smiling he murmured, "I'm glad. I'm glad you had something, well… someone I guess, here with you when I couldn't be. And I have to admit, he is pretty cute."

"He is, isn't he?" It took Harm a moment to realize she was looking at him and not the dog. When he did, he smiled up at her, blue eyes twinkling but he didn't call her on it, content to just sit with her and the dog.


	27. Chapter 27

_Disclaimer: Still not mine, never will be, don't sue me._

_Ok guys. I'm posting this last chapter from a Barnes and Noble in Montgomery, Alabama. I know I said a couple chapters but it turned out to be only one because I'm seriously running out of time seeing as I start OTS tomorrow. This does indeed end the story but there's a lot more I want to write. Soo... while MIA is now done I am planning on writing a sequel which deals a lot more with the aftermath and psychological aspects of the events in this story. Which is why this ended up being only one more chapter because some of the things I was going to cover have been moved to the sequel. So here it is, the last chapter of MIA. Thanks to everyone who has been reading this and especially to those who have reviewed. I really appreciate it (yeah, I say that a lot but I do mean it) and I hope you have enjoyed the story as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Sequel won't be up until at least November so look for it come this winter. Thanks again to everyone! More notes at the end.

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**Wednesday**

**JAG Headquarters**

**1915 ZULU**

Commander Sturgis Turner sighed heavily as he placed the phone back in the cradle. He'd been on the damned thing all day trying to juggle three different cases not including Vukovic's upcoming court martial. For a brief moment he bitterly resented Harm and Mac's absence, resulting in everyone else getting snowed under with work. Almost immediately he regretted the emotion, reminding himself that it wasn't their fault. For that matter, considering the reason behind their absence he couldn't logically stay mad. He knew he sure as hell wouldn't want to be going through what they were.

Scrubbing a hand over his face, Sturgis leaned back in his chair, taking a few minutes to relax before getting on the phone again. He hadn't talked to Harm or Mac since dropping them off Monday, instead having Bud perform all the required communicating. He felt vaguely guilty about basically avoiding the pair but he didn't want to risk a repeat of the hospital confrontation. Besides, he had no idea what to say to them beyond work related topics. Sturgis wondered sadly when the situation had gotten so bad. Glancing outside his office briefly to make sure no one needed him, he pulled open a desk drawer and tugged out a picture. Frowning, he studied it. It was a picture of Harm, Keeter, and himself at their Naval Academy graduation. Things had seemed so simple back then; it'd been easy to think they would all remain friends forever. Now Sturgis couldn't remember the last time he'd talked to Keeter and he was in the middle or a huge argument with Harm.

Sighing again he shoved the picture back in the drawer. Trying to push the depressing thoughts from his mind he pulled the file for Vukovic's case towards him. He knew the chances of regaining such a close friendship with Harm were slim. The least he could do was try his best to put guy who caused such trouble for his old friend behind bars. Scowling down at the file he flipped it open, carefully rereading every detail and note he had. Bud had come to many of the same conclusions and Sturgis hoped fervently that they had enough to get a conviction. The testimonies were pretty clear but they both knew the entire case hinged on Harm and Mac. Mac had already agreed to testify but it was Harm's presence that would really turn the tide. Unfortunately Sturgis wasn't sure they would get it. So far Mac was stubbornly insisting that it hinged on whether Harm remembered enough to do so. As it stood neither was being very clear on just how much Harm did remember, resulting in Bud and Sturgis being unsure about Harm's eventual presence at the trial.

Painstakingly Sturgis began to rewrite the outline for the prosecution, adding even more notes than were already there. The trial started at 0900 the following morning and he wanted to make absolutely certain they were prepared. Initially both Bud and he had been surprised at the quick turn around in scheduling. After a short discussion they'd realized that this was by far the most serious case currently up for trial and considering the consequences the "alleged" crimes had caused, they figured it wasn't all that surprising after all. Every other case Sturgis was handling were minor, the majority of which, if not all, would be settled out of court. After asking around a bit he discovered that most of the other cases in the backlog were the same, leaving Vukovic's court martial as the priority.

Hearing a knock Sturgis called out absently, "Enter." When the door closed again he glanced up, smiling briefly at Bud and waving him to a seat. After finishing what he was writing, Sturgis leaned back, "So, what's new?"

Bud set his own file down, flipping it open, "Not a whole lot. Everything seems to be in order."

"Talk to Mac?"

Bud nodded, "Yes. She said she'll be here in the morning."

"And Harm?"

Bud gave Sturgis an apologetic look, "So far no confirmation on whether he'll be at the trial. Colonel MacKenzie is still insisting it be his decision based on how much he remembers."

"But she won't say what he remembers?"

"Actually, Captain Rabb won't say it. I talked to him and he's dancing around the subject as much as she is." Bud sighed and shrugged, "I can't get them to budge."

Sturgis huffed irritably, tempted to call the pair himself but he knew if he did he would just irritate Mac even more. After a short pause he bit out, "Ok, so we'll just go on the assumption that Harm won't be present. At least we'll have Mac's testimony; hers is going to be the key our entire case hinges on." Bud nodded in agreement. He didn't have to be told twice. In all honestly neither man was really looking forward to hearing Mac's description of events again. It made their blood boil to think of what she had gone through and they knew it had been ten times worse for Harm. Both sighed slightly then settled in to hammer out the final details of the case, throwing all their efforts into forming a winning case.

**Mac's Apartment**

**0100 ZULU**

Mac wandered back into the bedroom after she finished cleaning up the kitchen to find Harm apparently asleep. Smiling slightly to herself she moved around the room as quietly as she could. The doctor had said the painkillers would make him sleep more than usual and she only hoped he'd get some good sleep this time. It seemed that nearly every time he slept for more than a few hours he would wake up from a nightmare. Not that Mac was much better, if Harm wasn't waking up screaming then she was. Wryly she thought it was quite a miracle that either of them could even function any longer with such little consecutive sleep. Pausing at Harm's side she brushed her fingertips lightly across his cheek. When he didn't stir she kissed him softly on the forehead and slipped out of the room, reassured that he was sleeping soundly for the moment.

Settling on the couch she absently picked Hammer up when he batted at her feet. Sighing softly she idly stroked the puppy while contemplating the upcoming trial. She didn't at all look forward to having to restate everything that had happened to her. It was bad enough that the events haunted her every moment without recounting them, again, to a crowd. Mac honestly wasn't sure about Harm, either. She knew he wanted to testify yet he seemed even more terrified than she of speaking out loud about what had happened to him. It wasn't that he said anything about it, but she could see the fear in his eyes whenever the subject of testifying was brought up and she'd noticed him dance around the subject.

Mac had actually been pretty surprised when he didn't leap on the chance to testify in the trial. Though she knew he didn't remember everything about his captivity, and chances were he probably never would, he remembered enough to make a compelling testimony. Yet he'd shied away from the idea. That action, more than anything, hammered home just how much this whole situation had messed up everything. Mac knew her Harm, the man she'd been partnered with for so many years, was still there yet now it was tempered with the trauma of recent events.

She had also noticed a rather distinct difference between how Harm interacted with her and how he spoke to others. Jen had come by again to see them and both Bud and Harriet had stopped by also. When the others were around Harm would become quieter, still charming and friendly yet a distinct difference from his old personality. When they left he'd loosen up, subtly shifting more towards the way he had been before Iraq. It worried her and yet she understood it completely. Mac had noticed a tendency herself to withdraw around their friends as well. Shaking her head slightly she wondered sadly if the situation had permanently damaged their ability to trust others, even their own friends.

Letting out a slow breath she decided to worry more about their psychological issues later. Right now she needed to worry about the trial. Resigning herself to the prospect of having to talk about it again in the morning, Mac began mentally reviewing what she wanted to say. She didn't want to risk leaving anything out. She decided she would discuss the possibility of getting Harm to the trial with him in the morning.

**Friday**

**JAG Headquarters**

**1400 ZULU**

Lieutenant Commander Roberts sighed tiredly, following Commander Turner into the court room. The previous day had seemed to drag on forever. The whole day had been taken up by testimonies for the prosecution, including Colonel MacKenzie's. Bud had heard her testimony before yet it was no easier to hear it again. In fact, knowing now how bad off Harm was made it worse. He couldn't help but picture the events and his overactive mind kept interspersing Mac's description with vivid images of Captain Rabb even though no one had heard Harm's account of the events. Bud wondered briefly if even Colonel MacKenzie had heard everything.

Setting down his briefcase, Bud glanced up absently as the door to the court room opened. His jaw dropping in shock, he wordlessly reached over and tapped Sturgis on the shoulder. When the older man looked at him curiously Bud silently pointed at the door. Sturgis frowned slightly then turned around also. Bud could see his own surprise reflected on the Commander's face when he saw Captain Rabb sitting in a wheelchair just inside the room, Colonel MacKenzie standing stoically behind him.

Both lawyers stood frozen as Mac carefully pushed the wheelchair up the aisle, clearly using it for her own support as well. The door opened again and General Cresswell slipped in, watching the pair silently. Bud studied his superior officer for a long moment, trying to determine whether the General had anything to do with the sudden appearance of Harm. The General's face gave nothing away, however, his expression carefully closed. Bud redirected his gaze to Harm and Mac as the two officers drew closer. He noticed that they had managed to get Harm's uniform over the casts and the shoulders were now adorned with captain's shoulder boards.

Harm glanced between the two officers and Bud was struck by how exhausted he looked. For that matter, on closer inspection, he realized Mac also looked drained. Frowning to himself, the Commander began to wonder if there was more going on than he realized. When he had talked to Harm and Mac on the phone and in person they had seemed collected and capable, he had never noticed the tiredness or the haunted eyes. Harm spoke quietly and Bud looked back down at him, "You said you wanted me to testify?"

Sturgis nodded warily, replying quietly, "Yes, we do."

Harm was silent for a moment, exchanging a brief glance with Mac. Neither officer's expression gave anything away though Bud figured they had to be communicating something to each other. After a pause Harm gave a sharp nod, "Fine."

Sturgis stared in shock, finally managing to collect himself, "You will?"

Harm nodded again, once more exchanging a glance with Mac. Mac nodded slightly to him then turned and moved her partner and herself to the waiting room for witnesses. Neither one glanced at Vukovic when the Lieutenant walked by with his lawyer. Ignoring the shock on Vukovic's face, the pair settled in to wait for Harm to be called to the stand.

**JAG Headquarters**

**1615 ZULU**

Commander Turner rose, exchanging a glance with Bud. Captain McCord and the jury looked at him curiously, waiting for him to speak. Sturgis took a deep breath and glanced briefly at Commander Matthews and Lieutenant Vukovic, both of whom were watching him warily. Allowing himself a tight smile Sturgis looked down at his file before looking back up at the judge. "Your honor, the prosecution calls Captain Harmon Rabb to the stand." Sturgis heard the sharp intakes of breath from both Matthews and Vukovic but didn't look at them again, waiting in silence for Harm to enter.

The bailiff helped the Captain to the stand and Sturgis saw Mac waiting out of the corner of his eye. Taking another deep breath he stepped around the table, smiling slightly Harm. Harm looked at him for a moment then nodded slightly, indicating his readiness though he didn't smile back. After another short pause Sturgis began, "Please state your name, rank, and current billet."

"Captain Harmon Rabb, JAG Headquarters, Falls Church, Virginia."

Harm took a steadying breath as he waited for Sturgis to begin. Mac and he had had a long discussion about his testimony the night before. Harm still wasn't sure about describing the events to others but eventually they had agreed that he needed to do this. Some of his memories were still fuzzy and there were a few gaps but he remembered enough to convey the proper events. Realizing Sturgis had asked him something, Harm answered automatically, grateful for the return of enough memories of legal training to remind him of what he should be saying, "Captain Harmon Rabb, JAG Headquarters, Falls Church, Virginia."

"Thank you, Captain. Let's start at the beginning. I have orders here that state you were being sent to Florida, is that correct?"

"Yes."

"Did you ever arrive in Florida?"

"No, I was redirected mid-flight to the middle east."

"Mid-flight? How did you get to the middle east then?"

"In-flight refueling."

"Right. What happened when you arrived in the middle east?"

"I landed in country and boarded a COD destined for the USS Reprisal."

"Why?"

"I was being sent to aid Lieutenant Colonel MacKenzie on a case."

"Were you told why she needed your help? Specifically?"

"Yes. The case involved an F-14 pilot accused of firing on our own men. As an F-14 pilot I suppose they thought my experience would be necessary."

"You suppose?"

Harm arched an eyebrow, "Well they didn't exactly explain their reasoning to me. I was ordered out to help with the case, so I went, I didn't take the time to question it."

Sturgis nodded slightly, smiling again. It was a perfectly logical answer and Harm knew the Commander could use it in his favor. "So you were following your orders, as an officer should?"

"Objection, leading the witness!" Commander Matthews' voice rang out. Harm had been wondering how long it would be until she said something.

Sturgis didn't even look over at her, keeping his gaze fixed on the judge. Captain McCord nodded slightly, "Sustained."

Sturgis thought for a moment then asked instead, "You were heading out to the Reprisal correct?" Harm nodded. "Why then, were you in country?"

"To question the marines that had been shot at as well as the Harrier pilot. They were all stationed on the ground so we went to them. The Captain of the Reprisal gave us permission as the marines we were to talk to were supposedly stationed well away from the front lines."

Sturgis nodded slightly, shooting a sidelong glance at Matthews to see if she was going to say anything. When the other lawyer was silent he continued, "What happened when you got in country?"

Harm shifted slightly, hanging on to his control for dear life. He could feel the horrible memories lurking just out of reach, waiting to overwhelm him. He forced himself to distance himself from the events, trying to retain a modicum of calm, "We talked to the marines. We had just finished our interviews when the group we were with was ambushed in a town."

"You participated in the fight?"

"Objection, relevance," interjected Commander Matthews.

This time Sturgis defended himself, "Your honor, this information impacts the future actions. It is relevant."

McCord appeared to debate with himself for a moment then nodded sharply, "Overruled. Continue, Commander." Sturgis nodded and turned back to Harm, waiting for the Captain's answer.

Harm nodded, "Yes, we did. We had to; otherwise we would have probably ended up dead."

"Why?"

"We're trained officers. The marines didn't have the time to worry about a few lawyers, nor should they have to."

"Then what happened?"

Harm took a deep breath, "The fighting finished. There was… I don't know; something happened. I heard Ma- Colonel MacKenzie shout something. I remember running, next thing I knew we were face to face with our enemies."

"And?"

"We surrendered; we didn't have a whole lot of choice. Not that it did us any good," Harm replied bitterly.

"Do you remember why Colonel MacKenzie shouted?"

Harm thought for a long moment, struggling to put his memories in order. Eventually he answered, his voice becoming more confident as he spoke, "She saw something. Lieutenant Vukovic was running somewhere, she wanted him to stop."

"Did he?"

Harm shook his head slightly, "No. We… ran after him."

"And then?"

"I… I'm not sure. There were men… Vukovic was on the ground."

"Your men? Or others?"

"I don't know." Harm looked disconcertingly confused, "I think they were others, but I just… I can't picture them."

Sturgis was quiet for a moment, studying his old friend. He gave what he hoped was an encouraging nod, "Continue. Please?"

Harm sighed, mentally bracing himself. He looked over to where Mac was sitting, her eyes never leaving his face. When she noticed him looking at her she smiled reassuringly. Harm smiled weakly in return. Keeping his eyes fixed on her, he began to speak, knowing if he looked away the memories would defeat him, "They put into… a truck, I suppose. I remember them hitting us, yelling at us for talking to each other. We were dragged into small rooms." There was utter silence in the court room as Harm talked, his gaze still fixed firmly on Mac. He could see the worry reflected in her eyes and a part of him knew she was right to do so, he wasn't sure he would make it through this. Slowly he continued, "They hit us, asked us questions."

"What did they want?" Sturgis' voice was quiet, trying not to startle the man sitting at the stand.

Harm shrugged, "I don't remember. I assume information about the US forces in the area but… I can't remember." He stopped abruptly, fighting with the flashes of memory. He could feel himself slowly being drowned in the horror and frantically focused on Mac's face, breathing slowly, grasping vainly at her image to keep himself from falling.

"Keep going, please."

Harm felt resentment bubble to the surface at being forced to talk about this. What was left of his rational mind comforted him with the knowledge that it was important to talk about it, that it would result in a positive ending though he could no longer remember what that ending was. "I don't know how long we were there when I heard Colonel MacKenzie's voice outside my cell. The door wouldn't open and I…" His voice hitched and he could see the anguish in Mac's gaze. Trying to silently reassure her that he didn't hold anything against her he continued quietly, "I ordered her to leave and save the lieutenant. After she left I tried to get out but couldn't, the lock was too rusty to be opened without a key.

"They were angry. Yelling. I was thrown into… I'm not sure, someplace dark. The rest of it is a blur, a painful blur. Eventually they found me." He didn't make a distinction between the "they" in his speech, unsure if he could even give a distinction at the moment. Harm fell silent, only then realizing that he was breathing raggedly. He could remember more details, they flashed through his mind rapidly, but he couldn't bring himself to describe them. He hoped that no one would ask for them, he knew if he had to try and talk about it he would lose what little control he had managed to retain.

Sturgis was silent for a long moment, watching his friend struggle with himself. Finally he asked quietly, "Can you tell us about the injuries you've sustained?" At Harm's wild look he added quickly, "Just tell us what they are."

Harm nodded slowly, briefly closing his eyes. He opened them immediately, feeling the fear surge forward at the darkness. Haltingly he answered, still breathing heavily but gradually calming, "Broken ribs, broken bones in both arms and both legs, concussion, bruised organs."

"Thank you." Sturgis chanced a glance at Captain McCord and the jury. Everyone was staring at Harm with varying degrees of horror and pity reflected on their faces. Looking back at Harm he stated, voice calm, "Captain? We're going to talk about the events at the hospital now, alright?" Finally Harm managed to look away from Mac, nodding slightly in agreement. He could feel her still watching him and knew that he could control his inner demons for at least a little longer. When Sturgis saw that he had Harm's attention he asked, "Can you tell me about the encounter at the hospital?"

"Lieutenant Vukovic came into the room, said he was there to see how we were doing. He asked to speak to Colonel MacKenzie in private when she refused he tried to insist. I stepped in and repeated what she'd said. At that point he got a bit… irritated with me and continued to insist on speaking with her in private. The Colonel refused again and he implied that she was deliberately trying to harm his career. She asked him to leave. When he refused I asked also. Eventually she ordered him out."

"I see. You say he got a bit irritated, can you elaborate?"

Harm shifted uncomfortably, trying to state the facts as objectively as possible, "He told me it wasn't up to me as to whether he could speak to the Colonel in private."

"And?"

"Colonel MacKenzie simply reiterated what I had said."

"She was not being antagonistic towards the Lieutenant?"

Harm frowned, glaring at Sturgis, "No, if anyone was being antagonistic to the lieutenant it was me. You see, it was my hospital room and I didn't want her to leave as that would leave me unable to do anything. As you can see I'm still confined to a wheelchair and at the time I could barely move. Being alone was not high on my list of preferred situations." He knew he shouldn't get so forceful towards Sturgis but he couldn't help himself, he refused to let anyone imply that Mac was at all at fault. He would rather take the blame himself than have someone think his partner was being a poor officer.

Sturgis spoke calmly, "Ok, I'm sorry; I wasn't trying to imply anything, Captain." Harm glared at him a moment longer then gave a short nod. Sturgis looked at Captain McCord, "No further questions, your honor."

McCord nodded and glanced at Lieutenant Matthews who, Harm was pleased to note, looked rather uneasy about saying anything. "Lieutenant?" McCord asked, waiting calmly for the lawyer to begin.

Matthews cleared her throat and stood, shuffling the papers in front of her. She didn't look up at Harm when she asked, "You admit that you are having problems remembering the events of Iraq?"

"Yes, being hit on the head several times will do that to you," Harm replied. Briefly something flashed through his mind, a memory of deliberately blocking out his own mind but it was gone before he could grab it, leaving him wondering about the specifics of his amnesia.

He was startled out of his musings by Matthews' next question, "Then how can we accept a testimony by someone who admits to having amnesia?"

"Objection!" Bud and Sturgis spoke in unison, both men shooting to their feet with furious expressions on their faces.

Harm saw Matthews flinch at the vehemence and she rapidly stated, "Withdrawn."

Harm gazed down at her impassively, ignoring her comment and replied, "Because, though yes, I am having problems remembering everything I do remember quite a lot. Though my mind is not clear on some of the specifics of my captivity what I do remember, I remember very clearly." His voice was haunted and he dimly noticed everyone watching him intently, a part of him registered that they appeared to believe him but the larger part of him was struggling to stay calm. He didn't like having it implied that he was untrustworthy.

No one spoke for a long moment then Matthews cleared her throat again, "Ok. Umm… You said you ran after the Lieutenant. Why?"

"Because…" Harm hesitated, frowning thoughtfully. "To stop him."

"Stop him from what?"

Harm frowned more, focusing intently on his memories, no longer paying attention to the people around him, "He was running… away from the marines. It was the wrong direction. We… we'd seen some of the ambushers come from that direction, it was dangerous to go without the marines."

"So you chased him to stop him?"

"Yes."

"What did you find when you found him?"

Harm cocked his head slightly, "I don't recall exactly. I remember seeing him lying on the ground, and then I remember him being carried into a building while the Colonel and I were taken elsewhere. The next time I remember seeing him he was conscious but a bit bruised. Then I didn't see him again until I was in Bethesda."

"I see. Speaking of Bethesda, you said you told the Lieutenant he could not speak to the Colonel?"

"No, I told him he wasn't going to be speaking to her alone. This was after the Colonel had already told him that he could speak to her in there or not at all."

"And why would you say that?"

Harm frowned irritably, his patience wearing thin, "I already answered that. I will admit to not wanting her to leave as I did not wish to be alone due to my own inability to do anything for myself. And since she had also already stated that she did not want to speak to him in private I felt confident in backing her up."

"I see. Then later you asked him to leave, _before _the Colonel did so."

"Objection--"

Sturgis didn't get a chance to finish his sentence before McCord spoke, pinning Matthews with a firm stare, "Sustained. Is there a question in there, Commander?"

"Ah, yes, your honor. Captain Rabb, did you ask the Lieutenant to leave before the Colonel?"

"Objection, the witness is not on trial."

"Sustained."

Matthews frowned, "Captain Rabb, how did the lieutenant react when you asked him to leave?"

Harm was watching her steadily, his blue eyes calmer than they had been all day, "He said he wouldn't leave until he had his answer. At that point the Colonel also insisted he leave, eventually ordering him to do so."

"And his reaction to this?"

"He left," Harm paused before adding, "Eventually." He plowed on before Matthews could speak again, seeing that she was about to end the questions. "She did have to tell him three times."

Matthews scowled though she was careful to keep her face directed towards her papers and not anyone else in the room. After a short moment she looked up, face calm once more, "Thank you, Captain, no further questions."

Harm nodded then looked to the bailiff and Mac for help. Both immediately moved forward and once she was able Mac rapidly moved them both out of the room. Neither of them looked around as they left. Once back outside the court room Harm let out a long breath and looked back up at Mac, his eyes haunted, "I never want to do that again."

Mac nodded and pulled a chair next to him, lacing her fingers with his, "I know. Harm, I'm so sorry you had to do that."

"Don't be. It was my decision. I'm just glad you were there. I…" his voice hitched as the emotions he'd suppressed during the testimony came flooding back. "I don't think I would have gotten through it without you."

Mac gripped his hand tighter, trying to convey as much reassurance as possible. He gave her a slight smile, changing the subject, "How much longer do you think the trial will take?"

She sighed, "Probably at least another day. I wouldn't be surprised if it lasts until Tuesday."

He nodded slightly having come to the same conclusion. Squeezing her hand briefly, Harm regretted that they were here and in uniform. He wanted nothing more at the moment than to go home and be able to let go. Sighing he resigned himself to waiting as they both settled in to wait until they could leave.

**Wednesday**

**JAG Headquarters**

**1500 ZULU**

Sturgis and Bud watched the jury anxiously as they reentered the court room. Harm and Mac were both seated in the back of the room but neither man turned to look at them. Vukovic sat tensely in his seat, rigidly at attention staring straight ahead. The trial had dragged on, finally ending late Tuesday and now he was waiting to hear what the jury had decided. He didn't need his lawyer to tell him it didn't look good. Captain McCord stated, "Will the defense please rise."

Stiffly Lieutenant Vukovic rose, coming to attention. Commander Matthews stood next to him, much more relaxed and watching the jury intently. Mentally Vukovic sneered, _of course she can be relaxed; her career isn't the one on the line._ The jury took their seats, handing the paper to Captain McCord. He perused it briefly then handed it back, "Please read the conclusions."

The jury's speaker stood, clearing his throat. He glanced down at the paper and read, voice clear, echoing through the court room. "Lieutenant Gregory Vukovic, on the charge and specification of disobeying a direct order in time of war, guilty. On the charge and specification of reckless endangerment, guilty. On the charge and specification of misbehavior before the enemy, not guilty. On the charge and specification of conduct unbecoming an officer, guilty. On the charge and specification of disrespecting a superior officer, guilty on all counts." Vukovic tried to see any hints of compassion in the faces of the jurors but found none. The officers gazed steadily forward, expressions impassive.

McCord nodded slightly, "Sentencing?"

"For these charges this court sentences Lieutenant Vukovic to reduction in rank, dishonorable discharge, forfeiture of all pay and benefits, and thirty years imprisonment." The man sat back down and Vukovic stared in disbelief. He couldn't believe what was happening. Sure they'd found him not guilty on one of the charges but it was minor when he considered all the other charges piled against him. He supposed he should be grateful that they hadn't sentenced him to death or even life in prison but his life was still over. Numbly he let the guards lead him away, searching the room for Captain Rabb and Colonel MacKenzie. He knew they had come to hear the results but he couldn't find them in the room. Dimly he wondered if anyone would even come to visit him.

THE END

* * *

_Thanks to Vrbinka, Nix, harmfan, dansingwolf, jaggurl, Brittany, EY, froggy, Radiorox, snugglebug, Lynn and anyone else I missed! Again, thanks for sticking it out despite my insane update schedule at times._

_harmfan - Yeah, I do intend to keep writing JAG fic. I'm glad you like the changes. I must say, you guys had a point and it really does work better this way. Thanks for the words of encouragement:) _

_Brittany - Hope you like what happens to Vukovic. More details about his reactions etc. will be in the sequel. :)_

_Radiorox - lol Yeah, he needs lots of therapy. And no, my puppy:P just kidding_

_And because I like fun facts: The name McCord is actually the last name of the actor who played a judge on a few eps of JAG (can't remember the character's name). He also was a recurring character in Farscape which is a large part of why I chose that particular name.  
_


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